Better late than never?
I'm sorry I'm the slowest updater in the world. Blame teacher's college and the bucketload of assignments they make me do!
Again, this fic is dedicated to my lovely beta kmomof4 without whom this story never would have happened. You are simply the best.
Also a huge thank you to everyone still reading this fic. Your reviews give me life.
Chapter 4 – Wrecking Ball
Killian felt the blood leave his face. His heart pounded in his chest, in his throat. It was her. Right there, in the flesh. Emma Swan - like a bloody ghost come back from the dead, or a dream, he didn't know, he couldn't think straight. Her eyes met his, only for a fraction of a second, but it was like a punch to the gut and suddenly Killian was back in that bar, as if the past five years hadn't happened, as if she hadn't… she was here.
Five years earlier
Killian lay on the couch, his back sticking to the leather, his breathing still heavy and laboured, every muscle in his body screaming at him. His left arm was bent at an awkward angle and starting to go numb, but then he heard the soft sigh leave her lips as she rolled over to face him and suddenly none of it mattered. She propped her chin on his chest and gave him a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Hi," she said. He beamed, reaching to brush her mass of blonde hair that had fallen over her face. It was a complete mess, tangled and damp and completely his fault - he couldn't muster any guilt.
"Hi," he answered her and she buried her nose in his chest, hiding her face.
Jesus she was gorgeous. From the moment he saw her, frowning and glaring at the road, at the traffic that had wronged her, to the radiant smile she'd finally given him when she sang along to his stupid performance, she'd stirred something in him that he couldn't shake, something that he hadn't felt since… well it had been a long time.
When he lost her to the sea of cars that spread out ahead of them he felt it like a physical ache. It didn't make sense, he didn't know her, but that didn't make it any less real. Liam must have seen it in his face, or heard it in what he was sure was the desperation in his voice because there was no other reason his clean cut brother would have violated as many traffic laws as he did trying to catch up to that obnoxiously yellow bug. And then he'd lost her again. He'd tried, he'd given her a way to contact him but it was completely up to her now and if she decided she didn't want him… he needed a drink.
Even now his throat clenched at how close he'd come. He'd been planning on drowning his sorrows as soon as the set was over. He could see Liam watching him. He'd been watching him since they got out of the car earlier that evening. It was an intent kind of watching, one he was familiar with and he hated it. He needed a drink. And then she walked in. Of all the gin joints…
And now here she was, wrapped in his arms and Killian was going to make damn sure that she didn't disappear again. His hand was still tangled in her hair, curling around the ends, brushing delicately through the strands. Eventually she relaxed and leaned her cheek on his shoulder, her fingers coming up to draw patterns through the hair on his chest. The world could end in this moment and Killian wouldn't even care. He didn't ever want to move.
Emma sighed. "I should go."
Killian craned his head to look at her, heart jumping in his chest and his arm tightened slightly around her of its own accord. "Go? Go where?"
She laughed at his offended tone, wiggling her way out of his arms until she was sitting on the edge of the sofa, her back bare and open to him. He felt a tightening low in his belly again - far earlier than should have been possible really.
"Back to my friends," she threw over her shoulder. "Before the rest of the band gets here and gets a show. The music's stopped," she informed him, reaching for her shirt. Killian hadn't noticed, he'd been too busy brushing her hair over her shoulder so that he could trace the long, graceful line of her spine. He smirked a bit when he felt her tremble slightly under his hand.
"We locked the door," he reminded her, fingers curling around from her back to her side, up and across to her stomach as he raised himself up so that he could press his chest to her back, his chin resting on her shoulder as he let his lips tease the shell of her ear. She let out a small whine and he grinned in victory, one hand coming up to palm a breast while the other pulled her tighter against his already growing erection. His lips attacked her neck and she let out a gasp, head falling back as he licked and sucked over the place where her neck met her shoulder.
She turned with a groan that was both desperate and annoyed and pulled his mouth to hers in a deep, hungry kiss. Killian smiled into it, hands continuing to roam as he let himself be kissed by her. He could spend hours kissing her - days. He'd only just nearly managed to get them horizontal again when she pulled back, standing and stepping away from him.
"No," she said, he voice breathy and uneven. She narrowed her eyes at him accusingly. "You're dangerous." Killian bit his lip to try and fight his self-satisfied smile. He failed. "I need to get back to my friends or I'll never hear the end of it from Ruby." The mention of her friend's name seemed to set her resolve and she started picking her clothes up from where they'd ended up spread about the room.
Killian sighed, defeated and stood to pull on his boxers and help her find her things. He located her jacket which had somehow ended up behind the mini fridge and held it out for her. Already fully dressed - he took a moment to be slightly impressed at her speed - she turned and smiled at the proffered jacket.
"Thanks," she breathed, grabbing hold of it, but he didn't let go. He used her grip on it to pull her closer and she let herself be pulled. Killian was pretty sure Emma Swan didn't do anything she didn't want to. She rolled her eyes at him and he gave her a cheeky smile as he closed the distance, stepping forward until they were nearly chest to chest.
"Meet me tomorrow," he asked, begged, he didn't care. She paused and for the time it took her to answer, Killian forgot how to breathe.
"Where?" she finally asked and he felt the joy swell in his chest like a physical presence.
"There's a cafe down the street from here - a block east. Meet me there at noon?" he asked hopefully. She didn't answer again. Instead she looked at him for a long moment, taking in every bit of his face and Killian didn't know whether he wanted to hide the desperation on it or make sure she saw it. This woman had such an effect on him. He couldn't think straight. It was way too soon. It didn't make sense but he was powerless against it.
Finally, she seemed to settle on his lips and she leaned in slowly, kissing him again. He'd kissed her a hundred times tonight and he still wasn't prepared for his body's reaction to her mouth on his. Heart fluttering, knees weak, an insatiable need for more, to keep kissing her, to kiss her for as long as she would let him.
She ended the kiss as slowly as she'd initiated it and Killian stood for a moment with his eyes still closed, still tasting her, still feeling her. When he finally opened them, she was at the door. She cast him one last glance over her shoulder before slinking out into the hall. Killian stayed rooted to the spot, gazing like an idiot at the door she'd just disappeared through until his brother burst through, followed by Graham and David.
"Oy, John," he called. "What, did Yoko leave already?" His brother's taunt snapped him out of of his reverie but it couldn't shake his good mood.
"Come now brother, we all know I'm McCartney," he threw back.
"McCartney would never leave his band up on stage like that!" Liam countered, but there was no heat in his words. He was looking intently at Killian again. But it was less concerned than it had been earlier, more intrigued, amused.
"Aw let the guy be, Liam," David said coming to his defence.
"Yeah, look at the poor bastard. He's in love!" Graham added. Killian threw a pillow at him but it was half-hearted.
"Shut up and -" he started.
"What? Dance?" David asked and he and Graham burst into hysterics. Even Liam cracked a smile.
"I will murder all of you." Killian vowed which only spurred their laughter.
"Well," Liam said when they had calmed a bit. Since you missed the second set… and you look so relaxed -" Graham guffawed. "I'm sure you won't mind loading up the equipment for your poor, tired bandmates who had to pick up your slack."
Killian rolled his eyes but didn't put up a fight. Nothing could phase him. Not now. Later he'd take the piss out of his brother for trying to boss him around. And he'd get David and Graham back for their teasing. But right now? Right now everything was different. He'd met a girl - Emma - and she'd changed things. He could feel it, welling up in him, growing in him like the swell of strings and chords. He didn't think he'd feel this way again. He couldn't remember the last time a woman made him feel this way. That was a lie, he did remember. Clearly, and painfully. But that was the past. This was right now. And right now, Emma Swan had made his heart sing.
"Oh and Killian!" Liam called as Killian made his way to the door. He turned around just in time to catch the jeans that were thrown at him. "Put on some bloody pants!"
Present day
She ran. As quickly as she had come back into his life, she ran right out of it like a bat out of hell. Killian stood stunned, looking after the door as it slammed shut behind her. He could hear Liam talking. Something about how they came to hear Emma play and they wanted her to join their tour but he wasn't listening. All he could focus on was the sound of blood rushing in his ears and the fact that every second that he stood there Emma Swan got further away from him. He was losing her. Again.
It took him all of five seconds before he took off after her. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what he planned to do. He just knew that he had to go after her. He'd figure it out once he got there. Figure out what the hell he even wanted from her.
He burst through the door and Emma, who had been standing beside it, let out a small squeak at the sound of it slamming against the wall. She jumped back a step but composed herself quickly when she saw him and stood with her shoulders squared, like she was ready for a fight. The two stood, staring at one another as the silence of the alleyway hung between them. Killian scrambled for something to say, something clever or cool or funny but all that ended up coming out was a quiet 'hey.'
"Hey," Emma answered after a moment, not relaxing her stance at all.
"I, um, I never thought I'd see you again," he said, hating himself for how pathetic he sounded. Five years. He'd wondered if he'd ever see her again. If this thing between them would still be there, if it would still be as strong. It was. It nearly bowled him over with the strength of it just by being in proximity to her.
"Yeah, well, that makes two of us," Emma answered and Killian's heart sank a bit. The silence hung again and Emma shuffled from foot to foot, tucking and un-tucking her hair behind her ear. It was even longer than the last time they'd met. He longed to run his fingers through it. He cleared his throat. He could do this. He was an adult. He could have a bloody conversation with a woman.
"Liam says you're a musician? He says you're amazing."
She scoffed. "I'm not. And your brother is overdramatic." Killian laughed at that and he swore he saw an inkling of a smile tug at her lips.
"Aye, that he is. But he's also rarely wrong, the prat." She did smile at that. A small, embarrassed thing. "You didn't tell me you played," he added when she didn't answer.
Emma raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, because we did so much talking that night," she answered sarcastically. Killian smirked ruefully as flashes of that night played over in his mind. Skin and heat and gasps and cries, her voice wrapped around his name. He cleared his throat again to try distract from the memory.
"Liam also said something about you coming on tour?" he asked tentatively. He didn't know what he wanted her answer to be. A part of him wanted her there - more than anything. Already just a few minutes in her presence - some of the longest, most uncomfortable minutes in his life - and he would do anything to make her stay, give her anything she wanted. But the other part of him, the one that yelled at him that this effect she had on him was strange and otherworldly and dangerous, feared what it would do to him if she did come and he lost her again. He didn't know if he could handle it.
"Yeah, that's obviously not happening," she said and it was like a bucket of ice water had been dropped on him.
"Why not?" he asked - less cooly than he would have liked. She simply raised her eyebrow at him again. "Right," he sighed. "Listen, Emma," her eyes snapped to his at the use of her name. "That was… it was a very long time ago." She eyed him warily but didn't say anything so he chanced it and kept going. "And if you're as good as Liam clearly thinks you are then you shouldn't let some awkwardness between you and I stand in your way." Her shoulders tensed uncomfortably. Killian sighed. He knew what she needed to hear. "Look, it didn't mean anything anyway." She visibly relaxed and it was a punch to the gut.
"I don't know…" she started, still hesitant. He stepped forward and the took the fact that she didn't flinch back as a good sign.
"Look, I haven't heard you but if my brother - the bloody toughest critic in the whole bloody country thinks you're so good he wants you on tour well, then you must be. We're both adults," he pointed out coming to lean beside her on the brick wall of the alley. "I'm sure we can both be professional, act like it never happened and just - go bring some fucking good music to the world."
Emma looked at him and he hoped that she saw the sincerity he felt. He may have lied about what it meant to him but he was serious about what he said about Liam's taste and his ability to act professional. If she didn't want him then he wouldn't force his feelings on her. He would just have to focus on making music - that was what was most important at this point in his life anyway. She still looked a bit uncertain but he knew he was winning her over.
"Besides," he added. "My brother is a stubborn arse so if he wants you on tour it's going to happen." She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, defiant. There she was.
"Oh yeah? How's that?" she challenged. He smiled.
"Have you met his lovely wife?" Her shoulders sagged and he chuckled. "Ah yes, I see you have. I'm sure you've already found yourself going along with something or other without any memory of agreeing to it."
"You can say that again," she muttered. Then she took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Okay."
"Okay?" he asked, excited.
"Yeah. You're right. It was a one time thing and it was five years ago. If you can be professional then so can I."
"Wonderful," he told her.
"But I have some conditions."
"I'm sorry, what?" Liam asked, slightly put out.
"You heard me. I'm not signing a contract. It's nothing personal, Belle, I'm sure you're a wonderful manager but I want to keep my independence." Liam opened his mouth to argue but Emma gave him a look. "It's non-negotiable. I will come on tour, you have my word that I'll see it through to the end but that's all I can give you."
Killian was enjoying this way more than he should have been but there was something inherently amusing about watching his brother be put in his place by the 5 foot nothing woman in front of him. She could give Belle a run for her money and as he watched Emma hold her own and make demands of five people who were offering her something he couldn't help but wonder if a love of music wasn't the only thing she and his brother had in common. She was a presence, a force to be reckoned with and Killian began to worry about his ability to keep things professional after all.
"Fine," his brother let out through gritted teeth. Killian smiled. "What else?"
"Mary Margaret and Ruby come with me." Killian wasn't sure but he thought he saw David - who had been casting glances at the tiny brunette since they'd come back inside to find them all congregating around the table - perk up a bit at this new condition.
Liam sighed. "We can't do that -" Emma started to interrupt but Belle jumped in.
"What he means," she interjected. "Is that we can't just have them tag along. Everyone involved in the tour has to be contributing somehow."
"We're her band," Ruby piped up behind her, stepping forward to wrap an arm around Emma's shoulders. Killian had to hide his smile behind his fist at his brother's exasperated look.
"Come again?"
"We're her band," Ruby repeated slower and Graham giggled behind Liam. Ruby threw him a wolfish grin and he shut right up, face beet red. "We've played together since we were 15," she continued. One look at Emma told him this wasn't entirely true. "I play the violin and Mary Margaret is a drummer."
"Why weren't you up there tonight?" Liam challenged. Ruby didn't even flinch.
"I'm working. And the birthday girl here can barely stand let alone hold her drumsticks."
"Hey!" Mary Margaret protested, head snapping up from where it had been resting on her arm.
"We can't have you signing a contract drunk," Liam pointed out.
"We're not signing a contract," Emma reminded him. "It's a verbal agreement. And since you've mentioned that this is a bit last minute on your part, it almost feels like we'd be doing you a favour, saving you all that timely paperwork." She raised her eyebrow at Liam much the same way she had at him earlier and this time he couldn't hide his shit-eating grin when he saw Liam's shoulders sag.
"I like her," he heard David say to Graham. Belle put a comforting hand on Liam's shoulder but shot Emma a conspiratorial look - she was impressed.
"Alright. Anything else?" Liam asked, defeated. Bloody hell. He'd never seen anyone besides Belle take down his stubborn arse of a big brother so tactfully. She would definitely be interesting to have on tour.
"One." She waited until Liam was looking at her again before continuing. "Did you know who I was when you asked me to join you?"
Liam looked at her for a long while, sizing her up. He'd seen Liam give people this look before. It was intimidating, like you were being weighed for worth and many people shrunk under it. Emma didn't flinch.
"Yes." Emma's back straightened and he thought she would bolt again. "But not until tonight when I spoke to you. I'd already made up my mind by then. I knew I wanted you to open for us when I heard you playing in that dingy bar on Tuesday night." There was a moment, Emma looked surprised for a second and then something passed between them - an understanding, a respect. Killian could feel it like a palpable thing in the air. Liam continued. "I didn't choose you because of who you are. I chose you because of how you play."
The two had a stare off, each giving as good as they got. Bloody hell, Killian thought, he was basically going on tour with two Liams wasn't he? After a long moment where nobody said anything - even the general chatter of the bar itself seemed to die down as these two forces of nature stood off - Emma extended her hand.
"You've got a deal," she said and she and Liam shook. There was a shared cheer that passed through his friends and hers - an excitement at the new prospects, an amusement at the two butting heads, a slight intoxication. Killian was feeling it too. Then Emma turned to him and flashed him a smile that knocked the wind out of him, proud, excited, exhilarated.
Oh bugger. What the hell had he just gotten himself into?