The Things Drunken Nobodies Do
HopelesslyxXxLost
Sorry for the long wait, chapter 4 up! I've actually found a new fandom, Prince of Tennis! Not sure if I'll be posting anything on that anytime soon, (since I'm the type that wants everything to be perfect before posting).
Thanks to: Silver-Pheonix Dragon, shinysilver, Virtual Libertine, Roxas4ever, and Vampiremist. Love you guys!
Summary:Zexion was usually careful when it came to alcohols, but what happens when he makes a tiny little mistake? Absolute crack. Mainly MarZeku, but with other pairings.
Warning: Umm…my weird sense of humor, drunk actions, cross-dressing, yaoiness…odd pairings.
Pairings: (Oh boy) Marluxia/Zexion; one-sided (and temporary) Xemnas/Zexion and Demyx/Zexion; Akuroku; one-sided Saïx/Xemnas; Xigbar/Demyx; and some other random hintings I may of have dropped in here.
Disclaimer: Hmm…if only Square Enix knew the torture we, fans, make their characters go through…don't own!
I NEED YOUR HELP! There is this one AkuRoku fic I read quite a while ago. Roxas was an idol and Axel was one of the stage crew who thought Roxas was a spoiled little brat. Riku is Roxas's evil manager, and the last chapter I read contained a suicidal emo kid by the name of Zexion. If anyone know this fan fic, PLEASE send it to me!
Chapter warning: fan girl!Kairi! If you don't like, then please don't flame!
Yes, I had to add the original hero trio in here.
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Since our idiotic, yet sane and not drunk, Nobodies had gone and made Saïx berserk, we'll have to deal with more violence. Blame: Xaldin and Luxord.
Luxord, using his control over time to his benefit, teleported over to the emergency telephone.
"Wussup?" spoke the telephone. Luxord stared at it, dumbfounded, "you know you should only use this phone in case of extreme emergencies."
"Look, the Superior is passed out, Xigbar is having make out session with Demyx, Xaldin's too busy distracting Saïx for me, Vexen and Lexaeus are fighting, Zexion's cross-dressed, married, and making out wit Marluxia, Saïx is berserk over some chick named Azula, Axel's trying to get Roxas drunk (and not caring about the whole situation), Demyx is busy for reasons mentioned above, so that leaves me in the top rank with the superiority to make this call!" Luxord said in one breath, panting as he glared at the evil emergency phone.
"Psh, shoulda said so earlier!" The phone sighed and allowed Luxord to place the call…
ON DESTINY ISLANDS
Ring…ring…ring…ring…riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
"Nya…" Sora lazily picked up the bright red phone, "'ello?" he mumbled, speech slurred from sleep.
"WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY AT THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS AND WE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW!" the person on the other side shouted. Sora rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
"How bad is it?"
"OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" with that, the phone was silent. Sora sat there in a daze until the message caught up with him.
"TWTNW!? That's the Nobodies' place! Hm…should I help them?"
He left to consult his friends.
BACK IN THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS
Luxord's eyes went wide as a claymore lodged itself in the phone, merely inches away from his head, "oh shit…"
"Ah, deal Luxord," Saïx hissed from behind him, "You do think that Azula is the most awesome character out of A:LA, correct?"
Luxord couldn't answer from fear.
DESTINY ISLANDS
"RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU!!" Sora wailed all 29 repetition of his best friend's name within a second, "RIKU!"
"WHAT!?" Riku shouted, annoyed at the Keyblade Master.
"I just got an emergency call from—"
"An emergency call!? We better get going!" Riku jumped off the Paopu tree and dragged Sora along to where they hid a Gummi Ship. Sora growled in annoyance and tugged his arm free.
"Listen, but the call was from one of the Nobodies!"
The effect was immediate. Riku sat back down on the tree in record speed and was, as before, watching the sun setting into the ocean, "Let them be, maybe they'll kill each other off. It'll be convenient for us."
Sora pouted, "sure, but—"
"—that's not nice!" Kairi's voice popped up from behind the two boys, "hearts or not, they deserve equality. Besides, they promised not to take over the worlds anymore and to keep to themselves, unless in case of emergencies. It must be urgent!"
Sora and Riku stared at their female friend, "Kairi, how long—"
Kairi giggled, "one of these days, one of you WILL make a move and I WILL be there to witness it!" She proudly held up her camcorder.
"Kairi, you know that you're supposed to love me, I'm supposed to love you, and Riku's supposed to be my rival in winning your heart, right?" Sora asked cautiously.
"Yeah, but you two make a much better couple than I do with either of you. Besides, Axel and Roxas are at it, and they're not supposed to have hearts! You two make me wonder sometimes."
…
"But I thought Roxas was only friends with Axel…"
TWTNW
Axel and Roxas were currently ignoring the mayhem happening around them; one intent on getting the other drunk and the other intent on ignoring everything until the mess was over with.
"Come ooooooon, Roxas!" Axel held up the cups, "I promise you, these things are so weak, you wouldn't get drunk even if you ARE really weak against alcohol!"
Roxas had tried simply ignoring the man, retaliating, walking away, and all the other tips he received on the drug-free program at Twilight Town. So far, it wasn't working. So much for D.A.R.E…
"Fine, will you leave me alone if I drink one?" Roxas asked, finally giving in. Axel nodded enthusiastically. One drink couldn't hurt, right? Especially if it is weak, like Axel said.
But then you should never trust Axel…
The drink wasn't a weak one at all. It was vodka. ()
() underage, have no idea about alcohols, so if vodka isn't a strong alcohol, then I'm sorry.
Marluxia and Zexion looked over the whole commotion, wrapped in each other's embrace.
"This is a wonderful reception…"
"It sure is…"
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Okay, so this one isn't as funny, but it's for the next chapter, which will (hopefully) be funny.
Challenge numero dos: Nothing a good observation can't solve!
If you were ever to be overcome by sadness,
It'll be great if you would share the pain with me
For your smile, I can probably do anything
My precious treasure…
Wishing you the bestest of lucks!