Author's Notes: As I've said before, I originally thought this story would only be three chapters. However, it's taken a life of it's own. Jules is without a doubt my favorite character and I love trying to get into her mind. I'm enjoying taking those events of her younger days and exploring how they could have shaped her into the person we know from the show. Right now I'm thinking there will be two more chapters, but who knows, it could be more. I hope you enjoy the chapter. I'd love to hear your opinions.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and the networks who air the episodes. Since the show has ended, our only way of getting new Flashpoint is through fan fiction. This story is my attempt to help fill the void, and the only profit I make is the warm fuzzy feeling reviews give me. Anything that does not come directly from the show is my own creation and should not be used without my permission.

Spiraling

Chapter 4

Jules was accustomed to waking up early. Years of living on a farm and being expected to do her fair share of chores had left their mark on her even now that she was on her on at college. She knew her brothers were pretty much the same way, and they had been away from home longer than she had. So without needing to see the sun starting to stream in the windows, her body instinctively knew it was time to get up. She stretched slightly and was both surprised and alarmed when strong arms tightened around her waist, holding her in place.

"There're no cows that need milking here. No reason to wake up with the chickens."

The familiar, husky voice should have calmed her fears but didn't. Instead, her eyes flew open and her heart skipped a beat. Why was Jake sleeping in her bed? As her eyes swept the room, she realized she had the question all wrong. Why was she sleeping in Jake's bed, with Jake? She tried to take stock of the situation, needing to understand what had happened before verbally acknowledging that she was indeed awake. She'd found herself in odd circumstances in the past but never anything like this.

She was still dressed - well, mostly at least. She had on her t-shirt and her underwear but her jeans, socks, and shoes were gone. What happened to them, and why didn't she remember removing them? How had a quiet evening of dinner and a movie in Jake's dorm room led to her sleeping over? They had decided to order in a pizza instead of pick up Chinese while they watched a movie, and as far as she knew they hadn't even so much as had a beer to go with that pizza to account for the fact that her memory of the evening before was so spotty. Of course, come to think of it, she didn't even remember having the pizza.

"Relax, nothing happened." Jake's deep, sleep-filled voice tickled her ear just before he buried his face into the nape of her neck. "Unfortunately."

There was enough of a tease to his voice that let her know he was only joking on the last part. Jules remained stiff in his embrace, however. She knew if he said nothing had happened then she could trust him. It bothered her, though, that she couldn't remember how she came to be sleeping in his bed. She turned over on her back, staring up at the ceiling, and pulled the covers up closer to her chin. It didn't matter that she was already sufficiently covered, modesty dictated that she needed the thin shield.

Jake released his grip on her waist and hovered over her, blazing a trail of kisses from her ear down to her mouth. He smiled down at her. "However, now that you are awake, we can always change that part of the story."

Jules didn't push him away but she didn't relax at his attempts to distract her. He was dressed as well, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Not the clothes he'd had on the night before though. Jake sighed and shifted his position so that he was propped up on one arm. With his other hand, he lightly traced her jaw. "You have no idea why you are here, do you? What's the last thing you remember about last night?"

She had a feeling it was probably bad form to admit to not remembering much about the evening, especially not after waking up where she had. But she couldn't lie, not to Jake, especially not when he'd already guessed the truth. "I remember us coming here to watch a movie. We argued over whether to get mushrooms or anchovies on the pizza…"

Jake chuckled. "Hardly an argument. Like my 'slimy minnows' as you called them had a chance over your toadstools. I just had to give you a hard time about it. Actually I don't even like anchovies."

"Jerk." Jules grumbled good-naturedly, despite her embarrassment. She relaxed a little, having to admit that it did feel good having him hold her close. She wasn't quite ready to fully snuggle into his embrace, but she was getting closer. "I almost felt bed about saying no about them. Anyway, you went down to the lobby to meet the delivery guy and…" She trailed off realizing that was the last she remembered. How could it be the last she remembered? That had been early evening. How could hours have passed without her remembering them?

Jake nodded. "Yeah, and when I came back up with the pizza, you were sprawled out on my bed sound asleep. It was pretty adorable, actually, and damn sexy. Knowing you haven't been sleeping well lately, I thought about just letting you sleep. But the more I thought about it, I decided I should wake you up. You haven't been eating enough either, and in the larger scheme of things, I decided it was probably better that you eat than sleep. You woke up easily enough, maybe a little too easily, but it I didn't really question it when you ate six slices of pizza. You out-ate me, and I'm like a pizza glutton. We started the movie while we were eating, and you laughed in all the right parts. Even your kisses felt right. But then, the pizza was gone and we settled back on my bed to finish the movie. It didn't take me long to realize you weren't laughing at the funny parts anymore. I looked down and you were once again sacked out. That's when I started to wonder if you were ever fully awake to start with."

Her cheeks felt warm as she flushed with embarrassment. "Why didn't you wake me up? I mean, even if you felt like I needed the sleep, why not wake me up after the movie was over so I could go home. Sara…"

"Was in good hands. I called your apartment and talked to Brian. Made sure he was okay with staying over. He was more than happy to; promised he'd call here if something happened. Since he didn't call, I think that means everything was probably okay."

Jules frowned. He made everything seem so easy, so okay. She wasn't so sure she agreed, but she couldn't quite explain why this was bothering her so much. "It's not Brian's responsibility." She could see he was about to protest and headed him off. "Okay, so as her boyfriend, maybe he has the same sort of responsibility that I have as her best friend, but that's not really the point. He hasn't been there; he doesn't know what all Sara's been going through. I know it's because Sara has been pushing him away and not because he hasn't wanted to be there, but it doesn't change how things are." She blew out a frustrated breath. "I know you were trying to take care of me, Jake, but I really wish you'd just woken me up when the movie was over."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He'd suspected she wasn't going to be exactly happy when she woke up, but there really wasn't much he could do about it. "For the record, I tried. As much as I wanted you to catch up on your sleep, I figured you wouldn't be comfortable staying the night. So after the movie ended, I tried to wake you up. Short of setting off a bomb in here - which I don't think my Resident Advisor or anyone else at the university would have appreciated - I don't think there was any way I could have woken you up. You were completely zonked out, to the point you didn't even react when I slipped off your jeans."

Jules stiffened once again. She'd almost forgotten about that part. Jake chuckled slightly and she almost wanted to punch him for being so at ease with everything while she was on the verge of completely freaking out. "Socks, shoes, and jeans only. I swear, I didn't see anything I haven't already seen before. At first I was just going to take off your socks and shoes, but I knew you wouldn't sleep well in your jeans. As great as you were sleeping then, I knew eventually you'd be uncomfortable. It wasn't a matter of wanting to keep you here - although I have to say having you sleeping in my bed is a dream come true for me. I just wanted you to get a good night's sleep. Something I doubt you've done since Sara's mother died."

Now his hand slipped beneath the covers and settled on her hip. His thumb made lazy circles just above her panty line. "I even thought about being a real gentleman and sleeping on the floor and letting you have the bed to yourself. I thought about it, but the temptation to be able to just hold you in my arms as we slept was too great to resist. I could say I was just worried about you having nightmares or something and wanting to be there, but that's not the complete truth. I was selfish and just wanted to be near you. You know I would never take advantage of you or hurt you in anyway. Nothing happened but sleep, except in my dreams. In my defense though, I can't exactly control what goes on there."

"Am I an idiot?" Jules asked so softly he almost didn't hear her. When his eyebrow cocked upward in question, she sighed. "You've been nothing but great to me in all this, and here I am, acting like a virgin about to be sacrificed to a monster."

Jake laughed out loud at the image. His hand that was on her hip crept up just a little higher on her waist. "Jules, you are a virgin. While I wouldn't consider myself to be a monster, I can't deny that you do look incredibly enticing lying here in my bed with your sleep tousled hair and that incredibly sexy flush to your cheeks. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to make love to you right now. But I know you aren't ready for that, and I'm not going to pressure you. That's not going to stop me from doing this though."

He leaned closer and covered her lips with his own. At first Jules responded enthusiastically. How could a girl not feel special hearing her boyfriend express his desires so openly? Then she started to think about what she was doing and exactly what he'd said. Sleep tousled hair was a nice way of saying she had bed head. She hadn't showered or even brushed her teeth yet. How sexy and desirable could that be? She supposed couples who regularly slept together didn't jump up and take care of those basic needs before giving in to early morning urges, but was she ready for such intimacy?

Realizing she wasn't kissing back, Jake stopped with a heavy sigh. He reached behind him and rearranged the pillows so he could comfortably sit up against them and the headboard. Jules blinked back sudden tears and bit her lower lip. How could she explain her reluctance where it wouldn't hurt his feelings or make her feel even more like a naïve school girl? Jake reached up and stroked her chin.

"Look in the top drawer of the nightstand. I think you'll find what you need in there." Jake told her cryptically. He didn't sound upset that she'd seemingly spurned his kiss, perhaps a little frustrated, but not mad.

Doing as he asked, Jules leaned over and opened the drawer. A box of condoms immediately caught her eye. Reaching in, she picked it up only to realize that it was an opened box that was missing several of its contents. Turning back to face Jake, she showed him the box but didn't say anything. Now it was Jake's turn to look embarrassed. He rubbed his hand over his mouth and the tops of his ears turned pink.

"That's not what I was referring to." He explained quickly.

"And yet there they were." Jules responded, her tone neutral.

"Well, yeah." Jake scrambled to explain. "You know my dad and I have this great relationship. We talk about everything. Everything but sex that is. For some reason, when it came time for The Talk, Dad would just stammer around and get all tongue-tied and nervous. Pretty funny considering he's usually this really articulate person. The one thing he didn't have a problem with drilling in me was that if there was even a remote chance I might be ready for sex, I'd better have protection handy just in case the remote chance became a certainty. So when we first started getting serious, I bought those so that when the time was right, I'd be ready. I swear, they've been in that drawer since I bought them and they haven't been used."

Jules shook the box to illustrate the fact that there were some missing. There was a slight smirk on her face, but she still didn't say anything. He laughed nervously. "Okay, I took out about five of them. Two for my wallet and the others in the glove compartment of my truck. I couldn't be sure where the time might be right so I wanted to be ready. Hell, I thought about stashing a few in your apartment as well, but quickly discarded the idea. Jules, I don't think I've made it any secret that I want to make love to you. Sometimes I want to so much it hurts. The thing is, I think you want to as well. Something is holding you back; I don't know what it is, but it rears its head about the time I think we're going to go all the way."

"Jake…" Jules started but then paused; he was absolutely right. She owed him an explanation but she wasn't sure the truth would make him feel better. He waved off her attempt.

"You don't have to explain, Jules. If you aren't ready, then you aren't ready. I get it; it's not always easy to live with, but I do get it. It's just that guys talk - okay, so guys brag- and living in the dorm, I hear a lot of bragging. Guys talking about - well, I'm sure you can imagine what they talk about, but maybe it's better if you can't. Anyway, sometimes it seems like I'm the only guy in the world who hasn't had sex. I know you haven't either, but it's different for guys. I don't know why, but it is."

Jules felt a momentary pang of guilt. The truth was she hadn't really considered Jake's feelings each time she'd put him off. Was her mother's advice to make sure before having sex for the first time enough of a reason not to give in to the feelings that seem so strong each time she'd found herself in a position with Jake that she had to make a decision? She started to respond but Jake covered her lips with his finger, silencing her. "Don't Jules. Don't second guess yourself. This isn't a conversation I intended to have with you today; not while you've got so much on your plate and sure as hell not while you are in my bed looking so hot and sexy. As much as I want to make love to you, I don't want to do so and have you regret it later because it wasn't what you really wanted. I also don't want you to ever think I'm sleeping with you just so I finally have something to brag about as well. That would hurt me worse than us not making love does. Just don't be mad at me for wanting more."

She appreciated his honesty. It made her start to think maybe he really was the kind of person her mother had talked about being worthy of her first time. The fact that she didn't have to make that decision right now made her feel even better. "Okay, so if your little 'just in case' box wasn't what you sent me searching for, what was?"

Jake leaned over her and rummaged in the drawer, pulling out a small bag from a local store. He dropped it on her lap. "My other 'just in case' purchases."

Jules glanced in the bag and discovered it was full of trial-sized toiletry items. Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Toiletries she needed to feel human enough to face the day. However they weren't just any kind of generic trial-sized varieties but each of the brands she used on a daily basis. She looked at Jake in wonder. He shrugged.

"Like I said, guys talk. I've heard some pretty bad 'morning after' stories, and I decided about the same time I bought the condoms that if I were lucky enough to get you to spend the night, I wanted better for you. So I picked up a few things. I can't do much about a change of clothes except to offer you one of my shirts, but at least you can take care of the other stuff."

This time the flush that washed over her had nothing to do with embarrassment. She smiled. "Why Jake Tournage, your mother must be so proud of you. You're a regular boy scout."

"My mom would have a heart attack if she knew I had either of those 'just in case' items in my dorm room." Jake remarked dryly. "Besides, I might be prepared but she knows better than anyone that I'm no boy scout." He twisted on the bed to practically cover her with his body. His hands went to her sides, running up just slightly under her t-shirt. "One of these days I'm going to get to show you just how much a boy scout I'm not."

He kissed her again and this time she didn't stop him. Morning breath and sleep tousled hair momentarily forgotten, she gave in to the power of his kisses, comfortable with the belief that, for now at least, it would just be kisses.

- FP - FP - FP -

By the time Jules arrived back to her apartment, the morning was more than half over. After she'd gotten a shower, she'd re-dressed in the clothes she'd worn the night before. While Jake had offered her one of his shirts to wear, Jules was afraid it would seem a little too much like a walk of shame even though nothing had happened to feel shameful about. Jake had insisted on taking her to breakfast despite her own insistence that she should relieve Brian.

Opening the apartment door, Jules heard the TV playing softly in the living room. Brian looked up as she entered and quickly shut off the television, but not before Jules caught a glimpse of what he'd been watching. She smiled, shaking her head. "Were you watching Saturday morning cartoons?"

"Guilty. But in my defense, there wasn't much to choose from. Explain to me again why the two of you don't have cable?"

Jules shrugged. "We're usually too busy to watch much TV so it was an expense we felt like we didn't need. How's Sara?"

Brian jerked his head toward the closed bedroom door. "She locked herself in there not long after I got here. Said she didn't need a babysitter and that she resented the hell out us acting like she did. Nothing I said would change her mind."

Jules frowned and sank into the couch. "Jake said you were going to call if anything happened."

Brian nodded. "I was but I didn't feel like her locking herself in the bedroom counted as something." He glanced back toward the bedroom before turning back to Jules. "I knew she was having a hard time, but I didn't realize it was this bad. How have you handled this on your own?"

Jules shrugged once again, wishing the question was as inane as why they didn't have cable. "She's my friend. She was there when I needed someone; of course, I'm going to do the same."

Brian reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. "I know why you are here for her, but how are you doing it? I love her, Jules; I want to do more for her, help her through this. That's why I didn't hesitate yesterday when you called and asked if I'd spend the evening with her. Every time I've seen you since the funeral, whether its been here or just somewhere on campus, you've looked exhausted. I didn't really get it, but now I do. I only spent last night with her and I feel like I've stayed up all night cramming for an exam. How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?"

Jules could tell his question was earnest. He was really interested in figuring out how to be there for Sara. It warmed her heart. Like Jake, Brian was a guy that could be counted on. He might not be perfect in the undertaking - but who really was? - but he was sincere in the attempt. "It helps that I live here; she can't dodge me as effectively as she has you. It also makes a difference that I'm pretty stubborn when I want to be. She can be too, but she never had to out stubborn four older brothers like I've had to all my life. I'm better at it than she is."

Brian sighed. "She said some pretty awful things before she locked herself away."

Jules nodded. She knew all too well how sharp her best friend's tongue could be. "And yet you didn't let it run you off. You stayed when it would have been easy to throw your hands up in defeat. That'll mean something to her eventually." She hoped it would at least. One day soon, whether it was because of the pills the doctor had prescribed, the therapy itself, or just time healing the worst of her wounds, Sara would be back to her usual sunny, but dramatic self. She would realize everything her friends had done for her and that would help her even more.

"They say you always hurt the ones you love the most, right?" Brian rubbed his hands over his face wearily.

Jules could tell he was wiped out. The blanket haphazardly folded on the end of the couch said that this was where he'd slept, if he'd slept much at all. She knew from experience that although the couch was comfortable enough for hanging out and watching TV, it wasn't comfortable for sleeping. She started to feel guilty; after all, she'd had probably the best night of rest in a couple of weeks, but she pushed past the initial feelings. Dr. Walters had been right; she'd needed the break, even if it was only for one night. "Go home, Brian. Get some sleep. You've earned it."

He nodded. "Yeah, I think I will. I'm glad she has you; I still don't know how you've done everything the last couple of weeks, but I'm glad you have. But Jules, just remember you don't have to do all this alone. Let me, let Jake, let someone take the burden from time to time. I want to be here for her, however I can."

Jules offered him a quick hug. She hadn't really given much thought to how hard all of this had been on him. Perhaps she should have made more of an effort to include him. She didn't think of watching out for Sara as a burden, but then again, she didn't think he meant it that way either. Without a doubt, it was draining her. The fact that she'd zonked out so completely at Jake's the night before proved that. "I promise."

Once Brian left, Jules busied herself straightening up the living room. Then she disappeared into her bedroom and went straight to the closet. She dug around to the very back where she had a pair of boots still in the box they'd come in. Reaching her hand into the left boot she pulled out the small bottle of pills she'd hidden there the day before. The antidepressants Dr. Walters had prescribed for Sara. Jules had taken the doctor's suggestion to keep the pills out of Sara's reach seriously. She'd thought about just keeping the bottle in her purse, but had quickly decided against it, figuring it would be the first place Sara would look if she took a mind to. Even if Sara got truly desperate, which Jules couldn't see her doing, and searched Jules's bedroom looking for them, Jules was pretty sure she'd never find them in this particular hiding place.

She opened the bottle and shook out two small white pills into her hand. After recapping the bottle and returning it to its hiding place, Jules returned to the living room. She was pretty sure Brian wouldn't have been able to successfully get Sara to eat anything for breakfast. Not the way he'd said she'd locked herself in her bedroom. Jules pulled her secret weapon out of the cupboard, grateful once again that Jake had managed a grocery run for her the day before. Retrieving a bowl from the drain board, Jules poured a moderate portion of Fruity Pebbles into it. Sara loved Fruity Pebbles even more than she loved macaroni and cheese. So far getting her best friend to eat the cereal had been her easiest success. Hopefully it would be the same today.

Armed with the pills, a small bottle of juice, and the bowl of cereal - dry, never with milk, Jules went to Sara's bedroom. She knocked with her foot. "Sara, it's Jules. Can I come in?"

She heard shuffling about inside and then the lock clicked and the door opened just enough that she could push it open the rest of the way with her foot. Sara had returned to the bed and was sitting there with her arms crossed, her expression dark and stormy. Jules stepped inside and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "I brought you some cereal. Fruity Pebbles. I also brought the medicine Dr. Walters prescribed."

She really wasn't sure how Sara was going to react about the pills. Dr. Walters had said Sara had agreed to take them, but had it been merely a promise made to get the doctor off her back? A promise she'd never planned on keeping.

Without a word, Sara reached out her hand and accepted the pills, swallowing them dry. Jules had never understood how she could take medication without water or some other liquid to chase it down. Then Sara glared at her. "Happy?"

Jules sighed, wishing not for the first time that she could truthfully answer yes. "Nothing about any of this makes me happy, Sara. You know that. I just want things better for you. Hopefully though the medication will help that along."

Sara took the bowl from her and took a bite of the cereal almost automatically. "I bet Jake had a big smile on his face this morning. What did he do to finally make you give it up?" Jules started to protest, but Sara just shook her head. "Don't Jules. Don't sit there and deny that you spent the night with Jake. You left yesterday on a date with him and you never came home last night. You haven't even changed clothes. But you know what, fine, whatever. You want to screw Jake, what do I care? Put your own wants first and foremost, just like always."

Again Jules felt like Sara had physically assaulted her. She might not have used the word this time, but for the second time in as many days, Sara was calling her selfish. The day before, Jules had fled from Sara's hurtful words. It had been the impetus that had finally led Jules to pay a visit to the grief counselor. Today, the words hurt just as much, but her reaction to them was different.

"My own wants? What wants would those be, Sara? I've been busting my ass trying to keep up with your classes and work schedule as well as my own. I've barely had time to worry about my needs, forget about my wants. The only reason I even went out with Jake last night was because he and Dr. Walters insisted that I needed a break. And yeah, I spent the night in his dorm, but not for the reasons you're suggesting. I fell asleep not long after I got there and was apparently sleeping so hard Jake couldn't wake me up."

Sara set the bowl on the nightstand, still half full of cereal. Her lower lip pouted out just slightly. "I never asked you to put your life on hold for me."

Jules twisted around slightly so she could lie on her back sideways on the bed. She stared up at the ceiling, breathing hard. "I know you didn't, Sara. I haven't done anything I haven't wanted to do. You are my best friend and you are hurting. I want to help you through this, even if it means losing a little sleep or a little weight. Brian feels the same way; he'd do anything for you. You have no idea how much you are hurting him by not letting him in."

The pout turned to an outright frown. "I'm sure you could comfort him and make him feel all better. The two of you certainly seemed chummy enough earlier. Maybe the reason you won't give it to Jake is because you're already warming Brian's bed."

"Damn it, Sara, do you even hear yourself?" Jules sat up again, her eyes flashing. "I'm not sleeping with Brian any more than I'm sleeping with Jake. If we seemed chummy, it's because we're both torn up seeing you hurting this way. You think it's easy watching you self destruct the way you are?" Her voice caught and tears filled her eyes. "I want my best friend back. No, I need you. I know you are hurting; I know the last couple of weeks have been hell for you. I wish I could do something to make things better, but I can't."

"You want to make things better? You want to help? Leave me the hell alone. How about that? I don't need you. I don't need Brian. I don't need my dad. Since mom didn't seem to think she needed me, I don't guess I need her either. Just back off and let me live my life."

Jules brushed away the tears impatiently. She'd treaded carefully around Sara since the night Mrs. Daniels had committed suicide. She'd been understanding and sympathetic, even while cajoling and pushing her to take care of herself. And where had it gotten her? Absolutely no where. Maybe it was time for some tough love. "If you were living your life, I would. But you're not. You've quit sleeping, eating, bathing, doing anything that even remotely resembles living. It's like you gave up on life just as surely as your mom did. It's like we buried you the same time we buried your mom."

Sara pushed herself off the bed and moved across the room to her dresser. She gripped the edge of the wood tightly as she looked into the mirror. It was obvious she was avoiding looking at her own reflection but was using the mirror to look at Jules instead. "Maybe you did. Jules, how did you do it?"

It was the second time that morning that someone had asked her how she'd done something. Jules didn't know how to answer Sara any more than she'd known how to answer Brian. "How did I do what?"

"Survive losing your mom. I know I was there and I know it was hard on you but for the life of me I don't know how you did it. You and your mom were so much closer than I ever was with my mom. Yet somehow you didn't let your grief swallow you whole. I don't think I can do that. Every time I close my eyes I see her lying there. Over and over again I hear her practically begging me just to come to supper. I keep thinking that maybe if I'd just said yes to dinner without being such a pain about it, maybe she wouldn't have done it. I feel like I killed my mother and that she in turn killed me."

The tears spilled soundlessly down Jules's cheeks as she listened to the raw emotion in her best friend's voice. It was perhaps the most they'd really talked about what had happened and while Jules knew Sara needed to get it off her chest, it was painful to listen to. "She didn't kill you, Sara. You're still here and you're still alive. You just have to decide that you want to live again. Yeah, losing my mom was probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with, but at least I had time to prepare. It didn't make things better, but at least I had some closure. We had time to say the things we needed to say. You didn't get that. Plus, you found your mom. I can't even imagine how horrible that was. But Sara, you gotta know it's not your fault. Whatever was going on in your mom's head when she made the choice she did, you can't blame yourself."

Sara turned around and slumped to the floor with her back against the dresser. "I wish I could believe that. I don't think I can do this, Jules. How do I face each day knowing she's not there? Every time I fought with her or put off having dinner with her, I did so thinking no matter how I treated her, she'd be there when I needed or wanted her. But she's not there. I can't call her; I can't go see her; I can't do anything but visit a piece of granite bearing her name and span of life. At least when you lost your mom, you still had your dad and your brothers to lean on. I don't have anyone. I'm all alone."

Jules joined her on the floor and wrapped her arms around Sara. "You aren't alone, Sara. You have me and you have Brian. You can lean on us until you feel strong enough to stand on your own. I won't promise that it gets easier but you will get through this. And once you do; when you realize you are strong enough to handle this horrible nightmare, you'll realize you can get through anything."

"I just want the pain to stop." Sara commented quietly. "I'd do anything to wake up in the morning without this gaping hole where my heart used to be."

"I know." Jules soothed, holding her friend as if she could lend her the strength she needed just through sheer contact. "I know."