Chapter 4

Marinette lay on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling of her room.

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Only an hour back, she had defeated the akuma with Chat Noir's help. But it seemed to have happened years and years ago.

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The events of earlier were rather jumbled and unclear in her mind. She remembered being hit by one of Allura's arrows and then fainting, but other than that, she had absolutely no memory of anything. Chat Noir had told her, quite tersely, that she had been mind-controlled and Adrien had saved her. Other than that, he had stubbornly refused to elaborate.

Go and ask him yourself, he had said, uncharacteristically reticent for once.

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….Was he upset because another boy had rescued her?

A blush tinted her cheeks as she thought of Adrien, standing there on the roof before her.

He saved me. But how? And what was he doing there in the first place? Where was Chat Noir? Why didn't he try to save me? Where was the akuma at that time?!

"Tikki, I'm so confused. No matter how hard I try to remember what happened, my mind just remains… blank. It's so weird. As if someone erased that part of my memories." She massaged her forehead, all that thinking giving her a headache.

"Well," Tikki replied, "this is the first time you have been mind-controlled, after all." She said commiseratingly.

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She flipped over to the other side, absentmindedly tracing patterns on her comforter. "Is this how Chat Noir has felt whenever he's been under an akuma's influence? All this time? Is this how akuma victims feel?"

A wave of sympathy washed over her. Having powers of destruction and bad luck, her partner often landed the short end of the stick most of the times.

.

"You have to be more careful, Marinette," Tikki admonished her charge. "Adrien managed to save you, this time, but what if he's not around? You can't let your guard down, not even for a single moment!"

"I know, I know Tikki, but- I really wonder how Adrien saved me."

She looked at Tikki inquiringly, who shrugged helplessly. "Why not ask him?"

"But if I call him as Marinette and ask, 'Hey, I heard you saved Ladybug today and I was just wondering how you did it,' that'll be totally suspicious!"

"Then don't talk to him as Marinette." Tikki said meaningfully.

Marinette's eyes widened. "Of course! Thanks Tikki!"

"But you can't go to his house!" Tikki said, alarmed. "There are too many cameras there! You'll surely be noticed, sneaking into his room!"

"I'll be careful," Marinette promised, although the kwami still remained uneasy.

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A second later, she was transformed and swinging towards the Agreste Mansion.

"Kid, come on! You've been moping around all evening!" Plagg complained, poking the blond model harshly.

"OW! Would you stop that?! And in case you don't remember, a lot of things happened today okay? I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of it."

.

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Adrien lay there in the dark, trying to process everything.

One moment he would be squealing in happiness and excitement because I kissed Ladybug, and it was AMAZING. Then the next, dismay because she didn't remember at all what had happened.

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She had seen his identity, only to forget it a second later. Adrien didn't know whether to be glad or dismayed at that.

Then there was also Plagg's weird behaviour and the fact that Ladybug had told him, Adrien-him, that she loved him.

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"I don't know what's going on anymore." he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and confused.

In hindsight, he brooded, it was rather selfish of me to not tell her anything. And I told her to go visit Adrien. Ughh. As if she would do that.

"Kid." Plagg said softly, darting away under the bed. "You've got a visitor."

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A tap sounded on the window before Adrien could ask Plagg what he meant.

His eyes widened. Ladybug was knocking on his window?! So she really decided to come question him?

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He ran to the window and opened it, breathless at this strange but exciting development. "Ladybug! Please come in!"

"Thank you, it's rather cold outside," the spotted heroine said casually, dropping onto the floor with practiced ease. Outwardly, she appeared calm as usual, but her heart was beating a mile a minute. She was in Adrien's room. At night. In the dark. And he was wearing pajamas.

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"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Adrien asked shyly, feigning ignorance and gesturing her towards the couch.

Once she seated herself, he sat down a little distance away from her, stealing shy sideways glances.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you so late," Ladybug began, trying to collect her thoughts together. When he dismissed her apologies, she continued, drawing in a deep breath. "It's just that… Chat Noir told me you saved me earlier today? During the akuma attack?" she looked at him inquiringly and he had to remind himself to breathe. Those blue, blue eyes… eyes which had looked at him with so much love earlier…..

He cleared his throat. "Oh. That. Yeah, well, you were being mind-controlled or something, so I-so Chat Noir told me to err, save you." Adrien repeated, looking away awkwardly.

That was a plausible enough reason, right?

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"Oh. Umm, well, I was wondering, you know, like, err, how exactly did you do that? Save me, I mean." Her voice was rather high-pitched.

"I-I" Adrien looked into her eyes right then, intensely and she had to remind herself to stay on track. Stay focused, Ladybug. "I kissed you." he blurted out, blushing furiously.

Ladybug's mouth fell open. "What?!" she screeched.

The love of my life kissed me and I didn't even know!?

Adrien looked alarmed. "I'm really, really sorry, Ladybug! It's just… it was a love akuma so I thought….."

I knew that wasn't a great idea! She's going to hate me now, even Adrien-me!

"No, no, it's alright, I- I understand!" Ladybug's cheeks were as red as her suit as she attempted to control herself. "You saved me, so I should be thanking you. It's all good. Really."

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After a tense, stressful silence, Ladybug spoke again, curiosity evident in her voice this time. "But what were you doing up there on the rooftop?"

"Uhh-" Adrien tried desperately to think of a good excuse. "I was hiding? From the akuma?" he offered weakly.

Ladybug looked at him strangely but decided to let it go.

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"Ladybug," it was his turn to break the silence and she looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "After I- uhh- kissed you," both their faces were aflame- "You told me- you said you loved me."

.

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Ladybug froze in horror.

Of all the things I could have said, I said THAT?! What is wrong with me?! I just can't catch a break!

She stared at him, blankly, as he tentatively reached out for her hand and enclosed it in his own. "Ladybug?"

She jerked back to reality, suddenly noticing her hand in his. "Ohh, I-I-" a blush crept up her cheeks.

"Ladybug, you know, I've always loved you." As if sensing her internal conflicts, Adrien decided to put things in perspective for her. "I've never loved anyone but you, since the day we- since the day I saw you."

"No." Ladybug interrupted him suddenly. Shaking her head vigorously, she felt her heart shattering into a million pieces as tears threatened to sting her eyes. He loves the wrong side of me. He loves my mask. "How can you say that? You don't know me. How can you say you love me?" she pulled her hand away from his.

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Another green-eyed, blond-haired boy swam into her thoughts and she blanched.

Poor Chat Noir. How must he have felt when he saw Adrien kiss me.

"Ladybug, listen. I-" Adrien tried to explain.

"I'm sorry, Adrien, but I have to go." She cut in, already moving towards the window.

"But-"

"Please," her eyes were sorrowful and he felt his own heart clench painfully.

"Please, we can't do this. Not when he's- not like this."

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She leapt up onto the window and soared away without a backward glance.

"I have to talk to Chat Noir."

And then she was gone.