Sorrow comes in great waves...but rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us, it leaves us. And we know that if it is strong, we are stronger, inasmuch as it passes and we remain. ~ Henry James

Chapter Three

I picked up my fork and knife and cut a piece of my filet mignon. I closed my eyes and savored the perfectly grilled piece of meat. When I opened my eyes, I noticed Alice was staring at me with an annoyed expression on her face.

"What's on your mind, Alice?" I asked as I cut a piece of the lobster tail.

"You're going to make us wait to hear the rest? I want to know now!" she exclaimed. I heard Rosalie snicker as she cut a piece of her own filet to enjoy.

"Enjoy your dinner Alice. I have a feeling if you're eating when I tell you, you'll end up choking. Instead of focusing on my problems with my soon to be ex-husband, while you eat, why don't you tell me how my godson is doing?" I asked as a distraction.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me, but picked up her silverware and replied, "Eli's growing like a weed and he's getting into everything. I swear once I pick up one mess, I have two more that he's created. He cleaned out my entire cupboard of pots and pans last night and by the time I had put everything away, I found him halfway up the stairs. I just about had a panic attack. Last weekend he could barely drag himself three feet across the floor and now I turn around for a second and he ends up missing."

I laughed at her story and told her, "I'll come over tomorrow and help you baby-proof your house. We can go shopping for gates and locks."

"Don't forget outlet covers. Emmett caught Leah trying to put her metal baby spoon into an electrical outlet a couple of weeks ago. He bundled her up and dragged her to the store in the middle of that huge snowstorm that hit while we were working. I came home and couldn't figure out how to plug in my laptop. He got these box things that attach to the outlet and have a cover so you can have something plugged in and the baby can't get to the outlet or the cords. They work great; so great that I can't get the damn things open at all. I practically cried this morning when I couldn't get the cover off in order to use my hairdryer. Emmett found me trying to pry it off with my tweezers and a nail file. Then he walked over and pinched the sides together and the thing just popped open. 'Why didn't you push the buttons,' he asked. Why didn't I push the buttons? Because my hands are too damn small to push them both at the same time. I threw my tweezers at him," Rosalie commented.

Alice and I couldn't contain our laughter at Rosalie's story. She eventually joined in the laughter. It was nice to have a moment of levity in the middle of a serious night. We talked about nothing important while we ate. Alice and Rosalie shared stories of their children and I told them about work and some of my coworkers.

I put two small gift bags on top of the table when we finished our meals. "I went to campus a few weeks ago to interview a couple of medical students that want to shadow me in the Anesthesiology Department. After I met them, I stopped at the bookstore. They had a new line of kid's clothes and I just couldn't resist placing an order. Eli and Leah are going to be the cutest little Wildcats at the football games this fall," I said with a smile.

My friends opened their gift bags and both looked at me with shocked expressions on their faces. They each pulled miniature purple jerseys out of the bags. I continued by saying, "You could have them personalized with any number and name on the back and I figured what better numbers than their dads' old ones."

"Bella this is perfect; thank you so much! Jasper and Emmett are going to love this!" Alice exclaimed with tears in her eyes.

"I agree. I have a feeling that Emmett is going to put it on Leah every time I ask him to get her dressed! Thank you!" Rosalie commented.

Once the jerseys had been folded and put away, and the plates had been cleared from the table, my friends turned the focus back on me. "Okay Bella, you've stalled long enough. Tell us what you found last week. You only forwarded us two emails. Obviously there's more to your story," Alice stated with her pen poised over her legal pad.

I pulled out a stack of paper from my briefcase and put it on the table. I folded my hands on top of the papers. Alice and Rosalie eyed the stack warily. I took a calming breath and said, "Rose, you told me I needed evidence that he broke the prenuptial agreement. It's right here."

"I had been working like crazy after the holidays. It seemed like everyone had put off surgery until January. I hardly had seen Carlisle except for in passing for about three weeks. I finally had a break last Friday and I asked him if we could have lunch together that day. He agreed and I went to his office to meet him a few hours later. When I got there, he was in a meeting and the receptionist told me to just go into his office until it was done.

While I waited, I noticed an open file drawer. I could see all the files from where I was sitting in the chair opposite his desk. You both know I would never look at anything related to his business. I would never violate confidentiality; but I could tell the files were personal. From my chair I read the labels, 'C. Cullen Bank Account,' 'C. Cullen Medical Records,' 'C. Cullen Insurance Records,' etcetera. The one that made me walk over to the cabinet was the one labeled, 'C. Cullen Child Support.'

"What!" both Alice and Rosalie exclaimed. Alice had been taking a drink at the time and started to cough when she swallowed wrong at the same moment she tried to talk.

I nodded in response to their reaction and when Alice's was finished coughing I continued, "I looked toward the door to make sure no one was coming and quickly removed the file. The entire thing was dedicated to a woman named Maggie. She's the mother of a six year old boy; a boy that was born thirty-five months after we were married. He was conceived two months after our second anniversary when Carlisle went to a conference in New York. I guess he decided if he couldn't watch other people have sex, he might as well have sex with other people. I have a feeling that he never brought up his new interest to Dr. Volturi even though he was still seeing him regularly at the time.

Carlisle has the DNA results, a birth certificate that lists him as the father, letters and pictures she's sent him over the years, a court order for child support, and copies of child support payments drawn from a separate account from his usual account. There are even a few pictures of him with Paul, that's the boy's name, when he must have gone to New York once to visit him. I hate to say it; but he's a cute kid. It's not his fault he has a douchebag for a father. From what I can tell from the emails he kept, Maggie knew he was married when he slept with her. He demanded a DNA test once the boy was born. When the test confirmed that Paul was his, he paid for all of her medical bills that had occurred during the pregnancy, and he's paid child support every month ever since.

I removed the papers from the drawer and put them under my jacket. I replaced them in the file folder with blank papers from his printer so he would think the file was still full if he glanced at it. I knew he wouldn't confront me about taking them if he discovered they were missing because then he would have to admit it all. It was an impulse to take the papers. I had no idea how I was going to manage to get them out of the office, let alone return them after I made copies.

The perfect opportunity presented itself when a couple of minutes later, Carlisle came into the office. He told me that the meeting was going to run for about another hour. Then he asked me if I would want to run to our favorite deli and bring lunch back to the office for us. I agreed and he went back to his meeting. I put my jacket on and hugged the papers close to me under it while I left the office. I called in our order to the deli and went to a copy shop on the same block.

After I made the copies, I picked up our lunch and returned to his office. He was still in the meeting, so I quickly replace the papers. I set up our lunch at his desk and waited for him. It took every bit of strength I had to act as if nothing was wrong once he joined me. During lunch he told me about the trip to Seattle and he acted as if he was disappointed I wouldn't be able to join him. He complained about how the conference came at such an inconvenient time, at the beginning of the tax season; and that he would probably be working every minute that he wasn't in meetings to try to keep up with the work he would be missing. I listened to him talk about work and meetings and he even asked me a few questions about the hospital. On the outside I acted normally; on the inside I was cursing his existence. As soon as lunch was over, I excused myself so Carlisle could get back to work.

I went home and looked through everything in detail. I pulled out the prenuptial agreement and did a little research. I gathered everything I could find and hid it in my briefcase with some files from work. I carried them with me ever since so that Carlisle wouldn't stumble across them. These are copies," I said as I handed the pile of papers to Alice.

Rosalie held up the DNA test results, Paul's birth certificate, and the court order for child support that had been issued by the state of New York. A sinister looking smirk appeared on her face and she said simply, "He's fucked!"

"And with the emails you sent us last night, I'd say he's really fucked," added Alice.

I couldn't help the burst of laughter that escaped me. It ended as quickly as it started. I sighed and said, "I only sent you parts of two of them. I wanted to talk to you before I shared everything with you."

"There's more? It was bad enough that Carlisle's taking some woman that he's obviously having an affair with to Seattle, and that he wanted her to bring the same dress she wore the first time they had sex. And then she replied that she couldn't wait to fall asleep in his arms, naked and satiated once again! How can it be worse?" Alice exclaimed.

I pulled out the final sheets of paper from my briefcase and said, "It just is, Alice. It's much worse.

Finding out that Carlisle had an affair that produced a son was enough for me to want to divorce him. I worried though that if he had kept Paul from me, that maybe he was keeping other things from me too. I searched our office the next day I had off from work. I opened every file I could find on the home computer checking for anything abnormal.

It was pure luck that I was able to access his email account. He has his work email and a Hotmail account that I knew about; but the emails to Maggie were from a Yahoo account. I opened Yahoo and entered his email address; his password just happened to be saved.

For as educated and intelligent as Carlisle is, he's really stupid. I'm not sure what he was thinking by saving the emails that he did; but it's going to further his downfall. He saved email after email from various women over the years. Many of them he met through dating sites and internet ads. The one he seemed to use the most was a site dedicated to married men secretly wanting more.

Some of what I found appears to be communication with nothing resulting from it. Sometimes he saved sex chat sessions. There are saved videos where they used the cameras on the computer to have sex. Other emails were making arrangements to meet somewhere to have sex. I saved the videos to a flash drive and I printed all of the emails. The emails I'll show you tonight are the ones where I know he had numerous personal encounters with the women.

I'll read you the ones from the first two women and then you can read the ones from the last two women.

Lauren, I can't wait to see that pretty little mouth of yours wrapped around my cock again. Are you free tomorrow night? ~Carlisle

For your cock I'm always free Carlisle. See you tomorrow. ~Lauren

There were a few more from him to this Lauren over the course of six months. Their relationship or arrangements or whatever it was ended two years ago.

The next repetitive one was from last year.

Carlisle, I got the keys to my brother's condo on the lake. I know I just had you last night, but it wasn't enough. Make your excuses to your wife and join me for a weekend of uninterrupted sex. I promise to make it worth your while. ~Jessica

Jess, Bella's working all weekend; but I told her I was going fishing with an old friend from high school just in case. You're not actually in high school anymore are you? Oh well, as long as you're over 18 it doesn't matter to me. ~Carlisle

That relationship ended when her boyfriend caught them in bed. Apparently he forgave her; but she decided to end it with Carlisle because he said he would never leave me for her."

I lifted four of the pages from the pile and said, "These are the last four emails I have. I sent you part of the last two; but you need to read them all. All of these are from this past Monday."

Alice and Rosalie huddled together to read the emails while I poured the last of the Scotch between our glasses.

My Dearest Carlisle,

The last month without you has been difficult and I miss you more each day. Our baby continues to grow in me and I've run out of space for him. I hate that I can't come with you to your conference in Seattle; but it is too late in the pregnancy to fly. I hope you're home in time for his arrival. Being without you has given me a lot of time to think. I wonder if he'll have your eyes and my hair. I wonder if he'll get to know you; or if you'll start a family with your wife and forget about us. Child support is nice; but a son needs his father.

I believe I know where your heart lies and it isn't with the woman with whom you share your bed most nights, the woman whom you've tied yourself to before God, family, and friends. I wonder though if you're lying to me like you're lying to her. Is there a third or even a fourth woman in your life? Is there another family that you've made and pushed aside? Is there another woman out there that is as accepting of her position as a mistress in your life?

Why won't you leave Bella? Why are you taking these chances with me? I love you and want to be with you. I'm having your son and I want us to be a family. Our son is due in three weeks if he holds out that long. I'm terrified to do this without you. I need you, please come see me before you leave. Seeing you will give me the strength I need for the coming weeks.

I love you Carlisle.

Love,

Your Esme

...

My Dear Esme,

Of course I'll come see you before I leave. Bella works a thirty-six hour shift starting on Wednesday. I'll spend that night with you. I want to see the glorious changes our son has made to your body. Can we still have sex? I yearn for you. I can hardly wait to feel our son move again. I hope he has your eyes.

Why would you think there's another woman in my life, well, other than my wife? You're my true love Esme. No other woman can hold a candle to you. Another family I've pushed aside? Why would I abandon my family? I could never abandon you. I don't think of you as my mistress; to me you're the love of my life. If I'd have met you thirteen years ago, before I met Bella, we would be together right now, publically. I have less than one year left before Bella comes into her inheritance and then we can divorce and I'll get half. Then you and I and our son can be a family.

I love you my dear and I promise I will be there to welcome our son into this world. I'll be over on Wednesday night. Until then, have pleasant thoughts without any worries.

Love,

Your Carlisle

...

To the most beautiful woman in my life, my Maria,

My sweet, sexy vixen. I have to cancel our visit on Wednesday night. Something came up that I need to take care of before we go to Seattle. I need to spend Thursday night at home in case my wife comes home early. I'll pick you up from your apartment on Friday morning on my way to the airport. Make sure you bring that red dress, the one that clings to your curves, the one that you wore the first time I made love to you.

I'm looking forward to a week alone with you and no distractions. We can fuck each other from dusk until dawn with no worries about rushing back home before my wife gets home. I can't wait to have your voluptuous body at my disposal for a week...to hold your hips while I sink deep into you from behind, to watch your full breasts as they bounce while you ride me, and to watch you writhing in pleasure as I love you.

Less than a year now my beautiful love. You've patiently waited three long years for me to leave my wife. Our time is almost up now and then we will have money to travel the world; and even though your beauty will outshine theirs, I will drape you in jewels. This week together will be a glimpse into our future-fine food, luxurious accommodations, and no suspicious wives to ruin our fun. I love you Maria.

Forever yours,

Carlisle

...

Mi Amor,

I am disappointed that I will miss out on the pleasure you bring to me by missing our date on Wednesday night. However, I understand that you need to protect your story so your wife continues to be in the dark. I know it will ensure that our future together is lucrative.

Not only will I bring the red dress, but also enough lingerie that you can tear a new piece off of me each night while you fuck me. I'm counting the minutes until I can fall asleep, naked and satiated, in your arms again. The conference can't come soon enough my love.

Until Friday my love,

Maria

Dumbfounded silence was the only reaction from both Alice and Rosalie when they finished reading. They both stared at me with their mouths agape. I stared back for a moment before I picked up my glass and raised it in front of me. With an edge to my voice I said, "To wasting the last thirteen years of my life on that bastard." My friends remained frozen as I emptied my glass once more. Alice's eyes had glazed over and she blindly reached for her own glass. She tossed the drink back as if she was doing shots at a college bar.

Rosalie interrupted my story and asked, "How the fuck did you stay in the same house with him after you discovered everything? There's no way I could have kept my mouth shut or acted normal."

I sighed again and said, "Honestly Rose? A part of me has been waiting for something to happen. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I could never shake the feeling that he was hiding something. Things were never black or white. With Carlisle there was always a grey area. His schedule was always so busy with either work or the people from work. He would tell me all about going out with the guys from the office; but whenever I would see them, none of them would act like they were that close to him. It always felt like he was telling me half-truths. His stories would change just slightly upon retelling, but it was enough to plant doubt. I could never find any proof though; and then I would feel guilty and convince myself that I was reading into something that wasn't really there.

When I first found that folder in his office I was in shock. When I examined it closer and then found all the emails I was hurt. Then I was angry; I wanted to confront him and scream at him. When I started to plan what I would say to him, I realized I want to blindside him like he did to me. In order to do that, I knew I needed to act as if everything was normal. I want him to come home thinking his lies are in perfect order. Then I want to watch him as he realizes that he's screwed."

Alice picked up one of the emails again and said, "You know, I almost feel a little bad for this Esme. I don't; but I almost do."

I nodded in response and said, "I know what you mean. He's playing her and lying to her. She thinks he's in love with her; but in reality he's just going to up and leave her too. But she knows that he's married; she knows that she's the other woman and she seems fine with it. Telling her about Maria or anyone else would only help her; and she helped to destroy my marriage. She chose to live her life this way; I owe her nothing."

"Bella, I hate to add to your concerns, but if Carlisle's been sleeping with other women for years, you should probably get tested. If he has two kids, he obviously isn't being that careful," Rosalie commented as she bit her lip in worry.

I shook my head and said, "You're not adding to my concerns. I already thought about that. I went into the hospital before my shift started on Wednesday and got tested for everything under the sun that Carlisle could have picked up from one of his whores. Everything came back negative, so I'm okay. Now I just want to focus on getting everything set in the next week for Carlisle's homecoming."

Rosalie let out a sigh of relief and said, "Stay at my house tonight. You can borrow some clothes tomorrow and we'll go together to Alice's in the morning. We can go shopping and start the divorce paperwork. The courthouse will be closed on Monday, so it gives us an extra day to get everything in order to file on Tuesday morning."

I agreed and after I settled the bill for the evening, the three of us left in a cab. When Rosalie and I got to her house, after dropping off Alice, I made my excuses and went straight to the guest room. I collapsed on top of the bed and fell asleep immediately. I felt relief after sharing my burden with my friends and knew that with their help, I would be okay.

A/N: I love all the feedback that I've received so far; but I'm desperate for more. I'll make it easy on you—I'll write the review, you just pick the letter that best describes your thoughts about this chapter.

A) Carlisle is a bastard and I hope he gets what he deserves.

B) Bella should give him another chance. Maybe he can change.

C) There must be a misunderstanding. This is obviously a big set-up to destroy poor, innocent Carlisle's life.

D) (Feel free to share your own comments)

Hours go into writing these chapters, so please take less than 30 seconds to type a letter in the review box. Signed or anonymous, I don't care!

Thank you!