CHAPTER 4

Edward

"Are you doing okay?"

I chugged down the last of my coffee before turning to Bella with a sigh. One of her hands was stretched out on the table between us, inches away from my own, as though she wasn't sure if I would welcome the gesture. I frowned at her reticence and didn't hesitate to place my palm over hers.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. Things have been crazy around here since Dr. Snow retired. The new department head is actually the father of one of the other residents in our department. He's a good surgeon, but a little too ignorant and biased when it comes to his daughter," I told her, rolling my eyes. "She's a brat who has found the license to slack on the job now that Daddy's going to be the one to supervise her. But the patients are not going anywhere, so the rest of us have to buckle down and get things done. Then there are the boards coming up. We have to devote enough time to study for them, too."

Bella winced. "That sounds terrible. Isn't there any way to report her? I mean, surely her father would have something to say about her work ethic if he knew what she was doing."

"I'm not sure if it'll work out. We're just getting to know the man, and so far, he seems completely oblivious to all her faults. Regardless, he's here to stay for at least a couple of years according to his contract. I don't want to create any friction that might come back and bite me in the ass, you know? We're handling it for now. If things get worse . . . I guess she won't be able to hide behind us for long anyway. Let's see."

"Alright." She squeezed my fingers and smiled softly. "I just worry about you. You look exhausted."

I chuckled, bringing our joint hands to my lips. I dropped a kiss on her knuckles. "Baby, I've been dealing with exhaustion for a decade now. I'll be fine. I'll just be a little whiny now and then until the schedule settles back down."

"I can handle that," she replied through a giggle.

I kissed her hand again before releasing it so that she could have her lunch. It was a poor excuse of a meal, but we hadn't been able to see each other as much as I would've liked in the past few days. So when Bella had asked if she could visit me at the hospital, I'd jumped at the chance of spending my lunch break with her, despite the crappy cafeteria food. The only thing that was any good was the coffee; I'm sure every employee here sent up a prayer of gratitude for that small mercy.

I looked at Bella as she bit into her sandwich, truly looked at her, taking in the light, but noticeable circles under her eyes and the pale complexion of her skin, and wondered if I wasn't the only one who was the worse for wear.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes flashed up to mine, wide and disconcerted. She let out a sigh, placing her sandwich back on her plate.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I've tried to keep myself busy and not worry too much, but I can't immerse myself in work all day."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I never meant for this to happen. I still don't know how it has come to this."

"Have you had a chance to talk to her?"

I looked away from her concerned gaze, raking a hand through my hair to buy myself a few seconds as I struggled to find a response. I had spoken to Nessie the day after our trip to the zoo. She'd seemed cheerful in the morning, so I'd broached the topic. She'd clammed up within seconds, but when I'd stood my ground, she'd peeked up at me through somber eyes.

"I just don't like her, Daddy. Do I have to?"

Her words had cut me to the core. They'd left me reeling, completely at a loss for words.

I couldn't have said yes.

I couldn't have said no.

And I couldn't sit here now, looking into Bella's eyes and tell her how my daughter truly felt about her.

"I tried to talk to her. She's . . . she's not budging. I don't know what to say to her," I sighed. "She hasn't said much, and I think it's because she doesn't have a solid reason for her behavior. Maybe it's the changes in her life that're taking a toll. I'm doing my best to get her to open up. It's not like anything has ever happened between the two of you, right? Maybe an argument in class?"

Her brow furrowed as she considered that. "Nothing that I can recall."

"Then it has to be something else—maybe it doesn't have anything to do with you," I tried to lie, despite knowing that she'd see right through it. "I'm working on it, Bella. I promise. I'm going easy on her because I don't want her to distance herself from me. I'm afraid that if I scold her or force her to talk, it could end up making things worse."

"You're probably right about that," Bella said before averting her eyes. "Can I . . . can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"You won't be mad?" she persisted.

I ducked my head to hold her gaze. "Ask me whatever you want. I promise to keep my cool."

She drew in a deep breath before speaking. "Angela knows about us."

It wasn't a question, but she fell silent for a few seconds, so I nodded anyway.

"You don't think . . . Angela doesn't have a problem with me, does she? We've always been on good terms whenever I saw her at school, but these are . . . well, the circumstances are different now. If Vanessa thinks her mother doesn't like me . . ." she trailed off uncertainly.

I took her hand in mine again. "Listen to me. Angela has known about us for a few weeks now. She was surprised when I first told her but once she got over it, she wished us well." I paused for a beat. "We were young when we met, Bella—reckless and stupid and infatuated with the idea of being grown-ups. We got married too quickly and then Nessie came along. I don't regret my past at all. It's just that Angela and I grew up to be very different people who simply didn't work together anymore. I know ours is a rare situation but believe me—she has no residual resentment toward me for what happened between us. I think I can safely say that we're both happier with our lives now that we don't have to hold on to a relationship that was broken beyond repair. She's not bitter about the divorce. Even if she were though, despite our differences, I don't believe that she's the sort of person who'd pass it on to Nessie and poison her mind."

Bella's eyes welled up. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to badmouth her. It was a stupid thought that entered my head, and I couldn't get rid of it. Forget I said anything."

I shook my head and leaned closer, cupping her cheek in my palm. "You don't have to apologize, sweetheart. I know what you meant, and you don't know Angela, so I can see why your mind went there. I'm not angry. I understand where you're coming from, and that's why, I'm going to speak to Angela about this."

"You don't have to—"

"I know that. I'm not going to accuse her of anything. But maybe Nessie would feel more comfortable speaking to her about this. Perhaps she already has. I wouldn't ask Angela to break her trust, but if I can get even the slightest insight into what's going on in Nessie's head, it's worth a shot."

"If you think that's best."

I released her face and stood, walking around the table to slide in next to her on the bench. With my arm curled around her shoulders, I pulled her into my side. She expelled a deep sigh and pressed her forehead into my chest.

We stayed like that until my time was up, and I had no choice but to get back to work. Mindful of the surrounding audience, I kept our goodbye short, kissing her lightly on the lips, even though I longed to pull her into my arms and hold her close until all her worries melted away.

I was glad we had gotten this opportunity to talk amidst our busy schedules. We'd aired out a few of our concerns, but I knew there were more that remained unsaid.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing Bella.

I couldn't even consider doing anything that would break my little girl's heart and her faith in me.

At the moment, there seemed to be no way out of the mess we found ourselves in without someone getting hurt. Watching the strain our situation was putting on Bella made me wonder how long it'd be before she gave up on me.

Would I even be in a position to ask for her forgiveness if she did?

Where would that leave me with my daughter?

Completely at a loss, I walked down to the nurses' station in search of a distraction to drown out the chaos in my head for a few hours.