The Slump: Junior detectives

"No, I'm not smoking." Emily removed the cigarette from her mouth, making herself more understandable. "I already told you, I don't want to stop." She rolled her eyes already having heard the same lecture a million times. "Yes, I know you love me."

She arrived at the precinct taking one last drag, throwing the cancer stick in the nearest bin. "The pain is already receding." Making her way to the door, Peralta greeted her with his trademark goofy smile and accompanied wave, holding the door for her open. "I already made an appointment with Doctor Murphey. I love you too, I'll see you tonight. Bye."

They arrived at the elevator both of them entering the box. "Problems at the homefront," Jake asked in a sincere tone.

"You can say something like that." She didn't go further into it.

Peralta had been trying for the last couple of days to get anything out of her. For some reason she didn't like to talk about her personal life, she could joke along with the rest of them, but that was as far as she would go. The detective in him liked to know stuff about his colleagues. Amy was allergic to dogs, Rosa did yoga, Charles used to have a crush on the teapot in Beauty, and the beast and Captain Holt had a dog named Cheddar. They were little things still, he took pride in knowing them.

"So, what's does he do. Is he a cop or anything like that." Peralta asked, "Or something boring like a professor who has his nose in books all day."

"No." She answered.

"I hope he's not a firefighter, like that stuck up prick Boone." Peralta continued not having heard her answer. "Because if that's the case, I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be seen together in public ever again."

"No."

He wasn't going to give up. "Lawyer!, He's a lawyer." He shouted enthusiastically, hoping he got it correct.

"No."

"Oh, is it something embarrassing like a telemarketer, a walking billboard no wait party clown."

Emily gave him a disgusted look. "No, no, and no."

The elevator opened up, arriving at their floor. "Why won't you just tell me, I know nothing about you if we are colleagues it's important to know each other." Peralta started to complain, getting frustrated at dodging of questions. Moving over to their desks, they put their stuff down.

She put her hands under her chin giving him a sly smile. "Simple, I like seeing you squirm. And besides you know that I'm in a relationship so don't say you don't know nothing about me."

"Fine, but mark my words I'll know the name and work of your boyfriend at the end of the day, even if it's the last thing I do." He stated dramatically.

"Good luck, but if I were you, I would focus on the cases you still haven't solved. Your pile is getting a little bit higher every day." She pointed at his unsolved cases document pile. Wich had grown taller in the last couple of days.

"I don't need your good luck. I make my own." He stretched his arms, just a little bit too far plummeting his case files all over the ground.

"Of course, you don't need luck. You have it all under control." She patted Peralta on the shoulder letting him simmer in his own mistake, while she went for a cup of hot coffee.

"For the last time, the best cop movies, in order. Training day, lethal weapon, and Fargo." Amy summed up, to all the detectives that had gathered around Peralta's desk. "End of discussion."

"Wrong." Jake stated "Die hard is the best cop movie of all time. One cop heroically saving the day while everyone else stands around and watches. It's the story of my life."

They had been going on about the best cop movie for the past half hour. Jake had been defending how Die Hard was the pinnacle of cinema. This to annoyance off Amy who couldn't believe how he could praise such a mindless movie. In the end, all detectives were listening to their dispute.

"I like Turner & Hooch." Charles joined the discussion. "Tom Hanks, reluctant friendship with a dog. That hits me where I live." He pointed to his heart to emphasize his point.

"No." Rosa barked. "Robocop. It's got everything I like, Gratuitous violence."

Everybody looked at her to continue. "Oh, I thought you were listing things," Jake said noticing she wasn't going to.

" I was. I'm done."

"Okay." Jake agreed not wanting to anger her.

"Let's talk bad boys." Gina joined the group. "That's the perfect cop movie. Mr. Smith, looking fine. A hot cup of tea Leone. Come on."

"Francois Truffaut's breathless." Terry rolled over. Getting a confused look from everyone nobody ever having heard of the movie. "What? Terry likes foreign films."

"Okay." Jake looked over to DeWitt's desk. "So care to join us in our little discussion." They got no reaction of her too focused on a couple of open folders. "I got it!" Everybody jumped a little at Jake's shout. "He's an actor." He looked expectantly at Emily.

"Not even close." She started closing her folder, putting her attention on the ongoing discussion. Jake grumbled having still not guessed her boyfriend's profession. "And Dirty Harry. Clint Eastwood just being a badass, not giving a fuck, just catching bad guys. What's not to like."

"Okay, There is a correct answer to this question, though" Jake moved closer to his desk, opening a video on his computer. "So gather around for the greatest cop film of all time. Please refrain from texting during our presentation."

Emily moved closer wanting to see what he was talking about, her interest a little bit peaked. The recording was from a dashboard camera on one of the patrol cars. In front of the vehicle stood three, not the most hygienic looking ladies. "Excuse me, ma'am." Hitchcock came in view, talking to one of them.

"So, there's Hitchcock, and there's an old hooker." Jake had just said the words when the hooker's foot went straight into Hitchcock's testicles. Making the old detective kneel down in pain. Everybody started laughing at the scene, DeWitt couldn't stop herself seeing the scene, still feeling a little pity for the man. "There it is!"

"Come on, guys, that happened four years ago." Hitchcock tried to stop the video, feeling uncomfortable seeing it again.

"Shh, this is the best part." Jake silenced Hitchcock. "She comes back, takes the wallet, and here she goes!" And again the hooker kicked Hitchcock in the balls.

"OH!"

"Hey, love the sweater." Jake entered the briefing room, all cops getting together for their daily briefing. Charles was already waiting there wearing an ugly brown sweater. "Who you slayin' tonight, lady killer?"

"Well, we shall see what we shall see." Boyle was taking in all the praise he was getting from his friend.

"No, you're dressed exactly like the lady killer." Peralta stopped laughing, pointing at the corkboard on the wall. Right where there was a wanted poster for the Lady Killer, wearing precisely the same sweater as Boyle.

"Damn it! " Boyle sulked seeing the poster. "This is Jeffrey Dahmer's corduroys all over again."

"All right, let's get started." Jeffords got the attention from the room, taking the lead in briefing the precinct. "Scully. Where are you on digitizing the old case files?"

"As of yesterday, I'm officially 1% done." Scully smiled proudly while putting his thumbs up at the sergeant, proud of his accomplishment.

"Why are you smiling?" Terry asked unamused "That's nothing."

"There are thousands of cases, and for each one, I have to fill out on 50 different screens." Scully defended himself.

"At least you get to sit on your butt all day," Rosa stated.

"That's actually the worst part. My doctor said I have an anal canyon." He informed his colleagues.

"Ugh, God, Scully, why are you always telling us about your disgusting body?" Jake complained.

Jake had a point Emily remembered a week ago, Scully had shown a wart on his foot to Jake. While he was eating, let's say the food didn't stay in his stomach for long.

"How are you married?" Peralta asked the man. He hadn't an answer for that. He just chose to shake his head.

"Peralta, where are we on the Adams street burglary?" The captain got the meeting back on track. "

"We are very close, Captain." Jake informed, "Aside from a complete absence of evidence, suspects, or leads. So, in conclusion, not at all close."

"And the Vickers street aggravated assault?" Holt asked.

"Stalled out, and the Calloway robbery also remains unsolved," Jake admitted. "Due to a lack of solving it by me."

"Sounds like someone's in a little bit of a slump." Gina didn't leave any opportunity to insult her colleagues.

"I'm not in a slump." Jake defended himself.

"You're not? Scoreboard." Amy pointed at the scoreboard, on which Santiago had a lead of nine points.

"I don't slump, people." Jake tried to convince the room and himself that he wasn't in a slump.

"If you want, I can always babysit you again." Emily's voice could be heard from the back, getting a laugh from the whole room.

"I opposite slump. I pmuls." Peralta shrugged off the comment. "That's "slump" backwards, and it's what I do. I pmuls all over this bitch."

"Dismissed." The sergeant ended the meeting, making everybody get up and leave the room.

"Slump," Amy shouted while Jake was leaving.

"Pmuls"

"Wait before you say anything, I want to guess what happened, based on your face." Jake stopped Holt, who just passed his desk. "Someone died. No! You won a prize! I'm not getting better at this."

"I'm concerned that the open cases mound of garbage on your desk has become so much higher than the closed cases mound of garbage." Holt looked over the bigger growing pile of case files a little bit concerned with Jake's slump.

"All right, sir. Let me hit you with a little analogy" Jake started to defend himself. "Are you familiar with race cars?"

"Formula 1 or stock?" Holt asked, surprising Jake who didn't even know the difference between the two.

"That's already way more than I know about it," Peralta admitted. "The point is, I'm a super-awesome race car who's hit a couple of unlucky speed bumps."

"You got speed bumps on a race track?" Holt asked, questioning Jake if he had ever seen a race.

"Is that not part of car racing? It should be." Peralta answered. "All I'm saying is, it's open road again. First things first."

Jake turned around to Jefford's and DeWitt's desk. "Race car driver" He held his breath in anticipation.

"No."

"Damn, I thought that was the one, but I'm getting closer I can feel it." Jake turned back to the captain, giving him a folder. "Talking about getting closer. I'm about to close a case. Missing grandma Helen Sterrino. Last Sunday, her grandson Judd reported she went out for bagels and never came back. This morning, we picked up an old lady matching her description exactly. I showed her pictures of Judd, and she said, and I quote," Jake tried to imitate the old lady. "That's my grandson."

"What did I say about doing voices?" Holt tilted his head in question.

"I'm a storyteller, sir. It's my craft." Jake defended his impressions. "Anyways, grandson's coming in. They reunite, and I throw another case on the old solved it pile."

Holt gave the folder back to Peralta who threw it on his 'not solved' pile, tipping the monstrosity right over the edge off the desk. Jake casually looked over where the pile used to be. "Hey, my croissant." Taking the trash croissant from the basket, he slammed it against his desk indicating it was as hard as a brick. Seeing no problem with it, he took a big bite from it. Holt just witnessed his detective's antics

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Amy entered the captain's office.

"Yes, the D.A. wanted me to personally thank you for your work on the Jay street drug bust." Holt moved the papers he was busy with a little bit out of the way to make space.

"That's why we do this, sir." Amy proudly stated, happy with the praise.

"For praise?" Holt asked, a little bit taken aback by her answer.

"Uh" Amy stood frozen, not knowing what to answer, afraid she had disappointed her captain.

"There's a community outreach program that's very important to me." Holt continued not waiting for her to come up with an answer. "I was wondering if you'd like to head it up." He held up a folder for her to take. "I want you to take Diaz and DeWitt, to make sure everything will run smoothly."

"Absolutely, sir." Amy was back to her enthusiastically self, happy with the chance to prove herself. "I won't just head it up, I will head and shoulders it up. I will dive in, swim around it," She was getting nervous again, not knowing where she was going with her statement she stuttered out the last few parts. "and just be altogether good with it."

"Be more articulate when you speak to the children." Holt said.

"Yes, sir, I will make better mouth." As soon as the words left her mouth she already regretted her word choice. Without further saying a word she left the office.

"Hey, sarge, I need someone to fill out a lineup." Boyle approached the sergeant's desk. "Will you be scary Terry?"

"Scarry Terry?" DeWitt looked up, having heard snippets from the conversation.

"The Sarge here does an amazing impression of a criminal," Boyle answered. "Whenever we need someone to fill up the lineup, Scarry Terry appears. And he's not pretty. It's almost as he's made for the role."

DeWitt looked weirdly at Boyle and his choice of phrasing, insinuating Jeffords would be better as a criminal.

"Oh, I love being scary Terry," Jeffords answered full of glee, not taking any offense at Boyle's words. "He says what regular Terry's thinking. But I'm too busy. I've got a special case I'm working on."

"Maybe I can help?" Both men looked over at Emily.

"No, that won't work. I need a man." Boyle answered disappointed.

"Uh, Hitchcock, Boyle needs you to fill out a lineup," Terry called the older man over.

"Oh, great." Scully immediately started to loosen his tie. "I'll take my shirt off."

"Why would you take your shirt off?" Emily asked in disgust, not wanting to see the naked chest off Scully.

"No one asked you to take your shirt off." Boyle backed her up. "Stop volunteering to take your shirt off."

"I can't hear you! Shirt's over my ears." Scully ignored their pleas, his shirt already over his head.

Amy walked over to the commotion. "Sir, I have been tasked with handling this year's Junior police program seminar, and he said I needed to come you for help."

"I can't right now Amy. I'm already busy in on another case." Terry apologized.

"Sorry Sergeant, but I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to DeWitt." Amy looked expectantly at her, waiting for her response.

"My name's not sir, it's DeWitt or Emily nothing more. Understood." DeWitt stood up ready to follow her.

"Yes, Si.." Before Amy could finish the sentence she got a harsh look from Emily. Immediately she corrected her mistake. "DeWitt, sorry."

"Hi, Rosa." Amy walked over to Diaz her desk followed by DeWitt. ", I like your shoes. They're really pretty…"

"What do you need?" Diaz interrupted her.

"color." Amy finished her sentence. She turned around to Emily looking at her like she was waiting for something.

"Why are you looking at me, answer the woman." Emily was getting a little frustrated with Amy's behavior around her.

"Yes, of course." Santiago nervously turned around to the stern woman still waiting for an answer. "You know how, every year, the precinct does that Junior police program seminar?"

"That thing where we try to get a bunch of loser kids to become student snitches?" Rosa asked, already not liking where this was going.

"No, the thing where we try to get at-risk kids.." Amy explained

"Losers." Rosa interrupted again.

"To sign up to become Junior police officers." Amy continued

"Snitches. What about it?"

"Captain specifically asked me to run it this year." She handed Rosa the folder with all the information. "And you two are going to help me."

Amy looked happily at the two women, getting a glare from Rosa and an uninterested one from Emily. "If you guys want to that is."

Before any of them could answer Gina joined the group. "Greetings. Fine. I guess I can help you with those at-risk kids."

"I don't need your help." Amy shot her offer down. "It's nothing personal, it's just You're not a cop, so I'm not really sure, you could help."

"Okay." Gina forced a smile. "No hard feelings. But I hate you. Not joking. Bye."

"Gina, wait!" Emily followed after the woman leaving the other two behind.

"Ah, Mr. and ." Peralta greeted the son and his wife off the found elderly woman. "I'm glad you're here. May I present to you.." Making his own trumpet sounds he introduced them to their missing grandmother.

"Oh, my darlings. Thank God I found you." Grandma Sterrino stood up happy she was finally reunited with her grandson. "Oh, look at those beautiful cheeks."

"I have no idea who this lady is." The grandson answered, seeing the strange woman in front off him. "I've never seen her before in my life."

"What?" Peralta asked confused. "No, she recognized you. This is Helen."

"Who's Helen?" The now strange lady asked confused. "Oh! That's my husband. Solomon!" She made her way over to Boyle giving him a big hug thinking she was finally reunited with her husband.

"I'm I'm not really her husband," Boyle explained, returning the hug.

"You're so much shorter than you used to be. What did the Japanese do to you?" The lady started to cry.

"Different generation." Jake finally understood she wasn't their grandmother.

"Okay, this is Ethel Musterberg from the prospect heights senior center." Boyle showed an ID card to everyone while still holding the elderly in one arm. "There was an I.D. card in her back pocket."

"Why was your hand in her back pocket?" Terry asked confused.

"Well, she told me she didn't have any I.D., and, unlike Boyle, my first instinct was not to caress her butt," Jake explained his mistake.

"Frisked!" Boyle defended himself. "I frisked her butt!"

"It looks like this case remains unsolved, Peralta," Holt stated.

"Oh, my God." Peralta finally came to the realization, what everyone was trying to tell him during the day. "I'm in a slump!"

Jake had everyone gather in the break room trying to find a way to get out of his slump. "Oh, cool. You're all here in the break room."

"You asked us to come in here," Diaz stated.

"What?" He acted confused. "Here's a hypothetical question. Let's say I knew someone that, for the first time in their career, was experiencing, like, a minor slump. What do you think you would suggest to that person if they were going through that?"

Boyle was the first one to come up with a suggestion. "Well, I haven't really been in a slump since my divorce. So I'd tell this person, maybe get divorced. He'd have to get married first."

"Okay, so the suggestion to beat is get married and then divorced." Jake dismissed the ridiculous idea and moved over to Rosa. "Rosa?"

"Fly to Montreal, hit a classy hotel bar, bone a stranger, slump over."

"Wow, that sounds amazing." Jake loved the idea maybe not to get out off the slump but he was definitely going to try it.

"Yeah," Rosa said with a satisfied smile.

"That's a good one. DeWitt, your up."

"Go skydiving." She simply stated. "Almost as good as sex."

"Why didn't you just say sex then," Peralta asked confused.

"Because somebody else already said it, so I just came up with the second best thing I knew." She gave acknowledging nod at Rosa getting one in return.

"Don't have the time for that. Sarge, what would you do?"

"Ten thousand sit-ups." The man answered.

Okay, do you have a backup plan in case my hypothetical person can only do 9500? Or three?" Jake answered not really thinking it would have the same effect on him like it would on the sergeant.

"What's going on in here?" the captain walked in looking over the little gathering.

"We're helping Jake's friend got out of his slump," Boyle answered not seeing the hints Peralta was giving him to stop speaking.

"Or try working a case until it's solved, Peralta," Holt said with a hint off angriness. "I always find that closing cases is the best way to end the slump."

"Thank you, Captain! " Peralta shouted while the captain left the room.

"He's right." The sarge supported Holt's statement. "You just need a win. Pick your easiest, no-brainer case, and work it till it's done."

"Fine!" Jake accepted the sergeant's words. "Right after I do Rosa's Montreal sex thing. That sounds fun."

"Yeah," Rosa said with a smile.

Jake's head appeared again in the door. "Male gigolo." He pointed his fingers at her, waiting for her answer.

"Never" Emily answered with a little bit of disgust in her voice.

Currently, in front of Emily was sitting, her worst fear. Pubering teenagers who thought they owned the world. Give her a hostage situation or a shootout with bank robbers, she would face it all over talking to these twerps. She wanted to run out of the room, looking at their bored looks they would take any chance to amuse themselves and she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it.

"Okay. This is the Junior police program. A.K.A Mission possible" Amy started with full enthusiasm, she had even taken the time to search for a tune to accompany her show. Oh, this was bad. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get your life back on track." Amy started pointing at the teenagers who were looking at her like she had escaped from a mental institution.

"*Cough*Narc*Cough*" Gina entered the room getting a laugh from the teenagers.

"Hey, Gina. What are you doing?" Amy asked the civilian administrator who had just interrupted her presentation.

"Oh, hi, Amy." Gina greeted her. "Since I have nothing to offer, and since I'm not a cop, I thought I'd just show up and learn."

"Do you guys, want to help me out here," Amy asked her two colleagues who hadn't said a thing for the whole presentation.

" Nah, I think I'm good," Rosa said in a bored tone.

"No." Emily shot down her cry for help not wanting to get involved.

Santiago took a deep breath getting a little bit frustrated by her colleagues. "I know you think getting in trouble is cool." she continued. "But let me show you what can happen if you continue down this path."

"Hey, yo, I'm an at-risk kid, and I think it's cool to sell drugs." Santiago started to mimic a teenager.

There was only one thought that went both through Diaz and DeWitt's mind. 'Oh no.'

"Hold up why does the kid selling drugs sound like he's black?" One of the guys sitting in the front asked.

"He's not." Amy started to explain.

"Well, why not?" Gina joined in. " Are you saying that black people can't sell drugs?"

" No, I'm not saying that." Amy went on the defensive.

"We have a black President." The kid had smelled weakness and he wasn't going to let his prey get away. "Why can't black people sell drugs?"

"I'm so confused," Santiago stated, not really understanding their thought process.

"Black people can sell drugs!" Gina started to chant the kids starting to follow her example. "Black people can sell drugs! Black people can sell drugs! Black people can sell drugs!"

Right at that moment, the captain entered to see Santiago's process with the kids, just to see them all chanting. "Black people can sell drugs!" Just hearing these words he immediately left the room.

Here is the first half of the third episode. This episode will more focus on the relationship between Amy and Emily. With little bits off Jake and Terry.

So for everyone who reads this story and wants me to continue, please leave a review behind so I know you like it, don't like it, just let me know. Want me to explain something, just leave a review behind or PM me.