As horrified as Remus had been to have been walked in on snogging Claire, by her brother, no less, he couldn't get the thought of her taste, of her touch, off his mind. Their stolen moments in the mornings had become his favorite part of the day, and he often spent all of the rest of the day thinking about it.
Sirius hadn't seemed upset, Remus reasoned, merely surprised. Likely, Sirius would merely have a talk with Claire, decide how she felt about things, and then either give his blessing or not. But Sirius had already given his blessing, hadn't he? In telling Remus to pursue Claire, there was an obvious blessing, or at least an implicit one.
But was pursing Claire the right thing to do? It certainly felt right, holding her against the wall, his tongue down her throat, her perfect hands against his chest… But things that felt right weren't always good. After all, once a month his body felt right in devouring weak and innocent creatures, especially humans… right wasn't always right.
How had he even allowed himself to get to this point? She had lured him into positions he couldn't turn down, teased him mercilessly until his will was gone, and then when she kissed him… it simply wasn't fair. Remus ought to have said no, to have gone about his desires in a proper, measured fashion, but Claire… she was just too much. She knew it, too. She knew she was too beautiful, too sensual, too enticing for her own good. Sirius and Claire had that in common.
It hadn't escaped his notice, however, the scars that lined her body. She didn't have the excuse he did of lycanthropy. He knew she typically used glamour to cover up the thing lines, the deep scars, but when she was with him, for some reason, she neglected them. He was able to see every former gash, slice… When Sirius said they had lived in hell, Remus had never quite realized just how bad it had been, especially for Claire. He knew she wasn't likely to explain, but it made him want her more, want to hold and protect her from the world. Especially, from her father.
It was odd, as Remus thought back, never had Claire or Sirius ever mentioned their father proliferating any sort of punishment or abuse. Their mother, certainly, and in Claire's case, even Regulus was guilty of some of the horrible things that had happened. But their father… he had been mysteriously absent from the tales. Yet on platform nine and three-quarters, Claire had looked at her father with such fear in her eyes that Remus was sure there must have been something…
Remus's mind ran back to the view of her body… and the deep-looking scars on her thighs. They were clearly caused by some sort of Dark Magic… but Remus couldn't think of how they got there. From what Sirius said, it wasn't their mother's style, and Remus wasn't fairly certain Regulus wouldn't have had access to that part of her body… so that left… her father.
When the significance of what might have and probably did happen, the wolf reared up inside Remus and wanted to tear her father apart, to strangle the man with his own intestines.
He went about his day, watching Claire and unable to help but think that she looked even more beautiful than usual, and that it just wasn't fair. Remus was finding it more and more difficult to act as though everything in his life was normal and that he didn't want to toss Claire across the nearest desk and ravage her. The wolf purred at the thought.
That night at dinner, Remus ended up sitting next to Claire, which was all Sirius's fault and completely unfair. Every time his leg accidently rubbed against hers, he wanted to moan, and when he passed the salt down to Lily he turned and caught a whiff of Claire's scent. For a moment, he lost track of everything except her scent, and he wanted to reach out and draw her in closer to him. When James cleared his throat after Remus didn't answer a question James had posed, Remus was called back into the real world, but he didn't miss Sirius's knowing smirk.
Maybe Remus had a prayer… but would Claire even want him, or was she just messing around when she had made her advances? After all, she and her brother had a lot in common… was he just a conquest for the fun of things? If that was the case, Remus found he hardly even minded. If it meant he could kiss her again, he would do just about anything.
Remus found himself pacing the common room late into the night, after his patrol, trying to get his mind off of Claire, who he was sure was upstairs at that very moment, lying in her brother's arms and sleeping like a beautiful, peaceful angel. If he went upstairs, he would have to keep himself from jumping into that bed with them.
But before he could get himself put together, he saw a figure coming down the stairs. He watched her coming closer, her dressing gown falling off her shoulder to reveal a rather skimpy nightie. Knowing exactly what underneath that nightie, Remus couldn't help but shiver slightly as she approached. In the dying firelight, he could barely see her face, but he could tell she was watching him.
"I was waiting for you to come upstairs," she whispered, "but you never came. I got worried."
"I… I was just thinking."
It wasn't exactly a lie, but she didn't seem to think anything of it. Instead, she took him by the hand and led him to the couch. Sitting beside her and not doing anything felt wrong, almost unfair, but he thought it was even worse that her small, wonderful fingers were massaging his hand.
"I need to tell you something," she sighed. "Something that Sirius said I need to talk about. I – I thought he was wrong, but then I talked to Audrey, and he was right, of course. I felt a lot better. But… I need to tell you things, if you'll listen."
"Of course," he whispered, trying to remember everything Sirius had taught him about wooing girls, more specifically Claire.
"My dad… liked to hear me scream," she whispered. "It was one of his favorite things, actually, he said so several times. S-sometimes, he would come into my room at night and… and… hurt me. And he would make me scream, and make me do things I didn't want to do, and he would hit me and cut me, and one night… the night we ran away, he used Dark Magic and… I've never hurt so badly before in my life."
He could tell she was crying and without even thinking about it he wrapped his arms around her. She didn't have to say what had happened. Remus knew. Orion Black had raped his sixteen-year-old daughter. She sobbed into his chest for twenty minutes.
"I love you," he whispered as she started to calm down at bit.
"Remus…"
"No," he said. "I mean it. I'm not saying it because I think it's what you need or want to hear. I've been in love with you for a long time and I just wasn't willing to admit it to myself because I didn't think I deserved you. And I don't. But I love you so much, Claire, and if I can't have you and love you and protect you I think I'll burst. I understand if you don't feel anything for me, but I need you to know how much I wish you'd be mine. Well," he admitted sheepishly, "that and I sort of made a deal that I'd ask you out if Sirius helped me with talking to you. Clearly not much of it sank in."
"No," she whispered. "No, Remus, you've done beautifully." She gave a watery sort of laugh and sighed, "Obviously I'm not ready to say things like 'love', but I'm incredibly drawn to you. And the more I try to avoid you and pretend there's nothing there… well, the more I realize I need you."
She didn't say another word. She didn't need to, but she couldn't have even if she'd wanted to because Remus cut off further words with his mouth, pulling her into a sweet but lingering kiss. He didn't want to scare her because he knew she needed space and he knew Sirius would have stabbed him if he'd tried, but he poured as much of his love and passion into that sweet, chaste kiss as possible. They pulled apart and she rested her forehead on his, sighing heavily.
"Can I call you mine?" he sighed, not sure if he was moving too fast, but needing to know. "I don't want anyone else to think they have a right–"
"Shh," she muttered, pressing a finger against his lips. "You've got nothing to worry about, Remus. I'm yours."
At first, nobody noticed the difference between the pair except for Audrey and Sirius, but Claire didn't waste time moving from secret snogs and holding hands under the table at meals to kissing him lightly in public and holding his hand in the corridors. And Remus felt like king of the world.
Boys were jealous of him, which was a rare feeling, and Regulus Black was actually glaring viciously at Remus in the corridors. The Marauders were pleased and proud, of course. Remus and Claire had taken to curling up on the couch after his rounds at night and telling stories, and they often fell asleep there in the common room. He could find her from nearly anywhere in the castle just by following her scent, and he spent most of his day thinking about her. They still hadn't gotten past kissing, but Remus didn't mind. The fact that she was his was all he needed in that moment to make everything perfect between them.
"Have you noticed something?" Claire asked one night, nuzzling his neck sweetly.
"I've noticed a great many things," he said with a bit of a smirk. "What in particular?"
"Well, Audrey," Claire muttered against his skin, kissing it gently. "I think she might have a crush on someone…"
"Oh?" Remus muttered, moaning slightly as she nibbled his skin. "On who?"
"You haven't noticed?" she gasped, stopping her ministrations and looking him in the eye. He sighed.
"No, I have," he groaned, "just wanted to know if you noticed the same thing I noticed."
She glowered at him, but he wiped that off her face with a deep kiss, which she responded to immediately. Of course, they had both realized that Audrey had a crush on Sirius, but to be realistic, every girl but Claire and Lily seemed to have a crush on Sirius. Remus wasn't sure why this was suddenly big information. Perhaps Claire was of the impression that they ought to find some way of putting the pair together?
"Remus," she sighed against his mouth, rolling on top of him and burrowing her hands up his shirt. She moaned deeply into his mouth, the vibration making him dizzy with pleasure. How had he ever gotten so lucky?
He had an urge to role her over and hover over her as he explored her neck, and maybe a bit lower that time, but he couldn't bring himself to push her like that, not yet. Someday he wanted to move forward, but that day couldn't be too soon. Sirius would skin him alive, and the damage he could do to Claire… well, Remus wouldn't be able to live with himself.
For a while, they were happy like that, very few changes in their lives except their constant closeness. By the first of October, the coupling of Remus Lupin and Claire Black was such old news that nobody even buzzed about whether they were going to Hogsmeade together. It was expected.
In a way, this was a relief to Remus that people had stopped staring at him and whispering. Despite being a Marauder, he'd never attracted the attention Sirius and James had, and he was perfectly happy with that. Claire, on the other hand, was in solid competition with Lily for the most-talked-about female in school, not any less so because of whom her brother was, and her love life was fodder for all of the "best" gossip. She seemed to have hardly noticed when their relationship had been all anyone could talk about, and so noticed even less that people had stopped discussing them.
Hogsmeade would typically be a time for them to all be together, Claire and Audrey and the Marauders, keeping James from stalking Lily, teasing Sirius when he went off to meet and shag whatever girl he'd agreed to meet that week, and pumping themselves so full of sweets they all had stomachaches by nightfall. Keeping James from stalking Lily was still on the docket, however Sirius had no date (on Claire's request), and instead Remus and Claire would be spending time alone together after lunch. Remus's heart raced as they walked down to the village, terrified it wouldn't be good enough for her.
They spent much of the morning at Zonko's, which was one of Claire's and Sirius's favorite places in the world. Remus felt himself being dragged around the shop by his hand, sighing as she told him why some products were good, and why others weren't, and whether she would be able to duplicate or improve upon them. Sometimes he wondered where she learned all the spells she mentioned when she chattered on about her plans, but he supposed she did well in class, so she must study sometime.
After Zonko's, they all went to Honeydukes, gathering up chocolate like there was no tomorrow. This was one thing Remus and Claire had always been kindred spirits about. They were absolute chocolate fanatics. Together they got far more chocolate than any one person should eat in a year and she insisted on feeding him lovingly from a bar of Honeydukes Best that she'd gotten. Remus couldn't understand how he'd gotten so lucky, being tenderly fed chocolate by the most beautiful girl in the world, but he wasn't about to question it and lose her. She'd find out she deserved better soon enough and until then he wanted as much of her as he could get.
Then the group made their way to the Three Broomsticks for lunch, Claire taking a seat on Remus's lap as Sirius and James went to get drinks for the group.
"What are you going to do after lunch, Remus?" Peter asked as they waited. "Madam Pudifoot's?"
"No way in hell," Claire snarled. "I'm allergic to cherubs."
Remus snorted with laughter as Peter blushed and murmured his apologies about how he had forgotten that particular fabricated allergy.
Claire had a lot of fabricated allergies. From cherubs to Slytherins to Charms essays, her allergies were many and varied. The boys did their best to keep her away from her many fabricated allergies, because the reactions usually were violent and included screaming, clawing, and random curse-casting.
"I want to keep it a surprise," Remus said, kissing Claire swiftly before she could argue that she was allergic to surprises, too. He knew this, but he also knew that that allergy only counted when she wasn't happy with the surprise. He hoped, certainly, that she would be happy with the only he had planned.
Sirius and James started passing around the butterbeer, leaning back in their own chairs.
"Poor Audrey," James said teasingly, pulling playfully on a lock of his sister's hair. "Stuck with us boys when dear Claire is off on her date. Whatever are you going to do, you poor, sweet thing?"
Audrey pouted at him, looking even more pathetic, but Remus didn't miss how her hazel eyes darted toward Sirius longingly. Maybe… maybe Claire was right. Maybe they would be good together, but why would Sirius ever look at Audrey? He had all of the most beautiful girls in school (except Lily and Claire) practically throwing themselves at him on a daily basis.
And yet, Remus tried thinking back, Sirius always liked to tease Audrey, enjoyed stealing her things and pulling her hair. He got particularly angry at girls who pretended to befriend Audrey in an attempt to get closer to the Marauders, more so than with his sister, although Remus had always attributed that to Audrey not realizing that she was being used. Perhaps Claire was right. Perhaps there was something there that Sirius just didn't realize yet.
"She'll be just fine," Claire said. "You boys will take good care of her, and she'll enjoy herself immensely and if I hear otherwise, there will be hell to pay, yes, Padfoot?"
Sirius barked with laughter.
"Why are you pointing fingers at me, baby?"
"Because," she said sternly, "Peter is always considerate and James treats Audrey incredibly well. But you're impulsive and you like to tease her. Don't tease her today, is that understood?"
Sirius gave her a quizzical look as if he had no idea what she was talking about, teasing Audrey, but he nodded and said of course. The six of them ate their lunches and downed their butterbeer, happily and merrily talking about their favorite events of the morning, including the nose-biting teacup that had attacked Peter at Zonko's.
As soon as they finished eating, Remus could feel his hands shaking violently as the clutched for Claire's. They were going to be spending time together. Alone. On a date. It was his first date, and although he'd gotten a bit of advice from Sirius and Lily for planning it, he was terrified that it would be all wrong and Claire would hate it. Of course, she would be too nice to say so, but that was what made it even more terrifying.
"Come on," he said in her ear when he finally got his nerves under control. "Let's go."