Author's Note: Yeahyeah. Next chapter. Scream for the angst.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed.
Whee. Sorry for the late update. I'm hardly in the mood to write these days.
Thanks to all who had reviewed the previous chapter, I'm eternally grateful. (:
Song: Heavy – Holly Brook
Enjoy. (:
Athrun woke up with a severe backache. He squinted and sighed.
The clock read 3am.
He rubbed his eyes gently, and stretched his arms.
Sighing deeply, he recalled the fight he and Cagalli had gotten into. It certaintly wasn't a small or trivial matter. If he guessed, she would be crying now. He had stormed into the study room after the heated fight.
I guess I must have fallen asleep….
Footsteps in the corridor interrupted his thoughts.
The turning of a doorknob, and at the door stood Natalie and Aaron in their pajamas.
" Natalie and Aaron? Why aren't the both of you sleeping?" Athrun questioned and advanced towards them.
They kept silent.
" What's wrong? Is Natalie okay?" Athrun asked, concerned.
" Why did you and Mommy fight?" Natallie murmured under her breath, her hair tied in a messy ponytail.
Athrun's eyes widened. Reality struck, they had the fight in front of their children.
" Natalie, sweetie…Daddy wa—"
" You think Mom was having an affair?" Aaron looked down, his hair covering his handsome face.
Athrun kept silent.
" Mom would never do that. She would never. Just so you know, she's still crying in your room." Aaron never even took a look at Athrun.
" Aaron, Natalie, you both have to try and understand…"
" What? What do we have to understand? That this is an adults problem and we kids would never know anything about it? We have to sit by the sidelines while we watch our parents fight?"
" Aaron, please. Not now. We can do this discussion privately next time."
" Daddy, why are you being so mean? Daddy never used to shout at Mommy…" Natalie looked down.
" Natalie, Daddy still loves you and Aaron very much." Athrun said gently to Natalie.
" But not Mom?" Aaron glared at Athrun, challenging him.
" Go to sleep." Athrun merely muttered, and brought them to their rooms.
He tucked them in their beds and kissed them goodnight.
When he was tucking Aaron in, he sat beside Aaron and sighed.
" Aaron, I know you're mature and intelligent…But there are things you wouldn't understand. There were things that happened when you and Natalie weren't born which resulted in a rift between me and your mother. I'm telling you this because I know you will understand what I mean. I still love your mother deeply, and you have to understand my reason for flaring up yesterday.. You still remember Shinn, don't you?"
Aaron refused to answer.
" I know you do…He was a great person, wasn't he? He took care of your mommy and you both when you were infants. It was the period of time when your mother and I were still fighting…When he died, he told your mother he loved her." Athrun paused. This was hurting…but he knew he had to explain it to Aaron.
" When your mother and I patched up, I asked her if she loved him…She told me she didn't. Now, I see her doing things that point to the direct opposite of what she told me. She told me she loved him, herself. I was frustrated…and hurt. I just really hope you ---"
" Shinn was a great person. He was a great father to us. I admit we had very memorable times spent together."
Athrun looked down. The words 'failure' kept ringing in his head.
You've given them nothing. You're just this hopeless loser. You never were there for them. You aren't fit to be their father.
" But you're a great father. You've given us all we've wanted. Mom loves you so much. And Natalie and I love you as a father. There's nothing you wouldn't do for us. It's taken me time to accept you after the special bond Shinn and I had, but your blood still runs in me. And we really appreciate you. This family needs both you and Mom."
Athrun looked up and tried hard to hold his emotions in. He knew Aaron and Natalie had formed special bonds with Shinn as young children. They were infants then, but Aaron seemed to recall more of Shinn than Natalie did. Besides, Cagalli told them all about Shinn.
" You don't have to explain everything to me. I understand." Aaron muttered as he sat up.
In Aaron's eyes wasn't the hostility he had shown. It was one of understanding and empathy.
Athrun smiled weakly.
" Thank you." He said as he ruffled Aaron's hair.
" But…"
Athrun looked at his son.
" Could you…talk to Mom? I know...the predicament you're in…but…She's really hurting so much. It's hurting me and Natalie too…I don't want this family to fall apart." Aaron muttered.
Athrun smiled. This was one special boy.
" Aaron, while I'm here, I want to talk to you about something else too…I know you've been feeling neglected because your mother and I seem to care and give more attention to Natalie. We don't mean to, you have to understand. It's be---"
" I understand, and I don't blame you both. She needs the attention and care more than I do. She's my sister. I don't want anything to happen to her."
Athrun nodded and tucked him in.
" Dad?"
"Yeah?"
" I'm sorry for being—"
" It's okay. Thanks on your part for being so understanding."
" I really love this family."
" I do too, Aaron. I do too."
As silent tears leaked from his eyes, Aaron turned and wept silently in the stillness of the night, the rare tears falling onto his pillow.
This family.
His family.
With AthrunHe gently turned the doorknob of the master bedroom and pushed it open slowly.
Cagalli.
A small petite figure was lying on the bed, trembling and sniffing softly to herself. Her head was snuggled into the bolster, and her hand was gripping the bolster tightly.
He walked over to her and sat beside the small figure he loved.
He kissed her forehead gently, and he heard more sobbing coming from her.
He leaned closer to her, and hugged her briefly.
" I love you, Cagalli. We just need some time apart to think…I'm sorry for yelling at you…"
Cagalli was tearing so much under the bolster. Athrun always made her feel so loved and she desperately wanted to be in his embrace.
She slid her hand into his, and she held it tightly.
" I really…really love you so much…Athrun…" She whimpered.
Athrun squeezed her tiny hand and kissed her on the forehead again. His heart was breaking, just seeing her this way. But he knew both of them needed to time apart to do some serious thinking.
" Goodnight." He slid his hand out of hers with a little difficulty.
He closed the door gently behind him and leaned on the wall.
Why do things always have to turn out this way?
Behind him, distinct sounds of sobbing could be heard. Faint sounds of his name being muttered could be heard.
He clenched his fists hard and sighed.
They needed this time.
At least,
He needed it.
Badly.
The next day
Athrun moved out into the idyllic beach house while Cagalli stayed in the mansion.
No doubt, she missed him so much, but she knew Athrun was serious about the think-it-over process he had mentioned.
She loved him so much.
She missed Shinn, but…she didn't know. There was something there that differed.
It was as though…
She had mistaken her admiration for love…
She sighed, eyes swollen from crying the previous night.
Her two children came downstairs, desperate for breakfast.
" Pancakes?"
" You're a lifesaver, Mom." Aaron chuckled while Natalie just sat there, waiting expectantly for her pancakes.
" Natalie, honey? Do you want pancakes or do you want something else?"
She didn't respond.
Her breathing suddenly became erratic and she held on tight to Cagalli's arm.
" Natalie? Natalie?" Cagalli shook her gently, fear consuming her insides.
Oh no…" Aaron, hurry. Get your father and call the ambulance!"
She glanced at Natalie, gasping for breath, and turning pale.
" Natalie, hold on. You'll be okay."
She held Natalie tight in her arms.
" Da..dadd.y…." She heard Natalie murmur weakly.
A tear fell from her eye.
Athrun…please. She needs you…Aaron
" DAD!"
Athrun took his eyes off the newspaper article that he was reading and walked out, to see Aaron panting heavily.
" What happened?"
" Natalie…Natalie's having an asthma attack…"
Athrun's insides clenched up. He bolted up and ran in the direction of the mansion with Aaron trailing behind.
" Cagalli!"
He ran inside the kitchen and saw paramedics lifting Natalie off in a stretcher, an oxygen mask on her face.
" Natalie…no…"
He ran to his daughter's side and grasped her hand tightly.
" Da..dd.y…"
" Daddy's here.. Shh…"
Cagalli was on the floor, crying and staring at the tiles.
After the paramedics brought Natalie to the hospital for a checkup, Athrun drove the family back home and carried Natalie to her room.
" Sleep, alright? Daddy's here now."
Natalie nodded and gave a weak smile.
Athrun turned off the lights and closed the door gently behind him.
" I'm a horrible mother…" Cagalli's tears spilled from her eyes.
Athrun held her hand assuringly and cupped her cheek.
" You aren't, Cagalli…"
" Athrun…It hurt so much seeing her in pain…." She crumbled into Athrun's embrace.
Athrun caressed her back and let her rest her head on his strong shoulders.
" It's okay…"
Cagalli cried it all out clung tightly to Athrun's shirt, which was getting wet from her tears.
Little did Athrun know…
She had problems of her own.
She couldn't afford losing him.
She really couldn't.
At least,
Not now.
The next dayCagalli constantly checked on Natalie and insisted that she stay in her room in case any emergency came up.
Athrun sat on the chair by their bed while Cagalli soothed Natalie.
" Hey, sweetie. You feeling better today?' Cagalli smiled.
Natalie stirred and rubbed her eyes gently. She looked into Cagalli's face and nodded, smiling cherrily. She had blossomed into a interesting, innocent, fun-loving 15 year old. She wasn't exactly good-looking like Aaron, but boys at her school loved her for her personality. Aaron was terribly protective of her, especially when guys at her school tried to hit on her.
Cagalli chuckled heartily.
" Do you still want to sleep a bit more?"
" Mommy? I'm okay. I want to go downstairs. Can I?" Natalie blinked her eyes innocently.
Cagalli hesitated.
" It's okay. Let her go. I'll watch over her." Athrun suddenly said, rising from his chair slowly, visibly tired.
Cagalli went over to Athrun and placed a hand lovingly on his face.
" Go to sleep. You're tired. I know you didn't sleep last night. I'll go down with her." She solicitously whispered, brushing stray hairs away from his charming face.
Natalie slid out of bed and slid her hand into Cagalli's and smiled cheerfully at Athrun.
As Cagalli left the room with Natalie, many thoughts flooded her mind.
Is this the family I'm going to be leaving?
Cause' I can't bear to.
Author's Note: Okey-dokey.
Yepyep. Didn't hit 2000 words, but sigh. I'm really tired.
R&R as usual! (; Pretty purple button pressing may commence now! (:
Yes, I love my reviewers. I really do. No matter how many reviews come in, I'm still pretty over it. Haha. Take care all!
-asucags.