Twenty Breems

Bluestreak

I catch up with Nightshade exactly where I expect to find her, which is right outside of her quarters, which makes me feel like this was a good choice to make. If I hadn't been able to find her, it would have been because she didn't want to be found, and not because I didn't know where to look for her. Mirage told me that besides himself, and Halogen, he thinks that I know just about as many of her hiding places as they do. I just know where to find her when she disappears from public sight; its really funny when she disappears on Red Alert's vid-watch cycle, because he freaks out and nearly blows fuses every time he can't get her pinpointed on one camera system or another...

But, oh, right, so I found her. But she doesn't look like she was too much in the mood to talk. That's fine, I figure, because any other time she never wanted to talk she always had listened. Even so, when she stands in the entry to her quarters looking like that, like the whole world has come crashing down upon her shoulders, and there isn't anyone else there to help her carry it, I really feel... bad. For once, my vocalizer stalls halfway through startup, and I hesitate before saying anything. I don't know what to say.

She turns slightly toward me, optics narrowed and suspicious. I open my hands and offer her a smile, my best one, the one she always said she liked because it made the sadness run away. But she doesn't have any sort of reaction to my smile, no indication that she remembers anything. I hazard the chance to glance into her quarters, and suddenly, my mouth starts running without the optimization of my brains.

"Is there something wrong with your quarters, Nights? We can have anything you want changed around, a different configuration on the recharge berth? Spike's really good at finding all sorts of human culture stuff if you want to change some of the po-"

"Everything is fine."

She cut me off. I stop short; my vocalizer cutting itself out naturally as the shock registers through my systems. She actually cut me off. She's never cut me off before; she's always been the one to let me ramble on, let me go on and on about whatever I came out of my mouth. The coward inside me, that little nagging voice that tells me I'm worthless and that's why the Decepticons never killed me that day... that mech that I hate to admit resides in myself... he's telling me that I should turn around and run away.

But, Nights needs me. That's the thought that drags my Spark back out of the darkness just in time to wedge myself into the entryway. Wheeljack toned down all the hydraulics on the door systems months ago, when he was scared that they'd crush one of the unwary humans. So its an easy thing these days to keep a door from closing. It doesn't even dent my armor. Nightshade had already entered, and she looks up from where she was inspecting a datapad near the back wall.

"Are you still here?" she growls at me. "Can you take the hint that I would like to be alone?"

"I really don't think alone is what you want to be right now," There. I try the honest tone, holding out both of my hands to her. "If you'd wanted to be alone, you would have vanished, like you always do. Just i poof /i , for however long you want to be gone. Boy, do I worry about you when you do that. But not as much as Halo; for such a happy guy he sure can get anxious about your moods." I pause, studying her lack of reaction. Astroseconds tick by, stretching out into silence. Fear itches beneath my armor, and I'm forced to hide the tremble of my hands by dropping them back to my sides, useless.

When she turns toward me once more, she's dropped every pretense of being nice. "If you do not leave within the next five breems, I willrip your vocalizer from your throat and crush it."

It'd be a lie if I said that she didn't scare me, because she terrifies me now. I take an instinctive step backward, and she turns her attention back to the datapad, apparently satisfied that I'm really going to leave. I hesitate more, feeling the chronometer tick the moments by. She either chooses to ignore me, or truthfully forgets that I am here, because she slowly turns her back on me.

The urge seizes me and I comply to those baser emotions before I even realize just what I'm doing. I run across the room, and desperately throw my arms around her from behind. I pin her arms to her side, nearly bending the two of us in half as I clamp down my grip. She fits neatly into my grip, just small enough that the lower half of my jaw rests atop the crown of her helm.

"Please, please, remember, Nightshade. I can't lose you, not after.. not now... not ever!" Babbling incoherently. The stress makes it happen, a constant stream of thought coming right out of my vocalizer, without any clarifying filters between thoughts and words. "You gotta remember that time that you beat Brawl senseless and forced Swindle to trade me for him... and that night you asked me to stay because I kept the ghosts away. You told me about the ghosts, remember? All those Spar--"

I feel her tense, half an astrosecond too late. Both her feet come up, her weight supported in my arms; with her feet against the wall, she shoves. Pushes me right over. I let go of her to try and catch myself, but I land hard on my aft, barely with enough time to get the first syllable of her name out of my vocalizer. I process what she's doing, but I refuse to comprehend it.

Jazz had once described her in this beautifully poetic way, saying that she was always like one of those human fireworks... so lovely to observe from a distance, but burning and painful when one ventures too close. And here I am... caught too close. She pivots in midair, as she drops delicately to one foot. The other leg swings out, catches the side of my helm so hard that it leaves my CPU scrambled and my audio receptors ringing. Just as quickly, she's shoving me hard in the chest, shouting in my face.

It takes a few moments for my audios to sort out static from her voice, but finally...

"How dare you presume to know me? What gives you the right to make blanket assumptions about my Spark, my profession, and my allegiance?" Her balled fists flicker with the light-form of energon; she's forming weapons out of them as she shouts in my face. "I have slain greater bots in their treads for lesser infra-"

She's cut off just like I was, as her bunk's entrance slides wide open under the authority of an override code. Sideswipe is the first to break the silence, giving off one of his rebel yells as he tackles Nights right off of me. I don't even register the two of them tussling in the corner, until Sunstreaker dives in to join his brother. The two of them get her pinned down on her knees, Sides knee planted on the back of her head to keep her immobile.

Halogen's helping me to my feet, checking me over for injuries. He's not looking at his partner. He's not looking at me. I swear Mirage was just standing in the doorway, but now he's gone too; replaced by Prowl's imposing figure. Halo gives me a helping hand down to the medbay, while the Twins get to drag poor Nightshade off to the brig. I can't even find words to describe how I feel... as I helplessly try to express myself to Halogen.

"I know. I know," he finally murmurs, even when I can't get a single word out. "You made it twenty breems before she snapped... that's longer than I've ever gone."