"You are in this area at an unauthorized time," the little robot said, just seconds before sparks began to fly wildly from its body and its head popped off with a loud bang.

"They're everywhere," the Doctor groaned.

Ever since they had boarded the Horsehead Starliner for the interstellar cruise the Doctor had booked as part of their package at the Horsehead Couples' Retreat, the Doctor and Rose had spent the past 96 hours frantically dodging numerous small robots that continually tried to keep them on the schedule outlined on the cruise itinerary. They had tried to complain to the captain, but apparently he was extremely busy and was not allowed to have guests. Although it appeared that the Captain had actually been missing since the first night they had boarded the star liner.

The robots were everywhere. If Rose so much as went to the loo at an unscheduled time, one would pop up to chase her out of the bathroom. By the end of the first "day" of the cruise, Rose was so exhausted that all she wanted to do was sleep. Of course even that appeared regulated, as the little robots blundered into their suite very early the next morning to inform them they were due at the "Nebula Breakfast Buffet" in only ten minutes. No matter what they did, the robots interfered. On their second morning on the ship, the Doctor had tried to wake Rose up early, hoping for some privacy so that they could engage in the activity that had been the purpose of this holiday in the first place! But just as they were happily getting each other naked, one of the little robots burst in and informed them that they were engaged in unauthorized activities at that time.

Not only that, but it refused to leave! After ensuring that they stopped what they were doing, it remained in the room, standing guard to make certain that they didn't go into the shower together to engage in more unauthorized activities. "Marital activities for guests are scheduled for the first two hours of the authorized end cycle period," the little robot had announced. "According to the itinerary, the masculine relationship figure currently is to be selecting the feminine relationship figure's clothing for today. Only those feminine figures with a body mass index of less than fifteen percent are permitted to wear swimwear that reveals their abdominal features if. Any feminine figures with a body mass index of fifteen percent or greater are only authorized to wear swimwear that covers the abdominal features. In addition, short pants are to be worn over swimwear until the authorized swimming time."

Many of the guests were afraid to disobey the robots, but the Doctor and Rose continually tried to engage in activities not authorized by the official itinerary. Eventually, when a rather robust looking woman whacked a robot with her parasol over dinner, the Doctor began using the sonic screwdriver on any robot that tried to regulate their behaviour. Unfortunately for the robots, the sonic screwdriver frequently caused serious internal disruption and often resulted in the destruction of the robot.

No sooner had the head of the most recently deactivated robot hit the ground, another one approached. "All guests are now scheduled to return to their quarters and prepare for dinner," it announced mechanically.

Rose groaned and looked ready to cry as she and the Doctor were ushered back to their suite. As they entered, the robot spoke again. "Guests are scheduled to check their occasional table for a note from the captain," it said. The robot remained standing stolidly in the doorway, apparently unwilling to depart until the "guests" had performed their scheduled activity.

The Doctor and Rose trudged into the room and looked down at the small envelope that lay in the exact centre of the table. "This must be it," Rose said dully, picking up the envelope and looking at it curiously.

"Guests are scheduled to open and read the message from the captain," the little robot said.

The Doctor glared at the robot and snatched the envelope from Rose. "I'd like to see what he's got to say," he snorted, tearing the envelope open and pulling out a little card embossed with the words "Thank You." His eyes widened as he read the message inside the card. "The ship's AI systems are malfunctioning and I am being held prisoner in my quarters by several security drones. All service robots are operating in an automatic default mode to ensure the safety of all guests. Your profile says that you are a hero from your system. I have managed to override the safety protocol for you and your wife. Please help me."

Rose's jaw dropped. "You're kidding," she said incredulously, taking the little card from the Doctor and reading it for herself. "This is not what I had in mind when you said 'just like old times'."

"Guests are scheduled to save the captain at this time," the robot intoned. They both looked at the robot, and then at each other.

"Fantastic," the Doctor said, as he took Rose's hand. Both grinned wickedly before dashing out the door.

888

The Doctor and Rose barely made it back to their guest quarters before Rose yanked off the ridiculous Hawaiian shirt that the Doctor had been authorized to wear. The shorts Rose had been authorized to wear soon followed, taking her bikini bottoms with them.

"God I love it when you get so… authoritative and… and… just…" Rose growled, tangling her fingers in his chest hair. "I wanted to shag you right then and there…"

"I know," the Doctor replied, his voice heavy with desire as he hurriedly untied her bikini top and flung it over his shoulder. It landed on the chandelier and seemed content to hang there as the Doctor swept Rose into his arms and tossed her gently onto the bed. Rose squealed happily as he advanced upon her, covering her body with his own.

"You still have your…" Rose groaned, tugging at the back of his authorized Bermuda shorts. "Get them off. Get them off now…"

The Doctor flopped over onto his back and fought to get the shorts off. Before he could roll back to Rose, she had flung herself upon him and was straddling his stomach and kissing him heatedly. Just as he flipped them over once again, there was a loud knock on the door.

Rose howled, "NO!" and then began to sob. "Why won't they leave us alone?!"

The Doctor growled, scrambled off the bed, and yanked the room door open. "What is it now?" he bellowed.

The little service robot's wheeled squealed as it reversed in a hurry. "The captain has requested the presence of Thyme Lord and his wife for banquet in their honour. The banquet is scheduled to start in fifteen minutes. Casual attire is encouraged." As soon as it finished speaking, the little robot scurried away, its wheels squeaking as it hurried around the corridor corner.

The Doctor groaned with aggravation as he closed the door. Rose already had the suitcases open, searching for appropriate clothing. He pursed his lips as she pulled on underwear and jeans. Glancing downwards, he sighed. "I have to take a cold shower first."

Rose quickly intercepted him as he began to stomp towards the bathroom, shoving him against the closest wall. The Doctor's eyes widened as she licked her lips and then dropped to her knees in front of him. Her fingers wrapped around his erection only moments before he was engulfed in her mouth. He moaned and gripped her hair as her hand and mouth worked in tandem to bring him quickly to completion.

The Doctor slumped against the wall as Rose climbed to her feet , wiping at the corners of her mouth before licking her fingers greedily. Her eyes glimmered mischievously as she turned away to finish getting dressed. He just stood there, smirking like an idiot, until his jeans and jumper collided with his face.

888

The Doctor licked his lips as he watched Rose giggling with a couple of women close to her own age. Her skin was flushed a soft pink from the champagne that had been flowing freely at the party. Everyone had been so happy that the little robots were no longer aggressively enforcing the official schedule that a few of them were whizzing about the room with shiny beaded necklaces hanging around what should have been their necks.

To the Doctor's eternal gratitude, the party was at long last winding down. He breathed a sigh of relief, realising that he wasn't sure how much longer he could manage to sit quietly and keep a smile plastered on his face when all he really wanted to do was drag Rose back to their room and not let her out of their bed for a week. Or perhaps two. What she had done for him earlier had been utterly fantastic. He always loved it when she went down on him with that sort of enthusiasm. But it was nothing compared to being inside of her. Her mouth was deliciously warm and wet, but her sweet centre was like fire around him -- soft and hot, clenching around him as he drove her over the brink again and again.

As he sat watching his lover enjoying herself, dreaming of what he would do to her when they finally returned to their room, he realised that he was thinking about their first time together. How he had lost control, leaving bite marks all over her skin during their first frantic coupling.

He'd never lost control of himself like that again with Rose. But it had been so long since the two of them had been able to be together… would he be able to restrain himself this time? Time Lords were not supposed to give in to base desires. And a Time Lord who could not control himself could not control other things, such as making certain his lover did not end up pregnant.

He'd been unable to control himself with Rose, their first time together. But he knew that he had no regrets. He wouldn't trade Muri or what he had with Rose, for anything. And he hoped he never tired of seeing the universe through their eyes.

The Doctor glanced away from Rose to accept a glass of wine from a tray being held out to him by one of the little robots. When he looked back, she was no longer standing with the group of young women. He scanned the crowd quickly, searching for her and soon caught sight of her across the room, standing near one of the many exits to the ballroom. He grinned happily when she raised her eyebrows and crooked her finger at him before ducking out of the room. He put down the untouched drink and eagerly made his way across the room and out of the door Rose had gone out of.

The Doctor was prepared to track Rose all the way down the long corridor but as soon as he passed through the door, someone grabbed the back of his jacket, spun him around, and yanked him forwards. A pair of soft, plump lips were pressed to his own and inhaling deeply, he breathed in the scent of Rose as he buried his fingers in her hair to return the kiss.

The pair staggered back until Rose was backed up against a wall. She clung to him desperately, grinding her hips into his until he could not help himself from doing the same to her. Moaning softly, Rose wrapped her arms around the Doctor's neck and pressed her body against his.

When he had first planned their holiday, he had made lists in his head of things he wanted to do with Rose. And to Rose. They had all been driven out of his mind by the need to evade robots, and later to rescuing the captain. But now everything came flooding back; what he had wanted, what she had wanted… what they had been denied for so long.

He lifted Rose up, sandwiching her between his body and the wall, while she wrapped her legs around his hips. The Doctor could smell the hormones flooding into her, taste her arousal each time his tongue brushed hers. His fingers dug into her hips as he captured her lips for another desperate kiss. "I… want to do such… unimaginable things to you right now," he panted against her mouth.

"Such as?" Rose said breathlessly.

"Right here. Right now. Where anyone could see…" he growled. "And dare them to---"

"There you are!"

The Doctor and Rose groaned in frustration as they heard the captain's voice. "Mister and Mistress Lord… It is time for a speech!"

"I've already done a speech thanks. Made me uncomfortable," the Doctor said darkly, glaring at the little round man.

The Captain fidgeted for a moment. "No, no… not a speech by you. A speech by some of the other passengers… some very important people who were on board the ship… who you rescued…"

The Doctor lowered Rose to her feet once more and sighed heavily. What he wouldn't give to be able to take Rose and run to the TARDIS right now, escape from this nightmare of a holiday, go somewhere where they could do as they pleased, with no more "agendas" to follow. But no, the TARDIS was back on the docks in storage until their return.

As they followed the captain back to the party, Rose rolled her eyes and groaned softly, "God, I wish we had the TARDIS right now."

They shared a grin and suddenly the party seemed just a little more tolerable.

888

Muri pursed her lips as she watched a variety of ladies chattering away while having their nails painted and bejewelled. Sometimes she found Earth customs terribly silly, just like her Dad did when Mum insisted on going to the wedding of one of her old mates or purchasing something for a baby shower. But there were some things that she and her Mum agreed were brilliant despite her Dad's disapproval.

She quite liked the slides and playgrounds on the Powell Estates. She really liked Easter, though she found the premise very odd. No matter how many times her mum tried to explain what bunnies and eggs had to do with someone coming back to life, she hadn't a clue. But then, neither did Mum really, until Dad explained that the eggs and bunnies went back to a pre-Christian spring festival that had been celebrated around the same time and that in fact many of the holidays Mum celebrated had originated the same way. Muri decided it was a surprisingly sensible thing for humans to do, combining two holidays into one, but Mum and Dad had both laughed when she informed them of her views.

And then there were some Earth customs that just fascinated her.

When Muri wanted time to relax and be by herself, she typically got her favourite book and settled down on the rug in the TARDIS library with a cup of tea. On Earth, it seemed that girls went to shops like this one to have their feet and hands massaged and their nails painted and decorated when they wanted to relax.

And such a place is where Auntie Gwen had brought her to one of these shops for what she called a "girls' day out." Auntie Gwen had gotten her hair trimmed and had asked Muri if she would like a trim as well. Muri had jutted her nose in the air and refused, saying politely, "No thank you. I wish to have long hair." But they had washed and dried her hair, which made her head feel very nice and they had put on some lotions that made it smell lovely. She even got her hands and feet massaged which, to put it in human terms, had been heavenly.

"Would you like to have your fingernails painted, Muri?" Auntie Gwen asked.

Muri pursed her lips and though about this. "Is the polish free from formaldehyde, toluene, and DPB's?" she asked.

The woman who was currently painting Auntie Gwen's nails looked at Muri blankly. "Pardon?"

"Harmful chemicals that can do damage to humans," Muri explained, hugging Shatner tightly. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Do you have any organic nail polishes? Mum and Dad have us on an almost purely organic lifestyle and I would really hate to return home with unsavoury chemicals on my fingers and toes." She cocked her head to the side to study the woman.

"You mean all that 'live natural' rubbish?" the woman asked, laughing. "That's all just marketing stuff. A little nail polish never did anyone any harm, now did it?"

Muri blinked at the poor human who obviously had no clue what she was talking about. "Well, actually, did you know that, in the late twentieth century, morticians have to use sixty percent less formaldehyde when embalming people than in previous centuries? It's because humans absorb so much formaldehyde from products such as house paint, foods, and even nail polish, that their bodies are already partially preserved?"

The woman stared at Muri, her mouth dropping open. As she continued to explain about the importance of a toxin-free environment, as her Dad had done several times to her, Muri became aware that Auntie Gwen was speaking rapidly to someone at a cash register in the front of the shop. Suddenly, Auntie Gwen reappeared and gave the nail technician a few pound notes. She quickly grabbed Muri's hand, gave a rushed apology, and ushered her quickly out of the shop and into the street.

Muri took a deep breath, pleased to be away from the overpowering scents that had been playing havoc on her acute, Time Lady senses. She slipped her hand into Auntie Gwen's and looked up at her. "I'm apologise if I interfered with your relaxation ritual, Auntie Gwen," she said tentatively. She hoped Auntie Gwen was not angry with her.

"That's okay, little one," Auntie Gwen said with a soft grin as she knelt down to Muri's level. Gwen reached up with her free hand and affectionately tucked a bit of hair behind Muri's ear. "I sometimes forget that you're not completely familiar with the way we do things here on Earth. You have to be careful because we're not the only organisation that deals with aliens and none of them would love you as much as meself and your Uncles Jack and Rhys."

"And Auntie Ianto?" Muri asked, clutching Shatner tightly.

She gave a soft laugh. "And your Auntie Ianto." She stood back to her full height and swung their joined hands. "I'll tell you what though… I didn't much like the smell of that place anyway. There's a nice little place just around the corner that sells organic cosmetics and nail polishes. We could get some and paint your nails back at my flat."

"I'd like that very much, Auntie Gwen," Muri replied happily, relieved that she had only mistaken Auntie Gwen's urgency with concern. "Can we get some ice cream?"

Auntie Gwen grinned. "Of course we can."

Muri's eyes widened and she skipped alongside of Auntie Gwen. "Did I ever tell you about the one time Da took me and Mum to Barcelona for the 47th annual Ice Cream Festival? We got to make an ice cream castle, like at the beach only it was made of ice cream instead of sand!"

"No you haven't," Auntie Gwen replied with interest. "Why don't you tell me while we're on our way to the shop?"