AN: This was a monster. I really need to stop writing so much. Same 'verse as the other stories. Takes place from the wedding that never was and onwards until the summer. Since it's AU, I also decided to keep Finn alive because despite how horrible he is as a character sometimes, I don't think I'll be able to let him go. I also noticed that a lot of my stories have people catching people in the middle of sex. I swear that's not a kink of mine.
Summary: Caught. They think they have this whole friends with benefits/secret lovers thing down pat and hidden away from the rest of the world. For the most part they do, except for all the times they were caught by various members of New and Old Directions.
She wakes up with a headache and some boy named Ryder, but instead of shuffling through the awkward morning after talk, he invites her out to breakfast so they can 'hang.' The boy is sweet, really, but ever since she settled in LA and started blossoming into the grown (fine) ass woman she knows she could be, Mercedes Jones does not settle for less. Unfortunately, boys from Lima, Ohio fall under that lesser category.
She agrees anyway, because it's nearing noon and she should probably cleanse herself from last night.
And boy, was it a long night.
It's already a long day because the first couple she runs into after leaving her hotel room is Klaine - also known as Kurt and that other white boy that trails behind him like an obedient puppy. She gives them a raised eyebrow because, really? Really? At least they upgraded from a stanky car into an even stankier hotel room.
Klaine passes by her with embarrassed smiles (damn right they should be) and for a second it looked like Ryder and Blaine were about to stop and bro-talk, but she quickly drags her boy away before Blaine could break out into song. In her haste to escape the unwanted solo, she crosses a corner and bumps into the back of Artie's wheelchair.
She glances from him (shirt un-tuck, hair amuck) to his female companion (huge boobs trying to escape a dress that hasn't even been properly zipped up). Mercedes shares a look with Artie, silently trading much respect, before they nod at each other and leave in opposite directions.
They're near the elevator when Ryder stops her, his face even paler than normal, and whispers, "Can we take the next ride down?"
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why; Mercedes has eyes, she can see the back of Marley and Puck Jr. entering the elevator. Mercedes also has a brain and heart, so she understands where Ryder is coming from. Young love can be such a bitch.
She agrees to take the next ride down, and they stand there for an awkward moment as the elevator closes and down goes Ryder's heart. She wants to voice out how there's plenty of fishes in the sea when all of a sudden, a wild Finn Hudson appears.
"Where's Rachel?" he immediate demands, because her life must revolve around Rachel enough to know where that 5 foot diva is 24/7.
"Apparently not with you," she shoots back, staring him down. She takes a small pleasure in knowing Rachel totally dined-and-dashed on the boy, if she was even with him to begin with.
"Someone told me she came to this hotel last night."
"And that has anything to do with me, how?"
Finn's face contorts into an expression akin to a toddler that has to poop really badly. He takes one look at her and Ryder before storming off to the elevator, kicking a nearby potted plant in the process.
"This sheet cray," she mumbles, rolling her eyes. She stops Ryder from getting in with Finn, because she is so not going to be stuck in an elevator listening to Finn bemoan Rachel. That means they'll have to wait some more for the next ride down, but oh well, it's not like this day can get any worst.
She might have spoken too soon, because a minute later something down the hall to her right catches her attention.
Or someone. Or some people.
Either way, it's two females wearing similar color dresses exiting a room, and she swears she's seen that hideous glitter throw-up jacket befo–
"Holy Jesus, Mary Mother of Christ," Mercedes nearly shouts.
"Huh? What?" Ryder asks.
She puts a hand to his mouth and shoves him into an alcove in the hallway. His eyes bulge out and he looks startled, as if she's about to pull a Tina Cohen-Chang on him, but Mercedes is too wrapped up in the happenings down the hallway to care.
She peaks her head out and dares to double-check, to make sure her eyes aren't deceiving her, to see that Hell hasn't opened up and swallowed them whole, to be 100 percent sure that it was indeed Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray leaving a hotel room wrapped up in each other's arms and….
And…
Kissing.
She has to squint because no way – ok, yes way. Totally way. It is definitely Quinn that's sucking onto Rachel's neck, and Rachel that's grabbing a handful of Quinn's ass.
They're actually giggling. Those two hos are actually giggling. Then Rachel is shoving Quinn away and loudly saying, "Ok, ok, you have to stop. Someone's going to come by and catch us. How about you just stay back in the room and I'll go get us some food?"
Then Quinn is whining, "Nooo. What are the chances of someone we know staying in the same hotel on the same floor as us? I like this."
Then Rachel is running a hand through Quinn's wanky hair, "I know you do," (Ew, Mercedes think), "But…you know how much faster it'll be if I get the food? I'm tiny and can maneuver around anything I put my mind to. Plus, I think no one would try and talk to me anyways."
"I don't mind your mouth at all, especially when you do that thing."
Why God, why, Mercedes thinks before she tries to zone out of their conversation. She does not need to hear them speak like that; she's never heard them speak like that, not even to their past boyfriends.
She had no idea they were even a thing.
She's so busy trying to wrap her mind around the logistics of it all that she almost misses the clank of Rachel's heels coming their way. She quickly flips her position with Ryder so that he's blocking her, his back to the outside. She hisses out a, "Hide us!" and pretends they're making out to throw off the scent that she's been spying.
It works because Rachel continues on her merry way, head lowered in incognito but definitely not in embarrassment. Mercedes can't believe how lucky Rachel and Quinn were because a few minutes earlier and they would have gotten Finn instead of her and Ryder.
It all sinks in the moment Rachel's gone.
Ryder has to help her from hyperventilating, and although this is gossip too good to be true, she doesn't tell him about Quinn and Rachel when he asks what happened. Maybe it's part of the growing up thing and minding her own business thing.
However, that doesn't stop her from immediately calling up and spilling the beans to her best friend.
Ever since Mercedes told him the big gossip, Kurt has been keeping a keen eye on Rachel. He hasn't told anyone yet, not even Santana or his own brother, because he's pretty sure Mercedes was either still drunk or hallucinating, and because he doesn't want to jump to conclusion and get lectured on by Rachel. Come on, common sense says Mercedes had been mistaken. It's Rachel and Quinn!
Last he heard, Rachel still wasn't over the Finn thing and Quinn wasn't over the whole penis thing. Both things had applied at the wedding because he saw Rachel's longing looks for Finn and Quinn eyeing up some 40 year old that could have – should have – been Mr. Schue's bestman instead of Kurt's 19-year-old stepbrother.
He saw all of that, and he definitely didn't see Quinn and Rachel hook up so he's going to ignore it for now. Sort of like how he ignored Mercedes and Ryder, Puck and his jailbait, and finally, Tina and her stank-eye.
Rachel's his BFF, she'd tell him if she was hooking up with someone behind his (brother's) back, right? Friends don't keep that sort of secrets from each other.
Still, he's going to keep an extra eye on Rachel just in case. She has been on her phone more than usual, and most of the time she's texting with that little smile on her face that used to be reserved for Finn. When she's actually speaking on the phone, it's either late at night or far away from him and Santana so they can't hear. He knows it's not Brody she's talking to because that douche has been out of the picture for a while. Kurt doesn't want to pry, but that's like dangling an Alexander McQueen in his face and expecting him not to go Tina Cohen-Chang on it.
One night, after coming home from one of Adam's spiritual bonding session, he sees Rachel outside on their fire escape (and she hates that place, because she's afraid she might slip through the railings and fall to her unprecedented demise and she doesn't trust him or Santana to do justice on her biography) and instead of sneaking up on her, he hangs back by the window. She's talking softly on the phone, but he's close enough to get his eavesdropping on. Mercedes would be proud.
"…I know people think it's crazy, but all the evidence is there. They're constantly at each other's side, always touching, always referring to one another, and you don't hear them talk about their men the same way they talk about each other..."
Even on the phone, Rachel doesn't allow a word in. The other person doesn't seem that bothered though, allowing Rachel to dominate the conversation. He takes a quick look around the apartment, making sure Santana or her lady of week isn't around, before pressing his ears closer to the window.
"…So that's why I believe Oprah and Gayle are in a secret relationship. Not like there's anything wrong with being in a secret relationship. Maybe they just want privacy, you know, because quite frankly their sexualities are not anyone else's business. It's sort of like Santana and Brittany before they came out. You must think I'm rambling, don't you?"
This is odd, Kurt thinks. Rachel sounds nervous and a little bit worried, so is this a serious conversation masked underneath Oprah's open secret? He goes through a list of people Rachel could be talking to because, honestly, with how Jerry Springer-esque the Glee Club is, she could be talking to anyone.
"...I don't think anyone have the right to push Oprah out of the closet. If she's happy with her current disposition, so then let it be. Knowing what sort of industry she's in, maybe it is a good thing she and Gayle are on the downlow..."
Quietness. Then a giggle. What? Kurt frowns, daring to sneak a look outside. Rachel sits against the railing, playing with one of her potted vegetable plant and fighting a stupid, almost lovesick grin. It's a sight he never thought he'd see after the whole Finn and Brody mess.
Oh my god, what if she's talking to Finn?
"…No…No…I understand...I have no idea why we're talking about Oprah Winfrey either." Her smile drops, eyes off in the distance. She suddenly gets serious. "I think we should meet up sometime this week. You can come here, or I can go there. But for now, you'll just have to make due with my beautiful voice."
Talk about conceited. Kurt rolls his eyes, thinking that's the end of that interesting phone call until he hears Rachel's voice dip into to a lower level he thought he'll never have to hear.
"…I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work," she says. "…I'm outside right now, so think winter wear and layers of clothing...As tempting as your proposal is, I'll have to go indoors and under my covers. I wouldn't want a stray pedestrian to walk by and get an eyeful that's only meant for you, Quinn."
Kurt's neck lurches and he thinks he might have gone into a slight cardiac arrest. He's torn between wanting to barge outside and demanding "Why!" to running far away from where their conversation is shamelessly heading. Maybe he's hearing things, maybe she meant another Quinn or – oh, who the hell was he kidding, Mercedes wasn't lying!
The Glee club is incestuous and pretty darn gay, but he hadn't expected those two adjectives to overlap and seep into each other now that they've graduated into the Real World. After a night of roommate girl/boy talk and bonding, he learned that Rachel isn't as boy crazy as she's let on, having entertained thoughts of the woman-on-woman kind. It's Quinn that's shocking. His impression of her has always been the All-American, church-going, doll-dress wearing, Yale attending, straight WASP. Sure, she made that bad decision sleeping with Puck (which spiraled into multiple other bad decisions) but this – Rachel? Rachel!
This deserves a headline on gossipcop.
Kurt jerks away from the window when he hears their metal front door sliding open. He races back to the living area, tries to jump over the couch but underestimates the height and his aerobics skills and ends up with half his body on the floor. Santana and her bed buddy slash yoga teacher enters just in time to see him scrambling off the floor and fixing his shirt.
"Won't even ask, weirdo," Santana says, giving Kurt a wink and two thumbs up.
"Oh, was I supposed to bring questions?" The yoga teacher slash one night stand asks.
Kurt wrinkles his nose because most of Santana's girls make as much sense as a fortune cookie from that bootlegged Chinese shop around the block. He waits until the teacher makes a turn into Santana's bedroom before hopping over to Santana with the intention of scandalous news.
The plan fails when Rachel crawls back into the room, phone nowhere in sight. "What?" she asks when she notices his wide eyes on her.
"What? What?" Kurt replies back.
Santana looks between the two of them. "Are you guys ok? Didn't dabble in my stash when I was gone, did you?"
"No!" he squeaks. He turns back to Rachel with a toothy smile. "Of course we're ok, why wouldn't we be ok? How about you, Rachel? Are you fine? Where have you been this entire time? I thought I was home all alone. Didn't even see you there!"
"Um, I was outside tending to my vegetable garden."
"Which is code word for getting high."
"Santana!"
"Oh, quit it Berry. We all do it. Just last week I did it in your bedroom."
Rachel gasps, scandalized. Kurt is tempted to shout, "Liar!"at Rachel because Rachel was everything but outside tending to her garden. It's 8 at night, who even works on plants in the dark? He even goes as far as opening his mouth before clamming up because a little censor flares over his head. If Mercedes was right, then this little Rachel and Quinn abomination has been happening since that failure of a wedding, which means they've been keeping it a secret for at least a month now. Who knows when it actually started!
And, well, Rachel has been his best friend and confidante. She's the only one who knows about his relapse into sleeping with Blaine…and sending Blaine dirty text messages and even filthier pictures, and lying to Adam about Blaine, and flying out for a secret rendezvous with Blaine last weekend…But that's besides the point, the point is, Rachel has been keeping his secret and maybe he should keep hers.
He's no Mercedes or Tina or Santana.
In due time, something is bound to give. Because last he heard, Rachel still wasn't over the Finn thing and Quinn wasn't over the whole penis thing.
He's going to keep telling himself that.
He'll just keep their tryst to himself until Rachel trusts him enough and finds it suitable to talk to him, or until he can't withhold the information any longer and self-combusts with all the dirty secrets.
Yes, yes, that's what he's going to do.
Yes.
When Kurt tells her to keep an eye out on Rachel and Quinn, Santana pays it no second thought. She already knows what's happening. She's known since two weeks ago when she got the call about a Yeast-I-Stat commercial she'd been auditioning for (she saw the ad on NYADA's Myspace bulletin board. Yes, thanks to Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez has now begun using Myspace and what a twisted world this is).
So, it's safe for Santana to assume that Quinn's last minute weekend visit is for her, because lets be real, why would anyone willingly want to see GayBerry's ugly mugs now that they're no longer obligated to like they were in high school? It's not a surprise that out of the three of them, Santana's the first one to land a gig.
They haven't officially congratulated her yet, but Santana's expecting it. Soon.
In the meantime, she plans on jump starting the celebration with a lil R&R at Callbacks. There are better places to throw a huge celebration in her honor, but fuck it, Santana's used to the flirty bartenders who give them occasional free drinks, and all the hot NYADA college girls who don't hesitate to 'experiment.' This being a girls' night means Kurt and Adam are invited, but they have to attend some stupid band meeting for Adam's orgy group first.
For now, it's just her, Rachel, and Quinn at a booth nursing alcoholic beverages that Rachel doesn't quite approve of, but will go along with since everyone else is doing it. They're unusually quiet, so Santana takes it upon herself to fill the silences with her riveting cage dancing anecdotes. Rachel seems interested enough, but Quinn looks bored out of her mind and stares off into the crowd as if someone there is personally offending her. To be honest - and if there's anything Santana is, it's honest - these girls are boring as fuck and the only reason Santana hasn't ditched them yet is because she's not drunk enough to venture off on her own. NYADA people are crazy on top of being hot, so she doesn't want to wake up in anyone's bathtub with her kidneys missing as part of an art exhibition.
Quinn did come all the way here for her and they were supposed to be secretly-but-not-so-secretly celebrating her success.
"Ok, enough about me," Santana says, waving her hands, "Although, my life has been pretty amazing these last few months, let's talk about your boring asses. So, Rachel, we all know you went through a horrible crisis after finding out Barbie Brody wasn't a prostitute after all, and instead it was worst, just a low life nerd who moonlighted as an obsessive World of Warcraft gold farmer. So what about you, Quinn, how's it going? How's that love life of yours?"
She puts emphasis on the "love" part because last she heard, Quinn was still secretly-but-not-that-secretly bumping uglies with her married Yale professor. Santana wants to see her squirm, see her put on a fake smile and justify their adulterous and slightly pedophellic romance through gritted teeth, right in front of Rachel. It's always more fun tearing Quinn a big one with others around.
Quinn glares hard at Santana before taking a sip of her Cosmopolitan. "Everything is great. Yale's as fantastic and as difficult as ever, my life for once isn't a Lifetime movie, and love? Who needs love? I'm young, single, and attractive. That's good enough for me."
"So you're not seeing anyone then?" Santana presses. "No one at all? Not like, say, a middle aged man who happens to teach at Whities R Us?"
"Without commenting on your lack of subtlety, no," Quinn says, her eyes making a quick dart at Rachel. "That was bad judgement on my part, and I told him if he pressures me into anything else then I'm going to make sure the schoolboard knows just how great and attentive he is to his students."
Quinn smiles that beautiful, sugary sweet smile of hers, and it makes Santana want to gag. She can tell that Quinn's calmed down a bit, and besides her horrible taste in men, Quinn's beginning to get it together and all it took was Jodie Foster's clambake and an all female sorority.
Santana wonders if she too should join a feminist group. She could be like, their hot mascot, and having seen past feminist groups, they're in desperate need of one.
"Once again, you bore me," Santana says, snapping at the waiter to get her another drink. "Lets go back to Rachel. So I heard you've been sexting, how very 8th grade of you. Who's the unlucky fellow? Finn? Brody? That Terry guy from work? All three?"
Quinn's smile drops. "What?"
Rachel groans. "I have not been doing anything of the sort!"
"Don't lie, I know you still have problem talking about your relationship with Finn – " Quinn grips her wine glass, Rachel fidgets in her seat, " – It's ok, it's completely understandable. Sometimes I have a hard time mentioning Finn's name too, because I have war flashbacks to the time that behemoth was on top of me. Picture a dolphin getting run over by a speedboat - that's how sexy it was. My doctors tell me it's post-traumatic stress disorder."
Quinn and Rachel share a look that goes unnoticed by Santana who continues, "Here's some advice, the best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else. Unless you're Tina Cohen-Chang, than maybe you shouldn't be trying to get at anybody because you'll most likely end up in jail for vaporape."
Rachel stammers, "I don't...Um, I'm not a sure...it was a 3 year relationship, I don't think I'm ready...I mean, you saw how horrible things ended with Brody, and we weren't even technically together. I think I'm fine doing this single thing." She quickly raises her glass and downs half in 2 seconds.
"Sure," Quinn says, staring at her own drink. "As long as you've realized that Finn isn't the be all, end all, of all relationships, and that high school romances have a very low success rate."
"Because you're such an expert on relationships," Rachel says, and Santana's a bit surprised to hear how snappy she sounds.
Quinn shoots Rachel a hard look. "I'm sorry, did I strike a nerve? At least Santana recognizes the need to leave a dead horse alone."
Santana snickers, feeling the great ol' affect of alcohol in her system. "Lets be real Rach, you wouldn't past a chance for another ride on Finn Wide-As-A Hudson River. I'm over B, but at least I can admit I wouldn't past a chance to get in those pants again."
"You're wrong." Rachel turns her focus on Quinn. "When I say I'm not ready for a relationship, I mean I'm not ready for a relationship. It doesn't mean I have some ulterior motive to get back with my ex-boyfriend."
Quinn laughs bitterly. "I know you Rachel - god, I'm sure even the janitor at your school knows you. You're an open book, one that we've all read and memorized, and when it comes to Finn, you make the same mistakes over and over again. You don't change."
"Wow, talk about deja vu. I'm sure we've had this conversation before. Sorry to break it to you, Quinn, but it's not like you've changed your ways either. I wasn't surprised when you decided not to talk to me for a week, because once again, the moment you don't get your way, you freeze everyone out."
Quinn matches Rachel's humorless smile with her own. "Looks like you have me all figured out. So why is it do you think I'm here, Rachel? What's my reason now? Come on, I'm sure everyone at this table will like to know."
Rachel huffs, making a move toward her drink - except she touches air because during her argument Santana had stolen it. She crosses her arms instead. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for your games, Quinn. Whatever your reasons are for being here, I'm sure it's self-serving."
Santana feels like she's been dropped in some foreign soap opera with very bad actors and she has no freakin' idea what's going on. As they ping pong back and forth, she checks her Facebook, replies back on some of her Twitter followers, emails one of her girlfriends, and sends pictures of dead animals to Kurt. She zones out on their argument until something along the lines of, "I can't believe I came all the way out here for you," spills from Quinn's mouth and it feels like she's completely sober.
"Wait," Santana says, cutting off Rachel's incoming comment with a, "You came to New York for Rachel?"
"What? No? Did I say that?" Quinn tries to laugh it off, but Santana Lopez knows a fake Quinn Fabray laugh when she hears it.
"You did come out here for her!" Santana accuses, suddenly feeling emotionally charged. "I thought - I thought all this time you were here to visit your best friend, ME. To tell me, 'hey Santana, congratulations on landing your first nation wide commercial and being one step closer to the star you obviously are.' But fuck no, you're here for someone who can't even reach the top of the stove?"
"Hey!" Rachel and Quinn yells at the same time, but one glance at each other and they shut up.
"Ok, enough!" Santana stands up from her seat. "I'm so – so angry! I need to…I need to…Solo! I need to solo!"
Rachel gasps. "That's my thing!"
"Exactly, and I'm stealing it from you just like you stole my night!"
Santana storms off toward the stage and pushes a hipster/homeless looking NYADA student away from the mic-stand. The Callbacks employees have known drunk Santana long enough to know not to intervene when she's in her fury fits because no one wants to end up in the hospital, and because her anger usually lead to awesome performances.
She's midway through "You're So Vain" when she realizes that Rachel and Quinn aren't at the table anymore. Annoyed that they've up and ditched her, she storms off again, this time tossing the mic-stand at the unsuspecting piano guy. She pushes her way through a cheering crowd, aiming for the restroom to freshen up before heading home. The restroom door barely closes behind her when she freezes, her mouth dropping open.
Rachel and Quinn are pressed up against the sink, kissing each other. Tongues all up and into each other's mouth. Eating each other's faces. Doing things and making noises that Santana has only heard and witness in horror films.
Rachel has one hand twisted in Quinn's hair while Quinn's digits are mysteriously hidden underneath Rachel's skirt. Like, where could those tiny manhands possibly be?
"Oh, hell no!" Santana shouts.
Rachel and Quinn jump apart, stumbling into opposite sides. "Oh, Mah, Barbra" Rachel annunciates with a thick New York accent. Quinn just looks pissed off.
"Hell to the no," Santana repeats, "I am way too drunk for this shit." And with that, she turns around and slams the door behind her.
It's Spring Break, and to say Mike's a little annoyed at his parents is a big understatement. Instead of agreeing to send him to Cancun along with the rest of his UCLA friends, his parents insist that he must come back to Lima for a visit and that he must stay for the entire week. Because his dad is funding his entire college career, and his mom has these eyes a person can't say no to, he relents. So, that means no hot babes in bikini and no underage drinking until he pukes up his lever.
The positive side to being back home in this Podunk town is that he gets to spend time with his former Glee club friends. He's surprised how he's managed to stay in contact with most of them, either through Facebook, Skype, or constant texting. Even the ones who were never close to him back in high school have somehow become a fixture in his life.
Take Rachel, for instance.
He doesn't remember ever trading more than two sentences with her during their entire high school run together. Mostly because he was afraid that as soon as he becomes familiar with Rachel, all of McKinley's drama will follow him like they seem to do with the people around her, and he prefers being the quiet Asian in the background. Nowadays, they constantly text back and forth because Rachel can't seem to let Glee club die and enjoys spamming him with lengthy monologues. He even got a Myspace account because of her, and she became a fan of Attack on Titans because of him.
And through Rachel, he got close with Quinn.
They share a lot more in common than he initially thought. Firstly, they were put under the pressure of their parents to carry the torch of their family name, or some noble Samurai stuff like that. Secondly, they loved live music and used to attend as many concerts as they could in little Lima, Ohio. Thirdly, they're quiet people who enjoyed sitting back and watching everything around them.
It's surprising, sure, that Queen Bee Quinn Fabray would now rather be a wallflower than the center of attention, but Mike's found himself the perfect buddy to sit under a tree and read a book with so he's not going to question it.
Where he gets his loud and fun with Rachel, he gets his calm and serenity with Quinn.
In truth, coming back to Lima isn't all that depressing when it's a Friday night at Puck's house, and he's drinking beer and playing video games with Puck, Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes, Artie, Puck's brother Johnathan and Johnathan's girlfriend, Miley. Or was that Jim and Miranda? Who cares, it's not like he'll ever get to know the junior New New Directions anyways.
Rachel and Quinn are huddled together on Puck's beanbag chair, with Mercedes and Miley sitting Indian Style in front of them, gossiping about whatever crazy thing Santana and Kurt are getting up to in New York. When Quinn looks over at him, he catches her attention and smiles sweetly at her. Maybe it's the three beers he's had, but he's finding it hard to look away from Quinn.
She's so pretty, like what he imagines princesses to look like in fairytales or Disney movies.
In his current tipsy state, he'd admit his first choice of New Direction girls wouldn't have been Tina, but Quinn Fabray. And that was all before he found out how…creepy Tina can be. Honestly, he's had a little crush on Quinn since freshman year, and said crush has resurfaced and seemed to have grown during the last couple of months now that he's newly single and ready to mingle.
He knows she's single and hasn't been messing with that professor in a while, so he hopes that maybe he could get her alone before they have to go their separate ways. He doesn't plan on anything serious since they live across the country from each other, but it wouldn't hurt to try something out and see where it takes them. Quinn's such a cool chick when she's not planning something psychotic, it'll be a shame to let her go.
He hands his control over to Puck's brother Josh and does this crazy knee twirl that lands him in front of the girls. They all giggle at him as he takes a confident bow, still on his knees.. "Are you ladies thirsty? How about a refill, or some wine coolers?" he asks them.
"Oh, what a gentleman," Mercedes clutches her chest dramatically. "I'll have a strawberry daiquiri."
Miley or Monica shyly shakes her head.
Quinn hands him both hers and Rachel's cups. "Thank you, Mike. I, for one, am all about the male figure finding chivalrous ways to get me drunk. Just ask Puck."
He thinks she's joking, so he smiles awkwardly.
Rachel nudges Quinn's side, whispers something quick in her ear, and then to Mike she placates, "Just juice for me and Quinn, please and thank you!"
Mike's fingers linger over Quinn's hand when he takes their cups. He might have been quiet in Glee, but he's not a shy guy by any means. He knows what he wants and he goes for it (unless his parents are the obstacle, then he'd rather shrivel than have to face them). He doesn't break her eye contact when he half-smiles, salutes, and does a funny dance all the way to the kitchen.
Pucks already in there making nacho cheese, and they're close friends enough for him to ask bluntly, "Hey so, I think I wanna ask Quinn out. Any advice?"
Puck cocks an eyebrow and offers a toneless, "Why, dude? She's crazy."
He laughs rather than get mad at Puck's blasé attitude. "Why? Because she's cool and I like her? And lets be real, the only time she was ever crazy was when it involved you."
Puck shrugs. "Your funeral, man. She might be cool but she's also high maintenance, her girl friends are protective as shit, and expect a very long vacation in the Sahara desert for your pecker - unless she gets a baby kick, than maybe you'll get Jr. Chang wet."
"Getting what wet?" Rachel asks, skipping into the kitchen.
"No one," Mike says, but Puck's "Mike wants underneath Quinn's dress," drowns him out.
Mike grimaces when he sees Rachel's smile drop, and that angry look is etched across her face. "Excuse me?"
"Nothing," he says quickly. "I was just uh – it's not, you know, serious. I just wanted to um – just for the future – if I ever wanted to like – Quinn's a cool and pretty chick and –"
Rachel raises her hand, silencing him. "That's good enough. I'd rather not have to listen to my friend wanting underneath my best friend's dress, ok, Mike? Quinn would not appreciate the two of you talking about her behind her back like a – like a piece of meat. Especially you, Michael. I would expect it from Puck, but you should know better."
Rachel – being Rachel – storms out. Mike's all out of words, so he turns to Puck for something, but all Puck does is shrug.
It's pretty hard to face Rachel for the rest of the night. She seems to sit even closer to Quinn, nearly on the other girl's lap, and doesn't leave her side. Whenever he tries to get in a conversation with Quinn, Rachel makes some long-winded remark that redirects the topic to herself and successfully shuts him down. Quinn hasn't shown any attitude change towards him, so Mike at least appreciates Rachel for not tattling on him.
He really does want to apologize.
But they don't leave each other alone for one second, which is odd when he remembers how much they hated each other in high school.
He doesn't miss the way Quinn's hand would linger low on Rachel's back, or when Rachel would always whisper in Quinn's ear, and how the two of them seem to be off in their own world. He puts it off as Rachel being that protective friend and Quinn lapping up the attention because really, it's Rachel and Quinn so it can't be any other way. They fight 50% of the time, and he doesn't expect this night to end without them getting into an argument (probably over a boy (maybe him?)).
When Rachel's hovering becomes too much, reminding him of how Tina started suffocating him during their last year together, Mike decides to save Quinn. He doesn't want things to get too uncomfortable, especially since Rachel's overprotectiveness must have started because of Puck's comment in the kitchen. He tries to ease the tension by flashing Rachel an innocent smile, then asking her politely if he can borrow Quinn. Without waiting for Rachel's response, he grabs Quinn's hand and pulls her quickly away before anyone could interfere.
There's no dance floor, just Puck's living room, and there's no dancers, just a tipsy Mercedes spinning around on Artie's lap, Puck attempting to moon walk, and Puck's brother Jared with his girlfriend Michelle making fools of themselves. He knows Quinn can really dance when she wants to, so he hopes to loosen her up and give her some fun, and maybe they can get some privacy and talk later.
He twirls her around a few times before attacking her six ways til Sunday with his charm.
They're having a genuine good time, if he can say so himself, before he feels her presence loom over them like a dark cloud, and before he knows it, Rachel is there, right behind Quinn. He tries to ignore how Rachel is awkwardly grinding behind Quinn, how Quinn ends up turning around in his arms to face her, how they're now more wrapped up in each other than they care for him. He tries to ignore Puck's catcalls, Mercedes obnoxious laugh, and Artie fumbling into him out of nowhere.
He wants to take Rachel aside and tell her, "Bro – that's not cool," when he remembers that Rachel is in love with Finn and Quinn is anything but another Santana. In a rare moment, he gets angry and does his best Rachel Berry-storm out – but subtly, because Mike Chang doesn't do dramatics.
He's outside enjoying the fresh air and clearing his head for about a minute when both Rachel and Quinn join him. He doesn't know what to say to them, or specifically Rachel, without coming off like a jerk so he keeps quiet and stares into the darkness.
"Somehow, with everyone a little drunk it's like a sauna in there," Rachel says.
Quinn laughs quietly. "Like an unsexy, swamp sauna."
Mike refrains from commenting. He keeps his jaw set and his eyes forward, but it's hard to not be aware that Rachel has an arm around Quinn, and they're most likely snuggling.
"So…" Rachel starts again. "Now that I've taken a breather, it's awfully freezing out here. Do you want to head back inside?"
"You go first. I'll see you in a bit."
Then it happens.
He doesn't necessarily see it but rather, he hears it. It's not really quick, it's not really innocent, and it's not really friendly. It's wet, moist, coupled with three or so smacking noises, then a soft giggle, and then Rachel's leaving.
He turns to Quinn as soon as the door closes behind them.
"Yeah," is all she says, giving him a surprisingly apologetic smile.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I thought she…isn't she with that Terry guy?"
"She is." Quinn's look is enough to silence his judgment. "But...she's going to break up with him. We're not officially together, but she means a lot to me, and I'd like to think that I mean a lot to her too. Just know that it's serious and more important than something one would ever talk to Puck about inside a kitchen."
She nudges him playfully, making him smile, but then his smile turns upside down because, damn.
She hears it from Puck who got it from the dancer guy who had told Puck not to tell anyone, but really now, what person with two brain cells would ever trust Puck with anything. Kitty knows it's a stupid rumor as soon as the words leave Puck's mouth. Leave it to the boys to happily spread such a salacious rumor if they so happen to see two girls do something as innocent as hold hands. If Puck wasn't so good looking and being her closest connection to Quinn Fabray, she'd have discarded him like an unwanted fat friend.
Kitty has much more important things to do, like manicures and plotting devious ways to ruin Marley Rose's life. After Puck wastes approximately 10 minutes of her time with his sadistic gossip, she demands he get on all fours and do push-ups with her on his back, otherwise one call to her daddy and Puck will wish he never laid eyes on Kitty Damn You're Gorgeous Wilde.
Still, the seed has been planted, and it's not like she can wash her mind off with soap. Some dirty things tend to stick in crevices even her form of acid can't erase – like that one sight of Tina Cohen-Chang trying to lay one on Blaine Warbler during the Sadie's Hawkings dance.
The images of Quinn and that girl won't go away, but if she can ignore how Fast and Furious made minorities a trend then...then she can ignore this.
She semi-succeeds at not thinking about it too much, that is until the dreadful day of Nationals.
Thanks to her undeniable talent and bribing skills, New New Directions scraped by with a Regional win and are now heading into Nationals. Because these graduates have nothing better to do with their lives, most of them have decided to come home to see her – er, the New New Directions compete.
Quinn is part of that group, having missed Regionals because of a lame excuse called pneumonia. Like, what is that even? With Quinn comes Santana and unfortunately, Rachel. Kitty wishes it had been Rachel who had gotten pneumonia and then maybe get hit by a car. A little.
Anyways.
She knows there's no bigger bitch than Santana Lopez. She learned from Santana Lopez, although the Mexican never knew she had a pupil. You see, Kitty Wilde is too smart to bite when the enemy's back isn't turned. As a freshman under Santana's reign, she stayed hidden in the shadows where she learned to pick up and mastered all of Santana's evil traits. Ever since Santana up and left with her back turned to Lima, Ohio, Kitty isn't afraid to strike anymore.
Oh, and she struck good.
Struck right into Santana's very own Brittany S. Pierce. She likes to think she played a hand in making that dumbass feel even more insecure about herself, thus initiating project breakup Brittana. She also may have whispered in Blaine's ears that there's nothing wrong with finding other men attractive, and that hey, everyone gets a little lonely sometimes.
What she should have struck was the heart of that sick and twisted Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry friendship when she had the chance. She should have also created some plan to rekindle Rachel's romance with her bumbling, stupid oaf of an ex-boyfriend back when they were performing Grease, The Pathetic version. That way, at least Kitty would be able to sleep at night knowing that the only thing on that Jewish girl's mind was quick ways to steal gold and Finn Hudson.
Now, Kitty's stuck trying to ignore what Puck had told her, that Quinn is secretly in a relationship but not really relationship with Rachel. But it's hard to ignore something that's right in front of her face, laughing and giggling like an obsessed schoolgirl on a date with her future abusive husband slash sparkling vampire.
She's never seen Quinn act like that before, and she's seen Quinn – a lot – in various ways, forms, personalities, hairstyles, and angst level. She, and the majority of McKinley, has seen Rachel Berry act like a whipped bitch for years thanks to that god awful Finn, so she knows smitten when she sees one. So far, all Rachel and Quinn have been doing is a lot of low whispering and subtle touches, nothing that seems abnormal to anyone who isn't paying attention.
Kitty isn't just anyone though. She has been paying attention, having stood in the dark shadows where she can keep a keen eye on the duo. While the rest of her teammates are off in their dressing rooms getting ready for Nationals, Kitty is skipping from dark corners to dark corners, following Rachel and Quinn's every move.
She hasn't talked to Quinn the entire day, and she desperately wants some last minute advice and tips to wow the judges, but in order to stay incognito she has to be as invisible as Kevin Richardson was in the Backstreet Boys. It hurts her so much, not to be able to reach out and touch Quinn the way Jesus touched everyone's (but the homosexuals) hearts. She wants to prove to Quinn that there are better species out there than Rachel Freakin' Berry.
"This is lame," she whispers, rolling her eyes as she hangs precariously on a lighting rail.
Quinn and Rachel are currently being boring, sitting in the greenroom and chatting about some indie band no one listens to. She notices Finn slouched on a nearby wall, watching the pair as intently she is, except he's being much more How-To-Catch-A-Predator looking. Kitty spends another 10 minutes watching them from her position on the rail before she dozes off. It's the sensation of falling that wakes her up, and she uses her catlike reflexes to hang onto the lighting rig.
She blinks awake and notices that she's the only one in the greenroom alongside Rachel and Quinn who are still suspiciously snuggled up on the couch. Finn has disappeared, thank god, because she was starting to get the creepers from his constant stalking.
"I shouldn't be annoyed," Quinn whispers, but loud enough for Kitty to hear.
"You shouldn't be," Rachel agrees.
"But I am."
"But you are."
"I didn't like the way he looks at you - continues to look at you."
Kitty's eyebrows mesh together, because what the hell?
"I would normally find your jealousy issues attractive any other day, but this is Finn we're talking about. I'm tired of having him come in between us. I thought we were turning a new leaf here."
Quinn grunts, lolling her head to the side. "I'm being ridiculous, don't you think I know that? I hate feeling like this, being this way. I finally have you and being back here just brings back bad memories and I…I don't want to lose you to him of all people."
"Hey, look at me, baby," Rachel cups Quinn's chin and turns her head so they're centimeters away from each other's faces. Kitty feels the need to throw up over hearing the term of endearment and witnessing Quinn's ability to be so close to Rachel without this being some sort of sick joke. "There will be no losing me to anything. Finn Hudson could buy me another star and I still wouldn't give him the time of day. You're the only one in my tunnel vision."
"Are you going to start singing Justin Timberlake to me?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Do you want me to say what I really want you to do?"
"Quinn…the door…"
"Already locked, babe."
Kitty is glued to her spot, too horrified to scream or act or even blink. For the next hour, any doubts Kitty had over their blasphemy relationship are destroyed. There's not enough bleach in the world to cleanse her eyes with. All the praying she will do for the following week is useless. She burns all her Quinn Fabray memorabilia and the fanpage she once dedicated to one former Head Cheerio is deleted and erased from the Internet forever.
Tina Cohen-Chang has had enough of being the butt of every joke. She's sick and tired of everyone treating her as Asian #1, only important whenever they need to bust out a token minority now that Mercedes graduated. She's made some horrible mistakes in her life – like certain unmentionable acts on a certain unmentionable gay guy– but she's a lot more than just her race or her mistakes.
She's Tina Cohen-Chang dammit, and she's going to prove herself.
Strutting down McKinley's empty hallway in her graduation gown, the only thing on Tina's mind is busting out an incomparable, unforgettable solo for their closing ceremony. Everybody will be in so much awe that they'll regret the day they only gave her two or three lines to sing per year. She just needs to find the music sheet she accidentally left back in the choir room and then she'll be on her way back to the football field.
Her plan is going smoothly until she steps two feet into the choir room.
There, on the piano bench, is Rachel Berry with her head thrown back and her skirt tossed up around her waist. In between her bare legs is a very recognizable Quinn Fabray whose head is bobbing up and down. Any question of it being Quinn is answered by Rachel who goes on to moan in a breathy voice, "Right there, Quinn... God, baby that feels so good…I've – I've always dreamed about doing this in here."
Tina slowly backs out of the door, spins around on her heels, speed-walks out of the hallway, runs across the schoolyard to the football field, takes her spot next to the rest of the Glee clubbers, and stares ahead.
"Tina, are you o–"
Tina lifts up her palm. "Shut up, Mr. Schue."
Finn knows deep within his heart that Rachel Berry is his girl. During last Valentines Day, he even spent an entire day coming up with a gardening metaphor to sweep her off her feet. Ok, so he might've had some help from Sam and he might've made Kurt proofread it, but it all mostly came from inside of him anyways. Ok, so she might've blew him off by saying it was a sweet metaphor only to go running back to Quinn and Santana, and whatever plans he had for them that day was thrown out the window, but he's pretty sure she knows deep within herself that they are endgame.
That's why he laughed in Puck's face when Puck dropped some hints that Rachel and Quinn were sleeping together. Because, what the hell? His ex-girlfriend with his future wife? Rachel wouldn't do that to him.
He also laughed, albeit more forcefully, when he came back from his semester in college to the sound of Tina gossiping about seeing Rachel and Quinn together in a very sexy way. Then he remembered what Tina did to Blaine which means she must have been lying just to get attention.
None of them made sense anyways. Rachel and Quinn hated each other. He's pretty sure the only reason why they became friends during senior year and semi-kept in touch after graduation was because of him. Quinn obviously wanted to be his friend again and Rachel is forever his girl, so logic says they're trying to be nice to each other for his sake. Even though everyone has graduated and most have moved out of Lima, they still find themselves hanging out together during the holidays and summer, and it's no fun being in a room with two girls constantly going at each other's throat.
It's nice, because Finn misses his friends. College is fun, hot loose chicks and all, but they can't replace his good ol' Glee clubbers.
"Finn, you need to stop eating the cookie dough or else you're going to have a tummy ache," Kurt reprimands him, snatching up his lifeline.
Finn frowns, because he's incredibly hungry and all the food in the kitchen has been reserved for the summer party his mom wants to throw in honor of Burt fighting his cancer. Finn thinks it's great and all, but he really wants to eat the cookies in front of him. They shouldn't have put cookies in front of him.
"Finn, can I talk to you for a second?" Kurt asks.
He quickly drops an oatmeal cookie he thought he had successfully snuck off the plate. Kurt just gives him a stern look then beckons him to the backyard, where the party's been set up but no one's there yet. He picks up the cookie and devours it before Kurt turns around.
"Before everyone gets here, I just wanted to have a chat with you," Kurt says.
Finn's grin turns into worry. "Ok, cool. But why are you so serious? You're not in trouble or anything are you, because I'm pretty broke and I don't think I can bail you out."
Kurt makes a face. "What? No, I'm not in trouble. I just wanted to talk to you about some of our friends before they get here. You know, since you've been busy in college, a lot of things have changed."
"I was only away for 3 months, Kurt, and I saw everyone at Nationals. What can possibly change so much in that time?"
"Just…things. You know, people grow up, grow old, feelings change, people change, things like that." At Finn's perplexed face, Kurt goes on to explain, "For instance, take me and Blaine. A part of me will always love Blaine and I'm glad he's coming to New York but I'm happy with Elliot now and nothing will ever happen between us again. I think it's for the better too, because looking back, my god was that not a healthy relationship."
Finn nods, smiling, although he's confused about Kurt's point. As much as he loves Kurt like a brother, they're not exactly close in that way to be sharing relationship details. He still gets confused sometimes when he sees pictures of Kurt and Blaine together, because Blaine's such a bro that…it's just surprising.
"I'm happy for you," Finn says slowly. "That's good, right? You getting over Blaine and um, we're all growing up and stuff. I like to think I've changed too."
"And you have," Kurt assures him. "I don't think I've ever seen you so focused before. I'm proud of you, for getting out of Mr. Schue's shadow, for not being stuck in my dad's shop, for finding your own passion in life."
Finn ducks his head, taken back by the compliment. It's still a new feeling sometimes to feel good about himself and his choices. "What about Rachel? Has she…do you think she's proud of me too?"
"Of course she is." Kurt pats his arm, but Finn doesn't miss the way his smile drops. "That's what I wanted to talk about too. Rachel's changed a lot, you know that, right? I think you shouldn't put her on too high of a pedestal anymore, Finn. She's not the girl that you left back in New York, and I'm saying this as someone who's lived with her for almost a year and got to know her like my own sister."
Finn feels an irk of frustration over Kurt's words. Just because Kurt's lived with her, doesn't mean he knows her or their relationship like Finn does. Nobody gets them but them. "I understand what you're trying to say, but I think I can handle it."
"Are you sure? Because I don't want you to blow up and harm any chairs if you get surprised by anything."
Kurt's trying to joke with him, and instead of finding it humorous Finn just gets more annoyed. "Yeah, I'm sure. Look, we're not like you and Blaine. We've both changed, yeah, but our love for each other is sort of timeless you know? Like a Will Smith movie."
Kurt makes a choked, whiny sound before he nods his head, finally agreeing to Finn's common sense. Finn feels a lot more at east when Kurt gives him another pat on the shoulder before venturing inside to start the party. An hour later, and most of their friends from Glee club has arrived and it's just like the conversation never happened.
He knows Rachel's there the moment he feels her presence. They're forever tethered together so of course he'll know when she's nearby. What he doesn't expect though, is that Quinn is also nearby.
And they're holding hands.
Only for a little bit, because as soon as he looks up and catches Rachel's eyes, her and Quinn part and go in opposite directions. They even share a quick kiss to each other's cheeks. Quinn walks over to Burt and Finn can hear them start a chat about political stuff that he usually gets too bored to think about. Rachel, however, keeps his gaze and gives him a nice, all too pleasant and friendly smile before merging herself into Kurt's group. She didn't even bother to say hi to him. He'd have focused on her smile if the image of her holding Quinn's hand and kissing Quinn's cheek weren't burned in his mind.
Puck's words, Tina's gossip, and even Kurt's warning all comes to him at once.
And people like to call him slow.