Hey everybody! I've been terrible about updating this story lol. I'll try my very hardest to update quickly and amazing stories! Enjoy chapter 4! I think you all will like this chapter, because there's a Jebbie throwback moment! You might recognize it, you might not. I might even note where it is lol. Anyway, enjoy! Please, follow/favorite if you haven't already! And please, please, please, pretty please, leave a review. They make my day.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Emmerdale or any of its characters and no plagiarism is meant by the events in this chapter. They're simply for a "Déjà vu" moment.

It's later now, maybe eight thirty pm-ish.

Today was a long day of saying hi to people and reliving old memories.

I ran into Chastity Dingle, which was nice. I haven't seen her in a while. Oh, and I went to see Grandpa, Uncle Ashley and Laurel.

They're divorced now, which really makes me lose hope in relationships. They were adorable.

Anyway, yeah. I'm upstairs in Debbie's guest bedroom which has recently become mine.

I notice that there's an iPod dock in the corner of the room.

I get up and walk to it, then attach my iPod to it.

After turning on my saddest playlist, I walk back to the bed and collapse onto it.

"Fix You" is the first song to come on. Probably my favorite Coldplay song.

"When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse."

It's kind of odd. The first song that comes on is my trigger.

When I hear it.. I feel sad. Alone. Depressed. I don't know why, I just do.

Usually, I turn it off the moment it comes on.. but today I don't.

I can cry as much as I want, be as depressed as I want, because nobody is around. And nobody cares.

Stuck in reverse. I'm not sure what they intended that to mean.. but to me, it's like I'm stuck in the past.

All I can think about is Debbie, and how things used to be between us.

"And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?"

Before she left the prison, we were in love. The difference now is that when she left, she moved on. I didn't. I kept those feelings the entire way through.

I can feel the hot tears falling from my eyes, leaving stains on my cheeks.

Right now.. Things feel hopeless. I'm a murderer who just got out of prison. Who's going to hire someone that's been in prison for something as big as manslaughter?

My ex-girlfriend is dating someone else.. but I still love her. How am I ever supposed to find someone when all I can think about is her.

I'm not pretty enough to be hers. I'm not smart enough. I'm not successful enough. I'm not talented at anything.

(EEEEEEEEP! The Jebbie scene! If you want to see it, it's in a playlist on my Youtube channel LenaTalksTooMuch titled Jenna-Louise Coleman Emmerdale and it is video 44!)

The door quietly swings open, and Debbie appears in the doorway.

"Jasmine?" she asks.

I immediately sit up, wipe my eyes and sniffle.

"Just leave me alone, Debs."

She closes the door fully and walks into the room. She sits next to me on my bed.

"Hey, don't be like that. You can tell me anything." She says softly.

Stop tormenting me with your compassion.

(This part is actually going to be altered a bit, considering Jas's problem isn't the same as Debbie's problem in the scene.)

"It's nothing."

"Clearly it's something big enough to bring you down."

"I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Well, talk to me. Get some of that stuff off your mind."

"I just feel like I'm worthless." I start.

Her face changes just barely noticeably with disbelief.

"I mean, what have I ever done other than mess everything up?" I ask.

"I dunno, you only went and protected me from being attacked, got through having my Dad's baby inside you. Hell, you were the strongest person here when baby Daniel passed."

"Still. I feel alone. You've got Cameron."

"Cameron? Sure. But you know what, you're gonna find that person. I know you will. I mean, look at you. I think you're beautiful."

"Get lost."

"I do! You what, Jasmine? I think.. you're absolutely amazing. I mean, after everything you've been through in your life.. you're strong. You're funny and clever. You can do anything you want, I really believe that."

She wipes a tear from my cheek, then reaches underneath a bed parallel from mine and emerges with a bottle of vodka.

This must be where she comes to cry too.

"Any more self-pity and I'll flush your head down the toilet, okay?" she smiles.

She hands me the bottle of vodka and I weakly smile back.

"Okay." I take a sip. Once finished, I hand the bottle back to her.

"To us." I say.

"To us." She says and takes a sip for herself.

I weakly laugh and say, "You know.. This seems familiar."

"What d'ya mean?" she asks.

"We've done this before."

"Oh yeah! With the whole Andy and Katie thing.. That seems like so long ago."

"Mhmm." I mutter, and lay back down on the bed.

Debbie follows as I do and takes my hand, locking our fingers.

"Do you feel any better?" she asks.

"A bit, yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime."

We fall asleep listening to the music right there on my bed.

"Mum..?" I hear faintly.

It sounds like a little girl.. but I'm not exactly sure.

"Jasmine?" she says.

This time, I force myself to wake up.

Sarah is standing at the foot of the bed, looking at me.

"Good morning, Sarah." I say.

"Good morning." She says a bit awkwardly.

I look next to me to find Debbie still fast asleep.

Oh my stars, this must be so strange for her.

I look back to her and give her a comforting smile, but her attention is focused on something else.

It's then I realize that my fingers are still woven with Debbie's.

"Oh my stars." I whisper.

Debbie must have heard me, as she begins to slowly open her eyes.

She looks at me- quite lovingly, I might add- and smiles.

"Hey. Are you feeling better?"

I nod my head, unable to speak.

"What's wrong?" she asks, sitting up.

She then notices Sarah standing at the end of the bed.

"Good morning Sarah!" she says happily, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Mum.. why are you sleeping next to Jasmine?" Sarah asks calmly.

"Well, Jasmine and I were talking last night and I guess we just fell asleep. No need for you to worry." She says with a smile.

"Mum, I thought you were in love with Cameron."

"I am in love with Cameron.."

"Then why are you holding Jasmine's hand?"

Debs looks down at out interlocked hands and then back to her daughter.

"Uhm." She starts. She looks to me for help, but I haven't the slightest clue of what to say.

Sarah seems to be completely confused..

"Sarah, I think we need to talk to you." Debs says.

What is she going to tell her?

She invites Sarah to come sit on the bed with us, and she does so.

"Sarah, sometimes.. sometimes, girls are in love with boys. And sometimes girls are in love with other girls. But I want you to know that just because society thinks it's unacceptable.. It isn't. Okay? And if you decide that you don't want to date a boy, but you want to date a girl, I will still love you. It's completely okay."

"Okay, mum."

Debbie smiles at her and takes her hand with her free hand. This makes me notice that her hand is still linked to mine.

"Mum, can I ask you something?" she asks.

"Of course."

"Why are you holding Jasmine's hand?"

"Well, she wasn't feeling very well last night and I wanted to make her feel better."

"Did you feel better?" she asks me.

I smile. "Yeah. I did."

"Okay so, I'm a little confused." Sarah says.

"About what?" Debs asks.

"Why did you tell me all of that if you were just trying to comfort Jasmine?"

How did I not notice that?

Debbie falls silent.

Wait.. Why isn't she answering..?

"Are you in love with Jasmine?"