Okay so the rated M bit kicks in with this chapter. Keep reviewing! I have a couple more chapters in me

Chapter 4

"Where you been dude?" Kyle asked as he saw Ryan coming back to the table, looking a bit lost

Ryan looked at his friend and then thought about what he just did. He was still astounded about what just took place. He was trying so hard to process it, all through the thick veil of alcohol. He just made out with the enemy. And the enemy happened to be his best friends little sister.

"Yeah man, I mean I now realize what I did was a dick move. That was fucked up. You don't go after friend's sisters. That is so against bro-code," Mark said

Ryan snapped out of his thoughts and then looked at Mike, his words hitting him. Fuck, what did he just do? Not only did he make out with the girl he loathed, that was totally against bro-code. Kyle would hate him if he ever found out, and he wouldn't blame him. And yet, all he could think about was pinning his little sister against a wall right now.

She walked in a daze back to her friends up on the catwalk. They were talking to a couple of guys and turned to see their friend, "Hey, finally! It's been like, an hour!"

She snapped her head up, "Huh?"

"I said it's been an hour," Brooke exclaimed, "How'd the whole 'help out ultra douche' go?"

Marissa couldn't really comprehend anything going on right now. Her head was just a mixture between vodka cranberry haziness and confusion between what just took place. She wanted to gag. She wanted to go make herself throw up, wash herself in the shower, or just run. She had no clue why what happened, just happened.

She then realized she didn't answer the question, "Oh, um, it went okay. He banged some model slut" she answered and then took the drink her friend Fiona had and chugged it.

"Woah Coop, was it that bad?" she laughed

"Um, yeah. It was rough," she said, not looking her in the eye and running her hand through her hair, a clear sign she was uncomfortable.

"Hey," Brooke said, taking a step towards her, "You okay?"

Fiona looked at her, "Yeah you look kinda pale"

Marissa was looking down and took a big deep breathe, trying to ground herself a bit, suddenly dizzy from all the drinks, "Yeah" she laughed. "Yeah I am fine. Just need another drink," She mumbled

"Well…maybe these guys can get it for us," Fiona said and motioned to the three guys they were talking to. "This is Marissa who we were telling you about. Told you she was gorgeous"

"She definitely is. Hey, I'm Ash,"

This Ash guy was tall, dark and handsome, and was sporting a polo shirt along with his nicely quaffed hair. He looked like a damned Abercrombie model.

"Marissa" She smiled nervously. "Vodka cranberry?" she then asked him, needing a fucking drink in her hand now.

He laughed a little, "Of course" he smirked and went to go get the drinks.

Marissa forced a smile and then clung onto the railing of the catwalk.

"You sure you're okay?" Fiona asked

"Mhmm," Marissa forced another smile and nodded

She felt so sick with herself. Sick with her to allow what had happened before, and even more sick that she liked it. God, what was wrong with her?

Ryan downed two more whiskeys in mere minutes. He was now pretty obliterated. "Fuckkkkkkkk" he groaned and wobbled before letting his head rest on the table. He just wanted his conflicted thoughts gone, and whiskey always helped.

"I got to piss," Kyle said before hopping off the stool, stumbling a bit because he had drank a bit too much as well

Ryan nodded, lifted his head off the table but supporting his head with his hand.

After Kyle was gone for a couple seconds Mike spoke up

"Hey, I wanted to thank you for before. I mean, I was so pissed for you being a major cockblock at first, but dude thank god you did. Cause Kyle would have been pissed. And I definitely wouldn't have been able to resist Marissa Cooper"

With every word Ryan's stomach sunk more. He felt the guilt rising up in him, making him physically ill.

"I mean between us two, can we talk about how smoking hot she has got? Damn dude, she is so fucking" he shook his head "Ughhh so hot. It's unfair that she has to be related. So unfair"

"Yeah she's okay," Ryan lied. Obviously she was hot. She was insanely hot. She was next level ridiculously hot. And he hated her. He hated her and the fact that she was so good looking on top of it all made him hate her more. Why couldn't she be gross? Then this would never be a problem.

"Pfft you're trippin' man. You're just saying that cause you hate her"

"I gotta go out for a cigarette," Ryan said, standing up. He needed a cigarette now more than ever and he needed the fresh air along with it.

He pushed passed everyone to get to the entrance and walked outside and quickly lit a cigarette. He inhaled deeply and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the smoke fill his lungs. He leaned against the building and closed his eyes. He felt the floor moving, the alcohol making him feel like he was at sea. Then, without wanting it, images of Marissa appeared in his head. And in those pictures he was fucking her.

He opened his eyes quickly and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if to clear his thoughts. He then took another long drag and shook his head

"This is bad" he said to himself as he exhaled, "So fucking bad"

Ash wasn't taking her mind off much. His personality wasn't very complex, and she just found herself thinking about before, over and over. His rough lips, his rough hands, and his enticing smell. And then she hated herself for thinking these thoughts. It was a vicious cycle. And the alcohol only made the thoughts worse, and dirtier. It was as if her brain was working against her, and she couldn't escape it. She just wanted to run.

"Ya know, I am not feeling that well, I am uh, going to go," Marissa said, running her hand through her hair

"Aw you sure sweetie? I mean you do look off," Fiona said, rubbing Marissa's arm

"Um, before you leave can I get your number maybe?" Ash asked

Marissa didn't even have time to make up an excuse, and she spouted out her numbers to him just so she could get out of there.

"Let me walk you to a cab," Brooke said

"It's fine, I got it" Marissa said as she then stumbled into the railing. 7 vodka drinks took its toll.

"No, I am" Brooke insisted and took Marissa's arm and led her down the steps

At the same time Brooke was leading Marissa out, Ryan and the boys decided their night was up as well.

Brooke spotted the boys as she exited the club, "Hey, boys!" she yelled

The boys turned and Ryan and Marissa's eyes locked immediately, before they both then looked down.

"Can you make sure Marissa gets home alright?" she asked

Marissa could have hit Brooke, but that would have looked weird. Should she just run? Should she just hop in the nearest cab and scream for him to drive?

"Of course! Come on sis!" Kyle said and went to take Marissa's arm, "Had one too many, eh?"

Ryan stood at the door of the cab they hailed and swallowed thickly. He wasn't expecting to see her so soon after their thing. He was hoping to avoid her for a couple days or so, so he had time to process this shit. Now they were going to share a cab, not even an hour later

They piled into the cab, and Ryan was sure to sit up front next to the driver so as not to have to sit near Marissa or look at her.

Kyle told the driver his address and then Ryan told him his.

"No, No no man stay at our place"

"What?" Ryan and Marissa asked simultaneously

"Relax" Kyle said to Marissa, then looked up front to Ryan, "My parents are sleeping. Just come in, pass out on my floor, and they won't know shit. Then tomorrow when they are out, I'll drive you home, no problem"

"No!" Marissa protested

Normally Ryan would yell at her to shut her fucking mouth but he knew this probably wasn't the best idea,

"Yeah man, I donno. If you're parents knew…."

"They won't. My mom takes massive amounts of sleeping pills at night and my dad sleeps in the poolhouse half the time"

"He shouldn't though. He really can't" Marissa insisted

"Marissa jesus, can you just be cool for once? Just once?" Kyle asked "Ryan you're staying. It's also just easier that way"

"HE CAN'T!" Marissa screeched drunkenly

"JESUS MARISSA SHUT UP!" Kyle was now yelling, surprised Ryan hadn't already. The driver looked highly uncomfortable as did Mike who was pinned against the window, wishing this would stop.

"IT'S-IT'S NOT OKAY! HE IS, HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT!"

"Hey!" Ryan finally now stepped in, "I'm fuckin sleeping at your house you prima donna fuck!" he yelled, now wanting to sleep there just to spite her.

"No!"

"If you guys don't stop shouting I am kicking you out!" The driver now threatened

Kyle then death glared at Marissa, and she huffed and crossed her arms.

During the awkward silence, Mike spoke up, "Oh Marissa, sorry about before too. It isn't gonna happen between us. Ya know, bro code and all"

"Kill me now" she said to herself as she put her head against the window.

She stared out the window, not knowing what to do. She didn't want Ryan in the same quarters as her. This was too much too soon. She barely had time to process anything and now he was like, sleeping two doors down from her?

They arrived at their house and they all stumbled out of the cab, everyone throwing money at the cabbie, being too drunk to actually count it out.

"Everyone don't be too loud" Kyle whispered super loudly

"I donno what you ever mean" Ryan slurred as he trudged to the entryway, and Marissa stumbled causing Kyle to have to hold her arm.

They entered the house, and Kyle locked the door,

"Okay now everyone shut the fuck up," Kyle whispered again as he led them upstairs

"You're the one talking numb nuts," Ryan whispered which caused Mike to snort laugh, and then Ryan hit him to shut up

Marissa got to her room, and didn't dare look back at any of them as she went in and closed her door, flopping onto the bed.

Kyle led the guys to his room and threw down some blankets on the floor for Ryan and told Mike to crash on the couch in his room.

Within minutes Kyle and Mike were passed out. Ryan however, was still up, his thoughts racing. He ran his hand over his stubble. He looked across the room at the door, and the fact that Marissa was only doors away made him nuts. God all he kept picturing was just saying fuck it and going there and screwing her brains out. But then he thought about who she was and what she was and he stopped.

Whatever the case, he needed a drink of water. He knew he'd be dehydrated come morning and needed to chug some water before he fell asleep. He stumbled as quietly as possible to the door, opening it softly, and tiptoeing down the steps to the kitchen.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Marissa at the refrigerator, downing some water. And she was in a nightie. Was he dreaming? Had he actually passed out upstairs too and this was going to turn into some kind of sex dream?

Marissa turned and saw him, "Fuck" she muttered

Nope, this was definitely real. He clenched his jaw and walked into the kitchen, walking passed her to get a bottle of water himself.

"Just here for water" he explained, as he twisted the cap off

She leaned against the counter and looked at him without saying anything. He gulped some water and they stood in silence.

She finally spoke, "So what happened before, that was a mistake. Like a disgusting, revolting weird mistake" she slurred a little before then drinking more water.

Ryan tried not to roll his eyes. She wouldn't have kissed back like she did if she meant that but he knew she was just in denial. "Agreed" he then said, to piss her off

She snapped her eyes to him, "Pshh yeah right. You wanted to fuck me. Hense why you kissed me"

"You kissed me back"

"I was drunk. I am drunk"

"I was too"

"Okay so then we were both just drunk," Marissa said

"Yupp"

They stood in silence again.

"I still find you loathsome. I still hate you. That hasn't changed," Marissa then spat

"Oh same to you, believe me" Ryan said, and definitely meant it. He really did hate her still. Hating and wanting to fuck though are separate from one another

"Good. Cause I seriously am trying to rack my brain trying to think of anything redeeming about you and I come up at a loss," she sniped

He scoffed, now just getting angry.

"Jesus Christ can you ever not be a bitch? Do you have some sort of fuckin mental disorder? Do you have any fuckin excuse for the way you act other than you being a spoonfed little shit" he spat as he got closer to her

"I am a bitch because people like you exist. You are literal scum. I wouldn't want to ever be associated with someone like you because you don't deserve to stand next to someone like me"

He laughed sarcastically, "Just when I thought you couldn't get any worse you pour that narcissistic bullshit out. You typical piece of Newpsie shit" he said through clenched teeth, finding himself suddenly very close to he

She leaned closer in, glaring at him, "At least I am not Chino trash," she whispered and they were now in a death glare with one another, their gaze so strong it could probably burn something.

He then smelled her breathe and remembered just how her mouth taste. His heart was racing due to his anger.

She smelled the whiskey and cigarettes again on his breathe and bit her lower lip, hating herself for feeling drawn to him. His eyes had grown dark again and she was now breathing heavily. Before giving in despite everything telling her not to, they heard a door open upstairs.

Their gaze immediately broke and Ryan jumped back. They looked at each other, waiting to hear where the footsteps went, and breathed a sigh of relief after they heard them enter the bathroom, which meant it had to be either Keith or Mike. They looked back to each other, realizing what would have happened if it weren't for that interruption. Her cheeks grew red with realization and she looked away.

"I'm going to bed," she said, grabbing her water bottle. "Don't follow me"

Ryan looked at her annoyed, "Well I have to go upstairs too, so"

"Okay well….stay back. Like far" she said and looked at him oddly before rushing passed him to go to her room to pass out, and forget this whole night ever happened, and her disgusting attraction to that sandy-blonde scumbag.

He rolled his eyes and then slowly followed behind, back to Kyle's room. Thankfully the alcohol took over quickly once he lay down, because otherwise he knew his mind would replay the moment downstairs.

The next day, Ryan wanted to get out of the Cooper household as quickly as possible. With awakening, the night's events flooded back to him and all the confusion that came along with it. What happened? Why did that happen? He then felt his pants tighten remembering the intensity of the kiss and the other intense moment in the kitchen. He needed to get the fuck out of this house because all he wanted to do was go fuck Marissa Cooper.

After Kyle woke up and scanned the house for a sign of his parents, he stealthily snuck Ryan out of the house to drive him back to the motel. Once Ryan was out of that house he breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing he wasn't within 15 feet of Marissa Cooper was a relief. He ran his hand over his scruff in the car and stared out the window. He felt so guilty sitting next to his best friend, who had done so much for him, and thinking about taking his sister from behind. That was fucked up. Especially since he also simultaneously still had a lingering loathing for this girl.

And when did this start? Obviously he knew Marissa was hot, it was undeniable, but he always thought her horrible personality trumped that. Apparently, it didn't. And the whole hatred and heated anger he felt towards her was now translating into some sexual intensity. It was so much easier just hating her without this attraction shit involved.

Kyle reached the motel and Ryan thanked his friend before hoping out and entering his gloomy room. He needed a cold shower, hopefully to rid himself of all these horribly dirty thoughts; thoughts that made him disappointed in himself. He entered the cold shower and jumped a bit at the sensation. As he stood under the stream of cold water, he closed his eyes, and without wanting to, he pictured her; the feeling of her lips, the taste of her tongue, her hands grasping his shirt, her hips touching his. With a touch of self-loathing he reached down and grasped himself, clenching his jaw as he pictured more of her.

As he exited the shower he towel-dried himself and then looked in the mirror.

"I'm fucked," he muttered to himself

Marissa woke up at noon and had the same experience; the flashbacks to the night before, and all the feelings that went along with it. Then the hatred towards herself kicked in. What was she doing? Why did she do that? Sure, she had made some horrible choices when drunk (like being fingered in public), but this was an all-time low. Ryan Atwood. She made out with Ryan fucking Atwood- the man whom she had vivid images of choking out.

She then remembered his smell; it was such a manly smell. She was used to the overwhelmingly sweet scents of Hollister and Abercrombie from the guys she had been with. Ryan, however, smelled of whiskey, cigarettes, soap, and musk all whirled together to be somehow enticing. He then had those somewhat rough lips, which she hated to admit, but he knew how to use the hell out of them.

She then tried to switch her mind back to her hatred. The things he said to her last night played in her head and she felt herself getting angry again, which was good. She would rather hate him solely. He was such a horrible person, a person who went to jail nonetheless. Unfortunately, she then remembered the end of the fight, where they stared at each other and he got that look in his eye again. The look he gave her before he kissed her, and the look he gave her in the hallway the night of the party.

She was brought back to his eyes, and his smell, and his lips, and she felt her hand slipped under the covers and pushing aside her panties. She bit her lip, trying not to make noise as she touched herself with images of her nemesis.

Afterwards she was breathing heavily against the pillows, and pushed her hair out of her face.

"I am so fucked," she muttered