(scene: the lounge)
Kagome is standing under an air vent next to a broom. Akago's legs can be seen sticking out of said vent. Kagome then grabs the broom and impatiently taps on the wall next to the vent.
Kagome: Akago, you find anything?
Akago: Nah. Just a big ball of lint.
Kagome sighs.
Akago: AND A SPIDER THE SIZE OF A CAT DEMON!
Kagome: O O
Various banging/smacking noises suddenly emit from the vent, and Kagome makes random pained faces to go along with them. Then they stop.
Akago: It's okay! I got it.
Kagome: Well, keep looking! (to herself) I want that money...
(Kagome's daydream)
(scene: the lobby)
Kagome is standing in the lobby, appearing to be someone extremely important. A few guys are standing behind her, one of them seeming to look like Inuyasha... Anyway, Akago walks up to her and her 'entourage.'
Akago: Good news, Lady Kagome. Your campaigns have successfully saved the rainforests, endangered animals and demons, the ozone layer, and most importantly, the people with bad haircuts.
Kagome: (sigh) It was a good week. And to think, I never could've done it without Hot Peppers' money. And you, Akago!
She smiles at him. Akago smiles back, expecting a kiss. Kagome then grabs Inuyasha, about to kiss him (go for it, girl!).
Akago: HEY!
Kagome: Sorry, bud. This is my fantasy.
She turns back and kisses Inuyasha (YAY!).
(end daydream)
Kagome is using the broom from before as Inuyasha (a/n: have you noticed how many of these daydreams end with a kiss?... freaky.)
Akago: Alright, I'm comin' down!
He drops down, expecting Kagome to catch him. Obviously, she doesn't, and Akago falls flat on his back to the floor.
Akago: AAAH!
THUD!
Kagome turns around, surprised. Akago lifts his head and glares at her.
Akago: ...Oh sure. Why bother to catch me when you can make out with a broom?
Kagome looks at the broom in her hands, then throws it back against the wall.
(scene: garbage room)
Haku is looking under a dumpster with a flashlight.
Haku: A-ha!
Hakkaku sticks his head out of the dumpster.
Hakkaku: A-ha what?
Haku: AH!
Hakkaku: AHH!
Haku: ...What are you doing in there?
Hakkaku: Lost my pen.
He then attempts to come out of the dumpster.
Haku: D'you need any help?
Hakkaku: Help? Nah, I've done this a thousand times!
He begins to fall out of the dumpster.
Hakkaku: Okay, HELP!
THUD!
Haku: ...I can tell.
Hakkaku stands up.
Hakkaku: So you're looking for Hot Peppers' money, huh?
Haku: How'd you know?
Hakkaku: I heard your brother in the vent. Oh, and by the way, he killed my pet spider.
Haku: ...I'm sorry...?
Hakkaku: Sorry doesn't buy spider love! (sniff)
Haku: Yyyeah, okay! Is there any chance you can help me move this thing?
Hakkaku: (stops crying) Yeah, sure... What's in this for me?
Haku: The pride of helping a small freaky-looking boy with a dream?
Hakkaku: ...Alright. Step back... And hold this.
He hands Haku a banana he was eating (sorry, no slipping here). Hakkaku stretches, making some disturbing cracking noises as he does. After a moment, he easily pushes the dumpster away.
Haku: Whoa...
Hakkaku flexes a muscle proudly.
Hakkaku: Bran.
He takes back his banana, pulls a really long screwdriver out of his back pocket, walks over to a hole in the floor that was covered by the dumpster --Haku following closely behind-- and pokes the scredriver into it. He pumps it up and down a few times like a plunger, until a rustling noise can be heard above them. Haku looks up curiously.
Haku: Is that the bran, too?
Hakkaku: I really hope not.
About a second later, a pile of food spills down onto them. Apparently, they're standing right underneath a garbage disposal.
Hakkaku: So that's why they put the dumpster there.
(scene: kitchen)
Ginta is struggling to push a refrigerator away from the wall. Kikyo is just sitting on a table watching him, eatin' some grapes.
Kikyo: Y'know, this whole treasure hunt thing really isn't so bad. It's actually kinda fun!
Ginta glares up at her.
Ginta: Oodles.
Kikyo: (happily) I know, right? Keep looking.
She stares off into space.
Kikyo: I wonder what my life would be like if I found the money...
She begins to daydream, then abruptly stops.
Kikyo: Oh, wait. It'd be the same! Yay!
She claps excitedly. Ginta walks over with a hand on his back.
Ginta: Mind if I make a little suggestion? Stop clapping, and start helping.
Kikyo: (tapping her head) Yeah, I'm really more of an idea person.
Ginta: Ohh. Well then here's an idea... Get busy!
Kikyo: Uh, hello? I'm busy owning the hotel!
Ginta: Not after I find that money...
(Ginta's daydream)
(scene: lobby)
Ginta is standing behind the front desk, helping a man check in.
Ginta: Enjoy your stay at Hotel Ginta.
The man walks away. Ginta rings the bell on the desk, to which Kikyo walks up to him in a bellhop uniform.
Ginta: Kikyo, please help Mr. Kubo check into suite 1225.
Kikyo: Yes sir!
She grabs up two huge suitcases and trudges toward the elevators.
Ginta: Oh, and, take the stairs.
Kikyo turns around and smiles.
Kikyo: It would be my pleasure, sir!
She trudges toward the staircase. Ginta gazes off somewhere and smiles.
Ginta: (sigh) It's good to be the boss.
(end daydream. sorry, no matter how OOC these guys might get, I can't picture Ginta and Kagura salsa dancing...)
Ginta is staring off into space smiling. Kikyo walks up to him and waves a hand in front of his face.
Kikyo: Uh, Ginta? You in there?...
Ginta: Huh- what? Oh, sorry. Just thinkin'.
He smiles, slightly embarrassed.
Koga's voice: Ginta? You in there?
Ginta: O O Just leavin'! I'm not supposed to be in here!
He looks around frantically for a hiding place.
Ginta: The dumbwaiter!
Kikyo: Okay, I'm sorry, but I don't like to make fun of the help.
Ginta sweatdrops, grabs Kikyo by the wrist, afraid he might rat her out, and pulls her into the dumbwaiter with him.
Kikyo: Are you sure this thing will hold us?
Ginta: Absolutely. We're perfectly safe in here.
SNAP!
The dumbwaiter breaks and goes shooting down. Ginta and Kikyo's screams of terror fade out as they fall. Koga walks into the kitchen, looks around suspiciously, and, seeing nothing, leaves.
(scene: garbage room)
Hakkaku: Found it!
He picks something up excitedly.
Haku: The loot?
Hakkaku: No, my pen!
Haku: ...
Hakkaku scribbles on his hand.
Hakkaku: Hey, it still writes! (sniffs his hand) No that's Italian dressing.
Ginta and Kikyo can be heard screaming. Haku and Hakkaku (try sayin' that three times fast) dart out of the way as Ginta and Kikyo come shooting out of the dumbwaiter into the pile of trash. Hakkaku begins writing on his hand again.
Hakkaku: (saying out loud what he's writing) Fix... dum-buh-waiter.
Kikyo stands up, disgusted.
Kikyo: Ew ew ew ew ew! (glares at Ginta) This is all your fault!
Ginta: Ah, you're right. Couldn't have been your fault, because... you didn't do anything. Nada!
Kagome and Akago storm into the room.
Kagome: Akago, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
Akago: Hey, I've heard stupider.
Kagome: I don't care, we're never gonna find the money if you keep choosing where to look!
Akago glares up at her.
Akago: Y'know, I don't know what I ever saw in you.
Ooooohhh...
Kagome glares back.
Kagome: Don't make me come down there.
Hakkaku: (walks up to Akago) You! You owe me a spider, buddy! One who can fetch!
Akago takes a step away from him.
Haku: So you guys finally realized that I was right all along. Well you're not getting any of the treasure!
Kagome: You found it?!
Haku: Well... no... but when I do, you're not getting any of it, none of ya!
Everyone but Hakkaku starts yelling at each other for a good, um... ten seconds, tops, until Hakkaku cuts in.
Hakkaku: DOGS HAVE CLEANER TONGUES THAN PEOPLE!
Everyone takes another step away from him. Kagome looks at Inuyasha somewhere offset.
Kagome: I find thatextremely dificult to believe.
Haraiya bursts into the room.
Haraiya: Wait a sec! I just remembered something important about Hot Peppers!
everyone else: WHAT?!
Haraiya: ...(groan) It's gone.
Kagome puts her head in her hands.
Kagome: This day just keeps getting worse.
Hakkaku: Actually, I had a great day: Found my pen, didn't slip on my lunch (remember the banana?), fixed my glue. (pulls out his bottle of glue) Spike-Stuck. New name, new formula. More sticking, less exploding. Wanna try it out?
He hands it to Kikyo.
Kikyo: Ew, get that away from me, it stinks!
She throws it at the wall behind her. Everyone looks in shocl to see that the bottle has harmlessly stuck to the wall.
Haku: It sticks!
Akago: And it's not exploding!
Hakkaku: Oh yeah!
The bottle starts smoking. Hakkaku's eyes widen.
Hakkaku: Oh no.
(scene: lobby)
Kagura and Koga walk past each other, then turn around.
Kagura: Have you seen my kids?
Koga: No. Have you seen my employees?
Kagura: No.
Koga: I don't have a good feeling about this.
Kagura: Me neither. Just stay calm, I'm sure my kids are fine and your hotel's in one piece (hey, speaking of treasure).
BOOM!
The entire hotel shakes for a moment.
Kagura: ...Or pieces.
They run like the wind toward the garbage room.
(garbage room)
Hakkaku pulls himself out of the dumpster, the bottle stuck to the side of his head. It's done exploding for now.
Hakkaku: (cough) I really need to fix that.
Haku stands up, covered in dust.
Haku: Ya think?
Haraiya looks at a huge hole in the wall from Hakkaku's glue.
Haraiya: I ain't cleanin' that up.
Koga and Kagura run into the room. Kagura heads straight for the twins, while Koga stares at the hole.
Kagura: Omigod, are you guys okay?
Akago: Yeah, we're fine.
Koga: (just making random noises of shock) . . . H-Hayyy!. . . Pan-di-doy!. . . Piki-piki-pa!. . .
Kikyo walks up to him.
Kikyo: Ookami. Ookami, breathe.
Koga: Ah.
Kikyo: Breathe.
Koga: Ee.
Kikyo: Breathe.
Koga: Mama.
He bites his finger nervously, but manages to calm down a bit.
Kagura: What were you guys doing?
Akago: We were just looking for treasure.
Koga: There's a hole in my wall!
Haraiya walks up to the hole and looks in.
Ginta: Mr. Ookami, we're so sorry.
Haraiya: I'm not. Look.
Koga: I've seen enough, thanks!
Kagura: Me, too. You guys endangered your lives, you damaged the hotel...
Haraiya bulls a gold brick out of the hole.
Koga: And all in the greedy pursuit of--
Kagome: MONEY!
Ginta: THE TREASURE!
Everyone runs over to the hole and grabs as much money as possible... until a security guard sticks a flashlight in their faces and they back up, still holding the money.
guard: Hi there. Welcome to the Bank of Tokyo (a/n: real place?). Y'know, if you'd like to make a withdrawal, we prefer you use a teller.
Koga: W...Well, I would've, but, y'know, the lines...
Everyone --minus the Hitomis-- drops their money.
Kagura: (to the twins) Ahem!
Akago and Haku drop the money in their hands. They both then look at Kagura.
twins: Ahem!
Kagura drops her money. A second later, she pulls a bit more out of her pockets. Everyone sweatdrops.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(scene: lobby)
The "crew" walks into the lobby.
Koga: Well I hope this has taught everyone a valuable lesson.
Ginta: (rubbing his head) Yeah. I learned not to stand between you and a gold brick.
Haraiya: (sigh) I shoulda known there was no treasure. Otherwise Peppers would've gotten me something nicer than this cheap heart-shaped locket.
Everyone's heads shoot up. Their eyes are all wide in surprise.
Kagome: The treasure lies beneath the heart.
Akago: That must've been the heart Peppers was talking about.
Haku: You hold her down, I'll grab it!
Everyone runs toward Haraiya.
Haraiya: HOLD IT!
Everyone abruptly stops. Ginta, Hakkaku, and Koga (the Three Stooges that they are) smack into each other. Haraiya takes off the necklace.
Haraiya: Take it. I could never open the damn thing anyway.
Kagura takes the locket and attempts to pry it open. When she realizes she can't, she puts it down on a table, grabs a mallet from Hakkaku's tool belt, and SMASHes the locket. Hakkaku jumps. Kagura hands back the mallet, then opens the locket and reads what is engraved inside it.
Kagura: "To Haraiya, you are my greatest treasure."
Awwwwwww.
Everyone looks at Haraiya sweetly.
Kagome: Haraiya, you were the treasure all along.
Haraiya: Yeah, yeah. That's what all the cheap guys say when they don't wanna spring for the good jewelry.
She walks away, leaving the others suddenly upset.
Ginta: Now I'll never own the hotel.
Haku: I'll never win a Nobel Prize.
Kagome: I'll never become an empress.
Akago: I'll never marry Kagome.
Kagome gives him a weird look.
Kikyo: ...On the bright side, I'm still rich! Yay me!
She claps.
Hakkaku: And my glue will never work.
He yanks it off his head. Everyone gasps and stares at the spot where the glue just was.
Akago: Hakkaku...
Hakkaku: What?
Kikyo pulls out a compact and hands it to Hakkaku. He looks at his reflection in the small mirror, and his eyes widen in amazement.
Hakkaku: (gasp) It grows hair! IT GROWS HAIR! I'M RICH! I'M FREAKIN' RICH!
He runs toward an elevator, but stops, throws his tool belt off, and hands it to Koga.
Hakkaku: I QUIT! (continues running) WOO-HOO! I'M RICH! I'M RICH!
He runs into an elevator excitedly. As the doors close...
BOOM!
That's gotta hurt... (actually thinking about it) Ew.
Everyone else stares at Hakkaku's elevator in surprise/shock/disgust.
Hakkaku's voice: Never mind.
THE END