CHAPTER 4

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When the morning came he didn't want to wake up. Staying in bed the whole day was really hard to resist, but he knew that if he didn't show up at the morning run, eventually Shadis would kick his ass out of the room and make his day a living hell.

The weather had been pretty bad in the past few days, raining randomly and he managed to get a nasty cold. His nose was running faster than Connie himself and his pale blue handkerchief was a disgusting mess by now. Marco suggested that maybe washing it would solve the problem, but Jean rather not touched the piece of cloth anymore. He chose suffering.

Also, staying in bed would have been a perfect excuse to put off communicating with Kalmbach. He didn't want to talk to her nor see her. He was still angry with her, but with the unwanted guilty feeling here and there made him angry with himself as well.

Playing for time until the last minutes he eventually crawled out of the comfortable bed. As he walked sluggishly to the eating area his mind was looking for excuses why he shouldn't initiate conversation with the blond girl. His own sneeze interrupted his thoughts.

It was well past breakfast time and all the food have been pretty much devoured. The cadets were still chatting at their tables, already finished eating, waiting for the former commander to arrive.

He walked towards the table where usually the few days old loafs could be found, hoping to find some heels, but luck was not on his side that day. Even the threadbare basket was missing. Confused, he looked around and his search proved to be a short one. The basket was in front of Sasha, who picked up the last pieces of crumbs from the button, before placing them in her mouth. She seemed to feel the boy's glare and sent him an apologetic look.

Jean took a deep sigh and tried to swallow his annoyance. First she was quite amusing with her pig-like appetite, but now he just found it irritating.

Great. He is not only sick, but hungry as well.

Cursing inaudibly under his breath he plodded to his usual table, only to find that Marco wasn't alone. Kalmbach was sitting next to him, seemingly having a cheerful conversation since they were both smiling.

Was she sick too? He wondered, eyeing the flesh pulling on the corners of her mouth. He didn't really know where to put it, whether it was appealing or unpleasant.

Despite this, he still didn't want to talk to her. Shooting Marco an accusing look, as if it was his fault that she was still hanging around he sat down loudly, deliberately announcing his presence.

Marco stopped in mid-sentence and both of them turned to him looking startled.

"Morning" said Kalmbach with a small smile. It was definitely weird. He couldn't help feeling the suspicion creeping up on his back. With slightly narrowed eyes he muttered rudely:

"What do you want?"

Her smile faded as she looked away. She almost looked as if he had somehow hurt her.

What the hell is wrong with her?

He decidedly ignored Marco's reproachful look, not feeling like getting an unsaid lecture. When she looked at Kalmbach again she already composed herself.

"I, uh…" she started slowly, trying to find the right words, "I saw that you weren't here and thought that maybe you might be hungry later, so… here".

As she finished her sentence a full, untouched loaf appeared in her hands. She put it carefully in front of him on the table. When he didn't say anything she continued.

"I also wanted to get you some hot water with lemon, but it was already gone when I got here… it would be cold by now anyway."

Jean looked at the loaf she had presented him, knowing fully its true meaning.

It was a peace offering.

It wasn't an unusual procedure between them. Neither of them willed to apologize after an argument, so they just acted as if nothing happened or in worse cases, gifted each other with uncustomary kindness. Jean wondered if things were actually pretty bad between them if she went the second option.

Deep in thoughts, he silently bit into the loaf, chewing through the dry crust before swallowing it. His stomach grumbled happily as he continued to fuel it, contemplating the carvings on the wooden tables. As he looked closer, the carved lines turned into names.

„Zoë Hange and the Annoying Midget were here"

The second name was crossed out repeatedly, but it was still readable.

"It was really nice of you" said Marco pointedly, which made Jean look up.

"Thanks" Jean muttered automatically.

"Yeah." She gave him a tight smile. " You look like shit by the way."

Ah, there she is.

"Charming as always, aren't you Kalmbach?"

"I try."

He gave thumbs up and started to munch on his loaf again. After eating for a while he decided to talk again, his mouth full with chewed food.

"So did you wamp to talk about sumtin'?"

Kalmbach wrinkled her nose in disgust, before answering. "Yeah. About Mikasa."

It was his trigger word. He swallowed with a big gulp and wiped the saliva around his mouth.

"What about her?"

"Well, you can't talk with her for five seconds before you look like you've been thrown into the sun, so I started to think; why it is so hard for you to accomplish. And stop giving me that look, because I'm not looking for an argument."

Jean smoothed out his expression. "And?"

"And, I think that your problem is that you are talking to Mikasa."

Jean feigned surprise. "No shit!"

Kalmbach gave him a slightly irritated look. "That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that if you would talk to her as if she was someone else, your problem would disappear."

Jean sat in silence for a few moments. "Like who?"

Kalmbach shrugged. "I don't know. Anyone you can talk to. But if you really want an example talk to her as if she was me."

"You want me to insult her?!"

"No you idiot" she said kicking his shin under the table, causing him to yelp and kick back. She was ready to kick him again, even harder, when Marco thought it might be wise to step in.

"So, tell me Amy, what did you have in mind?"

His plan seemed to work, since no voice of pain left Jean's mouth after that. With glare Kalmbach crossed her arms and continued.

"Just don't stress over it" she said to Marco, glancing at Jean while saying that. "If you think that she is me, you won't worry about her judging you and you could act like yourself. Which leads us to another problem; how to make sure that Mikasa never finds out what an ass you really are."

Jean glared at her and Keith Shadis chose that moment to arrive.

The chatting immediately stopped and the room fell into a pregnant silence. Jean cringed as Shadis' wet boots noisily squelched on the wooden floor. His expression was rock hard, loyal to himself and Jean seriously doubted that he was physically able to smile.

"Cadets!"

Everyone stood up, chairs squeaking behind them, fists clenched to their heart. Their posture was straight, their faces emotionless as they were waiting for him to continue.

"Get ready for running laps today! I want everyone to be outside by ten."

A mutual exasperated groan left their mouths.

"But it's raining!" Sasha whined.

Shadis gave her a hard look. "Blouse, double the laps."

Sasha groaned again, already feeling phantom pain in her thighs.

At last he turned to Jean.

"Kirschtein, you are coming with me."

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As he followed Shadis through the training grounds, Jean felt an uncomfortable know forming in his throat. He tried to remember if he had done anything wrong recently, looking through his memories, but he couldn't find anything troublesome.

Shadis made a quick turn and started walking towards a wooden lodge which Jean recognized as the trainers living quarters. Wiping his hands on his trousers he stepped over the threshold, following him into a narrow room. He was surprised to see that they were living in the same condition as the trainees did.

After closing the door behind him the wind's whooshing grew quiet, leaving the two of them in tense silence.

"This way" said the elder one and entered another door, pushing it open with a creek. His venous hand held it open for Jean, beckoning with his other one to speed up.

Jean quickly obeyed and slipped through the door frame. Not really knowing what to do he stood there awkwardly, until Shadis told him to sit down.

"So, Kirschtein" he said after taking his seat as well, breaking the pregnant silence. Jean's eyes shot up from his lap, his eyes slightly widening at the rusty voice. "I wanted to talk to you for a while now."

Jean chose his words carefully. "Have I done anything wrong, sir?"

Relief washed over him when Shadis shook his head. "No. Actually this matter isn't even really about you."

Jean waited for him to elaborate.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them honestly. Do you think you can manage that, cadet?"

Jean getting more confused by every moment nodded.

"Yes, sir."

"Good" he said shortly. "We will start right away. You know Amy Kalmbach, right?"

Of course I do, you moron-he wanted to say. I know everyone here.

"Yes, sir" he said instead.

"I see" he nodded and after a small search Shadis picked up a stash of paper and comfortably leaned back in his chair. "Thoughts?"

A/N: Hey guys!

Thanks for reading!Sorry for the long break. University exams are nasty creatures,but after next week I will have a lot more time on my hands.As usual, English is not my first language, so Grammar-Nazis are most welcomed!

Also, scottedog43 and zara, thank you for your encouraging words! I really appreciate it.:)

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. After this chapter, things will really start happening.

Penny for your thoughts!