AN:

Firstlt: Thanks for the review, faves, follows and alerts!

Secondly: I'd like to appologize for not updating last week, as this was strangely hard to write. And I was busy as I am cramming an entire year of Spanish 2 into a month. I have 112 vocabulary words to memorize today. I'm a bit mental aren't I?

Thirdly: I've updated the fist chapter slightly. I said that it happened in January 2013, but I've changed it to September. So far, thats the only change.

Disclaimer: all recognizable characters belong to appropriate owners, the rest is from yours truly

and now without further ado, I present to you...

September 2013

Shoes, Eyes, and Wishes

I hear laughter coming from the living room, so I make my way there.

When I enter, the Kings and the Cullens are already seated.

I notice Jasper first; a cup of juice in his hands. He's the loudest laugher. His sunkissed face is made smooth in the yellow light of Esme's cheap chandelier.

He's not the only one. Everyone has smiles on their faces, everyone is beautiful. Everything is perfect. Faces are illuminated and rounded as imperfections shadowed.

Rosalie is the most beautiful among them. Royce has an arm wrapped around her. Her head is resting on his shoulder, and her hair is like waves tumbling down her back. She's smiling, her eyes twinkling. It's her happy, satisfied smile. It's the smile she wears when she wins something from me.

Royce is wearing his own version of the smile. Lips parted like a predator, dark blond hair falling into his dark eyes. His fingers are woven into her hair. He watches her like a beast watches his next meal.

I shiver.

Esme sits next to them, gazing at Rosalie's face, smiling softly. She's dressed up in pale purples and light fabric. She looks as if she dressed herself in flower petals. A fairy. She's like Titania, already poisoned with a love potion.

Carlisle, who sits across her, is her opposite. His back is stiff, he dressed in white. His pale hair, pale skin, and pale lips are in contrast to the glass of red wine in his pale hand.

Next to him is a man in dark colors. His hair is a dark blonde, unsure of the color it wants to be. Long, wavy, and styled. His figure is large with wide shoulders. He has high cheekbones, firm chin, a perfectly straight nose, and such deep, deep dangerous grey eyes.

When I enter, his gaze shifts to me. His eyes meet mine. I'm a deer in the headlights. Time hangs suspended as if by a thread.

I think of the storm clouds that hang over Forks. I think of cold rain when you forget your jacket. I think of the sea by Elder's Cliff during the storms; wild, uncontrollable, a vortex of cold darkness.

"Bella, happy birthday!"

The thread breaks.

I am pulled into a hug. Panic shocks me as arms wrap around mine. Vanilla perfume fills my nose. I can't breathe, and yet relief floods through me.

I didn't think I'd ever be this happy to have the bastard touch me.

"Royce, thanks." I mumble and try to slowly wriggle free. Then a heavy hand is in my hair, pressing my face into his chest so I am smothered by deep grey of his suit.

Let me go

Jasper shouts something from behind me. The hand lifts, and my vision is a blur of color as a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I am hoisted into the air.

"Jasper, put me down!" I squeak in surprise.

He laughs and swings me around. For a moment, I'm thirteen again, flying through the air. Then my feet touch the ground.

My bare feet.

Shit. Where are my shoes?

You're such a genius, really. You are majorly screwed. What kind of idiot forgets to wear shoes?

My face colors. It's too hot and stuffy in the living room. My vision swims slightly.

"Looks like Cinder Bella forgot to wear her shoes today." Rosalie smirks.

Royce laughs raucously, and Jasper joins him tentatively. The sound is numbing. My back is held against his chest. The vibrations travel across my flushed skin. I can feel Carlisle's glare from his seat at the edge of the sofa.

My eyes drop to my naked toes; pale ugly appendages with chipped blue nail polish. I curl them into the dark wooden floors

Why am I such an idiot?

A pair of feet steps into my vision. They are bare.

Esme's feet.

I look up.

"Happy birthday, Bella." She says with a smile and pulls me into another hug. I melt into her and hide my face, silently thanking her for saving me. She lets me go all too soon.

"Bella," she begins, "I don't think you've ever met Mr. King and his son Edward."

The man with grey eyes stands and offers me a hand, and I take it with a moment of hesitation. His hand engulfs mine. My palms start to sweat. I notice that I barely reach his shoulder, and he is not as muscled as I first thought him to be.

Please don't let him notice.

"Happy birthday, Isabella." When I look up, he's smiling, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes. I avoid them.

"Thank you, sir." I force out. I drop my hand to the side.

"And this," he moves aside "is my son Edward, Royce's older brother."

"Happy birthday Ms. Cullen, Royce and Rosalie have told me many things about you."

what kinds of things?

I take a breath and look up.

He's smiling, but like his father, it doesn't reach his eyes. They are devoid of emotion. They are a beautiful color though, a pale green like new leaves held up to the sun. His hair is neither brown nor red. Unsure of its color, it is also alike his father's in that respect.

He looks like Mr. King. Has the same cheekbones, but with a stronger jaw. They have the same build, the same tallness that fills a room.

"Thanks," I mumble "but just Bella is fine."

He nods slightly, "Very well then, Bella".

"Everybody!" Esme calls, "it's dinner time!"

We move into the dining room, and I take my seat. Mr. King sits across Esme, and next to Jasper. Jasper sits across Rose and next to Edward. Royce sits next to Rose.

I sit at the head of the table, isolated on both sides by the King boys, and on the front by Carlisle.

xxx

Dinner goes by in a blur. I say nothing and smile, so no one seems to mind.

Jasper's attention is on Royce who is talking about the business classes he plans to take in college. Esme is absorbed by Mr. King and climate change.

Edward exchanges sarcastic remarks with Rosalie. That makes me genuinely smile slightly.

When dinner is finally over, I am so worn with the smiling that my face feels numb.

Then the lights are dimmed and Esme brings out the cake. Dark chocolate with the words "Happy Birthday Bella!" written across it in white sugar.

Carlisle lights the seventeen candles. Jasper starts the singing and everyone joins in off tune.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!"

Esme points the camera at my face. I don't know if I'm smiling or not.

"Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you!"

"Make a wish!" Japer shouts right before I blow out the candles.

I wish that I belonged here.

The seventeen flames go out, and my nostrils are filled with smoke. This does nothing to calm me. It smells of carbon and burning paper.

Carlisle turns the lights back on, and Esme comes over to how me the photos.

I see a girl with a pained smile on her face. Her cheeks are tinged pink with embarrassment.

The next pictures show her surrounded by happy faces.

But she isn't me. I feel empty. Deflated. Because it is true, I don't belong here. Twelve years, and I still am not a Cullen.

Twelve years of trying, and I still don't belong.

xxx

It's night now. I've washed the dishes, put away the extra food. I've seen the guests out the door and listened to Carlisle's lecture about proper dressing habits and table etiquette.

I've put away my presents. Books, most of them.

From Esme and Carlisle, though more likely from the former than the latter, I received The Cider House Rules by John Irving. Jasper gave me book of Greek myths. Rosalie gave me shirt from Target. The Kings gave me a notebook.

There are owls on the cover. The pages are unlined. Completely ordinary and impersonal.

There is a dedication at the bottom of the first page written in an elegant script that I can barely decipher.

Happy Birthday Bella! Have a good one!

-Edward Sr., Edward Jr., and Royce King

At the very back, I find written in a different and harsher script with a blue ballpoint pen:

"Life takes us to unexpected places sometimes. The future is never set in stone, remember that."

-Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus

I can't sleep tonight. I can't shake off Royce's hand in my hair, or my bare feet. Or insincere smiles and Mr. Kings eyes.

Even now all alone in my room, I can't shake off the feeling of being watched.

I turn in my bed and pull he blankets further up, ove my head.

I release a shaky breath.

The future is never set in stone, remember that.

Perhaps It's never set in stone, but the past definitely is.

The past never goes away.

AN:

Congratz on reaching the end!

No, really, I know how hard it is to read this chapter.

Especially the meeting Edward part.

I know and hate how short this chapter is and how it is written. I think this is the worst so far.

This Bella is kinda pathetic, isn't she?

Will you give me feedback? I'd really love some since I'm not really sure how well this is going over with you guys, or how I can improve.