Disclaimer: Yeah, I may have forgotten this in the other chapters but here it is for my whole fic- I (sadly) do not own any of the characters in this series. They are all the incredible work of Meg Cabot the Great. Also, I'd like to point out that the next Harry Potter book my not be published until 2006. If anyone else finds this agonizing, tell me!!!!!!!!!!!! But on a slightly higher note, the next (and possibly final sniffs) Mediator book comes in January 2005. Woohooooo!!!!!!!!! (or boohoo…)
I left the office feeling stunned. And not in a good way either. I felt stunned because of my own stupidity. How could I have lied like that?!?! What was I thinking?!?!?! I had lied. I had lied about my true feelings. I had lied about my true feelings to a priest. DAMN!!!!!
I headed back to Mr. Walden's class, only to receive an intrigued look from Cee Cee and a grin that said Busted! from my friend Adam. Cee Cee has liked him for as long as I've known them and they still haven't gotten together. Adam's just so clueless. Then again, so are most of the kids at the Mission. I mean, as far as he and the rest of my classmates can tell, I'm always in the office because I'm in trouble or just in need of serious counseling. One of those was truer than the other, and only now were some of my peers beginning to figure out why.
Several other people noticed me come in and I received an interesting mix of looks. A couple of them seemed to think I was crazy, because ever since the party it really did appear to be that way. How many seemingly mentally balanced sixteen-year-old girls suddenly start yelling things to invisible guys at parties? But on the other hand, most of them greeted me the way they normally did with smiles and grins, because they figured that they had imagined everything at Brad's party when they were drunk.
I wish I could make myself believe that, too.
I took my seat next to Cee Cee and mouthed I'll tell you later. Adam gave both of us a questioning look so I told him the same. I had a feeling that Cee Cee would want to spill the mediator thing to Adam, so in that fraction of a second I decided to tell him, too. Well, tell him part of it anyway. I wasn't too sure if Adam would be able to relate to the entire Jesse thing. Cee Cee had been through the whole unrequited love part herself, which was why I had been able to tell her. But who knew, maybe Adam liked her too and was simply panging for her inside the deepest realms of his heart. Then again, maybe Father Dom and Sister Ernestine are married with children, and aren't really Catholic but Lutheran, and we're all on the set of a giant reality TV show called "Find the Mediator", and Jesse isn't dead—
I have got to stop watching daytime TV.
Anyway, as we left third period (The Mission doesn't have bells because we don't want to disturb the tourists so the teachers just let us out when they see the long hand on twelve) and headed for lunch, I saw the last person I wanted to see:
Paul Slater.
True, he didn't scare me as much as he used to, because I knew that he and I were capable of the same things, (maybe that's actually a bit scarier…) but I still shivered when I saw him. Out of fright yes, but mostly out of anger, because the great twisted chaos that was now my life was only that way because of him. Too bad he had to be such a good kisser.
On the other hand, he had left me alone for a little while, partially because he had a broken nose and was out of school for a week (not because of his nose really but because he cursed at a novice) and partially because I think he was afraid of what Jesse would do to him if he so much as blinked in my direction again. But apparently he had something of his old self back, which I heard when he began to speak.
"Hello, Suze," he said with most of his old, smooth manner. "What's up? Want to come over after school for a little…lesson?" I hated the way he said that word. Like he was suggesting that he could teach me things. And sure, he could, but he had some etiquette issues himself, like jumping innocent girls who come to his house. And I did not want to go to Paul's house again. Sure, it scared me with all its glass and steel, but there was more to it than that. I mean, I didn't want Dr. Slaski to see me there and feel he had wasted his time on me and that I was a fool like his grandson. I also didn't want to relive the bedspread incident. But I still had to go, to protect Jesse.
I considered telling Jesse this agreement. You know, the one where I go and learn about shifting from Paul and Paul in turn leaves Jesse alone. After all, he had just beat the heck out of Paul and showed that he was more than capable of handling himself. But what if Paul exorcised him again? Then you go up and get him, said a little voice in the back of my head. You're a shifter, Suze. Frankly, that would've seemed like enough to convince me I didn't have to go to Paul's house, but there was one more thing.
Soul transference. It was something Paul had mentioned to me even before shifting. And it scared the hell out of me. Because just as Paul had said, it was possible, and it would give a person life, but it was murder. I could only begin to imagine Paul doing something like that to Jesse. Of course, Jesse was dead so no one could inhabit his body, but who knew what else Paul could do. I didn't. But I had to find out. Because anything he could do, I could do to.
"Yeah, Paul," I said in reply to his question. "But do you think maybe we can do it somewhere else? Like maybe, the beach? Or how about my house instead of yours?" Sometimes, I do amaze myself with the things I can come up with on the spot. And that one was just brilliant.
Paul grinned. "Why? Want to give me my third broken nose since I've known you? Or do you want to compare me and your dear old Jesse?" Well, Paul was himself again.
"No thanks, Paul," I said calmly. "Besides, you'll never be half the man Jesse is." I put every single emotional fiber in my being into the last sentence because I wanted him to believe it so badly. I think it worked a little though, because something flashed through Paul's eyes. For a second, the smirk on his face faltered. I smiled triumphantly. What was more, Paul couldn't even hope to penetrate my confidence with a remark like that one about comparing him with Jesse, because now that I knew Jesse loved me, nothing about Paul was remotely appealing anymore. I couldn't be warm for this guy's form, because I had my own guy form to be warm for. And it was living in my bedroom.
"All right, well….fine." said Paul, doing his best to look utterly nonplussed by my comment on Jesse. "See you at the beach then. And don't bring anyone with you." He had been careful not to say anybody, because that would have enabled me to bring Jesse, who…had no body. "What time?"
"Any time is good for me," I said, "But I'd prefer after school." All right, Suze! I sure told him. But he wasn't going to let on. Not for a long time.
"Okay," said Paul. "I'll pick you up." And then he walked off to another table. He wasn't completely welcome at the table where all the popular kids sat, but most of them, like the kids in my third period class, thought they had imagined him being beaten up by no one and suddenly being dunked into the hot tub by invisible hands, in their drunken state.
I sat down at our table, opposite Cee Cee and Adam. They were both staring at me which was a little unnerving since I was about to eat.
"So Suze," said Cee Cee. "What did Father Dominic say?" I gulped. But Cee Cee and Adam were the only ones who could know the truth and be remotely supportive of my callous decision this morning.
"Well, I...wait a minute, Cee Cee, does Adam know?" She just stared at me blankly.
"Know what?"
"That I'm a mediator," I said in an obvious voice.
"Oh, that," she said, "Actually, I may have forgotten to tell him that part." So we told him. Adam was a lot more willing to believe some of that stuff than Cee Cee probably had been, but he also didn't understand as much. We had to explain several things to him, including what an exorcism is. Cee Cee spilled everything about Jesse before I could stop her, but I didn't really mind, because Adam was pretty cool about it. Of course, neither of them knew about the shifting yet, but I would get to that, and what happened in Father Dom's office.
Sometime.