A/N: Ugh. It has been an obscenely long time since I've updated, and I apologize profusely. My life has just been nuts lately, between mountains of homework, and illnesses, and just a general lack of writing time, but I digress. I am finally back, and I promise it won't ever be this long again. As usual, the first half of this chapter is the Sarah timeline and the second half is Six. Enjoy.
After about five minutes it becomes apparent that we're going the wrong way.
"Are you sure this is the way to Mark's house?" I ask Sarah.
"It is now," she says. "He moved out after he graduated."
"Isn't he going to college?"
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I thought that by the time I left Paradise Mark had finally gotten his act together. It's a shame he decided to go straight into the workforce.
"Eventually," Sarah says. "He's taking a gap year first. Says he needs some time away from his parents to sort some stuff out."
What sort of stuff does he need to work out that necessitates moving out? It seems odd, but I guess I shouldn't complain. We'll have a place to sleep tonight. Hopefully.
After about an hour we arrive at Mark's place. His apartment, actually- one of hundreds in a high-rise development. It's dark outside when Sarah parks, and there's a definite chill in the air that causes us to hustle quickly into the lobby. Once we get inside Sarah takes the lead, making a beeline for the elevator bank.
"Excuse me, miss," a stone-jawed security guard says, cutting Sarah off. "Could I see your resident's pass, please?"
Me and Sam increase our pace to catch up to her. The security guard eyes us suspiciously, but I ignore him.
"I'm on the guest list for unit 715. Sarah Hart."
The security guard turns his back on us, touching a hand to his earpiece. He mutters something into his mike, and doesn't seem to like the answer he gets. He returns with a grim expression on his face.
"I've just spoken with the resident of unit 715. You," he says, pointing to Sarah, "are on the list- in fact you are the list. Which brings to bear the question of who you too gentlemen are."
I glance anxiously at Sam, who appears to share my anxiety. But Sarah remains calm.
"Just tell Mark that John and Sam are with me. I'm sure it won't be a problem."
The guard relays this message, and after a tense moment waves us through into a waiting elevator. Sarah reaches to tap the '7' button, and the doors slide closed. The ride up is silent, giving me a chance to think.
Sarah seems pretty convinced that whatever favour Mark owes her will be enough for him to let us stay for the night even though we're wanted terrorists. I'm slightly less certain, for understandable reasons. If the government found out that Mark was harbouring us, he would be considered an accomplice to our horrific crimes. My consciences screams for me to turn around, walk out the door, and find somewhere to stay where my presence doesn't endanger people. But I'm Loric- wherever I go, I'll be hunted. And besides, it's not likely that the Feds will find out where we are.
The elevator comes to a rest with a ping. Floor 7. We walk along the neatly carpeted hallway until we get to the door with '715' on it. Sarah knocks: a short rap, followed by three long ones and then two quick knuckle taps. The door is opened almost immediately by the familiar face of Mark James. I have to say, he's looking good. He's wearing khaki shorts with a white, short-sleeved top that shows off just how much he's been working out.
"Good to see you guys again," he says. "It's been a while, dudes."
"Nice to see you too, Mark," I say, extending my hand, which he shakes firmly.
"So what can I do for you?" he asks.
"We were hoping that you would be able to take us in for the night," Sam says, getting right to the chase. "We've burned a couple of bridges, and we don't have many options."
I hold my breath, crossing my fingers behind my back.
"Of course you guys can stay!" Mark says graciously, stepping aside to let us through. "After all you guys have done for me it's the least I can do in return. This place really isn't meant for four, but I'm sure we'll find room."
Really not meant for four is one way of putting it. The entire apartment consists of just two rooms- a decent-sized living area, and a small kitchenette that's attached to it, with a small dining table. There's no sign of a bed anywhere, so I assume that the sofa folds out to become one. Besides the sofa and the dining table and chairs, the only other furniture is an upholstered recliner that faces the TV.
"So can I get you guys anything to eat?" Mark asks in a hostly manner. "I'm pretty sure I've got some Kraft Dinner around here somewhere."
"Er… no thanks," I say, trying not to sound impolite. "I'm really tired- I just need to sleep."
I finger the pendant around my neck as I speak- I'm actually pretty hungry, but from what Six told me about her imprisonment, it's magic should sustain me. Of course, I'd prefer to have a good dinner, but I just can't stand Kraft Dinner. When Henri and me first arrived on Earth, it was what we ate pretty much all the time. Henri said that we didn't know how long we'd be on Earth, so we should save our gemstones for important things like equipment for training and fake IDs. After a while, though, he figured that, really, we could both die any day, so we might as well eat, drink and be merry. But any taste for the stuff I might have otherwise had vanished- eating anything that often would have soured my appetite for it.
Sam and Sarah have no magical pendant, however, so they accept Mark's offer, sending him scurrying to the pantry. As their dinner cooks I walk over to the recliner, sitting down and pulling out my Chest. Its mercurial lock glints mockingly, as if taunting me with how little I know about what it guards. I place my hand on it and it melts away, like it always does. I reach out to open it, but end up stopping myself.
My Chest reminds me of Six. It was the last thing she ever did for me- rescue it from a pack of Mogs after they stole it from me in Paradise. And how did I repay her? Her final words before I turned my back on her ring through my ears, haunting me. I force myself to block the memory out, but I still leave the Chest unopened. The fires of my conscience don't need any more fuel.
Lively conversation streams from the other side of the apartment- abound with laughter, and no doubt a healthy nostalgia for the good old days in Paradise. I feel strangely separate from it. I'm not one of them. They can rest easy at night, secure in the fact that they'll wake up tomorrow. Not me- I may have distanced myself from Six, but that won't stop the Mogs from coming after me.
Further thoughts about my future spring unbidden into my head. Am I still one of the Nine, part of their noble mission? Can I still fight for Lorien just as nobly as I did before, but with Sarah at my side instead of Six? Or has my choice dashed that part of my life against the rocks permanently? If they win without me, will their children grow up hearing stories about the deserter, the one who left them to risk their lives alone, all for the heart of a human girl?
I don't know. I really don't.
Footsteps approach me, shoes clicking lightly on the ceramic floor. I know it's Sarah before I look up.
"Hey," I say half-heartedly. "How was dinner?"
"Not bad, actually," she says. "Are you sure you don't want any?"
"I'm fine," I say. "Really- I'm not hungry."
She frowns at me. "You need to eat something," she says. "To keep your strength up, if nothing else."
I close my eyes. I don't think I could eat Kraft Dinner even if I wanted to- not with the way I'm sick to my stomach with guilt.
"I'm Loric, Sarah," I say. "I don't think keeping my strength up will be a problem."
She is silent, but I can tell from her breathing that she hasn't moved from my side. I don't speak either. We stay there for a moment, and in the silence, with my eyes closed, it feels like the whole world has stopped moving. Then Sarah speaks, breaking the spell.
"Tough day, huh?" she says.
I crack one eye open, and then the other.
"Tell me about it," I say agreeably.
"Don't worry," she says. "Tomorrow will be better, right?"
With that she leans down and kisses me- just a quick peck on the lips. Then she's gone.
I close my eyes again, as exhausted as I've claimed. I start to relax for the first time today- not just physically, but emotionally as well. The feelings I've been suppressing all day- feelings of longing, begin to flood over me. But despite the taste of Sarah's lips still fresh on mine, my pining is for the girl with striking hazel eyes. The girl with charcoal-black hair and a determined glare on her infatuatingly Loric face. The girl whom I erased from my life forever.
I walk hesitantly from the kitchen to the dining room, holding a stack of canned food in one hand and a can opener in the other. I plop them both down on the table where Sam and Six sit, taking a seat myself.
"So who's hungry?" I ask, maybe a little too enthusiastically.
"I know I am," Sam says just as excitedly, reaching to grab a can of salmon and prying it open with the opener.
He passes it to me when he's done- I grab a can of something pretty much at random- I'm not all that hungry. As soon as I'm done with the opener Six grabs it from my hand telekinetically and hacks into whatever it is she's eating.
We don't have cutlery, but that isn't stopping Sam, who wolfs his salmon down in record speed. By the time I've taken my first bite he's reaching for seconds.
It's a quiet dinner, despite Sam's best efforts. He tries to engage both Six and me in conversation several times, but both of us are preoccupied. I have no clue what Six is so engaged with, but my thoughts are of her. It's funny, because it seems almost as if she's changed since earlier today, when I made my decision. You'd have thought that she'd be grateful that I gave up Sarah for the mission, but instead she seems on edge and snappish. It's like she's expecting a Mog attack any minute now, and thinks that being happy will let down her guard.
At least Sam's enjoying himself, I guess. He's on to his third tin of food now, and he keeps stealing glances at Six. As much as I'm grateful for the fact that he would have supported me either way, I can't help but think that this was the decision he wanted me to make, for obvious reasons.
Six places her empty can on the table with a loud clank, startling me.
"Time for bed," she says matter-of-factly, even though I'm still eating, and it's only nine o'clock.
I almost open my mouth to say something, but decide against it- if I were to dare question her decisions again she'd probably slug me. Or give me a highly disapproving look, anyway.
I shovel the rest of my food down my mouth, grateful that Garde don't get indigestion. Sam looks very much like he wants to continue eating, but he doesn't say a word. I hurriedly clear the cans with my telekinesis, keeping hold of the ones we didn't get to. When I turn back to look at Six I find she's already gone, presumably upstairs.
"Am I the only one who feels like our little adventure has just gained a chaperone?" I ask Sam semi-sarcastically as we walk up the stairs.
He frowns. "She does seem a little odd, doesn't she? Probably just anxious about something or other."
"That's what I figured," I say.
When we get upstairs it turns out that Six has already claimed the one and only bedroom in the house, leaving Sam the couch back downstairs, and me the nearby floor. We make the trek back down, frustrated, and crash onto our respective areas.
"That was one hell of a day," Sam says, hands behind his head, propping it up as he lounges on the sofa.
"You're telling me," I say. "You weren't the one who had to pick between the two most important girls in your life."
Sam shrugs. "True. I sure didn't envy you having to break Sarah's heart like that."
"My heart too," I say quietly.
"Like I said, I don't envy you."
We don't speak again for a while. I lie, eyes open, on the cold, hard floor for a while, but my mind is buzzing too much for me to sleep. Sarah's face dances before my eyes and her words slam me in my gut.
"Betrayer! You said you'd never leave me, you liar!"
The lies I told her seem so transparent now, serving only the purpose of making me feel better about leaving her. As I relive that moment where I utter Six's name and sealed me fate, I wonder if it was the right choice. Look what picking her has gotten me; a cold floor to sleep on and an equally icy Six. If I could go back and pick again, would I still stand by my decision? All that stuff I said about the mission and all that sounded noble, but lying here, knowing that I could be with Sarah right now if I hadn't been so selfless, it's easy to second-guess myself.
I roll over and pull out my phone, its glare nearly blinding my dilated pupils. I open my pathetically short contacts list and select Sarah's number. It's one of exactly three on the list- the other two are Sam and Henri. I stare for a moment at the number like I used to do back before we met up in Paradise, but so much has changed since then. If I called her now and she heard my voice it wouldn't be good for either of us. We may have parted on semi-decent terms, but I doubt she wants anything more to do with me.
"That's not going to help, you know," Sam says suddenly, surprising me.
"I thought you were asleep," I say.
"It's kind of hard to stay asleep when somebody's got their phone on full brightness," he says pointedly.
"Sorry," I say, stowing my phone safely away. "And what's not going to help?"
"Pining over her like that. The more you think about her, and how great things used to be between you two, the harder it'll become to move on. You've made your choice, and there's no backing out of it. Not to mention that Six would slit your throat if you did."
"I know," I say, "but it's hard not to wish for the good old days."
"Nostalgia is overrated. Look," Sam says, "if it makes any difference to you, I think you made the right decision. You looked past your immediate desires to the big picture, and made a rational choice. You used your brain instead of your heart. It's natural to wish you could have your choice back, but the fact of the matter is you can't. The grass is always greener, anyway- if you were with Sarah right now you'd probably be lying awake at night and cursing yourself for abandoning the whole purpose of your life."
"Yea- I guess."
I don't know what would be running through my head right now if I were with Sarah, so I suppose I can't assume I'd be any happier with her. Girls are funny sometimes- Six will probably brighten up tomorrow, and we'll be on the run again, having a good time.
I close my eyes again, significantly more relaxed than a few minutes ago. Sleep sweeps me off of my feet, and any worries that might have been on my mind vanish.