Summary: Did Ichigo actually kill any of his opponents before?

Characters: Ichigo, many others.

I know this isn't Bark & Bite related. I'm sorry! But I'll finish it!... One day. In the meanwhile, some food for thought, for these who didn't think about it yet.

Manslaughter- to cause the death of a living being by act or negligence.

Murder - is the unlawful killing, with malice aforethought, of another human.

Either way,

Killing another living being takes great emotional toll.

. . .

Burying Ginjo in the Living World seemed like a natural choice for him. Not only because he was Ichigo's predecessor, and a human just like him. Though these thoughts were the main ideas behind him requesting Ginjo's body back from Soul-Society.

It was also because as Ichigo continued thinking about it, he realized Ginjo was probably the first person he ever killed in full consciousness and by his own two hands. This realization only added to Ichigo's feeling of responsibility toward the first Shinigami substitute.

Of course, he had sliced many Hollows and Arrancars since becoming a Shinigami. But killing Hollows is a Shinigami's job. It's his duty and slicing Hollows with a Zanpakuto is technically purifying them, giving the souls a second chance, either in Soul Society or Hell, or something of the sort.

Did he actually kill any of his opponents before?

He fought Renji, Ikkaku, Byakuya, Kenpachi, Toshiro and many other Shinigami at times. All of them are all still alive, obviously.

He didn't get to kill Aizen. He defeated him, but didn't kill him. The outcome of the battle resulted in him loosing his powers and in Aizen getting locked up.

It was safe to say the real winner of the battle was Urahara.

Ichigo also thought about all the Arracars he'd defeated. He defeated them, and at least left them to bleed. But even if they lost by his hands, he wasn't the one to deal the finishing blow, right? In fact, in some cases he even helped his enemies untill they could get back on their feet.

(Ikkaku is one example. Dordoni is anther one, as Nel healed him with her special drool.)

Ichigo's philosophy was simple - He engaged in fights knowing he'll probably have to deal the final blow, have to kill his enemies, but he also knew he could avoid it. In his opinion killing someone is a choice, not a must. As such, In each of his battles he relied only on winning against his opponents, and didn't actually plan on killing them.

He simply intended to finish the battle with his enemies in weak state and unable to fight. If not help them he'd rather leave them be if he really must, wounded and weak, rather than raise his blade on someone who can't even put up stand up anymore.

Even if it meant knowing someone else will kill them afterwards to prevent more trouble. After all, the safety of his friends comes first.

Truth is, Ichigo thought he was lucky on the matter. If his enemies did turn up dead in the end, which sometimes they did, it wasn't him who ended them.

Dordoni, who was executed by someone else after Nel healed him. Grimmjow who was left bleeding in the desert (and who Ichigo was certain is still out there alive and kicking somewhere because the guy is just too damn stubborn to roll over and die). Even Kariya, who more than getting killed by Ichigo, was just suicidal. Ichigo defeated him, yes, but Kariya pretty much initiated his own death.

It was always someone else who killed the enemy for him.

However, Ulquiorra was an exception.

Ulquiorra was the second person Ichigo ever believed of getting killed by his own hands.

It wasn't intentionally. Ichigo knew he needed to defeat him if he wanted to guarantee his friends safety, just like any of his other battles with his enemies. He knew things may come to him having to kill the Espada, but prefered not think about it too much. The only important thing at the time was to concentrate on getting back to his feet and not getting his head hacked off by Ulquiorra's crazy speed.

He knew that one of them may die, but he really didn't expect things to turn out like that. And somehow it turned out that Ichigo was the one to do the killing and not the way he wanted to.

In Ichigo's mind, he killed Ulquiorra.

It didn't matter that Ulquiorra was the enemy. It didn't matter that he was an Arrancar -Hollow that needs purification, that is- because Ichigo didn't even use his Zanpakuto to kill him. Ichigo wasn't even a Shinigami when he did it. And the fact that he was technically unconscious and wasn't himself didn't matter given the brutal, merciless way he violently slaughtered his opponent untill he turned into crumbling ashes and dust.

The fact that Ichigo refused to deal the last strike after regaining awareness didn't matter because Ulquiorra wasn't even able to regenerate anymore.

That's how Ichigo felt ever since that battle. In his opinion, he didn't defeat Ulquiorra, his Hollow did. And on further thinking, that Hollow didn't kill him, He murdered him, after trying to crush Ishida too.

And the one responsible for the Hollow was ichigo, therefore the one responsible about murdering Ulquiorra was Ichigo as well, even if it wasn't exactly him.

And so, Ginjo was the first Ichigo actually killed, while fully aware and with his own two hands. Engaging in a battle against him, knowing one of them could die, knowing non of them has to die, but Ginjo still died.

And this time there were no interruptions to stop Ichigo, not someone else finishing his battle, and no Hollow to take over his body. This time the one to deal the finishing blow was Ichigo alone, even if killing Ginjo wasn't his exact purpose, but he still knew this could happen, and hoped it won't.

And after all the times he managed to avoid actually killing someone with his hands and self awareness, the fact that it happened, just sucked.

But even if he wouldn't have had these regrets about Ginjo and Ulquiorra, Ichigo still wouldn't go easy on himself. Because while in reality Ishida and Orihime didn't hold him responible for Ulquiorra's death and everyone else considered Ginjo as the first Ichigo ever killed, in Ichigo's own mind Ginjo was the third.

After all, in his mind, and even before Ulquiorra, Strawberry still felt responsible for the death of his mother.

...And If he accidently killed someone in some movie it doesn't count 'cause Ichigo didn't knew them and didn't care about them (and for the sake of this fic), 'K? :3