Roaring behind the ears, a dull throb when even thinking about moving, and a desire to go back to being unconscious constituted a list of symptoms from an encounter with one thing in Rodney's life: Wraith technology. He hoped it wouldn't become a habit, running into Darts and stunners, but life on Atlantis rarely turned out how McKay had hoped.

Ow. I might as well get this over with. Opening his eyes several things assailed his senses. The first was light, as usual. Squinting through the light and the second nuisance: pain (as usual), the head scientist assessed his surroundings. He immediately recognized the infirmary, he'd been in it more than an adequate number of times to know what it looked like.

A third thing brought itself to Rodney's attention when he did his usual check for any and all body parts. Starting at the foot of his hospital bed, McKay noticed his feet looked smaller, but at least they were still there. Moving on. His hands lay on top of the sheets and at his sides. Lifting them for a finger-count, he noticed each one was more slender and delicate than he remembered, unusual. The backs and palms of his hands were soft and well taken care of. This was odd, for even to Rodney. He always made sure he was intact and safe from harm, but vanity was far beneath Meredith Rodney McKay. His fingernails were longer too, neatly filed and smoothed. Who gave me a…what are those called…manicure? Then the big one hit him, or rather ones. Noticing his now curvy legs, hips and chest caused Rodney, actually Jennifer's face to flush. Suddenly Rodney remembered what happened in the lab with the storage device and Radek. That bumbling idiot, he'd only gotten Rodney out of one woman's head and into another.

"Zelenka…" Rodney groaned.

"He's hiding from you, Roddy-boy. Doesn't want to get his head ripped off by a woman," Cooed an all-too-familiar sneer from the next bed over.

"Cadman!" Rodney sat up, "You're not in my head."

"No, but unfortunately I'm still not in my own, and you aren't in yours either," Laura giggled, a rather unbecoming effect in Carson's body.

"That's my best friend you're joking about."

Shrugging, "Well he's not using it. I think the Dart's beam took a lot out of him, he's never been hit with it and he's still out cold."

"So he can't hear us talking about him?"

"Neither can your tasty little host," teased Laura

Rodney fumed, "Jennifer is not an object to simply be referred to as a 'host' and I am not a parasite like a Goa'uld!"

"You're in her head controlling her body, sounds parasitic to me. A tad defensive of our sweetheart are we?" Cadman sniggered.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about. I am simply concerned for a co-worker."

"A 'co-worker' whose body you inhabit and will have to live in. Has it occurred to you how day-to-day life will work?"

A few things dawned on McKay. He remembered how awkward he felt when he learned Cadman had undressed him while he was asleep. Now the shoe was on the other foot. The foot of the most beautiful and intelligent woman on Atlantis, which is connected to the lovely leg which happens to be attached to the—Rodney cut that thought short and started reciting the Fibonacci sequence in his head as fast as he could.

"Jennifer's face is completely red, Rodney," Laura cackled, "What have you been thinking about?"

"Nothing. I don't know what you mean."

"I doubt that Roddy-boy. I really do. But just in case you don't, I'll get the ball rolling: how are you going to use the bathroom? Carson makes sure Jennifer keeps well hydrated. That'd be sheer torture after a while. Especially if she doesn't wake up for a while; or if she woke up when you were…"

"SHUT UP!" McKay cried, "2,584—4,181—6,567," No! It's 6,765, focus Rodney! Don't think about Jennifer's… Agh, Cadman you witch!

Zelenka stepped into the infirmary tentatively, looking towards Jennifer's bed, he'd heard the cry so he knew one of them was awake. She was sitting up, staring at her lap muttering herself. A glance at Carson was even more puzzling because he was bent over laughing, tears streaming down his face.

"Uh, maybe I should come back later…" Radek turned to go but Rodney had known his voice.

"Oh no you don't! Get in here, before I make it so Carson has to Czech 'female' on your next physical exam!"

A disconcerting mixture: Rodney's physical threats delivered via Jennifer's voice. I should never have come in here.

Taking only a couple steps into the room, "I'll keep my distance thanks. Are you feeling all right, McKay?"

"Not really, considering I'm having an out-of-my-body experience. How the hell did you screw this up?"

Fortunately for the consistency of Radek's gender in his medical file he had an answer, "I got some strange fluctuations when we did the experiments with the mice, but it didn't produce any harmful side effects in the re-materialized mice. Those inconsistencies got about three-hundred and fifty times worse when you were used, considering the relationship in weight of a mouse to human, this makes sen—"

"Get to the point, Radek."

"I am now sure the problem stemmed from the organic nature of the Wraith tech rejecting our computers and the difference in their languages. But there's a good chance that some of the errors are due to some damage sustained in the crash. It would explain why it activated by itself. I think that the fact that it had stored two life signatures before the crash somehow told it to only store two. Thus it immediately shot Doctors Keller and Beckett back out and preserved your and Cadman's consciousnesses in their bodies."

Rodney let out a groan of disapproval, "We can connect to it but can't get it to work properly. That's just great."

"Exactly."

"How do you intend to fix us?" Laura chipped in, all the science talk went over her head, she just wanted an answer.

"We can reverse engineer the broken transformer from the fragments we have, but it will take time."

Both of the bedridden victims asked the obvious, "How much time?"

"One week. Two tops," Zelenka winced at the pained look on Jennifer's face, her features contorted uncomfortably. He left the two (or rather four as both Carson and Jennifer had woken but not spoken) to digest the information.

Rodney was devastated, how was he supposed to survive two weeks in Jennifer's body? After only a few days with Cadman in his head resulted in medical complications, and he couldn't hurt the woman he cared so much about. Guess you'll have to tell her how you feel about her now. Can't kill her or yourself without at least doing that much. It's not like she can walk away when she rejects you. Not now anyway.

Carson tried to speak, but only echoed as a voice in his own head.

"So you have two weeks to explore your new body and get to know your new girlfriend, McKay. Oh the possibilities…"

Rodney didn't hear the words she said, only her voice droning on, "Uh-huh."

"No really, McKay, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To literally be in the head of a woman, and one as attractive as Jennifer, you're a lucky guy. How many others would kill to get that chance?"

Whatever she's saying I hope she stops soon.

"I guess you're right."

By now Laura was having a hard time ignoring Carson in her mind; he'd been trying to get her attention since Zelenka left, and was screaming in her head.

"Laura! What are ya trying to do to Rodney?"

With a small shake of her head, Laura silently told Beckett to shut up and let her work her magic, or devilry, depending on your point of view.

"At-a-Roddy-boy. Go get your girl."

Laura rolled over, closed her eyes and faked sleep, blocked out Carson's moral protests and suppressed his control. I can't have you interfering with my plan, my Scottish prince.

Rodney was ready to die. He was going to go crazy so he might as well start talking to himself, "How am I going to live with her?"

"I don't know, but your sick plan is not going to get you anywhere, McKay, and you can tell that wench Cadman to go jump off of the Central Tower."

"Jennifer?"