AN: Finally an update, wow. Someone remind me to never attempt multi-chapter fic ever again. I'm so slow. =_= My apologies for the sporadic updates. Also, much love to my Leon for the beta'ing and encouragement. Totally wouldn't have gotten this written without your support.
"Dear, your cocoa is getting cold."
The words barely registered to the young man's ears, his dark brown eyes focused intently on the drink in question held between his tightly clenched hands. The white mug's contents untouched, all signs of steam long since gone, and yet Lloyd continued his silent vigil over the cool liquid. He simply couldn't pull his focus away, nor did he have any intention to do so.
"Dear, you should really drink a little, staring at it's not going to help anything," that same elderly voice drifted over his senses, yet the only response Lloyd could force was a small, weary sigh. He didn't want to drink the damn cocoa. He didn't want to sit in the woman's quaint, warm little kitchen, didn't want to listen to that consoling tint in the woman's voice. No, he... For all I know he's already... The thought was too painful to even finish, so the boy attempted to force it away, gritting his teeth in agitation. It really wasn't in his nature to be so negative, was it? And yet as the clock ticking on the woman's kitchen wall continued to mark the passing time, his thoughts continued to grow bleaker and bleaker. How long is it going to take before I know? How long do I gotta sit here, not even knowing if he's alive?
It.. It really was pretty unfair. At least Lloyd thought so. Not that life's ever fair. But still. After saving the worlds and all, you'd think fate would at least cut him a little slack, right? Yeah, right. Nothing was ever that simple, of course. He wasn't that naïve. Still. It was pretty damned unfair.
"Child, moping about isn't going to help your friend one bit. You've been sittin' like a statue for a good two hours now, you know. You think it's what your friend would want?" And again, the brunet found his dark contemplations interrupted by that gentle voice, only this time, he faintly detected a pointed tenor bleeding into her words. So maybe she had a point. It still... Didn't make it any easier to pull his gaze away from that mug of cold cocoa, however.
Lloyd took in a shaky breath, the frown on his chapped lips deepening—if possible. "I know. I know that," he flatly murmured, unable to force any emotion into his hollow voice.
Of course it wasn't helping anything. Wasn't helping Zelos to be sitting helplessly, not even by the gravely wounded man's side. Wasn't helping to have utterly nothing to do, other than put faith in a greedy jerk of a doctor, to... The powerlessness of the situation was nearly unbearable. Lloyd was a man of action, after all. But now? Unable to do anything? I really... Can't stand this.
"Damn this!" The words escaped his lips with no real thought behind them, and he slammed the mug to the table, sloshing cold liquid from the mug as he did so. "Damn this," he softly repeated, staring down at the old table's scratched surface, taking in the mess he had made. Cocoa saturating into deep scratches in the faded wood, dripping from his cast aside mug.
Another deep, agitated breath escaped the teen, his brown gaze slowly pulling away from the table, finally moving to the elderly woman sitting directly across from him in the little kitchen space. "Sorry," he whispered, his voice small, dejected.
"Well. I suppose that's better than just starin' like a zombie," the elderly woman dryly commented after a moment of silently watching the boy, a rueful smile gracing her wrinkled face. "Don't go apologizing. It's alright," she went on to state, and she slowly stood from her chair, shuffling across the room, towards the kitchen counter. "We'll just get this cleaned right up, and maybe this time I can convince you to actually drink a little, hm?" the grey haired woman wryly remarked, rummaging about in a cabinet drawer for a moment before holding up a blue cloth. With this found, she moved back to the table, making quick work of sopping up the spilled liquid from the table's surface. "There, that's better."
Lloyd was unable to think of any real reply to the woman, so instead he merely gave a feeble nod of his head. Focusing on anything—anything other than that pale, lifeless face burned into his memories—seemed impossible. I... I need to be there, I need... What if he's scared? What if...
"Now. Drink a little this time, dear." Again the woman's voice cut into his bleak thoughts, and the brunet blinked, forcing himself to focus on the fresh cup of cocoa placed in front of him. "Alright," he murmured, numbly reaching for the hot cup of steaming liquid. He brought it to his lips, taking a sip. He really didn't taste it, however, only felt the twinge of pain on his tongue from the heat. On some level, it was a welcome sensation.
"So. Tell me about yourself. Your friend. It'll help pass the time, you know," the elderly woman suggested, her dark blue eyes carefully focused on the young swordsman, her expression thoughtful. "What were you two doing in the pass?" she went on to question, her voice holding a tint of curiosity.
"We were..." Lloyd started, however his voice cracked, and he paused, releasing a shaking breath. "We were looking into the rumor about bandits. Supposedly they've been robbing people just for their exspheres. We... I wanted to get them back. Zelos was just there because of me," he softly confessed, his grip on the warm mug tightening. He... This is all my fault. I... If he hadn't brought Zelos to Flanoir, hadn't forced the guy out into that cold, snow-ridden pass... I'm. I'm so selfish. This is all my fault.
"That's a pretty hefty goal you had. Taking on lowlifes like that. Why go to so much trouble?" the elderly woman inquired, her tenor incredulous.
Hefty? That was sort of laughable. After what he and Zelos had been through on the initial journey to merge the worlds? A small, humorless smile briefly formed on the young man's lips, his brown gaze slowly drawing to the elderly woman's questioning face. What was her name? He was pretty sure she'd told him. ...Miss... No. No Miss. The woman had declared she was no fan of formalities. He was to call her Amelia, that was it. "No offense, Amelia, but... This seemed pretty small, compared to other things we've done. I... I wasn't expecting any trouble," he dryly remarked, his expression bitter. "But, I guess I was wrong."
The elderly woman—Amelia—gave a small nod of her head, the frown on her thin lips deepening. "You look like a strong young man, so I shouldn't be surprised. Not so sure about your friend, but I can see where you'd be confident in yourself... It's good to still be cautious though, hm?" she slowly stated, her words hesitant.
"...I... I thought we were. I... Damn it," the brunet murmured, his focus drawing away from the woman's frown, moving back to the steaming mug gripped tightly in his hands. "Zelos is stronger than I am. He might not look it, but..." A faint smile again graced his lips at this statement, though this time it was affectionate. "Trust me, he's stronger than he looks. That's why... This... This shouldn't be happening," he added, his smile fading, his eyelids slipping closed. This shouldn't have happened. How. How the hell did this happen?
How had it all went so horribly wrong? It wasn't... Wasn't fair.
"I will admit, your friend? I thought he was a woman when I first laid eyes on that hair of his. It's downright beautiful," Amelia softly commented, a faint smile on her lips at this admission. "Looks can be deceiving I suppose."
Zelos, a woman? A bittersweet laugh escaped Lloyd, his eyelids closing tighter at the fresh tears threatening to escape his eyes. He could just hear Zelos' reaction to that. It was a terribly painful sensation. Zelos...
"Ah, I'm sorry child. I didn't mean to offend you. I... I was... Just an old woman running her mouth," the grey haired woman's voice dropped, an apologetic tint entering her words. "I meant nothing by it."
Lloyd gave a shake of his head at Amelia's apology, his bitter smile only growing. "No, I was just thinking of what he'd say to that," he quietly confessed, his eyelids closing tighter, his smile wavering. "It's true, though. He sort of looks like a girl," he weakly scoffed, a few tears slipping from his closed eyes, trailing down his cheeks. Except for his shoulders, he's... The most feminine looking guy I've ever seen. Not... Not that it was a bad thing. No, it was just another of those endearing qualities of his companion. He's such an idiot. One minute he can be whining like a little girl, the next... Staring at me with those eyes of his that look like he's got the weight of the whole world on him. He really.... Zelos' eyes filled with tears—frightened, dying eyes—flashed through his thoughts once more, effectively cutting off his contemplations. Damn it.
"More than the hair... It was the look on your face that had me confused," the elderly woman abruptly stated, and Lloyd forced open his watery eyes, a little confused himself over Amelia's confession.
"Yeah?" was the only response he could force, his expression perplexed. My look?
"You care about him a lot." This wasn't a question, her voice firm, knowing.
"Oh... Yeah. He's... my best friend," Lloyd responded after a short pause, his focus drifting away from the woman, moving again to the drink in his hands. He's my... best friend, my... Somehow, the words rang hollow. Best friend, did that really even begin to cover it? He... He wasn't sure. And at the moment? The young Sylvarant swordsman didn't have the energy or focus to give it much deep thought. He's Zelos. That was enough.
"Is that so." Amelia gave a small nod of her head, her deep-blue eyes never leaving the boy's damp face.
"Yeah." He couldn't think of any other reply, so he gave a small, downhearted shrug of his shoulders, then moved to wipe at the wetness on his cheeks.
The elderly woman seemed to have nothing more to say for the moment, and a stillness settled over the small, warm kitchen. The only sound breaking into the silence was a soft ticking noise sounding from the clock on the wall.
-Tick. Tick. Tick.-
Lloyd didn't need that ticking sound to count out the minutes stretching ever on, he could feel it pass with every breath taken, every beat of his heart throbbing in his head. Time was crawling, passing far too slowly. And until he could sit by Zelos' side, hold his hand and see those blue eyes open? He was pretty damn sure time would continue its maddeningly slow pace.
-Tick. Tick. Tick.-
Having that damn clock echo within the stillness of the room wasn't exactly helping the overwhelming emotions eating away at his thoughts, however. Damn it! Zelos... I.... Perhaps he should go back to the clinic, demand to be let in, to...
"You know. You remind me a little of someone, child," Amelia suddenly stated, pulling Lloyd's focus away from his tumultuous contemplations.
He gave a slow blink of his brown eyes, moving his focus to the woman's now intent gaze."I do?" He wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or bad thing, judging by her solemn expression.
"Mm-hmm, that you do. My grandson—well, not by blood, but he was as dear as blood. He had that tenacity of yours," the woman quietly remarked, a small, wistful smile appearing on her lips.
Lloyd had seen that expression far too many times on his journeys through Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. Suffering; loss; grief. It didn't take a genius to realize the woman's 'grandson' was dead. "What happened to him?" he inquired, his voice soft.
"Oh, don't you let me start my morbid talk, child. Just wandering thoughts, is all. He was a good boy, you see. I miss him from time to time." Amelia's voice perked up a bit at this, her expression rueful. "But it isn't anything to worry your head over right now," she added, giving the boy a soft, sympathetic smile.
Lloyd started to protest the woman's clear attempt to change the subject, but on second thought, perhaps it was too painful for her to speak about. And in his current state of mind? He hardly expected to be much comfort. No, at the moment, the only thing he could think about was the owner of that dried blood staining his clothes, that pained, fragile face... The brunet gave a nod of his head, returning the woman's small smile with a strained, understanding smile of his own. "Okay."
"There you go, now that's a cute face you have, dear," Amelia practically crooned, her smile widening as she let out a satisfied laugh. "Much better than the look you have when moping about."
"Yeah? I don't know about that, but if you say so," the Sylvarant teen dryly retorted, his brown gaze dropping from the woman, moving to his cooling cup of cocoa in his hands—his bloodstained hands. Red, dry splotches of Zelos' blood. Damn it. What am I doing. I....
"Mn, knew it wouldn't last long. Back to that mopey look. But it's to be expected, no doubt," the elderly woman stated with a sigh, her voice rueful. "It's alright. You can get the cute little smile of yours back for good once your friend recovers," she added, that gentle, reassuring tenor quickly returning to her kindly words.
"Y-yeah...." was all Lloyd could manage, his voice breaking at that solitary word. It was too hard. Too hard to focus on anything, anything other than the time ticking by so damned slowly, the feel of dried blood on his hands, the... The....
A loud knock resounded through the small, cozy house, causing the young man to nearly jump from his seat. He released a shaky breath, his gaze drawing to the elderly woman across from him. The sound was coming from her front door. W-what if.... Could it be news about Zelos? That painful knot in his stomach grew even more so at this possibility.
Amelia's line of contemplation seemed rather similar, a faint frown on her lips as she stood from her sitting position. "Come on child. Maybe the doc's sent someone with news," she quietly stated, shuffling over to the young man, then placing a thin hand on his shoulder. "It'll be good news. I'm sure of it."
Lloyd gave a short nod of his head, and he stood, his hands clenching into tight fists by his sides. Had it been long enough for there to be good news? With wounds of such magnitude, could the doctor really have good news? Despite how long time had seemed to drag on, in reality, looking at that infernally loud clock on Amelia's wall... It had only been two hours. What if... What if he....
"Don't go fretting yet, child." The elderly woman moved to take hold of his clutched left hand, and she gave a gentle tug. "Come along."
Again, the brunet found himself unable to give any real response, so after another nod of his head, he allowed the woman to lead him away from the warm kitchen, into the main entryway the next room over. That loud knocking was persistent, and with each knock, Lloyd's heart-rate increased. What if....
Amelia swung open the large, wooden door, revealing a young boy in bundled clothing, his face rosy from the cold air. "Hiya, Grammy Amelia! The doc wanted me to tell you to bring your friend back," he chirped, his cheerful expression clearly showing he had no personal knowledge over the doctor's message. "You aren't sick again are you?" the young boy then inquired, shifting from foot to foot in a hyperactive manner. "Who's your friend, Grammy, huh, huh?"
Amelia let out a soft laugh at the boy's quick words, and she moved to give a playful pat on the boy's head. "The doc's making you play his messenger again, I see. It's nothing to worry your little head over, child. You go back to playing now, you hear?" she warmly stated, casting a reassuring smile to the boy.
"You suuure? You don't need nothin', Grammy?" The young boy hopped about, bouncing in place in time with his words.
"I'm just fine, Issac. Now run along."
Lloyd watched with a blank expression as the child did just that, running off into the fluffy Flanoir snow, his arms spread wide. If he were more alert, he would probably smile a little at the boy's hyper, playful demeanor, but... At the moment? All the Sylvarant teen could think on was the meaning behind the doctor's message.
Zelos was alive. He had to be. He was Zelos. Zelos... Zelos was invincible, right? He was....
"Come along. Standing here won't put it off forever."
The elderly woman's words pulled him from his blank stupor, and Lloyd took in a deep breath, blinking his brown eyes to better focus himself. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go."
So with this said, the two ventured into the snow, their destination the clinic just a bit away. With each step closer to that small building, Lloyd's chest tightened, his hands clenching against his sides. Those white snowbanks he trudged through... They only brought back memories of red-stained snow, stained with Zelos' blood. Damn... Damn it....
They reached their destination quickly—though for Lloyd, is seemed an eternity, of course. The doctor stood waiting for them in the doorway, his expression... Grim. Lloyd's heart practically stopped on noting that sober look on the man's usually confident face. Oh goddess....
"Come in. We need to discuss your friend's condition."
...Well, there you have it. Annnd, I shall just leave you to ponder Zelos' condition for now. Until next time~.