HELLO, KITTY

Part 4

Kitty opened her eyes in the morning light and smiled down at the man still sleeping in the circle of her left arm, head pillowed on her breast, warm breath tickling her skin, one long leg sprawled across her right hip.

A slight shift of her body woke him and he lifted his head, eyes gentle with love as they smiled into hers, voice still raspy with sleep as he spoke. "Morning...you all right?"

Her face flushed under his steady gaze, but the sapphire eyes that met his were loving and sure. "You have no idea how very all right I am." Then she slid one hand down his back, lightly touching a series of unfamiliar raised scars she had noticed the night before. "You gonna tell me what happened in Mexico?"

"No."

Her fingers tenderly traced the welts. "They beat you, didn't they?"

After a moment, he breathed out, "Yeah."

"Oh, Matt, I'm so sorry—sorry for everything that happened, and sorry I wasn't there to…to…"

"Shhh…it's over. It doesn't matter now." Calloused fingers silenced her lips and brushed away the tears that started to form in her eyes. "I miss being with you, Kitty…not just for…for what we did last night, but for this morning, too. I miss waking up with you beside me, with your arms around me. And I miss your laugh, your smile…" His voice trailed off, knowing he didn't have the words to tell her all that was in his heart.

"I know, Matt, I know. I miss everything about the years we had together, the love we shared."

He turned her onto her side and rested his hand on her hip. "We still share that love, Kitty, and we can have it all again. Go back to Dodge with me."

She shook her head, pausing before speaking. "I can't, Matt. I have responsibilities in New Orleans. The business is still very new. Everything I have is invested in it—everything Ira and Charlotte have, too. I can't risk losing it, and I can't run a new business long distance. Ira's a good man and a wonderful friend and business partner, but he's never run a saloon…or a gambling establishment…before. I'm not comfortable being away for more than a few days at a time as it is. I can't walk out on him now."

"You and Ira?" He lifted an eyebrow.

She laughed. "Oh, heavens no, nothing like that. We grew up together. New Orleans, especially the French Quarter, is a very small place where everyone knows everyone else. Ira and I were playmates from the time we were in our cradles. We were five when Charlotte came along, and she was kind of like a doll for us to play with." She smiled at the memory. "But even way back then, he had eyes for no one but Charlotte. He's the one who held her hand when she was learning to walk, taught her to read, took her to her first cotillion. Ira's my cousin's husband, Matt, and he's a very old and very dear friend, but that's all." She thought a moment and caressed his jaw, his morning stubble prickly under her fingertips. "And, I've re-established ties with some of my old friends and classmates. Annabelle, Marguerite and I were inseparable when we were in school. And Lucy Crit—I'm sure you remember when her brother Billy came through Dodge years ago," she added wryly.

"I'm having fun with them, and I'm having a social life the likes of which I haven't known in more than twenty years. And I'm enjoying it!" She grinned and continued with a touch of sarcasm in her voice, "You might not believe this, Matt, but back when Marguerite and Belle and Lucy and I were school girls sharing secrets and dreams of the future, mine did not include running a two-bit saloon in an ugly little cow town somewhere on the Kansas prairie selling ten cent rotgut to drovers and drifters and hiders who haven't seen a woman in six months and a bath tub in twice that long."

"I'm sorry, Kitty. I guess I never thought about how lonely it was for you in Dodge. You gave up a lot to stay with me—and you didn't get very much in return." He ran his index finger down her arm. "What were your dreams, Kitty? What school girl secrets did you share with your friends? Did they come true—any of them?"

"If I told you, they wouldn't be secrets, would they?" She demurred. "Let's just say that one of them came true. I did find a handsome prince to love and who loved me in return—even, even if it didn't work out quite the way I dreamed." She lowered her gaze and nestled in his arms for a moment, and then pushed back from his chest to see his face and to give him a tender smile. "Oh, Matt, don't ever think I regret staying…not one bit. And as for what I got in return, loving you and being with you—being your woman—was so…so wonderful, so amazing…that the things I might have been missing didn't matter." She paused and then met his eyes squarely. "And…for whatever it's worth, I'm still your woman, Matt. I always have been and I always will be. There's no one else…there couldn't be, not ever."

"But you still won't go back to Dodge?"

Again, she shook her head. "I can't. At least not right now. But it's not because of the business, and it's certainly not because of the social life. They aren't the real reason." She bit her lip as once again her honest eyes met his. "Truth is, I can't go back to watching you ride out into danger again and again. I can't go back to worrying and waiting for you to come home…waiting for a letter to arrive telling me that you've been killed—again. It was hard enough the first time, and that memory is still too fresh, too raw. Maybe someday, Matt, but not now."

He responded impulsively. "Then I'll quit. I don't need this job, and I don't need Dodge. I need you. I'll move to New Orleans and…"

She laughed. "Oh, Matt, listen to yourself. You need the job, you need Dodge, and what's more, Dodge needs you. You can't quit, Matt. At least not for me. When you decide to take off that badge, it has to be for all the right reasons and because you really want to—in here." She traced the warm flesh over his heart with a well-manicured finger. "It has to be because you don't have the fire anymore, because your blood no longer rushes when you see the draw or hear the shot or smell the gun smoke. Not because of me. Matt, you're as addicted to the law and justice as a gambler is to the cards or a drunk is to the bottle. I love you for even offering, but I can't let you do that. Oh, we'd have fun at first, but you'd end up being miserable in New Orleans and hating me, and that…well, that would be even worse than living without you."

"Then what…what are we going to do?"

"We're going to make love again…just as slow and sweet as we possibly can…and then I'm going to get dressed and get on that train and go back to my business and my responsibilities. And you're going to get on your train and go back to your job and the life you love." With those words she turned onto her back and tugged him once again into her arms, quivering at the feel of his lips against her heart.

x

The carriage ride to the train station was all too short, and while the porter attended to the luggage, Matt guided Kitty into a shadowed corner of the platform. They stared at each other for a long moment. Hearts and bodies had already spoken their good-byes, and all that was left was for their lips to do the same.

The conductor called the last "ALL ABOARD," and Kitty lifted her chin. "Take care of yourself, Cowboy."

"You, too, Kitty. If you ever need anything..."

Not trusting herself to say anything more, she removed one glove and traced his lips with trembling fingers. Then she squared her shoulders, turned away and climbed the four steps onto the train. Steam poured from beneath the wheels and swirled about the steps as the smokestack belched and the black behemoth gave its first lurch forward.

"Kitty!"

She turned.

He cupped his hands around his mouth, and his powerful voice shouted above the roar of the engine. "A year from today—meet me—hotel—one year from today."

The conductor grasped her elbow in an attempt to pull her through the door, but she gripped the hand rail and refused to budge until she had nodded her head vigorously and shouted back, "A year from today—same room—close to noon as we can make it. I'll be there. I promise."

TBC