Song: Crying In The Rain
Artist: The Everly Brothers
Written By: Carole King, Howard Greenfield
Album: Crying in the Rain (Single)
Season: Sailor Moon R
Published: 07-08-05
Words: 2,042
Summary: Set about a month after Mamoru breaks up with Usagi.
Disclaimer: I don't claim or own any rights or profits from this song or Sailor Moon.
Thunder rumbled in the distance as Mamoru watched from his balcony. Blue violet bolts scattered across the sky like veins and capillaries, pulsing their tangled route in the heavens.
"Finally..." he whispered to the emptiness in his room and made his way down stairs.
Usagi sat at her desk, tapping the back of her pencil on her desk idly. She propped her head on her hand and rested her elbow lazily on the desk. A faint rumble could be heard in the distance and Usagi winced. She looked up and out the window, immediately knowing that the rain was coming. Usagi wasn't usually a fan of thunder, lightning or even rain, in fact, she was terrified of thunder, but if the rain meant relieving herself of the pressure inside her heart, then by all means, she would run out there the second she had the chance.
Usagi leaned over her balcony and sure enough, she detected the distant smell of rain as she watched rolling dark, gray clouds taking over the sky. She shuddered slightly, the clouds were rolling in fast and she knew that they would be here in a few minutes. She hastily slipped on her sneakers and tip-toed out of the house.
'It's about time...' Usagi thought to herself as she walked down the empty footpath. It was as if everyone knew that the storm was coming and began to seek refuge under shelter. Usagi didn't really care. She preferred it when no one was around. There would be no one looking at her strangely, or ask her if she needed any help. No one to bother her. She would be left in peace. A large drop of water fell from the sky and she looked up and smiled wearily at the dark gray clouds above her head. Usagi let out a sigh of relief as she waited for the clouds to rain heavier, dumping rain on her head before she would let herself go.
I'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All the sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain
Yes, it was true, Usagi always let herself go in the rain. It was never at school or at home, she was scared that someone would see her and start fussing all over her. Attention was the last thing that she wanted and needed. All she wanted was to be alone right now, to let out all her tears. The rain was what she was waiting for. It would comfort her and reflect the darkness and coldness within her heart. Soon, the rain would mingle with her tears and hopefully no one would notice that she was out here to cry.
Mamoru walked around aimlessly in the park, waiting for the rain to come. 'Hurry up!' his mind screamed as he sat down on the park bench. A drop of water splashed on his hand, and another, and another, until the clouds began to pour out their contents across the streets of Tokyo. Mamoru just sat there, motionless on the bench as the rain soaked through his clothes and drenched him head to toe. Mamoru felt the pressure build inside him and knew that it was safe to let it out.
If I wait for cloudy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you so
Though the heart aches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain
Mamoru too came outside when the rain gave its signal to fall and yes, he was out here for the same reason. To cry. Sure, he had the isolation of his apartment, but it just wasn't the same. He found it easier to release his emotions in the rain. Mamoru finally decided to stand up and get a good soaking. He walked around the park with tears trickling down from his eyes. They mingled with the rain drops that also ran down his face. His dark hair dripped from the deluge and matted down to his forehead. His clothes stuck to him and made him feel heavy but the weight was nothing compared to the heaviness he had been feeling in his heart for the past month or so.
Mamoru walked down the street. There were no cars were in sight, so he impulsively decided to walk down the middle of the road. If a car came, then so be it. 'I would rather die a quick death than live forever without my Usako by my side.' Mamoru irrationally thought to himself as he followed the lines painted on the middle of the road. 'At least she would get some closure.'
Raindrops falling from heaven
They could never wash away my memories
Since we're nottogether
I look for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see.
Usagi's lips were blue from the cold harsh wet drops but she couldn't feel a thing. She was too numb from the cold and her broken heart to feel anything else. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as a strong gust of wind made Usagi momentarily lose her balance and stumble to the ground in loud cries. The memories of her and her Mamo-chan being together tore her apart but there was nothing she could do. She could only wait, watch and hope. Yes, hope. She hoped every day that he would come back, but as the days passed, her hope began to fade and now, she was so close to losing faith in herself. Why did it happen? Why didn't he love her anymore? If they were both destined, then why did he no longer want to be with her?
Someday when my crying's done
I'm going to wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool, but till then darling you'll
Never see me complaining
I'll do my crying in the rain
Usagi sat on the footpath, her legs sprawled in front of her as she cried. The pain tore through her heart and through her soul. It was unbearable.
'Does he even know what he's doing to me?' Usagi thought to herself 'Does he even care about the pain I'm feeling?' The young teenager decided to stand up and continue walking, just in case anyone saw her sitting in the downpour and took pity on her. She rubbed her arms with her freezing cold hands and remembered what it was like to be in Mamoru's warm embrace. She remembered what it was like to never feel the cold. All she would have to do is think of him and her heart would fill with joy and love. With thoughts of their love keeping the flame within her heart lit, her whole body would radiate warmth. But not anymore. Now, all she could ever feel was the harsh coldness of his words and the rain that soaked her to the bone.
Since we're not together
I look for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see.
Usagi wondered if she would ever get out of the rain. She wondered if she would ever have the strength to get on with her life and get over Mamoru, but the pain still killed her. It cut her deeply every time she thought about him, so to sooth her soul, she silently walked through the rain all alone.
Mamoru sighed as the rain intensified. 'I wonder what she's doing right now. Is she thinking of me?' He thought to himself. Memories of how happy they once were drifted in and out of his mind. Slowly, he walked down the empty street and sighed once more. It was as if life was purposely trying to poison him, slowly, painfully, purposely taking away everyone he cared about. Were the Gods enjoying this sick twisted game that they were playing on him? ' I miss you so much, Usako. I wish you could know that' Mamoru fought back the hot tears for a moment before he relinquished all control, and they began to fall once again.
Someday when my crying's done
I'm going to wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool but till then darling you'll
Never see me complain
Mamoru walked around, defeated as he tried to look through the rain. To his surprise, he saw the familiar figure of a young woman, with her back towards him. Her golden hair reached down to her knees and was plastered all over her body. She was walking ever so slowly in the rain. He noticed her unique hairstyle and immediately knew who it was. His heart skipped a beat and in that moment, it decided to seize control over his head.
"Usagi..." Mamoru's voice strained. "Usagi..." he repeated, quickening his pace to catch up to her. "Usa..." He called out, his voice cracked once again. "USAKO..." Mamoru's voice was now strong, and it echoed down the street amongst the rain. Usagi immediately turned around and her eyes fell upon the tall wet man, running towards her with his arms wide open. Usagi rubbed her eyes in disbelief, camouflaged tears trickling from her eyes. It couldn't be, could it? Her heart fluttered within her chest, but her legs wouldn't move. She just couldn't allow herself to believe it was him.
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
Mamoru enveloped the frail blonde in his strong arms, holding her tightly to his chest. All the water and wind couldn't change the way they both felt. They were both warm with love as they held each other.
"Mamo-chan..." Usagi whispered into his chest as they held each other tightly.
"Usako..." Mamoru murmured into her hair before pulling away, with tears in his eyes. "Usako...what are you doing here in the rain? You're soaking wet! You could get sick..." The dark haired man brushed the wet strands of hair away from Usagi's eyes. She silently looked up at him with tears still in her eyes. "Usa... you've been crying." Mamoru noticed, looking at her puffy blood-shot eyes.
"So have you, Mamo-chan." Usagi responded before she buried herself deep within Mamoru's embrace. "Please tell me this isn't a dream."
I know where to hide my eyes
Crying, crying, crying
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
"Usa...there's so much I need to tell you. There's so much to be said-" Mamoru whispered as the rain began to die down.
"Mamo-chan?" Usagi looked up at the man in her arms. A look of confusion reflected within her eyes.
"Yes, Usako?" Mamoru looked down at the petite blonde. He knew just how overwhelming and confusing this whole situation must have seemed, but he didn't care. She was in his arms once more and that was all that mattered for now. He watched as Usagi looked about her and shook her head. The confused look in her eyes was replaced by warmth and she smiled the first smile she had made in weeks.
"I love you, Mamo-chan." She whispered tearfully. "I don't care if this is just a dream. I love you, and I wanted you to know that." Mamoru stared into Usagi's eyes.
"I love you too Usako. I love you very much. I love you, I love you, I love you… and a thousand times more... I love you..." Mamoru knew the difference between the rain and Usagi's tears and brushed her tears away with his thumb. "I'm so sorry." He murmured, gazing deeply into her eyes, which lit up as he spoke. "There's so much I need to tell you..." Mamoru repeated.
"I know..." Usagi nodded. "Tell me later..." They stood there in the rain simply holding each other, too afraid to move for fear of losing one another again. New hot tears stung Usagi's eyes, but they were different, these tears were tears of joy. The rain continued to fall from the heavens, drenching them both, but it was OK, because this time they were together as they did their crying in the rain.
Fin.