just fyi guys Natasha's past is not entirely the same as in the comics. i'm altering it a bit for the sake of the story. meaning it's more related to MCU and also other little things.
As usual, Natasha had nightmares about the Red Room. The same thing each night: torture classes, training, the pain she had felt, and the most repetitive concept of how much red she had in her ledger. She woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and panting. Even the Black Widow could never get used to nightmares. She got out of bed and went downstairs to make herself a cup of coffee and sit on the couch. As she came down, she noticed the light was on. Steve, she thought excitedly. She came down softly so that she could surprise him. As she stood in the doorway, she thought he was oblivious until he suddenly said "Don't be shy Nat. I won't bite you you can come out of your hiding place." Damn.
"Why are you up Steve?"
"He sighed before answering "I was having nightmares about the ice and everything that happened during the fight against Ultron."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Why are you up? It's like 3:00 in the morning."
"I was having nightmares too", she responded meekly.
"What about, if you don't mind me asking."
"About the Red Room. The place where I was trained."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
As she sat there next to Steve and thought about each of their hardships, Natasha eyes began to water. Steve noticed and stood up to give her a hug. "Hey don't worry about it. Everything's fine. We're all here. We can be your new family."
This made Natasha stop crying until all that was left was a few sniffles. "We should get some sleep. Do you want to join me?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, Steve blushed vigorously. "I don't mean it like that I swear."
"I know what you mean and if you don't mind I'd like to."
"Come on." Steve took Natasha's hand and led her upstairs. He opened the door to his room and Natasha followed him in. "If you don't mind I might stay up for a bit, just until I can fall asleep."
"Ok." They climbed into bed and pulled up the covers. Steve took his drawing notebook out of his drawer and quickly sharpened his pencil. He opened the notebook and Natasha gasped. "These drawings are incredible!"
"You think so? "
Steve opened to the page with the monkey on a unicycle and showed it to Natasha. "This drawing pretty much helped me get through the war."
Natasha was astounded at the detail. Steve then flipped to a new page and looked over at Natasha. "I'll draw something for you. What do you want?" Natasha thought for a second. She decided to go with a ballerina; a sweet reminder of her life in Russia. Although the training was hard, the one thing Natasha loved more than anything was dancing ballet.
"A ballerina. Do you know what one looks like?
Steve smiled. "Yeah I think so." He began the outline of the body, starting from the leg on pointe and up the to perfect bun. They were silent as Natasha watched his hand move across the page. Steve broke the silence. "Why a ballerina Nat? I find it kind of surprising that you chose that over anything else."
Natasha realized she'd never told Steve anything about her past apart from the fact that she worked for the KGB at some point.
"Let me tell you a bit about myself. From the very beginning. First off, my full name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova. When I was a baby, I was stuck in a burning building, but I was saved by the Red Room. I grew up there, where they trained me to be a spy and assassin. There, I learned how to torture and withstand pain as well as how to kill. But they also taught us ballet. I loved it because it let me be free of the controlling Red Room. After I escaped, I gave up dancing, and I still wish I hadn't. So that's a brief summary of my past and that's why I chose a ballerina." Steve was shocked. He imagined a young Natasha being tortured just for the sake of being tortured. It hurt him to see his best friend, who had been turned into a killing machine because she had no choice. Steve closed the notebook and set it aside on the bedside table. He switched off the light and felt Natasha snuggle close to him. he put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. He had questions, but he respected her privacy and didn't ask. Instead he let be comfortable in his arms and slowly felt her breathing ease, signifying she was asleep. He smiled a sad smile before drifting off to sleep too.