Twilight – Against All Odds

Author: L

Chapter 4 – Shatter, Shimmer and Sunlight

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

Leah's Point of View

I waited nervously for his reaction, predicting another piece of my heart snapping off when he finally decided to reply. The one thing that I had not expected was the fed-up look that he was staring at me with. Jacob opened his mouth several times but he was unable to conjure any sound.

"Jake, whatever it is that you want to say, just say it," I told him. Embarrassment washed over me when I heard the quiet desperation in my voice. It didn't sound anything like me.

His eyes grew darker under the shadow of his furrowed eyebrows. "I'm tired of people acting this way about Nessie," he said gruffly. "I know we both used to hate imprinting but it's not that bad. It feels nice having a soul mate, and I don't care that she's half-vampire. I love her."

It pierced all my defences and I watched him with disbelief. The fact that he had completely misunderstood why I was upset didn't seem as important as those three words he had said. I hated the jealousy that was beginning to cloud my thoughts and I considered telling him the truth.

When I turned my attention back to him, the tender longing that was in his eyes silenced me. My name didn't have to be Edward Cullen for me to know where Jacob really wanted to be. The second that he was sure I wasn't contemplating suicide, he would leave me again.

"You should go," I murmured. Seeing the indecision on his face, I continued, "No, really, Nessie's probably really missing you. Jake, you don't have to worry about me."

There was an increase in my heart rate when I saw the concern on his face. Even if he wasn't in love with me, at least he still cared about me. My momentary surge of joy vanished as he spoke again but he didn't notice the abrupt change in my expression.

"I better get back to the Cullens in case anything happened to Nessie while I was gone. I'm glad you're alright though," he said hastily with his back to me, walking in the direction of the forest. Pausing before he disappeared from sight, he called, "Don't worry, Leah; I'm sure you'll imprint soon and I know he will make you as happy as Nessie has made me."

He didn't see the crestfallen expression on my face as he phased, leaving me standing there, mourning the loss of something that I never really had. There were a lot of things that could fit under that description – Jacob, Jacob's love, Jacob's children and a future with Jacob. The list could go on and on but it would always be about Jacob.

Rather than allowing the whole of La Push to witness my breakdown, I stomped through the front door and entered into the comfort of my bedroom. Feeling weak is not acceptable and I had slipped up too many times already in the recent weeks.

Picking up my pillow, I started attacking it with my hands until it tore apart; the feathers fluttered around me like confetti snowing down. I grabbed the lamp on the bedside table and launched it forcefully against the opposite wall. It shattered, shimmering in every direction as the sunlight hit it.

A gentle knock on the door stopped me in the middle of my violent outburst. I had been so absorbed in destroying everything in sight that I hadn't heard the front door open. Instead of responding, I waited to see who it was that had the nerve to disturb me when I was in a mood like this.

The door cracked open slightly to reveal an anxious Seth. He entered my room cautiously, eying the ripped fabric and broken glass but wisely choosing not to comment on them. Seth was now staring at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

In the uneasy silence, a hopeful thought suddenly crossed my mind. When I cleared my throat loudly in order to get him to look at me, Seth jumped and looked startled but I ignored his reaction.

"Did Jacob send you to check up on me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice casual and my breathing even.

From the blank expression that covered his face, I knew I was reading too much into it. He looked confused at my distraught and waited before speaking up again.

"No, Jacob's just been playing with Nessie," Seth replied. When he realised that this wasn't the right answer, he carried on down the wrong path. "He told us that you were upset because every member of the pack has imprinted except you but Leah, you'll probably imprint before I do."

Grumbling quietly, I muttered, "Stupid, brainless alpha."

He carried on speaking, having not heard the comment that I had made about his idol. "And then Bella asked him if that was the real reason you were unhappy, but he didn't reply because he was looking after Nessie so Bella asked me to come and make you were OK."

That bloodsucker must have told Bella how I felt and what I had been thinking about. I wanted to tear his head off for not minding his own business but then again, it did make me feel better knowing that I had somebody supporting me. It's strange though, I'm competing against her daughter for her best friend's love yet she's on my side.

"How did Jacob look when he was talking about me?" I pressed, knowing that my brother would be puzzled even more by this question. "Did he seem troubled, or did he not care at all?"

"Um," Seth murmured, with a faraway look in his eyes as he tried to remember. "He had a sympathetic look on his face and I think that was it. When he saw Nessie, he was happy again and I didn't really pay attention to him after that because I was talking to Bella."

I tried to imagine the sympathy that Seth had described but when I closed my eyes, I saw only pity. Jacob knew I hated people feeling sorry for me and that was why he never expressed that type of emotion towards me. He would argue with me day and night, masking his commiseration with anger and sarcasm.

The only thing that he cared about now was the bloodsucker baby which made me highly doubt the chances of him keeping my likes and dislikes close to his heart. I must have dropped enough clues for the entire population of Forks to figure out the truth yet Jacob was still clueless.

Seth was caught off-guard as I flew past him, through the open doorway. As I stepped out onto the sandy, gravelly ground, I heard him follow me and shout, "Leah! Where are you going?"

"To the Cullens' house," I responded in a rush.

"Again?" he groaned and that was the last thing I heard before I phased into my wolf form.