On the Highway to Hell

by FlightOrFight

Prompt: Lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend and it goes until he realizes he genuinely likes them. Since he can't renege on the contract he takes them to Hell and puts them in a high position of power. Demos hardened by millenia of torture now have to answer to a shy, self-conscious, quiet, depressed, lonely person who has unintentionally become Satan's #1

4. Chapter 4

A/N: It has a happy ending, btw. And this story is already finished.

Chapter 4

She glanced down at her phone, looking at the number before deciding to answer.

The voice in the other end spoke, "Everything went well, my daughter?"

She smirked slightly. "He just needs a little more help, and I'm ready to provide it."

"How long?"

She frowned at the impatience laced in his tone. "The time I need."

"Our Lord spends a lot of time with that human; do you really want Him to keep wasting His precious time?"

Rolling her eyes, she continued, "I'll have to give him a little incentive then, though even if I do that, it'd be hard. The boy's will isn't shattering for some reason."

There was waiting at the other end; she leaned on the table of one of the yahoos as she waited, taking a french fry from the tray.

"I've already prepared something in case things get problematic." She arched an eyebrow. "I don't want to use it, so you better not fail me, my child. You don't want " She shut her phone when she saw Sam running around the corner, looking at the counter for something to eat; glancing at her right she noticed the food still intact of one of the patients that looked too out of it to even notice when she took it from his table. She smiled and called for him.

"Sam?" He didn't hear her. She scoffed but walked closer, deciding to stand behind him with a hand on her waist as she put the best smile the girl's body had to offer, careful of not showing too many teeth. "I was waiting for you, Sam. I almost go to your room."

He looked over his shoulder looking surprised before a smile started to form on his lips.

Remember to not show many teeth, he thought to herself.

- x -

Lucifer ran a hand through Sam's hair, making sure that nightmares wouldn't haunt his dreams as continued to sleep beside him, using his chest as a pillow. He had decided to stay with him after he finished telling the story of how he escaped from the Cage and putting him into sleep. Sam had listened carefully as Lucifer tried to find the right words about how he had spent many centuries inside the Cage. Pushing and shoving his wings with all the force he could muster against the walls that surrounded him; the rage that clouded his mind that didn't weaken even as he started to grow tired. He didn't let himself feel otherwise either, not wanting to let his Father and brothers win by giving up.

But even with his mind full of emotions, he still noticed clearly the moment he couldn't Father anymore. At first, he had thought that it was something else to punish him with, as it was the fact that he couldn't hear the song of his brothers either. However, when he became aware of the panic in the high ranks of Heaven, faint as he could sensed it from where he was, he knew that Father had indeed left.

It made him feel smug for many years, accomplished, knowing that he had won in this fight of wills. The feeling didn't last, though; he realized of the consequences from his rebellion when Gabriel, the younger of the archangels, came to his cage to wept golden tears, mumbling about how everything was horrible upstairs as the angels that had followed his cause kept fighting. Their siblings killed each other and Michael commanded them to fight as if they were demons and not the ones they had laughed with. There was at least an angel's death per day and Gabriel, who was The messenger, had finally joined the battle. Not even Raphael was safe from it; they didn't need a healer anymore when demons joined, just soldiers.

Lucifer had never seen Gabriel being nothing but cheerful, always cheerful. It saddened him greatly the sight of the wings dropping beside the brilliant form that Lucifer could still see even with the amount of cloaks that his little brother had used to hide himself from demons and angels. One of the tricks he had taught the younger many centuries ago.

Gabriel looked up at the sky, and smiled miserably for a long time. Lucifer could feel his grace full of disappointment and longing, yearning for the family they once were. 'Heaven does not longer feel like home anymore' were the last words Lucifer heard before his little brother left; adding one layer more at the cloak so not even Lucifer could see through it.

That had been the only time he had wanted to give up and pray for his father, to tell him that He had won, stop everything, please. He had never truly wanted this for his brothers; he just wanted their Father to be the one to suffer.

He spent a few years thinking about what he had done; he didn't have other things to entertain himself in that Cage after all. Earth was a blur above him, Heaven even fainter for him to glimpse; Hell being the only view he could see clearly. He thought that it had something to do with the fact that Hell chapped itself following the true form of their ruler; position that had belonged to Lucifer since the moment his grace had touched it. Therefore, even though no one could see nor hear him from the outside, he still saw, heard, and felt everything around him with the same clarity as he saw his wings growing more deteriorated by each decade it passed.

He once mentioned to Sam how accurate humans were in their belief that Hell was a place where your only friends were desperation and pain; a never-ending torture full of blazing fire and brimstone that burnt cold like his wings, instead of producing the heath most would have thought Hell possessed. Engulfing all its territory into a complete darkness, with the echoing cries of souls as the only symphony you'd be able to hear for centuries until you became powerful enough to manage a few trips to earth. Sam knew this, but at the time Lucifer had explained it, he hadn't felt comfortable enough around him to ask for more, as he did now.

So yes, there was sulphur lingering as dark smoke in the air, so dense that you'll choke at your attempts to breathe it. But no, it didn't taste like smog; more like blood mixed with sweat, and even the sheer desperation the souls felt left a unique taste in the air. Um, yes, the permanent sound belonged to the mutilated cries of souls; after all, torture was the usual hobby most demons used to liberate stress. He hadn't known what to answer at first when Sam asked him if it rained in Hell. Do it counts if the rain that pours is acid? Oh, then yes. It rains.

Lucifer agreed with Sam when he mentioned how boring it would be to be in the Cage. Because it was true, after many centuries down there, it became dull and tiring to watch the same thing from inside a metaphorical box, even Lucifer's anger began to lessen from him. It didn't mean that he stopped his attempts of escaping, though; instead, it led him to analyze better his situation, to think clearer.

He decided to be patient, to concentrate all his power for years until he could liberate it in one small spot. It weakened him greatly for some time, leaving his wings ruffled and tired, but he was able to concentrate the necessary energy all over again after some rest. It passed millennia before a crack finally appeared in one of the walls. A few more centuries until he was one pull of his grace away from freedom.

His excitement only lasted a few days, though, as the brother he had never thought would visit him, appeared on the top of his cage, on earth. It was a lot of harder for him to look at something that it wasn't Hell, but Lucifer tried. Turning all his eyes up, pressing them to the walls. Smugness pouring from his grace when he felt Michael's eyes on him, too; he knew that their father was the one who had created the Cage and therefore the only one who knew its structure. Michael couldn't repair it without Dad's help.

He accommodated in his cell and was ready to hear Michael's lecture about how he was a bad son, and needed to accept the responsibility of his actions, or maybe about how hordes of Heaven were waiting for him to escape, ready to attack. It came none of that.

"The sound of Gabriel's horn is supposed to announce when the Apocalypse is near, but our brother is no longer Home," he started, his voice holding a weariness Lucifer hadn't heard before. "Almost at the same time our Father left."

"No longer home." Lucifer scoffed, talking even when he knew that Michael couldn't hear him. "Nice wording. You make it sound as if it wasn't intentional when it's more like our little brother escaped."

"I am tired, Lucifer. Too tired of this petty fight that will only end in destruction." Lucifer's heads moved closer to where Michael was, confused. He hadn't expected that. "When you finally get out I will not fight you, brother. But if you create havoc on earth I will not have more choice but to do so."

Lucifer brushed his grace against the crack on the wall, surprised when Michael's grace followed the path he made; they couldn't touch but his brother seemed to be able to sense him.

"Lucifer, please, will you think about it?" Michael almost pleaded, grace still shinning before it recoiled into itself and left.

And he did think about it, because he was also tired. He was still mad at their father because He had called humans His most beloved creation, because He wanted them to bow. He wanted Lucifer to bow before them! To proclaim that some monkeys were better than his brethren. It was true that Lucifer admitted a few centuries ago that he might have taken it out with the humans instead of dealing directly with his father. He didn't deny either that he still wanted to do it, but didn't see any purpose in destroy all humanity if their father wasn't there to look.

So he waited a few years more before he decided to escape, thinking.

From the moment he started to pour his grace into the crack, Michael appeared on top, waiting patiently as Lucifer continued with his work until the wall was completely destroyed. It had been difficult to not rush and use all his energy considering how close he was from the freedom he yearned. And how good had been to see it fall. He took a second to appreciate his surroundings before he finally turned towards his brother, feeling longing deep inside of him despite all.

Lucifer's numerous eyes wanted to weep once they landed upon the brilliant form Michael wore. The tiny vessel with soft delicate features that contrasted with Michael sharp grace, make his brother look marvelous next to the wings that spread high and wide at the sides. Her hair was a brilliant blonde that looked like a halo; her skin shone stunningly from the inside because of Michael's pure grace. Lucifer didn't have the courage to see his own form, afraid of what he would contemplate.

He told Sam how once upon a time he was the most beautiful angel that ever existed, referred as the most virtue of all his brethren, with a grace that shone almost as brightly as God's did. He who had been allowed to sit alongside Him in the earlier days of creation; the days when innocence and beauty were used to describe the powerful flame his wings possessed. However, once he had fell, his wings started to burn differently too. Not in the usual gold and orange colors that had been more beautiful that the precious gems that formed Gabriel's earthly wings.

Now the touch that once had been warm burned cold; the candid, livid colors that had gained him once the title of bringer of Dawn were now shades of blue and turquoise that reminded him of the brother that had given him his back. Even if his wings were still bright, there was a clear taint in them caused by his time spent in Hell's Cage that not even the purity of Raphael's wings, that once could heal everything they touched, possessed the power to clean him.

It disgusted him now to watch the contrast between his once perfect wings deteriorated by millennia with Michael's pure ones.

"What have you decide, brother?" she asked, her true voice leaking from the human vessel that could barely hold her grace.

Lucifer smiled but didn't speak, not wanting his true voice to be heard by all Hell. He moved closer to Michael, not surprised when she didn't step back, and grabbed one hair from her head, using it to make himself a vessel. He chose to create a male because he wanted to have at least the height to use at his favor. One of the tricks he had seen many demons use before.

"I think I would accept," he spoke slowly, trying to get used to the vocal cords. "But I do not want to owe you anything, Michael."

His brother frowned. "And you would not."

"Oh, but we both know that you could use it against me whenever you want. I will not give you the advantage, Michael." Lucifer smirked when Michael's grace flared up, almost unnoticeable.

"That sounds more like you than me, Lucifer."

"If you want me to accept, then ask for something, Michael."

Michael smiled slightly and chose to think for several seconds before deciding to glance down; Lucifer followed her line of sigh, curious, but found nothing but horror and agony in Hell.

"I want the souls of the ones who do not belong to Hell."

Lucifer blinked in surprise. "Have you forgotten that it was Father the one who decreed who will go down the pit?"

"Of course not. But, wasn't our mission to protect those who cannot protect themselves?"

"And it had worked so well before, right?" Lucifer mocked, remembering all the wars he had seen angels bring down to earth.

"Perhaps Father's departure is meant to teach us something," she said with a pensive tone and Lucifer wanted to leave, not wanting to continue this old, boring charade. "Time has changed; I want to try different things."

"Fine, fine. You want the souls? You'll have them. But in my opinion all belong there." Lucifer looked down, a mischievous smile slowly formed when an idea occurred him.

"What if we do this then." He hummed. "I will give you the souls after they had spent certain time in Hell; if the souls are weak and turn into demons quickly, you cannot have them, but if they last, then they are all yours."

Lucifer could felt clearly Sam's glare when he said that. He merely smirked, shrugging an arm as he snuggled him closer.

"Michael agreed to return after a few years had passed." Sam rolled his eyes. "But it was a surprise to see my brother again because we never decided a day to meet."

Sam's soul glinted adorably, tiny sparks brushed his grace making Lucifer want to press him closer. "But what if a soul that doesn't belong to Hell goes there just by the time Michael asks for them?"

"Well, then they're lucky." Lucifer felt an annoyed puff of breath on his neck when he playfully didn't let Sam move away. He just huffed and writhed searching a good spot for him to settle next to Lucifer

"Your suit is uncomfortable," he commented instead of telling him to back off. Lucifer startled Sam when he waved a hand and copied his clothes. "So I guess that you're going to sleep here then?"

"I don't need to sleep."

The feeling of the tip of Sam's nose brushing on his chin when he raised his head was pleasing. "That means that you can?"

"Yes, but I won't."

Sam tried to move his head enough to see him, but he went to his previous position when he realized how close they would be. "Why?"

"Because I don't like to."

"So you're going to be like a creep and stay awake while I sleep?"

"I'm not a creep," Lucifer said stroking Sam's hair, enjoying how he leaned into his touch. "I'm Hell's ruler."

"Uh-huh. The title kind of loses its charm when one realizes that you love Disney movies."

"Pixar and DreamWorks have lovely animation too." Sam laughed and settled in a more comfortable position, his head on Lucifer's chest.

They stayed awake in silence for several minutes, Lucifer happy to just feel Sam's soul content and calm beside him, hearing his pulse and respiration slowing as the tiredness of sleep began to grow. But then half an hour had passed, and Lucifer became worried when Sam didn't fell asleep after

"Sam?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm really tired but I can't sleep."

"Is it because I'm here?" The way Sam's soul pressed closer was enough answer. "Do you want me to help you sleep then?"

"You already told me a story and It didn't work out, are you going to sing me now?" He yawned. "Because now I'm ready to accept anything."

"If you want to, I can. Though I think it would be easier if I just did this." He touched the back of his head and Sam fell asleep instantly. Lucifer chuckled and brushed a kiss on his forehead before closing his eyes with a tiny curl of lips.

- x -

Sam and other more patients did a movie night every few days; a tradition no one exactly knew who had started but still loved to do it. Twice a week a patient gets to choose which movie to watch based in their alphabetical order─ if someone stays for a short period of time, they get benefits to choose first than others. The good thing was that nothing stopped you if you wanted to leave or to decline you turn. It was an optional time to bond and have a good time.

It was Lisa's turn. She had passed her previous chances before but this time didn't; Sam thought that it had something to do with the fact that she was going to leave soon.

She smirked as she stood up, pulling from her bag some romantic comedy movie for all to watch. She had told him before that she just wanted to cheer up the new patients with the comments she knew would come out from watching it. Sam usually didn't stay because of the crowd but Lisa was his friend (He was trying to make friends again), so he sat with everyone else on the seat that was behind every other, even though he felt awful.

He was getting used to, though, it was becoming common from him to feel really tired lately and not be able to sleep; when he finally did, nightmares awoke him covered in sweat. There was some kind of irony in the fact that he could only find some kind of peace in the Devil's arms. Lucifer only needed to brush his fingertips on his forehead for him to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Because of the headache, he couldn't concentrate in the words really well, so he merely conformed in just hearing the background noise of the movie. He didn't even dare to try to eat some pop corn, afraid of throwing up. He still didn't know how anyone hadn't caught him yet in one of his frequent trips to the bathroom. But even with pain he still found the strength to turn his head slightly when he heard the familiar flutter of wings.

"Hello, Sam." Lucifer smiled as he made a chair appear next to his and sat, positioning his arm loosely behind Sam's shoulders. He frowned at it for a second before he rolled with it and decided to use Lucifer's cold skin at his advantage. "Are we watching something good?"

"Well, Lisa told me it was really funny."

Sam would usually put his act and interact with others even with the headache, but he liked more to see them all like this from afar, hearing the laughs of the people in front of him as they mocked about some cheesy lines; and besides, there wasn't any nurse present. Missouri was in charge that night and she had a sixth sense that made her know when someone was doing something suspicious, so it wasn't necessary for her to be with them every single moment.

Sam unconsciously started to lean more into his Lucifer's shoulder, closing his eyes and wanting to escape from the heat that even in then cool night seemed to be in the room.

He felt how a hand started to brush his forehead at the same time a soft weight rested on him, the contrast making him shiver against his will at the first contact. "You're burning, Sam," Lucifer said when Sam moved away.

Sam sighed and turned towards Lucifer's face, leaning closer into him, not wanting him to think that the touch was uncomfortable. "Was that your wing?"

"Yes," he whispered back, lips close to his hairline. "Does it bother you?"

"It's okay, I kind of like it." Sam closed his eyes against Lucifer's shoulder as he let the other watch the movie; every once in a while feeling fluttering touches ghosting absently the free skin they could find.

Sam had noticed in the time he had known Lucifer that he was a being of tact, using always small touches to obtain his attention or to simply communicate something. He remembered having read somewhere about how tact could be used as a method of manipulation. He didn't know if Lucifer did it with that end in mind or if after having spent so much time seclude from everyone in the Cage he now craved it. Something told him that it was a combination of both.

Lucifer's first touches had a purpose on them, but he couldn't remember when that changed. He was now always considerate and gentle around him even if it wasn't in his nature to be like that, just doing it for Sam's comfort, knowing how uncomfortable he could get because of them. Though sometimes he even looked surprise when he did something too gentle.

He had tried to deny it at first, but it was becoming more evident with every day it passed that their relationship was growing. Sam didn't mind, thing that may be a problem, but he liked Lucifer, someone whom he had become friends with. He still didn't know if what he felt was love or if he was just trying to please Lucifer by giving him whatever he wanted so he wouldn't leave him, which now seemed to be Sam. And that only made him feel guiltier.

The only serious relationship he had was with Jess and it also started from a friendship. Sam had always admired her; she was kind and gentle since the beginning, with a strong and charming personality. She knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to achieve her goals. She was so secure of herself and had been there when he needed support, adding light into his life. Sam loved her. But the circumstances were now different because Sam wasn't fine; he knew that Lucifer was someone extremely powerful with limited patience who wouldn't wait until he was okay, that if he ever did.

Lucifer startled him when he stroked the back of his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he croaked, realizing that he was starting to sweat. He cleared his dry throat to repeat the answer. "Yes."

"I don't believe you, you know." Sam didn't bother to argue. "Perhaps you need some sleep? You look weary, Sam."

Sam hadn't mentioned to him how he couldn't sleep really well without him at his side to put him down; Lucifer was busier than before, keeping the demons in line as he tried to figure who was the one leading others against him; Sam didn't want to troubled him more. He looked around with blurry eyes and saw the concentrated faces of the others as they kept watching the movie. He wanted to stay and be around more time but he did feel tired and wanted to take advantage of Lucifer's presence that night.

He stood up. "Sorry, guys, but I'll go to bed early."

Shushing sounds and pop corn was thrown at his direction because he interrupted as one of the characters was declaring their undying love. Sam laughed silently and held a hand in Lucifer's direction to stop him in case he decided to do something about this attack. But the chair he created from thin air was gone, as his owner. He panicked for a moment but stopped when Lisa walked towards him, a smirk on her lips.

"Told you that they were going to love it."

"Yeah, you did." Sam smiled, pushing a little pop corn from his shoulder. She didn't seem to notice his nervousness; her attention was still on the TV.

"Everyone says that they hate sappy movies but once they're down to it..." She shrugged.

"I think that now I owe you one pudding?"

"Tomorrow I'll haunt you until that pudding is in my hands." She then winked and returned towards her seat, the couch made a sound, which gained her some pop corn throwing too.

Once alone he tried to ignore his heart's beat as he looked around but found nothing. He decided to walk at a faster pace towards his room, expecting to see him there. He swallowed once he was outside his door, noticing how his hand trembled slightly before he decided to open; sighing in relief when he saw Lucifer on top of the bed, wearing clothes similar to the one he had.

Sam closed the door and scoffed when Lucifer pated the spot beside him playfully. Without any warning, Sam climbed the bed and surprised himself when he separated Lucifer's legs so he could lie on top of him, his head on Lucifer's chest.

He swallowed when he realized of what he had done.

"Are we feeling a little bold today, aren't we, Sam?" He could hear Lucifer's smile in his voice, a hint of concern in it, too. Luckily, he didn't do any more comments about his weird behavior, which Sam appreciated. "Is something wrong?"

Sam wanted to told him how utterly lost he had felt the last few days, how the times where his anxiety grew were becoming often; but he didn't want Lucifer to think that he was losing it, like Sam already thought. Lucifer noticed how uncomfortable he got by the question so he tried to distract him by sliding his hand on a spot of free skin his shirt didn't cover, making Sam jump at the coldness of Lucifer's hand.

"You told me that today it was your turn to talk with your doctor, how that went?"

Sam sighed in relief when the other hand moved towards the back of his head. "Well, he finally asked me subtly if I was hallucinating."

"And you didn't tell him about me, I assume." Lucifer hummed. "I feel a little left out, you know."

Sam scoffed a laugh as he stood up slightly to settle into a more comfortable position, trying to ignore how his head hurt whenever he moved. Lucifer's eyes were filled with amusement as he saw him trying to not lean with all his weight. He placed a hand on Sam's lower back before he pulled him in. Sam yelped and his elbow saved him from falling completely into him but made him closer to his jaw.

"Hey!"

Lucifer kissed his cheek, easing the pain on his head. "Don't be afraid of placing all your weight on me, Sam."

Sam blinked as his mind went clearer, less throbbing, and distracting. I made him realize of the position they were in; the warmth of Lucifer's legs spread at his sides, the way his chest moved from his chuckles, the bulk of his crotch against his stomach. Sam swallowed and tried to move differently, it only brought his own closer. Lucifer's quiet laugh near his ear, made it worse.

Feeling his face and neck burning hot, Sam blurted, "I can't have sex."

Fingers taped on his side and Lucifer's head moved at the side to chuckle. "Oh, I like were your mind is going," he said, his head turning towards him, brushing the side of Sam's neck with his lips. Lucifer hummed and Sam swallowed when fingers trailed down his spine, lips moving close to his own. Sam's hand went towards Lucifer's hair, but before he could lean forward, Lucifer retreated with a smile. "I was referring that your weight doesn't bother me, though. I've lifted heavier things."

Sam's head fell on Lucifer' neck.

"Oh, fuck, I hate you." Sam's voice came muffled and even if it didn't bother Lucifer, it was still a little odd to put all his weight on him considering that Sam was a couple of inches taller, but the cool skin felt really nice.

"Sam your temperature keeps rising," he said when Sam pressed his sweaty hand on the back of Lucifer's neck. "How are you feeling?"

"I think I've the flu." His throat felt dry and sore; his body, heavy all day. It wouldn't surprise him. "It'll be over tomorrow, you don't need to heal me now."

"You don't wish me to heal you?" There was worry in his tone.

"Well, your skin is really cool and I'm─" Sam cleared his tone. "It feels a little nice."

A yelp escaped from his lips when Lucifer's hand moved under his shirt, going from his lower back to his shoulder blades. "So you prefer to suffer like this than to let me ease the pain in your head? That can't be healthy, you know."

He took a deep breath. "Can we continue what we were talking about?"

"If you want." Lucifer chuckled. "Though I'm really curious, if you've let me stay with you to watch a movie while all the other patients were around us, does that mean that your dear doctor doesn't think that you're hallucinating then?"

Sam turned his head so Lucifer's shirt wouldn't bother his breathing. "Well, I think he still suspects but he probably bought what I told him about practicing some conversations so I could get used to talk with others."

"That's not a lie, you do that, and I think it's far more peculiar than having hallucinations."

Sam frowned at the wall. "Yeah, my doctor now thinks I should make friends outside the hospital; maybe reunite with some of my Stanford's ex-classmates."

"Oh, yes. I haven't seen any of them in all the time I've visited you," Lucifer commented. "Not even when I appeared in the old house."

"I, well, I don't wish to see them." He flinched at how coward he had sounded to his ears. "They don't know I'm here."

"Why?" Lucifer asked, playing with Sam's hair with his free hand.

For some reason, Sam remembered the calls he and Dean used to have his first weeks in college. The usual topic was how both of them considered weird to spend so much time in one place: Sam in college and Dean working. They were already used to move around because of their Dad, so it was understandable. He had tried to fit but never felt really comfortable in Stanford until he had met Jess and it became easier to be around others; but almost two years had already passed since he left and he no longer saw the point in returning when he had finally managed to leave that life behind.

"I think I wouldn't know what to say if they asked me what happened or how am I," he answered honestly. "They're a reminder of what I lost and I think it would hurt to see them. I miss going to classes, though." Sam's face returned to Lucifer's shirt to confess something he had never told anyone, "I want to keep studying."

Lucifer hummed against his hair. "Do you plan in return?"

"Not there," Sam answered a little too quickly, feeling the anxiety creeping into him. "But yes, I'd like to."

Lucifer stroked his back reassuringly, helping him to relax his erratic heartbeat. "But you still need a friend to show your doctor that you're progressing, yes?"

"He didn't say that." Sam frowned. "He only thought that it would be good for me to make more friends. I get your point but I don't have any friends besides some of the patients and a couple of neighbors."

The way Lucifer chuckled for some reason made Sam afraid.

- x -

"Since when have you met Sam, Mr...?" the doctor trailed off as he looked through his papers.

"Luke Morningstar." Lucifer grinned, reclining into the chair a little more. "I've already filled all the papers that were requested, or there is something more, Dr. Simigh?"

"This is just a formality." He placed his interlaced fingers on the desk. "Though you do understand that what Sam doesn't need right now is more stress, right?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "What are you insinuating, doctor?"

"Sam has never mentioned you, my apologies if I'm being a little rude. But you must understand that I've to protect my patient."

"I have been Sam's friend for a very long time; I've been worried about him since he got out of Stanford."

"And I guess that now that you've finished your studies, you're able to finally find the time to see him," he asked, looking through the papers he had filled with just a movement of a hand.

"Exactly. Now the law firm I'm working on is really close from here and I wanted to see my old friend." Lucifer smiled sweetly, and if the doctor ignored some other formalities then, well, his lack of patience may be the one to blame.

He was led into a white room filled with tables and chairs; two guards stood in opposite corners were a couple more of patients were with visits. He waited on his seat, a hand under his chin as he kept looking at the other door that led into the patient's wards. Excitement made his vessel's heart leap when he sensed Sam's soul near, full of confusion and fatigue. A nurse opened the doors and it didn't take Sam any time to notice him. His face was priceless when Lucifer waved a hand.

"Hello, Sam."

Sam gave him a tight smile and turned towards the nurse. "Thanks, Roger." The nurse nodded and left, not without throwing Lucifer a curious glance before. By the time they were out of earshot, Sam was already leaning to whisper somewhat harshly, "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Nice choice of words." He moved his fingers on top of Sam's hand, which were under the table, and started to playfully tap at them to calm him. It hadn't escape from his notice how red Sam's cheeks were, nor the way his eyes were slightly unfocused and watery.

"I'm serious." Sam gave a quick glance around before he bit his lower lip and looked down to their hands. "Why are you here?"

"Well, you did mention that your doctor wanted you to make more friends." He gestured at himself. "Well, here I am."

"That was two days ago." Sam rubbed his face with his free hand. "Yes, I know, but Luc─" He looked up at him. "What name did you chose to, um…"

"I'm Luke Morningstar now."

Sam's lips twitched. "Morningstar?"

"It's the meaning in English of my real name."

"Oh, I didn't know that." He looked ashamed. "But, still. Luke, you need a real identity, if they realize that your persona isn't real, then…"

Lucifer placed a hand on his chest in mock hurt. "Sam, have you forgotten who I am?" He leaned close, a smile on his lips. "I've reality at my fingertips to play with."

Sam swallowed and looked at his left, sitting upright when a nurse turned towards them. "So you created a new identity?"

"Yes, here you've your old friend from college, who is now working in a law firm close from here."

"Well then, thank you," Sam said with a tired smile, his breath becoming a little more elaborated. "I know that it wasn't necessary for you to do it."

Lucifer frowned as he felt an odd mix of emotions fighting between each other inside Sam's soul. He touched his hand again, stopping him from getting dizzy. "Sam, are you okay?"

"Um?" He looked up, rubbed his temples gently. "I just have a headache and, well…" He shrugged. There was a certain edge on his soul that Lucifer hadn't felt two days ago. Sam started to cough, his hand kept rubbing his forehead persistently. Lucifer moved his hand towards him, but halted when a sob escaped Sam. "Could you heal me, please?" he pleaded in a broken tone. "I can't. I just─ please."

Lucifer touched Sam's cheek and poured his grace inside him to cure him, trying to cleanse whatever it was that affected him. He didn't notice anything too abnormal in him, which worried him even more. Or perhaps Lucifer was overreacting, humans bodies were really weak after all.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked when Sam breathed in relief, slowly blinking the tears away. He nodded against his hand, leaning into him when Lucifer pressed his palm on Sam's back. Sam sighed and curled as the tension drained from him. Then he started shivering; Lucifer was worried that it was because of his skin. He warmed it slightly but Sam pressed a hand on his tight to stop him.

"It's not you," Sam whispered, "I've been trembling since this morning."

Lucifer didn't bother to throw a glance at the guards when they came closer; he slid his wing on top of Sam instead and, with a thought, stopped them from moving, commanding them to ignore them. He rubbed Sam's back as he tried to even out his respiration, his hand holding the shirt Lucifer had chosen to wear so tightly, nails digging into his skin. If he were human he would certainly be already in pain.

"I've told you before that my brother, Michael, hears everyone's prayers now that God is no longer in Heaven, remember?" Lucifer kissed the top of Sam's head, stopping the shivering instantly.

Sam let a shaky breath. "Yeah, you mentioned it."

"Well, all angels are able to hear prayers; when it's directed to one in specific, they're louder."

"Are you trying to say that…?"

"I'm still an angel even if I've fallen, Sam. I can hear prayers too."

Sam scoffed, his soul lightening slightly. "Is this the angel version of exchanging numbers?"

"I think you're referring to cells phones." He smiled. "I just want you to know that if you ever need me, you can just pray me. I'll always come."

Sam stayed quiet for a few seconds, then he clutched his shirt a little tighter.

"Always is a big word, Lucifer."

"I've lived since the beginning of time. I think I know what always means."

Sam sat a little upright, enough for him to see his face. "Are you sure? Because I remember you say once that you didn't like moping people."

"Well, you seem to be the exception to the rule. I still like you better when you're not moping, though."

"So... you don't mind?"

"As long as you mop only when I'm around."

Sam choked a laugh and Lucifer moved a finger to clean the tear's strains that rolled down his cheeks. Sam used that to lean down to kiss him briefly, murmuring a thanks against his lips. Lucifer smiled and waved a hand to erase the memory of everyone around them, not wanting to cause problems to Sam. He had told that he hadn't seen Sam in a long time; it'd only raise more questions if others tell Sam's doctor that they had saw him kissing him.

- x -

Sam was washing his face in the sink; his reflection showed him how pale he got after finishing throwing up in the bathroom. Ignoring how his head hurt and his weak legs, Sam retreated towards his bed; he just want to lie there until he wouldn't feel so dizzy anymore. Lucifer had visited him yesterday in the night to help him sleep so he was pretty sure he wouldn't return yet. He sighed. He couldn't remember when his thoughts had changed from the happiness he used to feel just by thinking that Lucifer would return to dread; worried that he continued seeing Sam in a worse state each time.

He clenched his fists. He hated that feeling. He hated growing too close to someone until he started to get worried about when they would leave. Sam knew, rationally, that he didn't have to be worried because Lucifer knew him very well and was just concerned, but at the same time, his brain couldn't stop thinking what would happen if he did something that was weirder from his usual self. He was afraid to lose everyone around him.

Involuntarily he pressed his nails against the skin on his ribs, stopping when a knock on the door made him jump, startled. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair before opening the door. Maintaining his smile small, worried that the bags under his eyes would be more noticeable if his smile was too broad.

"Good morning, Sam."

Sam threw a quick glance at the hall before he answered. "Hi, Meg."

She smiled as she handed him a book he hadn't noticed before she had under her arm. "Thank you, it was really good." Sam received the object, confused, and looked down at it; he didn't remember having seen it before.

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand."

"Don't you remember that I asked you to recommend me a book and you gave me this one?" Sam blinked, trying to remem- Oh, right. He looked down at the book again.

"Yes, I remember, but Meg." He moved the book from one hand to another. "This isn't my book."

She didn't look surprised when she sighed. "I'm sorry, one of the nurses also gave me one book; I think I grabbed the wrong one."

Sam smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, you can return it another day."

"But the book is in my locker." She gestured the side of the hall where the staff's bathroom was. "I'll go and return it to you immediately, but my shift is going to start soon and..."

"As I said before, you don't need to worry."

Her lips twitched slightly in her usual smile. "But I'll feel bad, Sam. If you could accompany me, then I would give it to you."

Sam tilted his head; something he had picked from Lucifer. "Are you sure is okay for me to─"

She waved a hand. "Yeah, sure. Besides, I need to go there to grab something too."

Sam shrugged and followed her as she started to walk. He had never seen the interior of the room where all the nurses and doctors use to leave their things and showered, so he was truly curious to see how different it was from the one that was for patients. At first he thought that he would only get a glimpse of the room when Meg opened the door, but for his surprise she motioned him to enter.

She winked. "I know that you're curious."

Sam chuckled but went inside and looked around the room; it was bigger than the he had thought. The lockers where in the far side, so they wouldn't get wet. Magdolna went there and opened her locker, but before she could pull the door, they both heard the voice of the head of the nurses walking closer, giving instructions to some kind of cell.

They both looked at each other with widened eyes. "I'll distract her; you change the books and stay here until I return and tell you it's good, okay?" she said quickly in hushed tones, Sam nodded and grabbed the book from her hand.

She ran towards the nurse and Sam could barely hear the words they exchanged. He opened her locker's door carefully, afraid that it would make a sound. He saw his book on top of her stuff and took it out too quickly, making some of Meg's stuff fall. He glanced around, hoping that no one had heard him before he knelt and grabbed all the things from the floor. His hand stopped when he saw her razor, though.

He took a deep breath as his fingers brushed the edge, closing his eyes as he thought in the possibilities. He tore his hand away and clenched his fist, not wanting to see them shaking; he took a breath and opened his eyes, blinking a few times to stop them from watering. He remembered the blood, the calm.

Magdolna would notice if he took her razor, he thought, repeating the sentence over and over in his head while he grabbed the razor and returned it from where it had fallen among the other things. He heard a sound and Sam's head jerked towards it. He decided that he would hide while he waited until Magdolna came. Looking at his surroundings, Sam noticed a good spot in a corner next to the lockers with a trash in front that seemed to have enough space for him.

He moved the little trash full of bottles, papers, and other things, to hide. But when he stood in the spot and returned the trash in its place he blinked, noticing another razor that it was similar to the one he had seen in Magdolna's locker, the only difference was that this looked less new, the edge not longer so sharp. He swallowed and heard another sound. It was something from the spur of the moment that he decided to grab the razor and place it between the pages of the book. He accidentally cut the tip of his finger but it didn't bleed, making it easier to hide it when Meg came for him.

- x -

Lucifer had checked already twice the house of Robert Singer and Ellen Harvelle before he decided to retreat; there weren't any demons in all Sioux Falls. He then gave new orders at the ones he saw lingering close just in case, not wanting to made it know that he was protecting the place. He even placed a thin layer of grace on top of the recurrent places Sam went so he'd know when a demon went closer. He already checked the hospital whenever he visited Sam.

He was sure that he had smell sulfur on Sam, it may be a coincidence, but he got angry just by thinking that there could be one trying to lay a finger on Sam.

It was obvious that Hell was becoming more unstable if you knew where to look at, and Lucifer had to spend more time down there because of that─ keeping the demons in line as he killed and questioned the ones that went against him. But even with all the work he had to get done in Hell, he still visited Sam, not caring that he'd have to compensate it later. Few hours on earth were days in Hell; it gave time for demons to regroup. The idea of changing the current of time in Hell had started to appeal him, if he hadn't done it was because of the many consequences that it'd carry such action.

Nevertheless, Lucifer wanted to be a little more time with Sam. As he had told him before, he enjoyed his presence, the feeling of his soul. And as the feeling kept growing, there was certain worry in him that did the same too, worry that others could use Sam against him.

Lucifer felt that the hospital was a little shaken for some reason, so he decided to appear in the epicenter of it after delegating some of his work. He was relieved when he noticed that Sam wasn't involved in anything that had made the doctors so troubled. He looked over the shoulder of a nurse and read a paper about some dead body they were transporting to the morgue. He decided then to appear in Sam's room, frowning when he saw him looking at a book on his lap without actually reading it.

"Are you okay?"

Sam jumped at his words.

"What─? Oh, hi." Lucifer leaned down to kiss Sam's forehead, humming when Sam tried to smile. He'd have told him how he didn't need to try, but he didn't as Sam's soul lightened slightly.

"Do you know what's happening out there?"

"Yeah," he answered quietly, eyes going down to his lap. "They found Ruby outside the hospital; I heard that she died while they moved her to surgery."

Lucifer gently tipped Sam's chin upwards to be able to look him better. "Who is Ruby?"

"She was a patient. I didn't notice that she had left as I always tried to ignore her."

He traced his lips with his thumb when they quirked downwards. "If you ignored her, then why are you sad, Sam?"

Sam licked his lips. "She had also anxiety like I have, but she dealt with it by having sex with others. And, well, we used to be 'friends' the second time I came here. That was before she was released, of course."

"And what happened then?"

"I don't know... When I returned she was also here but it wasn't the same. I felt even more uncomfortable around others and she seemed to do anything to make it worse." He shrugged helplessly. "So I tried to avoid her. Maybe if I had done something else─ if I had tried to talk with her instead of…"

"Sam." He touched his hand as he felt his soul turning dense. "It's not your fault."

Sam didn't seem to believe him, the pain in his eyes only aggravated and Lucifer didn't know what to do. He pulled Sam towards him, onto his lap, when Sam didn't protest but let himself be moved, Lucifer hugged him and left a kiss on his jaw. "It's not your fault," he repeated, stroking Sam's back and soul gently. He huffed and pressed his nose into the crock of Lucifer's neck.

- x -

The nauseous smell of food made Sam give his food to someone else, again, making sure that no nurse saw him while he passed it under the table, swallowing some without chewing when he noticed they threw suspicious looks at him. He still felt the symptoms of the flu on him even when Lucifer had eased it just the day before. He'd have asked his doctor for medicine but he hadn't thought it would last that much, he promised himself to tell him about it the next day in their session.

He returned to his room feeling restless, which was weird considering that all day he had felt really tired, though his headache may be one of the reasons he couldn't get any sleep even if he lied on the bed and closed his eyes. He still tried though.

- x -

Lucifer was curious about this Ruby woman Sam had mentioned, annoyed at the pain she had caused him. He hoped to find the soul still lurking around the body so he could play with it as he walked into the morgue. If it wasn't there, he could always use the body as a medium to call to soul. He had already given Michael many souls; he didn't think he would mind if he took one. That, if she was on Heaven.

He made the doctor inside want to go to eat so he could open the compartment she was in. The small door didn't make any sound a he slid it open, showing him a dead body under a sheet. He tilted his head when he felt something really familiar before he even got the chance to pull the blanket off. Lucifer felt a spark of anger flaring up in him as he introduced his grace brusquely into the body, making it jump. He found a taint inside; there was no trace of the soul.

All Hell heard him as he commanded demons to found the one that had used the girl's body, offering a prize to whoever who brought the demon to him. No one dared to question him; they just followed his orders, running from one place to other, afraid of his wrath. It didn't help that he kept reducing to ashes some of Hell's structures either. Michael even called him once to ask him what the problem was. They had made an agreement that included him not to start the Apocalypse, it was understandable that his brother would be wary of his sudden anger, but Lucifer chose to ignore him; he wasn't destroying earth, after all.

It took him almost two weeks down in Hell for him to calm down, and that only happened after a random demon finally showed the one that had possessed Ruby.

"Oh, my daughter. You thought that Alastair would be your worst nightmare in Hell," he said, leaning into the rack with a dark glare. "But I can make him beg for mercy easily whenever I want."

It had been a really long while since he got the chance to really work with someone as through as he did with her, making the time run slower in Hell, taking his time to enjoy every scream that escaped her. He questioned her about why she had done it too, wanting to know if she had been the one lurking around Sam.

- x -

Lucifer decided to appear behind Sam while he was taking a break from running. He was using a pair of headphones that made him unable to hear the sound of his wings. But when his grace brushed against his soul, Sam turned, smiling faintly when their eyes locked.

"Hey." Sam walked forward, his soul lighter than usual. Lucifer leaned to brush their lips, but to his pleasant surprise, Sam deepened slightly their kiss.

A pleased hum escaped him before backing completely away. "You look happier."

"Do I?"

Sam brow wrinkled, but there was a blush covering his cheeks when he glanced at the side and took his headphones away, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Lucifer hadn't noticed before, but once he gave a carefully look at Sam's soul you could still see the usual weariness in it. It surprised him that he hadn't pay attention before; he merely saw that it was lighter and assumed it meant happiness.

"You looked different for a second," he whispered, feeling puzzled.

"Well, the only different thing is that I ran today, Ellen does leave me do that after I take my pills." Sam frowned. "Though I think it's already time to get more, I think the ones Ellen has are ready to expire."

Sam shook his head "And what about you? Haven't seen you in three days."

"Are you counting the days, Sam?" Lucifer smirked. Any other day, Sam would blush adorably and look down with a sheepish smile, but he seemed to notice that something was wrong. His frown was still there.

Sam's hand closed around his arm, his grip firm and gentle.

"Is everything alright?"

Lucifer pursed his lips, unsure of how to continue. He hadn't told Sam about how he had found residue of demon possession inside Ruby's body. It wasn't because he thought he wouldn't be able to handle it and more like he didn't possess the time to do it. He'd probably end killing Sam if he had showed when he found about it; his rage has always been his downfall.

"Lucifer?"

"I'll be blunt: Ruby was... possessed before she died."

Sam's eyes widened. "What?"

"I was curious about her so I went to the morgue and found out residues that led me to believe that she was possessed."

"I don't under─Since when?"

Lucifer touched Sam and translated them both to the room Bobby had given him, making sure to soundproof it before. Sam didn't say anything, just rubbed his eyes because of the dizziness he always felt whenever Lucifer flew him. He sat next to him on the bed and tried to touch his hand but Sam moved his own away.

"Since when?" he repeated, voice determined but soul trembling.

"She was after the hunter named Rufus. Your friend apparently had exorcised her before and the first thing she did once on earth was to seek vengeance."

Sam laughed dryly, leaning his elbows on his tights so he could hold his head better. "I always thought it was too normal. He told me how hunters don't have a peaceful death and─" He sighed, his body shaking once. Lucifer placed his palm on his back, attempting to show some support as he moved part of his grace against him. He was stirring his wing on top of Sam but the tone of his voice stopped him death. "How do you know all of this?"

Lucifer wing retreated. "What do you mean, Sam?"

"You found out that she was possessed recently, right? Then how do you know all of this?"

"...I searched for the demon, of course."

"And what, that demon just told you the truth from the goodness of its heart?"

Lucifer calmly sat upright and placed his hands on his lap. "What do you want me to say?"

"What do I want you to─?" He stood up, looking everywhere but him. Pacing a couple of steps before leaning his weight on the chair in front of his bed. He took a few breaths before he talked slowly. "It was a simple question."

With chin held high, Lucifer smiled. "I tortured her. Thing I've done many times before, now more frequently, considering the demon's revolt." He tilted his head. "Have you forgotten who I am, Sam?"

Sam's lips formed a thin line as he looked at his left, tears silently watering his eyes. Was it guilt what he was feeling? Lucifer wanted nothing more but to walk forward and erase that expression on his face, to wrap his wings around his body and held him close.

He shouldn't have used a harsh tone.

"It was just a demon, Sam," Lucifer found himself saying, frowning down at himself when the words left his lips.

"A demon is just a human's soul twisted, wasn't that what you told me?"

Lucifer stood and started walking towards him. "Sam."

"Could you go?" even bother to look at him as he spoke, the grip on the chair tightening.

"I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to be alone right now, you're just trying to find someone to blame," Lucifer said gently, stopping walking at a safe distance, trying to not scare Sam away. He couldn't resist holding his right hand high to graze his fingers against Sam's arm. "But I'll go if you really want me to, Sam."

Sam swallowed, moving slightly away from his touch. He clenched his eyes shut. "Please, go."

Lucifer's hand was still in the air when he began closing his fist slowly, his eyes drifting towards Sam's hand before he flew away.

- x -

Sam was in the bathroom of his room when he grabbed the razor between his fingertips, not thinking, just holding it. Clenching his teeth as he breathed through his nose, trying to remember what his doctor had told him a few months back, when he still did it. Sighing, he tried to think in something positive, wanting to immerse in just one happy memory, so he could forget about everything else that plagued him. He thought about how great life could be, how good it was. How there were moments when he could laugh easily and feel so content and light.

Like how he enjoyed to read Jo and tell her stories, inventing new creatures just to heard her giggle; to play games and teach her new things. He liked to help Bobby in the garage because he enjoyed his company and could always picture Dean at his side shaking his head every time he tried to fix a car. Helping Ellen in her bar was fun because of the different types of people that came, all the stories they told, the knowledge they shared.

He knew this, but for some reason he couldn't recall the feelings behind the memories, they just kept slipping away from his hands. He tried to think in something, anything. Like how beautiful were the fireworks in the night. How learning new things always made him curious for more. He wished to see a sky full of stars one day and at least once drive the impala with the music on in all its maximum volume as Dean did when they were young. He wanted to visit Rufus's grave at least once, because without him, he wouldn't have opened again, nor he would have met Lucifer.

Lucifer.

Sam knew who Lucifer was; had a good idea of what he had done and did. He should be scared of him. He really should. The truth was that he simply didn't care, and it terrified him how much he didn't care, because he had grown to like him, maybe something more he didn't want to name. And it was stupid because it all started as a stupid deal, one where he hoped to get killed; go to Hell to receive the punishment he thought he deserved. Instead, they became good friends, thing he hadn't thought possible, but was true. As true as the fact that Sam was falling for him, falling for the possibly worst choice ever in partners in all human history.

He didn't want any of this, but didn't regret it either. He liked Lucifer's laugh and the things it made him feel, how gentle he could be. He loved to feel the light touches of his hands against Sam's skin, his nose against his neck, the way their legs tangled. How he held his hand, always brushing the tips of his fingers first. The feeling of his cool skin against his own. How he always listened to him attentively, as if Sam was saying something important.

He even liked the way he smiled mischievously, making Sam afraid and curious to know what he was thinking.

Sam sighed and glanced tiredly at the razor. He hadn't seen Lucifer since he told him to go, three days ago. He felt so sick. His doctor approved the pills for the flu but they didn't do anything but heal his sore throat. His headache was still there, the shivers, the nausea ─he vomited at least twice a day. How the nurses still hadn't found out, it was a wonder.

He wanted to rest, to sleep and forget everything.

A sob escaped him because, fuck, the nightmares. Sam was afraid to fall sleep because of them. He dreamed of Jess, Dean, their dad, Bobby and Ellen, everyone in his life telling him how pathetic he was.

His grip on the razor tightened.

Most people thought that the ones who self-harm love the pain. Why would they do it if it weren't the case, right? Sam always remembered digging his nails against his palm whenever he felt angry or impotent, even before the doctors diagnosed him with depression. It was just something he did to calm himself and something that became frequent after Jess and Dean died. He hadn't really pay attention at what implied before.

He couldn't exactly recall if he ever thought that that pain wasn't enough and needed something more, but he did remember thinking that if so many people cut themselves to feel better, it would mean that it was true, that it really worked. Maybe at some time, the pain didn't hurt.

So he did it.

He was angry at himself that time, at life. He couldn't stop the broken sobs that escaped him, nor control his breathing. He just wanted it to be over and when he saw his razor next to the tub, well, it was more out of curiosity, really.

He didn't remember how much it hurt, just that not too much. It slightly stung. The first try he hadn't even been able to make the cut bleed, he thought that he was doing something wrong so he repeated the action, trying to press the edge a little deeper, wanting to make only a small cut. He remembered thinking that it would hurt the same if he did it small or larger, so why do it more noticeable?

The second time it did bled. A red line covered the cut and a small drop poured from the border where he pressed the skin. If he wasn't mistaken, he had huffed that time. Because it hurt, even if slightly, it still hurt. There wasn't anything magical about it; it wasn't as some kind of drug that made you feel better or something. Everything was the same.

He sat on the toilet that time, trying to think if he had done something wrong, perhaps you needed some special movement to achieve the pleasure.

But then, he noticed.

His tears had stopped, his breathing was close to normal, he didn't feel so angry, perhaps a little annoyed, but other than that, he was fine. Apparently, at some time he had been so engrossed with the razor, trying to think in how deeper he should do the cut so no one would notice, that he had calmed. It scared him so much because even if it didn't give him pleasure or magic spell to feel better, it did work to focus him in a way other things didn't help. He promised that time to not ever do it again, but then a second time came, and a third. He didn't know when the scratches on his skin didn't help anymore, and he wanted something rougher, to make the lines bigger, deeper. Wanting desperately more─

Sam swallowed.

He knew what would happen if he started cutting himself; if he closed his eyes he could see Bobby and Ellen's disappointed faces, Jo's sad expression when she learnt that Sam was going to stay in a hospital still haunted him, it made him feel sick. He had never seen Lucifer disappointed and was afraid of knowing how it would look directed at him. Nevertheless, he felt angry by how his life depended a lot in others.

He had lied to his doctor, his friends, even a little girl for their benefit while he just kept suffering in silence. He hadn't even been able to finish all his misery from once and all because of others too. They took the decision for him given that they thought it was the best, claiming that their way of thinking was the ideal one; not considering how he would felt about it, how guilty. How every time he saw their faces he would see clearly how they kept blaming themselves for not being able to do something when it wasn't their fault he had given up.

Tears rolled from his eyes as he grabbed the razor firmly. He knew what would happen, he knew that it wouldn't accomplish anything, he knew. He knew. But he was so angry and so disappointed at himself. His head and stomach hurt like hell and he still wanted to throw up. He felt so tired and lonely. His life was just a rollercoaster of emotions Sam couldn't control anymore, dark thoughts always pondering in his mind.

Sam took his pants off and looked at the previous marks he had left before on his legs, ugly pink lines that would always be there, a reminder of how he couldn't stop. He traced one scar and scoffed. He couldn't picture anyone wanting to see, wanting to touch. How would someone love him if he didn't even love himself?

Swallowing, he tried to ignore the itch on his skin and how his fingers flexed, wanting to scratch the scars to see if he could open them with just his nails. He just wanted to feel in control for once, to be the one in charge of his life, of his body. And this helped. The lines he could make could be as perfect as he'd like, as he'd chose. Besides, he was already ugly, why don't add more?

Pressing the edge against his tight, Sam swallowed. He didn't make a cut, not yet; he simply wanted to press the thin metal on his tight strongly without actually breaking the razor. Just concentrating in the pain, in how his heart pounded faster on his ears as he started to make a perfect straight line. He wanted to move it, to make the cut bigger and messier, but refrained to do it. Smiling when he finally took the edge away and saw a trail of blood starting to pour; he grabbed some toilet paper with his left hand to stop it, moving it unnecessarily around, wanting to feel more pain, but avoiding to do a visible mark.

He blew a breath and moved his hand away, feeling how weird his teeth felt after having clenched them too tightly. Sam sighed; his head didn't hurt too much as the other pain took control. There was a hint of hysteria that wanted to escape him as his eyes watered and he started to sob. It was always the same. But he was weak and stupid; he couldn't refrain from grabbing a damn razor from the trash, he wanted to feel good for a few seconds. To feel control as all his rage was concentrated in one point.

Sam laughed harshly at how pathetic he was, how disgusting.

Who would want to be around with someone as messed up as me? he thought, pressing again the toilet paper roughly against his cut, wishing that it was the razor instead in his fingers. He wanted more, to punch, to press once again and other; wanted to grab the edge and cut more deeply, but this time slash the skin. More cuts on his tights, one above the other.

He wondered if he could form a perfect circle with that little thing. Instead, Sam decided to press his fingernails on his head with his left hand, crying, wanting to dig his nails into his sides, scratch his face and neck. He wanted to pull his hair out.

He didn't. He liked when Lucifer stroked his hair, after all.

"Why I always do this, Lucifer?" Sam whispered brokenly to no one, staring at the razor in his hand. He should throw it. He should. But he was a weak, pathetic human.

Hearing the familiar flutter of wings, Sam tensed, shutting his eyes tight when Lucifer started to kneel in front of him. He tried to concentrate in his respiration, not possessing the courage to look up, afraid to find a disappointed face. His mind was searching for some excuse to leave the room, to go outside and wait until Lucifer had left. When he realized that he didn't need an excuse to give and was ready to stand up, Lucifer touched his elbow.

He opened his eyes when the gentle touch slowly moved towards his hand, stroking the top of Sam's palm with his fingertips, grabbing the razor and making it disappear. Lucifer interlaced their fingers and pulled them close to kiss them, ignoring how sweaty his palms were. Sam flinched slightly but finally looked up, seeing the concern written clearly all over his face.

"Sam─"

"Don't." He stopped him, knowing that it wouldn't matter what Lucifer said, Sam would think that was out of pity. "Just don't, please."

Sam turned away when he felt a hand brushing his cheek. Lucifer talked in a language he couldn't understand as he started to embrace him with his wings. Sam wanted to push Lucifer away but he just clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, because he wanted to be held too, to feel the other's presence, afraid that he would go and leave him if Sam moved. He didn't want to lose him, though wouldn't surprise him if he did.

Lucifer cleaned the trail of tears on his cheeks with a napkin, letting a small breath of relief when Sam's lips curled and he leaned tiredly into him. Sam couldn't remember when his pants had been put in place but he noticed it when he started to hug Lucifer, almost desperately, as if he were a drown man trying to grab a float. Lucifer received all of this and even pressed him closer against him, waiting until Sam had calmed down and the sobs had subsided.

"When my brothers and I were young we used to create things," Lucifer whispered against his hair. "Michael took the feathers the younger angels shed to made stars more brilliant, naming them after the owner. Raphael loved to learn from Earth but still tried to remodel some mountains and rivers, giving them more life and beauty that not even humans could ever destroy."

"Gabriel and I though? We created life." Sam could hear Lucifer's smile. "Using our Father's work as a model we made our own animals and plants. Michael thought that Father was going to be angry if it was made known what we had done, but we still did it. It was fun. Blasphemy wasn't in our vocabulary yet."

Sam sighed as he pulled apart, the coolness of Lucifer's wings managing to calm him. He tried to concentrate in the spark of curiosity he felt instead of the tiredness.

"Did God found out?"

Lucifer smiled and Sam felt his wings lingering a little more before they retreated too. "Eventually, yes. What do you think Australia is for?"

Sam scoffed tiredly. "So Australia is like an angelical fridge?"

It startled him when Lucifer started playing with their hands again.

"I don't understand that reference."

He smiled as he kept watching Lucifer; his eyes tired from crying.

- x -

The next time he opened his eyes and looked around he realized that he was no longer in the bathroom, but on his bed, Lucifer next to him, stroking slowly the hair on his neck. The lights were off and he could see faintly the reflection of the moon coming through the small window. Sam didn't know when he had taken a nap but it didn't seem it had passed to long.

"I made the nurses ignore your room when they were announcing dinner, but this is the only the time I'd do it." Lucifer leaned on an elbow, his fingers lingering on his shoulder. "I can snap some food if you want to."

Sam sighed and turned to look up at the white, pale ceiling. Hearing the sound of the watch on the wall, he murmured, "I don't want to be here."

He felt Lucifer tensing. "Sam, I-" He started apologizing, but stopped when Sam shook his head.

"No, I didn't mean that." He glanced up at him and turned his body to the side, feeling the cut sting on his tights. "I just want to go out of this room."

"Well... there is a festival in Brazil that's going to start very soon." Lucifer hummed as he leaned close to brush his nose on Sam's cheek. "Would you like to go with me?"

Sam raised his eyebrows and feeling his throat tight for a second, he asked, "Are you asking me out?"

Lucifer grinned. "Yes, Sam. I'm asking you out."

Sam rubbed his face tiredly with a hand and took a deep breath through his nose, feeling his lips quirking up before he nodded. So what if he was the Devil? Sam still loved him.

"I think I'll like to."

- x -

Lucifer took them to some high place, at the edge of a building, where they could be alone but at the same time they would had a clear view of the festival that was going to start in a few minutes. He could feel Sam's soul vibrating with distress next to him; he wanted to ask and talk more with him but felt that Sam wouldn't appreciate that at moment. There was a hint of fear in his soul and Lucifer didn't like to know that Sam was feeling afraid of him.

"So, you like this type of music?" Sam asked looking down at the different dresses people wore.

"Well, it's a little primitive," Lucifer mentioned, hearing the music that was already playing. The souls under them shone in excitement as some started to dance. "But better from what I expected humans could make."

Instead of arguing as he anticipated, Sam's eyes lit up. "That's right; you're an angel of music."

Lucifer smiled, glad to see Sam's soul lighten. "Yes, I was one of the angels that sang praises to my father, and the best one of all, if I can say it myself."

"I read that you have one of the prettiest voices of all angels. I know it's not your real voice what I'm hearing now..." Sam's soul lit with embarrassment. "Not that the voice you've now isn't good or something."

"Do you like my voice, Sam?"

Sam cleared his throat and looked down at his lips briefly. "But it's not your real one, right?"

"Not, it isn't." Sam's face turned sheepish and Lucifer wanted to kiss him so badly. He knew what he wanted to ask even before he opened his mouth. "I'd love to speak to you with my true voice but I can't, Sam."

"Some angelic rule?"

"Sadly, no. I'd break that rule gladly if that were the case. Is just that humans can't handle our real voices, your eardrums would explode if I tried to talk."

"Yeah, that would be bad." Sam bit his lips, he wanted to add something more but a loud explosion made both of their heads turn. The sky lit up in radiant colors that made him remember of Michael's wings when they were in the Antarctica, but the sight before him wasn't as pleasing and delicate as an aurora; it was something rawer but still dazzling. He couldn't help but think that it would be a fitting comparison between an angel's grace and a human's soul. He glanced at his left and saw Sam looking at the sky with childish adoration as the music playing accompanied the explosions.

"So I guess these are the famous fireworks." Lucifer moved his wing to Sam's side, protecting him from the wind.

"What?"

"I flew close to this place a few days ago and saw that there were papers that mentioned fireworks above there."

Sam's eyebrows quirked in interest. "At what speed do you fly? Because it felt like a second when you flew me here."

"It was almost a second."

Sam snorted and frowned, trying to look where he had pointed. "Those papers are really small, I can barely notice them; you must have a great eye." He resigned when the people started to dance close to those papers, covering the sight of them. "Do you like fireworks then?"

"I've never had the chance to see them by myself. But I remember you telling me how much you liked them."

"Yeah, I like them." He looked up, eyes softening. "Dad and mom used to take Dean and me to watch them in the fourth; after mom died Dad didn't want to go, but that didn't stop Dean from managing to obtain the money so we could go to some road to light the few he bought." Sam sighed. "I haven't seen fireworks in years."

Lucifer waved a hand and made a couch float behind. He smiled when Sam sat next him. "It was okay for us to come here?"

"Yeah," Sam spoke softly as he turned to look at him. "Thanks for bringing me."

Sam's hand curled around his scalp and Lucifer moved when he pulled him in, smiling when he felt Sam's lips on his own. There were really few the times Sam had initiated their kissing, all of them having always having a meaning behind. He felt gratitude in the gesture, but also the love behind too, a sentiment so pure and wonderful. And it was directed solely to him. Lucifer couldn't help but crave for more when Sam's soul reached for him, to deepen their kiss and bath himself in Sam's soul, wrapping it within him. He reached with his grace to brush it, leaving some pieces of him there and Sam's soul lit even brighter.

Sam was almost sitting on his lap by then, legs spread at his sides as he kept pulling him closer.

Lucifer wanted grab him tightly, to keep kissing him until Sam forgot where he was. Marking him for all to see. Making him His.

However, it didn't seem fair considering what had happened a few hours ago. So he stopped, smoothing their kiss, reducing their intensity until he could retreat slightly. Leaving one more chaste kiss at the corner of his lips. Sam was out of breath, flushed and beautiful with his lips slightly red. He cleaned the corner of his lower lip with a thumb and Lucifer huffed a breath in amusement when he noticed Sam's soul still reaching for him slowly, not as desperately as when they kissed.

"Are you okay?"

Lucifer sighed dramatically. "Besides the conscience I seem to have whenever I'm with you? Yes."

"Growing a conscience?" Sam frowned at him for a second before he looked away. "Eh, I don't think you'd be able to coerce me into having sex on the roof of some building."

Lucifer blinked and couldn't avoid the laugh that escaped him, so rich that he could even feel his eyes watering. The way Sam's nervousness turned into a confused amusement made it even better.

"Oh, I love how you've said 'think', Sam." Lucifer stroked the back of Sam's his hair, reaching for him to brush his nose against his neck. "I also love were your mind is going."

Sam pushed his head away. "I can't have sex so stop it!"

Lucifer glanced down at Sam's crotch and hummed. "A shame." Lucifer pushed Sam down to the couch and lay on top of him, changing the gravity surrounding him so he wouldn't weight anything. Sam's confused and surprised face was worth it.

"It would have be a turn off if we kept going and we just remembered in the last moment that I, uh..."

Lucifer smirked. "That you are impotent?"

"It's only because of my pills!" he said between clenched teeth and blushed cheeks. Lucifer kissed him again because he looked adorable.

"Do you really think that I can't erase the medicament of your system with a thought?" Lucifer joked, his grace brushing Sam's body to feel the effect of the pills he took, frowning when he noticed something weird.

"Don't do that. I'd get worse if they're simply taken from me."

He blinked at Sam's serious tone.

"They're gone," Lucifer said. "I can barely feel them in your system."

"What do you mean with that?"

"I always could feel some trace of them." Sam sat upright when the yells of happiness under them became louder and panicked. "That's the reason of your headaches and fever. Your dopamine was lower too and the synapses─"

"Lucifer, what are you doing? The ground is trembling. If you're doing this then stop."

Lucifer didn't hear him. The sudden strength of the emotion blinded him. His teeth were clenched, his body felt small with his anger bubbling his grace into something dangerous. He was ready to burst and destroy. However, he stopped when he felt Sam grabbing his arm, his soul brushing his grace. The fear he sensed startled him, but the worry in Sam was the one that made Lucifer look down, finally noticing how the people were running as the floor trembled. Kids tumbled as they cried for their mothers. Their couch was floating so he hadn't realized that he had made the closest tectonic plates brush against each other, causing a tremor. He waved a hand and stopped it, still trying to calm the anger stirring within him.

Sam laughed nervously. "Well, I hadn't expected that."

Lucifer didn't laugh with him. The anger was still there.

"Sam, we need to go to the hospital. Immediately."

- x -

Sam told Lucifer to go to some place secluded from population to calm down, because even when he said that he was fine, it only took to glance at the sky and see the clouds above to notice that the weather wasn't normal and far from fine. There was a rainy overcast that seemed to follow Lucifer's mood around. Sam had told him that his doctor had probably changed his meds to one that didn't work on him and he hadn't heard when he had told him, distracted as he was because of his headaches. He seriously doubted that, but he'd have said anything at that moment to make Lucifer go away─ not because he wanted to, but he was worried for the people around him.

He had never seen Lucifer like that. The air that surrounded him was heavier, there were sparks of electricity whenever he touched his skin, and his cool blue eyes glinted as he kept looking at his body as if could see right through. Promising a slow death to whoever had done it. It scared him and amazed him at the same time, that he was the cause of that anger.

"So it was true." Sam turned around, startled, and saw Magdolna behind him in the hall.

"I know it's late, but I need to talk with the head nurse. I think they changed my meds and─" She rolled her eyes at his attempt of a smile.

"Okay, moose. Call Lucifer, now." Sam blinked at her tone, noticing for the first time the knife on her hand. "I can't pray to him because I don't have a soul, so you need to do it."

"What?'" Sam tried to step away but she grabbed his arm, stopping him from moving. "Who are you?"

"Don't remember me? I sure remember you, Sammy boy. After all, I was the one who introduced you into your new boy toy life."

She smiled widely, her eyes turning black, and Sam felt a familiar chill run through his body as he looked at her eyes.

"God, you were that demon," he whispered, trying to move his arm away after recognizing that sadistic smile, even if it was in a different body.

"Glad to know that you aren't a lost cause." Sam punched her with all his strength, only managing to move her, but the grip on his arm was still the same. He moved his leg, ready to kick her but felt his body stiffening.

She smiled bloody teeth. "Call Lucifer now."

Sam blinked and couldn't believe how annoyed his next words came. "You know that he's going to kill you, right? He's not exactly in a good mood right now."

"Hard to not notice. Now I've to make sure nothing happens to you because it seems that you were more valuable than I had thought."

"I don't get it."

The expressions on her face had changed completely from what he was used to, but it was the same body he was used to talk to; so that may explain what it was so easier for him to talk back. That or being around Lucifer had already accustomed him to be around powerful beings.

"I've been fooled." She snarled, her smile sharpening. "But I'll get my revenge soon. I need first to clear things out with my lord before some other demon comes and kills you."

"Now, now. What is this?" Sam looked over his shoulder and saw a strange man behind them, his eyes glinted yellow as he looked at Magdolna. "It seems that you've brought him to me, my daughter."

"I've been dying to see you again, Dad. You always knew how important moose was for our Father, didn't you."

The demon started to walk forwards. "Guilty."

"And you think I'm going to give the boy toy to you?" She scoffed. "Azazel, even if you manage to take him from me, do you really think Lucifer isn't going to destroy you when he finds you? Because he will."

"Oh, I'm hoping that he founds me." Her face turned serious when the yellow-eyed demon pulled an old gun from his back. "And I'll use this against him."

"Call Lucifer," she whispered harshly at him and Sam was ready to do it, but he heard the sound of patient screaming far away and shut his mouth instantly. Lucifer barely could refrain himself from doing damage in the annoyed state he was now, if he called him and saw this he'd end destroying the entire place, probably the city.

"No," he whispered back, feeling the grip on his arm tightening.

"That's the spirit, Sam." The demon cheered before turning towards Magdolna, pointing the gun at her. "Now, Meg. I still need some distraction before I can get all the things ready for Lucifer; and you're going to be really helpful."

Sam swallowed as the yellow eyed started chanting some words and saw how black smoke poured from the body next him. Feeling the grip on his arm finally loose, he helped the body to not fall and grabbed the knife. He turned quickly and tried to stab the demon, but found himself pressed against a wall instead, unable to move.

He smiled as he pressed his hand on Sam's chest; he felt a burning sensation in him that started to spread from the place he had touched, making his mind go slowly black. "I'm Azazel, Sam. And I'll be your host tonight."