Heyo!

Quick story about this... You see, this was a request by my friend WhimsicalMayhem who wanted to see a fic in which Zer0 finds Maya in a, shall we say, awkward situation. This is the result and in retrospect, I'm pretty happy with it.

Genre: Comedy

Characters: Maya and Zer0

Slagged

"Son of a bitch Axton." Maya muttered to herself as she tried, emphasis on tried, to get the slag out of her hair.

The Vault Hunters has been fighting bandits in Sawtooth Cauldron, everything was going great; the bandits weren't too tough to fight, the weather was good and sunny, no one had been shot yet. And then of course Axton accidentally shot a slag barrel. Which Maya had been right next to. Which got her coated in a thick, sticky layer of the disgusting ooze. So after thoroughly threatening Axton, she had abandoned the rest of the group and gone back to Sanctuary to wash up.

"Damn it!" She exclaimed as she, once again, found slag still hiding in her hair. Honestly how hard was it to wash this stuff out?

Half a bottle of shampoo and more cursing at Axton latter, Maya was still not happy with the state of the slag still in her hair, but she had managed to get it down to an almost tolerable level.

And so after fighting a nearly forty-five minute losing battle with the slag, Maya finally decided enough was enough and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed a towel and went to check on the state of the clothes she had been wearing when she got slagged.

"I'll probably have to get rid of them." She thought out loud. "It's a shame, I really liked that outfit."

She walked into her room, closed the door behind her, and took a look at her clothes.

Her normally bright yellow combat outfit was stained a color somewhere between black and purple, and seemed to have an unearthly radioactive glow to it.

"Yep. Definitely ruined." She said to herself sadly.

Just as she was about to go toss out the ruined outfit, she heard the door open. Her head jerked up and she saw Zer0 standing in the doorway.

"Zer0 what the hell are you doing?!" She yelled. She moved toward him, intent on throwing the assassin out of her room. And that's when her day went from bad to worse.

As she walked toward the door her towel got snagged on something, and fell off. It took Maya about a second to realize what happened. When she did, her face instantly turned a deep red and she quickly grabbed a sheet off her bed to cover herself with. When she looked back at the door Zer0 was already gone.

Later that Day

Maya approached Zer0 as menacingly as possible, it had taken her nearly all day but she had finally cornered the assassin.

"So Zer0." She said calmly.

Zer0 looked frantically for a way out of the alley he was cornered in. When he saw none he gave in and looked toward the Siren.

"Yes?" He said.

"Why did you come in my room today?"

"We were all worried/So I went to check on you/And you know the rest."

"Why didn't you just knock?"

"I'm an assassin/It was a force of habit/I don't knock often."

"Mhhm..." Maya said. "Well I suppose it's partially my fault for not locking the damn thing."

Maya then turned to leave, but before she did she asked one more question.

"Hey Zer0. What'd you think?"

A dull red question mark light up on Zer0's visor.

"Don't give me that, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

The visor went blank for a moment, only for the question mark to be replaced with a heart.

"That's what I thought." Maya said. She then closed the distance between her and Zer0, and bitch slapped the assassin.

As Zer0 lay on the ground recovering from the shock Maya said something.

"And if you tell anyone, there is plenty more where that came from." And with that she walked away.

Author's Note: If you couldn't tell from the ending, I'm not the biggest May0 fan out there. It's alright I guess, but it's not really my thing.