Quick author's note: Uwaa~ Thank you for the review, Guest-san! (´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ I will continue writing more~ Rest of you readers, don't be shy to critique my work and tell me what you like and do not like! If you're confused about anything, do tell me too! I stopped watching Naruto when Deidara died and I'm running on information from Naruto's Wikia, so my writings may not be very canon! Huehue~ Now, enjoy way #4 on how to piss off Akatsuki! (〜￣▽￣)〜
Information collection is probably the worst kind of mission to accept. Not only does it require ditching the cloak for something more inconspicuous, but it requires you to socialize with normal people, and sadly, violence is not a good way to socialize. Shedding blood may be a good way to spread the Akatsuki's reputation, but it's not always the best strategy.
Being a female definitely has its advantage in some ways, and Pein hasn't fail in using those advantages to his interests.
"So, anything on tonight?" The guy whom I was trying to draw information out of asked me. He leered at me, checking me out.
I felt an internal shudder of disgust. At least he's fallen into the trap. I put on a seductive smile and drank my shots. The loud bass and techno music was grating my eardrums and I couldn't wait to get out of here.
"Maybe?" I teased, stepping closer to him so our legs were touching. I turned to face him, giving him a full view of my rack and leaned into his ears. "Wanna find out?" I whispered.
Immediately, he slid his arm around my waist and led me out of the club. As he planted little, wet kisses on my cheeks and squeezed my ass, all I could think of was how to get back at Pein for this.
The moment I reached the lair, I went straight to Pein's room. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Deidara in the living and heard him call out to me but I ignored him. I slammed the door opened, making it rattle, and glared at Pein. I recited the information that I collected in a particularly threatening voice, mentally killing him throughout.
He simply nodded with an impassive face.
That enraged me even more, but I slammed the door shut anyway. From my past experience, I knew that nothing good will ever come out of battling Pein. I headed back down to the living room.
"Deidara, I need your help." I stated.
"… No." He deadpanned, like as if he knew what I was asking for already. "Nothing good ever comes from helping you, un." He started to shift away from me.
"It wasn't a question." With that, I marched across the room and grabbed the blonde by his shirt before he could make a run for it, and yanked him along behind me.
"Oi, if anyone asks, you did this alone, un." Deidara whispered conspicuously as he helped me set up what I needed.
"Fine," I said. After a brief moment, I added, "coward."
"I'm just smart. No one's as dumb as you to piss off Pein, un." Deidara scoffed. "Okay, I'm done, un."
"Good," I grinned. Fucking Pein's getting what he deserves today… along with anyone else who's unlucky enough to be in the lair, since I'm an asshole like that.
I slid a disc into the hi-5 system that Deidara had installed. He squeezed past me to get out of the air vents, plopping down on the ground. "I'm going first, un." He said.
"Wait!" I called out to him, voice echoing off the vents. "Give me a lift." I'm going to need it if I don't want to get killed.
After pressing the play button, I jumped out of the vents and landed on Deidara's clay bird, which was already taking off.
Apparently, Hidan was still in the lair because I could hear him swearing from all the way up in the sky. But that wasn't what had Deidara and me on our knees laughing our ass off.
Instead, it was a loud, "FUCK YOU, ZURI!" from a voice that belonged to Pein.
I think that's the loudest Pein has ever spoken. I guess Barney just makes us tap into the more animalistic side of ourselves, huh?
Way #oo4: Put speakers in all the air vents that lead to the members' rooms and play the Barney's theme song over and over.