A/N-

Remember when i said these were probably all going to be pretty short posts?

well i lied. Sorry (not really)

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No words of wisdom today, just enjoy!

Disclaimer: non.(PSSST THAT'S FRENCH FOR NO)

EMILY

To say I was nervous on Sunday morning would be a severe understatement. I hadn't stopped thinking about Naomi since I saw her in the train station the previous evening, and unfortunately they weren't all pleasant thoughts.

I had spent the last six years of my life trying to piece my heart back together after Naomi shattered it, and for a while I thought I had moved on, I thought I was over her. But within three seconds of locking eyes with her I knew that wasn't true. I was still just as in love with her after all this time as I had been when we were teenagers. The problem was that I didn't know what to do about it.

I wanted her. More than I'd ever wanted anything in my life, but that didn't mean she would want me back. Or even admit it if she did.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear it of my thoughts and pulled a plain white shirt over my head. I checked myself over in the mirror, making sure there were no stains on my skinny jeans, before letting out a sigh and slipping into my converse. The nerves picked up again as I wondered if she would like my outfit. If she would think I still looked good. Actually, if she ever thought I looked good. I felt anger rising in me again as I thought back to the way she treated me in college. Fuck. What if she was still a cold bitch like she had the tendency to be back then? What if she led me on just to break my heart all over again?

No. I shook my head again. No she wouldn't do that. Naomi is an adult, I am an adult. I'm sure we're both mature enough to move beyond the past and start a new friendship. Yeah. Friendship. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Friendship would have to do. It was safe. Easy.

But Christ, I fucking missed her. I didn't even realise how much until I saw her peroxide blonde hair and her clear blue eyes. My god, her eyes. They were just as beautiful as I remembered, and it still felt like she could see straight into my soul when I looked into them.

"Emily!" My mum's voice travelled through the house, bringing me out of my head and back to reality, "The taxi is here for you!"

I gave myself a once over, grabbing a knit beanie and my favourite grey zip up before rushing down the stairs.

My mum stopped me at the bottom of the steps, smiling and looking proud. "Good luck," she said, leaning in and kissing my cheek. I rolled my eyes and gave her the best smile I could before walking past her and out the front door.

I loved my mum, I mean I had to, she was my mum. But she was also a bigoted bitch, and I would always hate that about her. I couldn't even tell her how excited I was about seeing Naomi again, or how nervous the blonde made me feel. If I did she'd pester me and look down at me for associating myself with that girl again. She didn't know that things ended badly between Naomi and I, but she did know that something did happen. And, knowing that, she genuinely believed Naomi was the reason I thought I was gay. I had to lie and tell her I was going to a job interview just to avoid her ridicule of my sexuality.

Even six years after I came out to her, my mum still refused to believe it was true. She insisted that it was a phase, and once I found the right guy I would stop all of the nonsense and be a normal happy twin like Katie. She continued to try to set me up with guys, and I continued to ignore her.

Don't get me wrong, I had tried for many years to convince her it wasn't a phase. I tried to bring girlfriends home, which she wouldn't allow. I tried to talk to her about the girl I thought I was in love with, but she brushed me off and told me I wasn't thinking straight. I told her that was exactly my point. Which she didn't take very well.

Eventually though, I just stopped trying to talk to her about my relationships at all, finding it easier to play along with her delusions, and she thankfully let up on the setups. She still brought a friend or coworker's son around every once in a while, and I would humour her and go out on a 'date' with them, but nothing more than that. My mum saw my reluctance to be in a relationship with any of those men as my fear of commitment, but really, it was her who was afraid of the truth.

I walked up to the front door or a rather nice house in one of the cleaner neighbourhoods in Bristol. I was twenty minutes early, and shaking like a leaf with nerves. I was just about to knock when I realised maybe showing up so prematurely wasn't a good idea, so I pulled my hat further down onto my head and turned to walk away. Just as I did, the door opened behind me to reveal Naomi standing there in leggings and a vest, her hair still damp and a toothbrush in her mouth. Somehow she still managed to take my breath away.

"You're early," She said, a slight smile forming on her face as she took the toothbrush out of her mouth.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, stepping back, "I can come back later."

"Don't be silly," she smiled fully and stepped to the side. I hesitated but she motioned for me to come in, so I walked past her into the house, "I've just got to finish getting ready, but make yourself at home."

"All right," I smiled, "thanks." She nodded her head and walked up the stairs. I hesitantly walked forward, examining what I could of the white hallway. It seemed modern, and ridiculously clean, but still felt homey. There were pictures of Ava in all stages of her life on the wall, some with Naomi, Cook, or Gina, but most of them just her. One in particular caught my eye. It was Naomi with Ava when she looked to be about two. They were sitting outdoors, Ava twirling in a white dress and Naomi watching from a meter or so away. The smile on her face was so genuine and filled with love that it made my heart swell in adoration.

"Who are you?" A small voice asked, I took my gaze from the picture on the wall and spotted Ava standing at the end of the hallway. She honestly had to be the most adorable little girl I had ever seen. Her light blonde hair fell just past her shoulders, her eyes were as blue as the sky, and her face carried nothing but innocence.

"I'm Emily," I smiled, she took a few hesitant steps toward me, her posture shy, "I'm a friend of your mum's."

"Do you know my daddy too?" She asked, coming even closer. I nodded my head and smiled.

"Yes I do," I crouched down to my level when she was within arms distance, "you are a very pretty girl Ava."

She looked shyly at her feet, the corners of her mouth tugging up, "My mummy tells me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world," she smiled proudly, "but she's my mum so she has to say that."

"She's right though," I smiled and a blush formed on the little girl's pale cheeks.

"You're very pretty too Emily," She said to me. I smiled at her and she returned it, her confidence growing with each second that passed.

"Thank you."

"Do you want to come see my room?" She asked suddenly, looking at me with excitement in her eyes.

"I would love to," I replied, standing up and taking her hand when she offered it to me. She led me up the stairs and into the first door on the right. The room we walked into was a huge contrast to the beige walls of the hallway. The walls inside were painted bright yellow and there were different coloured flowers decorating the wall behind the small bed. It was full of colour and exactly how I would imagine a younger Naomi to have her room decorated. "It's lovely," I smiled down at Ava as she let go of my hand. She walked over to the wardrobe and opened it before pulling out a book.

"This is my I-Spy book. My granny bought it for me." She handed me a rather thick book and I thumbed through the pages, "My mummy helps me with the words I don't know." She sat down on the bed and I did the same thing, opening to the page that was marked. She stared intently at the page, going from the words to the objects until she found what she was looking for and repeating the process. I helped her with the bigger words, but let her do all of the searching. She would squeal and point excitedly at the page every time she found one.

I wasn't sure what was taking Naomi so long, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. I was genuinely enjoying Ava's company. After a few minutes she was laid on her stomach, resting her elbows in my lap and searching the page intently, trying to find a rolling pin when Naomi finally walked in.

"Sorry I took so long," She smiled, I couldn't help but stare for a few moments. She was beautiful. Her hair was straight and a couple inches past her shoulders, and she had put on makeup, not a lot, but just enough to make her eyes pop even more than they already did. "Ava," Naomi said, giving her daughter a pointed stare.

"Sorry mummy," Ava mumbled as she reluctantly got up from my lap. She closed the book and set it on the bed and I looked at Naomi in confusion as the little girl walked out of the room.

"Sorry, I told her to stay in the sitting room."

"Don't apologise," I smiled as I stood up, "She's a lovely girl, and very smart."

"Too smart for her own good sometimes," Naomi smiled as we headed down the stairs. I followed her into the kitchen and she pulled two mugs out and poured hot coffee into them both. We sat down at the small table and sipped at our drinks in silence. It wasn't awkward, but it definitely wasn't comfortable either. "So Emily," Naomi finally spoke by the time I was halfway through my coffee, "how have you been?"

"Good I suppose," I shrugged, setting my cup down, "I finished college in Manchester then worked for two years to save up money and went traveling with my girlfriend for another two before moving in with Katie for a year, and now I'm here."

I could have sworn I saw a bit of disappointment cross her face when I said girlfriend, but she composed herself so quickly I couldn't know for sure.

"Oh, so you're in a relationship then?" She asked, I smirked internally, hearing the trepidation in her voice and knowing she was praying for me to say no.

"I was, we broke up about a year ago though, kind of just been living the single life since then."

She tried to mask her relief, but she couldn't hide the way her entire body relaxed at my words. It took almost all of my concentration to silence the choir going off in my head. "How's Katie doing then?" She asked, I was surprised at the genuine interest in her voice. The last I remember she absolutely hated Katie. And Katie wasn't too fond of her either.

"She's good," I smiled, "she runs a clothing store in Manchester and got engaged last year." Naomi raised her eyebrows and nodded her head, looking impressed, "What about you? What have you and everyone else been up to since we left?"

"It's quite boring actually. I got knocked up six months after you left, finished college and had Ava two months later. And ever since then I've pretty much been raising her and trying to get my feet on the ground. No way I could have done it without my mum and Cook though."

"So Cook's a good dad?"

"The best," She smiled down at her coffee before looking up at me, "I mean he made his mistakes, disappeared for a while when I was pregnant, but when Ava was three months old he came back and hasn't let either of us down since."

"I'm quite surprised to be honest. I never really pegged Cook as the father type."

"Me either," She laughed, "but once he met Ava he got his shit together, and he loves her to pieces."

"That's good to hear," I smiled, sipping my coffee again, "What about everyone else? They all still around?"

"For the most part," She sighed "Effy and Freddie started dating our last year of college, now they're living together happy as clams. JJ went to uni in London and last I heard he was still there and loved up with a girl. Cook still talks to him, but I haven't spoken to him in ages. And Panda and Thomas are living in America, both teaching in a school over there."

"You still talking to them?"

"Eff and Freds yeah, but not anyone else really."

I nodded my head and looked down at my hands, suddenly missing all the friends I'd made during that first year of college. I looked up at Naomi, and I know she was thinking back to that time as well. I found myself looking into her eyes, all of the feelings from college rushing back to me. I could still feel her soft lips on mind, smell the lavender and cotton scent of her skin, taste her body on my tongue. The gentle way she caressed my cheek and kissed my skin told me what she was too afraid to admit out loud. My heart clenched in my chest as my mind wandered back to that last day, when I was standing outside her house, begging her to come back to me. Begging her to be brave.

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, so I cleared my throat and looked away from her before I lost my self control.

"Emily," Naomi's voice was barely a whisper, but I knew exactly what she was about to say, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear it yet.

I shook my head and looked back at her, "Please, don't." She hesitated, but gave me a small nod before diverting her gaze to her hands.

"I've missed you," She said quietly after a few minutes of silence, so quietly I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.

I was about to respond when Ava's scream pierced through our silence. Naomi shot up, a look of panic and concern on her face.

"Ava?" She shouted, moving swiftly out of the kitchen. I followed her down the hall and into the sitting room. There was a giant pile of sheets and sofa cushions in the middle of the floor, "Ava?" Naomi said again, the pile of linens moved slightly.

"Mummy I'm stuck!" Ava's muffled voice called. We both moved over to the pile and started digging through it. Ava finally emerged from the bottom a few moments later, her hair messy and an apologetic smile on her face.

"Christ, I thought you were hurt," Naomi sighed in relief, pulling the small girl into her arms and repeatedly kissing the top of her head.

"I wanted to make a fort to play in with Emily," She smiled up at me and I automatically smiled back, "But then I fell down," She looked down guiltily at her feet.

"Sweetie I told you already, emily is mummy's friend and she doesn't want to be bothered okay?"

I looked over at Naomi as she spoke to her daughter, feeling bad for the disappointment on the little girl's face.

"I actually love forts," I piped in, Naomi gave me a look that clearly said I didn't have to do that, but I just winked at her and turned to Ava. "Maybe, if your mum doesn't mind, we can build a fort together?"

"Yeah!" She jumped up, wriggling out of Naomi's grasp and hopping over to me, "We can build it all the way to the moon and play games and eat sweets!" She grabbed onto my hand and began jumping up and down in excitement. I couldn't help but smile back at her and let out a laugh.

"Perfect," I smiled and hers grew even bigger.

She let go of my hand and walked over to her pile of fort making materials. She stared at it for a few seconds before bending down to pick up the smallest of the blankets, pulling it away from the rest with ease. When she tried for a larger one though, she struggled and ended up falling flat on her bum.

"Let me help you with that," I offered, walking over and separating the rest of the cushions and blankets without struggle. "You don't mind do you?" I asked Naomi, she smiled and shook her head.

"You two have fun, I'll go make some sandwiches for when you're done." I smiled up at her and she kissed Ava's head, whispering something in her ear as she did, before walking back toward the kitchen.

Ava and I got to work securing blankets to chairs and walls, using cushions as supports and forming all of it into a large tent like structure. I was probably having far too much fun with her, but I didn't care. She was a free spirited little girl and actually rather hilarious.

Naomi eventually came to join us, but it still took us over an hour to finish it. When it was done it was a work of art. Open and spacious inside, and it didn't feel as though it was going to collapse at any moment.

Ava and I sat inside when we were finished and Naomi fetched us sandwiches and lemonade, which the three of us ate together in the confines of our pillow castle. Naomi kept giving me amused, somewhat admirable glances, and I just smiled in return to each one of them.

I spent the entire day at her house. Ava fell asleep in the fort in the middle of the afternoon, and Naomi and I got the chance to just spend time together. It was nice being around her again, the small bit of awkwardness from the morning had faded, and I felt as though we were back in college again. I was at ease when I talked to her, I could be myself, and I knew she felt the same way, no matter how much she tried to fight against it.

When Ava woke up from her nap we migrated into the garden and spent the rest of the afternoon playing games and Naomi barbecued us some chicken for dinner. After a half hour of watching one of Ava's cartoons, she insisted I help Naomi read her a story before she went to bed.

I helped her pick out pyjamas and Naomi and I sat on either side of her in her bed, while she held the book in between us. It amazed me the hold she already had on me. I'd only just met her, but I already knew that if she asked me to go to the moon to get her some cheese I would.

She didn't fall asleep until we were a good ten pages into reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. As Naomi set down the book and we both quietly made our way out of Ava's room I realised just how tired I had become. What was supposed to be a cup of coffee to catch up had turned into an entire day of playing and having fun, and I was exhausted.

"I should probably get heading home," I said reluctantly as we made our way down the stairs.

"I'm really glad you came over," She replied, following me to the door. We stopped just in front of it and turned to face each other. My heart began to flutter in my chest from her close proximity. I had a ridiculously strong urge to wrap my arms around her and kiss away the pain from being apart for so long. I crossed my arms over my chest in order to stop myself from doing that.

"I had a wonderful time," She finally said, I lifted my eyes from where I had been involuntarily staring at her pink lips.

"Me too," I smiled at her. I felt warmth in my stomach when the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. I couldn't help myself from letting my eyes wander down to her lips again. It took all my concentration not to lick my own.

I found myself stepping toward her, against my better judgement, and I lifted my hand to her face, brushing my thumb softly against her cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"We should do dinner," Naomi said, abruptly leaning away from me. My heart ached at the rejection, but the apologetic look in her eyes helped to lessen it, "Just the two of us."

I nodded my head, crossing my arms back over my chest to once again try and keep my hands to myself, "Yeah, whenever you'd like."

She smiled and stepped towards me again, hesitantly pulling me into a gentle embrace. I wrapped my arms around her waist, relishing in the feel of her body against mine. We stood like that for a few moments, I honestly could have stayed like that forever, but eventually Naomi pulled away. "I'll see you soon." She smiled and opened the door for me. I nodded, not trusting my voice, and stepped outside. We both smiled once more before she closed the door behind me.

I breathed in the fresh air, trying to wrap my head around all of the things I was feeling. I didn't know much about this new Naomi. I didn't know if she still feared becoming attached to people, though seeing how she was with Ava made me think she'd at least gotten over that a little. I still didn't know if that would make a difference with me.

She had denied her feelings for me in college out loud more than once. But the night we spent together, our last night, still lingered in my mind. She had told me in so many wordless ways how much she loved me. I could feel it in the way that she caressed my cheek. How she gently brushed my hair out of my eyes, how the entire time she made sure I was okay. I could feel her need for me in the way that she kissed me and held me close, keeping me warm in her embrace.

I didn't know if she'd ever tell me the truth about how she felt that day, even if she didn't feel it anymore. I wasn't going to give up this time though. I already knew nobody could make me feel as at peace as Naomi did. Nobody's hand fit as perfectly in mine as hers did, nobody could make my heart jump like she could.

I wanted to be over her. I wanted to be able to be her friend again, especially if she still refused to admit that we'd once had something special. But as I walked away from her house, wanting nothing more than to run back inside and kiss her, I knew that I could never truly be over her. Nobody would ever fit me as perfectly as she did. Nobody would ever complete me like she did, no matter how hard they tried.

Sooo little bit more insight into Emily's mind and feelings and such.

and of course a little bit of Ava. Tell me guys, do you want a lot of her? or would you rather me focus completely on Naomily and just have her in the background?

Also, tell me what you thought of the chapter, and the whole story really. I can't know if you guys like it unless you tell me!

See you Monday!