Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews!

Previously...

"You can't possibly know my reasoning," began Hermione, when he interrupted.

"The law," he said evenly.

She looked down at the table.

...

"The law didn't pass, Hermione. And that's a good thing," Severus said evenly.

Hermione looked up at him and nodded, but was silent.

"You're a young woman. You'll find a," Severus began.

"A husband, yes. Thank you, Severus."

"Don't get upset at me. I didn't,"

"Rehearse this speech?" Hermione quipped.

Damn fiddly potion. "What do you want me to say, Hermione?"

"I'm not looking for answers, and I'm not a fifth year looking for career guidance from the Headmaster."

"What are you looking for?" Severus asked, looking down at his hands folded on the table.

"I'm looking for you," Hermione said simply.

"Dammit, Hermione."

"There he is," she said snarkily. "Why did you dance with me?"

"It is customary," he began.

"Bullshit. You made a production out of it and ensured I am on the front page tomorrow for the first of a week's full of made-up scandal with the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Why? So you could let me down easy? I don't think so. So let's stop the speeches."

"You don't think I've thought about it?" Severus said heatedly. "You don't think I thought about you non-stop three years ago? But who does this, Hermione? Who decides to pursue a relationship because of a law that didn't pass three years ago? Who does that?"

"How was dating Miss Lewell?" asked Hermione evenly.

Severus scowled at her. "I am not here to talk about my dating life. The Daily Prophet does plenty of that."

"She's beautiful. She's not stupid. I read her articles in Ars Alchemia all the time." Hermione paused. "What did she ask you?"

Severus felt his annoyance go up.

"How about I tell you about my dating life," Hermione offered.

"Hermione – I don't…" Merlin, Severus did not want to hear this. This was his life. Beautiful woman across the table and somehow, it always ends badly.

"So first there was Daniel. Muggle. So smart, so cute. I met him in a university class studying radiation technologies."

Severus furrowed his brows. "How did you get into a muggle university radiation class?" Severus was impressed, crazy conversation be damned.

"Faked my way in, obviously. It was fascinating. I wanted to know what the muggles are doing for diagnostics to see if there was a charm that I could create to duplicate some of the newer technology."

Severus was unable to help his fascination. "Was there? Were you able to make a new charm?" he asked seriously.

"Oh yes!" Hermione nodded, eyes wide.

"Show me."

Hermione took her wand from her sleeve and aimed it at Severus' heart. He watched as she focused her concentration. She made a bell-shaped movement and Severus felt Hermione's magic weave into him powerfully. It almost took his breath away. And then suddenly it was gone and there was a golden glow emanating from his heart.

"What did that do?" he asked.

"It told me that your heart is in good shape."

"There are charms to detect a heart attack."

"By then it's usually just to confirm what damage has been done. I just did a new version of a diagnostic heart catheterization where my magic literally flowed at a controlled pace through your heart and it was timed. If something had been slowing my magic down, maybe a blockage, it would have glowed blue. This is preventative."

Severus was in awe of her power. He was in awe of her.

"I should have warned you, it's a pretty intense feeling. It's intense casting it, too, which is why it's not exactly mainstream."

Severus just nodded, then tried to collect himself. Reason. He needed her to see reason. But he didn't want to anymore. He wanted to hear her call him "Severus" again. So few people called him "Severus" anymore.

He took a deep breath and plowed on. "You're an amazing witch, Hermione. You need," he started.

"We're not doing this again," Hermione chastised. "You went back into Headmaster mode, so now you have to hear my dating stories."

Severus raised his an eyebrow as she continued.

"So Daniel and I dated, but he didn't know I was a witch. It was going well for a while. But he was so damn fragile. So threatened that I was smarter than him. What was going to happen when he found out I could beat him in a university exam and I can create blue bell flames as a party trick, much less apparate?"

Severus ground his jaw painfully. He despised weak men.

"So, muggles are out. Did you ever date a muggle?"

"Yes," Severus replied sarcastically, "I live in a sentient castle and am the headmaster of a school of witchcraft and wizardry, but I'm sure a muggle woman would have overlooked those two small things."

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued. "So next were wizards, and that was better. They could pretty much accept me as I was: a witch, bookish, overbearing…"

"You really know how to sell yourself," Severus deadpanned.

"It's not like I can hide those things," Hermione said with a straightforward tone. "Which brings us again to my question: what did Miss Lewell ask you?"

Severus' lips tightened and his annoyance with Hermione rose. Why was she doing this? Why was she so determined to rub salt in this wound?

Severus inhaled deeply and exhaled. "She asked me," and then Hermione said along with him: "what the cruciatus felt like."

Severus' brow furrowed. He had never told that to anyone. No one could ever understand what that question did to him. It turned his entire life's work fighting a war into a two minute curse. It cemented in his mind that no one would ever understand him. How could they think the cruciatus was anything compared to the pain of war, of loss and betrayal and mistrust, fear and wishing for death if it meant escape? A single curse was the worst thing that Lewell woman could think of. Merlin, to have such naivety.

But Hermione was not naïve.

Severus looked at her. "Did that happen to you?"

Hermione nodded and swallowed. "Not always that question, but some variation that made me die inside each time it was asked. And we're not the only ones. Harry hides it well, but his only true friends are those few of us who actually 'get it'. Those of us who know better than to ask if it was cool to talk to his mom and dad again as he walked in to a forest to die."

Severus got up and looked out the darkened window. "It still doesn't have to be me, Hermione. You need a strong wizard, yes. You need a man who understands you and the war and that 'you and the war' are not two distinct terms."

"Yes." Hermione breathed behind him.

"But you're still using that miserable law. You fantasized about me – hell, I fantasized about you, too. It couldn't be helped after that damn meeting where Minerva said it was our only option. But fantasies are not real, Hermione." He paused. "Dammit, Hermione, fantasies are not fair – to either of us."

He turned back to look at her, still sitting at the table. Merlin, why did he do it? Why did he ask her to dance, bring her here to the library?

Hermione smiled at him. And as he looked at her, he remembered why he asked her to dance. Not because of a law, but because a beautiful, intelligent, strong witch wanted to be with him. He shook his head in surrender and sat down heavily next to her.

Hermione began, "I'm not here because of some fantasies, though I had a million. One of my favorites was how we were forced into marriage, but then ended up curing Lycanthropy."

Severus bowed his head and smirked. "I had that one, too."

"I still think that might be possible," Hermione teased, bumping his shoulder with her own. She then tucked one leg under the other as she turned toward him in her chair.

Severus, too, turned himself in his chair to face her and leaned in with his elbows on his knees and spoke softly. "In the best fantasies, the absolute best version of me fell in love with the absolute best version of you."

Hermione nodded. "And then you remembered that I can be a bossy cow and you can be a mean bastard."

"Yes. And in the worst fantasies, I hurt you."

She put her hands in his. "And I hurt you, too." He felt the heat of her hands seep into his.

Severus nodded. "And then the law went away overnight. And so did the fantasies." He paused. "Eventually."

"Yes, they went away eventually, and then," she paused and looked at him, "I wanted them back. But they changed. It was no longer the best or worst of us in an impossible situation. It looked like two people who might have been happier a couple years later had that law passed. I looked at Severus, the sometimes mean bastard, brilliant man, possibly loving person, and decided I wanted to know if he was real."

Was he real? Could he be what Hermione wanted? Could she be what he wanted? He didn't know. But he knew that he had lain awake many nights after the law was defeated wondering if he had lost out on something good.

He leaned in slowly and kissed her. He felt her hands tighten as she kissed him back. It was soft and she was so soft and he could feel her trembling. As he leaned back and looked at her, her smile was shy. He smiled softly back at her. She nervously ran a hand through her hair and accidentally pulled some curls out of her fancy style. She had obviously forgotten that it was not down like normal.

She looked at him sheepishly and sighed, "I'm such a…" But she was interrupted as a brilliant white stag patronus bound into the library straight toward them.

It spoke with Harry's voice as they both looked at it. "Hey Hermione, and, uh Professor Snape."

Hermione shushed Severus when he mumbled, "Damn that map."

Harry's patronus continued, "I'm going home. And tomorrow morning, I'm going to get up very early on a Sunday morning to burn the Daily Prophet before my hormonal pregnant wife sees it and goes bat shit crazy asking me questions that I don't know the answers to. I will see you at brunch tomorrow morning at 10, Hermione. Love, Harry." The patronus dissolved, leaving the library much darker.

Hermione rolled her eyes as she got her wand back out. "Harry is such an idiot. He signs patronus messages like they're letters. As if I don't know it's him."

Hermione's otter patronus swam around brightly as she spoke to it. "Good call on the Daily Prophet. I'll see you and Ginny at 10. Love you both." The patronus dipped and rolled as it swam from the Library.

Severus stood before Hermione and pulled a pin from Hermione's hair. When she felt him pull another pin, she put a hand on his wrist to still it and said, "I thought you were fixing my hair."

"No," he said silkily. "In all of my fantasies, your hair was down." She smiled and let go of his wrist and he slowly took all of the pins from her hair. He then took her hands and pulled her up from the chair. "Much better," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist to draw her closer. She put her arms around his neck and as they kissed again, she did not tremble. He ran a hand through her hair and felt it tangle and envelop his hand. Merlin, it was so much better than his fantasies.

He eventually, reluctantly, broke their kiss. "Let's go for a walk. The corridors should be deserted by now."

They walked slowly together through the castle and Severus led her through the oak front doors and into the grounds.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading! One short epilogue left...