It was another week before Dave could finally pluck the courage to ask Chris out for dinner. He kept telling himself that it wasn't a date, just dinner with someone he had met at the gym, dinner with an associate.

He didn't fuss as much about what he was going to wear as he had with Kurt, but that was almost because he didn't have to. He knew, by this point, very well what looked good on him: snug, clingy T-shirts and slim-fit jeans and nice tennis-shoes looked good nearly anywhere. Looking in the mirror always brought a smug look to his face. Dave knew he looked good, nowhere near chubby.

Kurt, eat your heart out, he shot mentally at the mirror before grabbing his keys and hopping in his car to head for the Italian restaurant he'd chosen to meet Chris for dinner. The smaller man was similarly dressed, which was a relief to Dave, who didn't want to seem like he was dressing down on purpose. After all, all of this was just a casual dinner between friends, right?

Chris waved, a large grin on his face when he recognized Dave as he approached.

"Long time no see," he quipped, pushing the sandy blond mess of hair back off his forehead.

"Yeah," Dave shrugged, suddenly feeling shy, his rounded cheeks tinting a little in embarrassment, "I haven't felt like going to the gym lately. Had a lot to think about."

Chris reached out and ran his hand over Dave's round but solid stomach, a small smirk on his lips.

"The only muscle thinking works is your brain, honey, gotta keep your other sexy points tuned up, too," he winked and practically sashayed into the restaurant, leaving a dismayed Dave in his wake.

The bigger man blustered his way inside, and barely made it to Chris's side as they were ushered to a table. The waitress eyed them both before asking for their drink order, and Dave eyed her right back as he gave his. He wasn't used to being gawked at for any other reason but that he was a pretty big guy. Being stared at because he was eating with another dude, something that shouldn't seem so out of the norm, made him feel a little comfortable, and once again he found that he was asking himself if he was that obvious. Or maybe Chris was just giving off such crazy fairy vibes, Dave was being held guilty by association, not that he wasn't.

"So what have you been thinking about," Chris said when the pesky girl left and Dave snapped out of his reverie.

"Um . . ." he stuttered, then shook his head, chuckling, "You really don't mince words, do you?"

Chris's lips curled into an evil little grin.

"You could say that," the fey-like man replied, "But since you made a point of mentioning it, I'm making a point of asking about it."

Dave looked up, his tongue flicking out the way it did when he was in deep thought and then he shrugged, pushing his lips into a deep, thoughtful twist.

"About this guy," he said honestly.

He knew it was bad form to mention other guys on what Chris might be considering their first dates, but Dave felt it was a better idea to lay everything out on the table, so that if things when further than friendship with Chris, and he could envision that, Chris knew just what he was getting into.

Chris wasn't saying anything. He was just looking at Dave intently, silently giving him permission to continue, so Dave did.

"This guy from high school, the first guy I ever came out to. I bullied him because I was scared, but I was also in love with him," Dave's voice lowered to a whisper, "I think I still might be."

Chris nodded, but remained silent, content, it seemed, to allow Dave to speak his mind.

"Fact of the matter is, the two of us have history. There's a lot of really dark stuff between us, but he's a part of who I am . . . he's the reason I am who I am," Dave explained, "He gave me a lot in school. We were friends . . . good friends, until I tried to make us more. He told me we couldn't be friends anymore."

Dave cut himself off, hearing tears beginning to shake his voice. When did he become such an emotional little queen? He took a few deep breaths before finishing.

"I haven't spoken to him in seven months. I don't know how he is, or even if he's thinking about me," he said in a monotone.

"I doubt he's not," Chris said softly, "I barely even know you and I think about you all the time."

That stopped all of Dave's conflicting thoughts in their tracks and he stared at Chris.

"Really," he asked, surprised at the hopeful tone in his voice, though he couldn't decide whether it was because he was hopeful that Kurt was thinking of him or Chris.

Chris reached over and gently ran his index over Dave's hand and smiled, his eyes softening in a way that Dave had never seen him do. It sent chills through him and he found himself fixated with those eyes, blue and gentle and understanding.

"Really," Chris murmured.

0000

Dave decided on that being their first date, and then there was a second, a third, a fourth and by the fifth he had come to the conclusion that this was more than just an association or a friendship. He thought he was developing feelings for Chris, and he was sure that the other man, who he found out was actually a bit older than him, was developing feelings as well. Dave had already asked if the age difference bothered Chris, but the older man had just laughed at him and called him 'cute'.

There was never an official word on it, but they were together every waking moment practically, and Chris introduced Dave to his friends as his 'significant other'. It made Dave ifeel/i significant to be introduced that way. Even though it had been a few months and school was starting in a few weeks, Dave felt like it had been ages that they had been together. The more he learned about Chris, the more he felt himself fall.

At the back of his mind, he could hear Kurt whispering his name, but every time he did, it grew just a little bit fainter.

It was Chris who started to initiate their physical relationship, which was odd for Dave, who had always felt more comfortable in the aggressor's role. The first time they kissed had been nothing like any other kiss Dave had had. It was short, simple, nothing more than a little peck to his lips before Chris slipped through his apartment door, leaving Dave shell-shocked, blushing and checking the halls to make sure no one had seen.

The pecks turned into more fairly quickly; deep kisses shared in dark corners of bars, slippery, wet and hungry just before saying goodbye for the night, nuzzling and sweet when out in broad daylight, but it was all exhilarating because it was something that was being fully participated in by both parties. Dave never met resistance with Chris, and it made him tingle all the way to his toes and ache in his heart.

If only things with Kurt . . .

Dave firmly tried to stuff down those thoughts and focus on the person he was with, because Chris was good for him. Chris made him feel brave and strong and wanted. It was nothing like the things Kurt had made him feel, and even though that thought him, Dave pushed it away to concentrate on what was going right.

Midterms approached and Dave realized it had been a year since Kurt had last visited him in Chicago, and nearly that long since they'd last spoken. Unbidden, that day was the lowest he'd ever felt. He wanted nothing more than to see Kurt, hear his voice, look at his smile, smell his skin and be close enough to touch and hold him.

Chris noticed that night how down Dave was, but asked very few questions as to why. He simply announced to Dave that he had a surprise for him.

Dave followed Chris back to the other man's bedroom, his heart beginning to race. He'd limited their interactions to each other's couches, mostly because he was nervous about things going all the way. He had justified it with several excuses, but he couldn't deny the reason why he'd truly avoided a sexual relationship with a guy was because he didn't want to close his eyes in the middle, see Kurt's face and say his name by accident.

Chris was gentle with him, guiding him slowly, confidently, through their first act of love making. It had certainly been special, but Dave felt something curl up and die in him as he looked up to see that the face hovering close to his wasn't Kurt's, the body rolling and pressing against him belonged to the wrong person. He tried to concentrate, but his imagination got the better of him, and what brought him to the end had nothing to do with Chris.

When they were finished, Dave looked Chris in the eyes and began to speak.

"Shh," Chris said softly, looking back at him and touching his lips, "I know, Dave . . . trust me. Don't say anything. Just hold me until I fall asleep."

Dave did as Chris asked, but left as soon as he knew Chris wouldn't wake up. Before leaving the bedroom, he looked back and felt shame grip his so deeply that his vision skewed and he had to run away to escape from it.