AN: Exams are over and I finally have time to write a chapter! Just so you know these () in the middle of dialogue are Kallian's thoughts. Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
His Royal Highness stands leaning against her door with his stupid, knowing, hot (evil) smirk on his (stupid) face. He looking at her tenderly and it takes every ounce of control she has not to punch him in the face or run up and kiss him; she can't decide. One thing she can definitively state at the moment is that she is woefully sobering up, so after a few intense seconds of staring at him (and definitely NOT picturing him naked) she turns her back to see if she can find more of wondrous Oghren's elixir.
"Not that I don't appreciate the view" (stupid see-through towel) "but do you mind turning around so we can talk. I feel like I haven't seen you all night."
"That probably had something to do with your stupid wedding" she mumbles (where is it, where is it, WHERE IS IT)
"What?"
"Um…. Warden business, very hush hush. Lots of…wardeny stuff involved." (oh shit, he's getting closer, what does she do, what does she do, what does she do).
Hands (thankfully not flowery Orleasian-scented hands) are turning her around now. "You forget, my dear, that currently we are the only Wardens in Ferelden. So, do you want to tell me what was wrong with you tonight, or can you honestly say you have a dire need to rub against Zevran's hair?"
"…Where's your wife?" (She knows it's in here somewhere).
"What?"
"You know the (damn) woman you…married today?" (Damn, it's right behind him)
"Funny story that. I went to our…bedroom" (she thinks she sees him wince) "and as soon as I walked in she started bawling about how her 'horrifying, harrowing, and hellish tale' had left her unable to contemplate even thinking about consummating our marriage, then she mentioned something about being a delicate, virginal flower, then she talked about Howe some more and then she said that I must sleep in a different room tonight because she 'simply couldn't bare it'. Sooo… I figured I would live up to my promise and spend some time with you."
She forgets the ale for the moment and almost smiles, "Really?"
"You doubted me, fair lady! I don't know whether or not to be insulted. I don't think I'm that bad, you?"
She places her hand on his chest and slowly slides it lower. "No, actually I think you're very…"
He stops her hand and holds it to his chest, "Stop trying to distract me with your temptressy distracting ways, you minx." (Damn) "What was wrong with you tonight?"
"I was overwhelmed by your attractiveness in ways that caused my mind to be blown by sheer sexiness and act crazy?"
"Rea… Nice try, but that's not it. I know you Kallian, you're not a drinker. So tell me what's wrong." (Why must he look so handsome when he's all growly?)
"I… I don't know. I was just sitting there at the wedding and I was sad and then Oghren showed up and he had some ale, and… you know he can be very persuasive, thank the Maker that he's drunk half the time because if he wasn't then we would have to seriously reevaluate the decisions we've made in his company, you should really consider giving him a job, maybe mine, because I don't even know what a Chancellor does, I mean do we chancel? 'Cause I don't think that's a word, can you make that a word? Oo, can you make wardeny a word, or would that be an abuse of power? If it is you could probably dissolve the Landsmeet and make up all the words you want and…."
Alistair puts his hand over her mouth (his fingers taste good…so do other parts of him, maybe if she moves her other hand) and brings the hand he does not have captured up to his lips. "Okay… you were upset over my wedding so you decided that the best idea would be to get incredibly drunk, flirt with Bann Teagan (SexyPants), rub yourself against Zevran's hair, and then disappear for three hours?"
She buries her head in his chest to hide her blush and nods. "Well, nice to know I'm still an expert at interpreting your babble," while saying this he starts to lead them over onto the bed, "I was worried I was getting rusty."
"I'm sorry I'm having a hard time with this. I know I said I could handle it but (your wife's psychotic, it's too painful, if I see Vaughn one more time I'll stab him in the eye) I'm just not used to this whole court life thing (not even the extremely fun servants)"
He rearranges her so she is sitting on his lap, "Neither am I. Listen, I know it's selfish and I know I need to be my own man, but honestly; thinking about living here without you to back me up and without being able to hold you in my arms at least once a day makes me break out into a cold sweat. I'm all shaky knees and sweaty palms whenever I'm around you or them, at least with you I like it."
She lifts her face off of his shoulder, "I still make your palms sweat?"
"I'm surprised I held my fork tonight." That has got to be one of the dumbest things she's ever heard (she is totally not melting right now, she swears), but she kisses him anyway. This kiss leads to more kisses and other things that should be kept private.
Listening to Alistair's soft snoring at her side she rolls over and looks at him. She looks at his regal nose and slightly too long lashes and soft hair and she thinks about how little he has changed physically since their first meeting.
She is standing in Ostagar looking up at a king. She knows he's a king because Duncan told her and the man said something about a "Royal Welcome", at least, she thinks he did. She can't be too sure because she was momentarily dazzled by the man's golden armor, not because it was shiny, but because she isn't quite sure how basically wearing a golden "Look at me Darkspawn! I'm an easy target!" sign for protection is supposed to help him (maybe the Darkspawn too will be dazzled?). As she is having these thoughts the she notices that the Golden Man is looking down at her (leering a bit too) expectantly, she mumbles something about being honored by his majesty before looking back down, hoping to slink back into the darkness. However, he doesn't let up, asking her about the alienage and her recruitment, all the while looking like an excited puppy (granted a very large, very handsome puppy), that's when she gets angry and snaps at him before Duncan puts her back in her place; however, the King just brushes it off and goes off to the next place he's needed, practically skipping along the way (do battle, war, and death really excite the man that much?)
Duncan tells her that she must mind some man named Al…. something (she really wasn't paying too much attention after her subtle hints at being tired and hungry were ignored). Duncan does not, unfortunately, tell her where he is, so she is forced to wander aimlessly, talking to random passerby, stealing the odd supply (she really does need that piece of wire for…something) before she finally climbs some stairs and hears two men arguing. From what she can tell one is grumpy at being called and the other is grumpy at being forced to call so they're both arguing like two cats fighting over a dog bone (you see weird things in an Alienage). Finally the one in the weird dress stomps off and a tall man (why must all Shems be so big her neck is hurting) starts walking towards her speaking of Darkspawn tea parties. She thinks he's a little crazy but finds herself caught up in staring at his face, his voice fades to a pleasant rumble and she's sure he must think she's crazy for the way she is staring at him but she can't help it. Something about the kind (and vaguely familiar) features draw her in, and for some odd reason she finds herself thinking she wouldn't mind looking at that face forever.
She was right that day. She still is, Alistair's face is one of the most warm and comforting things she in all of Thedas to her. No, nothing has changed about Alistair physically since then, same regal nose, same eyelashes, same hair (exactly the same actually, he wasn't kidding about that obsession).But he has changed greatly, some of the innocence in his eyes has been lost, there is weariness there that wasn't before, and sometimes he just looks so tired, they both do. But he has also become a man of firm convictions, a man who fights for justice, and a man who fights for what he wants. Because of that he's lying down beside her today, so she finds she doesn't mind too much
The next morning she wakes up pleasantly sore and sees Alistair naked at the door, bending down to pick up a note that was slipped underneath (now she gets the nice view). Alistair turns to her, note in hand, with an inquisitive look on his face. "Care to explain this Kallian" he says, handing her the paper which reads:
Dear Kallian,
We simply must have sparring today, as it is
Imperative that I get out all of my frustration
If I am to have a fruitful marriage. Call Ali
And have him armor up or whatever you do.
I'll be waiting!
Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elissa Therin.
Damn, she had forgot about that.
AN2: So I don't feel like this chapter was as funny as the others, but I had to get some stuff out of the way do we could get right back to the funny. I hope you enjoyed it anyway (please).