"Well, according to the few reviews we got, I get to be a psychotic, mentally unstable nutcase again! Yay!"

"I think the authoress was strongly biased," grumbled Solembum at the jubliant Tameera. He was looking uncomfortable in his tunic and trousers. Angela had knit them. They had feathers, iguanas, and skeletons sewn onto them. In colours like purple, neon orange, and puke-green. Yet again, no comment.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Tameera.

"Obviously, she likes you better as a raging force of unatural nature. It simply wouldn't be as fun with a boring, reasonable OC."

"Will you two please stop breaking the damned fourth wall? We did this more than enough last chapter, and frankly, it's getting old," said Angela from where she was examining a sign.

Murtagh was looking increasingly twitchy.

"What's your problem?"

"I hate crowds."

"Relax. No one will recognise you. I think…,"said Angela.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Um, you might want to have a look at this sign…" The group conveged around the sign Angela had been looking at. On it was a surprisingly accurate picture of Murtagh, with a nice-sized bounty posted below.

"Oh. Crap muffins."

"This could be bad."

"Son of a b-*censored*"

"I say we turn him in." They all stared at Solembum.

"What! It's a large amount of money, and I'm fed up with all his whining!"

"Why you furry little piece of *censored*!"

"Technically, I'm not furry right now. Go die in a hole."

"*censored* you!"

"Stop it! Stop it now, or I'll feed you both to a turtle which I've genetically modified to devour everything that comes within three feet of it!"

"…That's awfully specific."

"And you're awfully thick. No, we are not giving up Murtagh, for two, make that three, I've just thought of another, reasons. First, he's too mopey and I enjoy making him mopier. Is mopier a word? It ought to be… Anyway, second, he might be useful. As bait. Third, why do you need the money from the bounty anyway? You're a cat! You eat mice, you sleep, and you act like you're better than everyone else. What else do you need?"

"One of those scratching posts with the dangly balls and little huts on pillars."

"What?" When even the resident crazy person thinks you're crazy… give me a moment to think up something clever.

"I could knit you one!"

"Uh, thanks, Angela, but no. I suddenly changed my mind."

"Sorry to interrupt this fascinating conversation, but aren't we supposed to be Sue-hunting?" They all turned (in perfect synchronicity!) to see Elva boredly gazing at them.

"Oh god, not you," said Murtagh, looking paler than normal. Pansy-ass. Then again, it is Elva…

Elva grinned in a very not-nice way at him, revealing a mouth full of surprisingly pointy teeth. I wonder how she does that? Maybe she files them or something. Or maybe she just has a seriously kick-ass dentist. I wanted to be a dentist. My mom said I should be a narrator though. I haven't a clue why. I mean, you'd think it'd be the other way arou-

[NUCLEAR EXPLOSION WHEREVER THE NARRATOR IS]

[Back to the shabla story]

"Yay! Elva!... Why are you here?"

"Because I hate Sues, and I want to make something bleed. A lot."

"Slightly creepy, but good enough for me!"

"So, how exactly are you going to go about finding the Sue?"

"We were going to walk around aimlessly for a little bit, then maybe go to a pub and start a bar fight with some drunk soldiers."

"That is the absolute worst plan I have ever had the misfortune to hear of."

"I think Solembum, Tameera, and Elva are underage," said Angela.

"Well, scratch that idea. I hate liquor anyway. It all smells like rotting fruit and organic matter. Not nice. Plus, I'm drunk on life already. Coffe's nice though. For some starnge reason however, my friends won't let me near it. I wonder why... Oh well, not important! Hey, Elva, what's your favourite flavour of muffin?"

"…Seriously? No, no seriously? How the fuck are you guys even still alive? I'm shocked no one's tried to mug and/or murder you all yet!"

"But they have," said Tameera serenely. "Look down that suspiciously shady alley we just went down."

Elva looked.

There were at least two dozen people clutching cauterized arm, wrist, or leg stumps.

"…How in the hell…"

"Lightsabers kick ass."

A/N: Doo-dee-doo, please review… hey, that rhymed! On a side note, I NEED THE FOURTH BOOK! And I really do have a muffin poll. It's on my profile, and it has been for the last three or four months... maybe I should make a new one... naw.