You're The Only One Who…

Summary: Just a collection of times that Blair drunk dialed Chuck. Inspired by his infamous line in 'Woman on the Verge.' This one is a little less fluff, a little bit more angsty. Right after 'Roman Holiday.'
Author's Note: This is the only outlet through which I can express my frustration over not owning Gossip Girl.

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a part of me that likes to bring you down

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Blair sat locked up in her room after the Christmas festivities were over and her father had gone home, surrounded by as much eggnog and white wine as she could coax out of Dorota. It really paid to be super close with your maid—as long as she didn't leave the house or get herself into any kind of trouble, she was allowed to indulge in as much alcohol as she wanted for the evening. Thank God for that.

That stupid picture of Chuck possessively wrapping his arm around Nate and smirking lecherously into the camera (just for her, she was sure) was the cause of all her suffering. How dare he think he could just waltz in and ruin everything she had worked so hard for? It was his own fault she was even back with Nate, anyway. She had been ready—or at least preparing—to move on. With Chuck. She cringed at the thought.

It was as if he was trying to say that Nate had belonged to him first. Her mind, of course, made the connection that she, too, now officially belonged to him first. God damnit. Now he was laughing at her because, if it came down to it, Nate would take Chuck's side over Blair's. But that couldn't be true, not if Nate knew the truth: that Chuck had callously seduced his vulnerable ex-girlfriend while she was still very much in love with Nate himself. Right, she scolded herself. And then said vulnerable ex-girlfriend just kept on coming back for more, and was so vulnerable she decided to start secretly dating Chuck. That would go over well.

And then there was the other worry, hidden deep under layers and layers of anger and frustration. Why was Chuck doing this? Sure, he liked to play around and make music out of everyone else's misery, but why would he try to hurt his own best friend like this? And, not to mention, hurt her. She and Chuck had always been close. He had never pulled something like this before—never against her. The only conclusion she could come to was that he was really hurt. By their supposed break-up, or by the fact that she had slept with Nate, she didn't know. He had left for Monaco immediately after, as if he were running away from something. Away from her? Or away from his guilt for betraying Nate? He clearly has no problem betraying Nate right now.

It didn't matter how Chuck felt, she told herself. She had Nate back in the palm of her hand, and that was all that mattered. But if that was true, then why had she been calling Chuck non-stop since the day he left?

Chuck sat slumped on the couch of his hotel suite in Monaco, as Nate paced around the room, itching to go out.

"How about we hit a club, man?" Nate asked giddily, nudging his best friend in the arm. They had had quite a bit of fun the last few days, but ever since the last text message Chuck had received, about two hours ago, he had fallen into some kind of weirdly depressive state. It made Nate pretty uncomfortable, since he had never seen Chuck be less than extremely thrilled about his own depravity.

Chuck just shook his head, calmly replying, "I think I'm going to call it a night. You can go out, though. I'd hate to ruin your vacation."

Nate sat down next to Chuck, racking his brain for something to cheer his best friend up. He knew that Chuck was always hoping Nate would follow in his footsteps, so maybe he could start by sharing some tidbits about his evening with Blair. Hadn't it always been Chuck who was pushing him to 'seal the deal?' Nate felt bad about kissing and telling, but Chuck seemed so down, it had to be worth it.

"So…" he began in a playful tone that caused Chuck to look up at him with mild expectation. "You know that Blair and I—"

"Yeah, I figured as much," Chuck cut him off a little abruptly, but tried to smile knowingly.

Nate was slightly taken aback. Chuck didn't seem to be very interested in the details. "So, are you proud of me or what, Chuck?"

Chuck's facial expression hardened for a moment, but then resumed its naturally perverted glory. "Of course I am. I knew you'd get around to it one day."

"But you haven't asked me anything about it," Nate prodded, searching for clues in Chuck's demeanor. He had never been very good at this seeing-through-people thing.

"I'm not going to pry into your personal life like that, Nathaniel," Chuck countered, reaching for his fifth scotch of the evening. If he was going to have to hear all about Blair losing her 'virginity,' he was definitely not going to do it sober.

Nate laughed. "But you always want to hear about my sex life."

Chuck smirked. "I knew about you having sex with Serena for six months before you came clean to me. Did I ever ask you about it even once?"

Nate crossed his arms, pretending to be offended. "So what you're saying is that you only want to hear about all the times I don't have sex?"

Chuck forced himself to laugh and patted Nate on the back, "Come on, tell me all about how you melted the Ice Queen." Inside, he was glowering, praying for some lightening bolt that might strike both him and his precious Nathaniel down before this charade could go any further.

About an hour later, once Chuck had just about drowned himself in alcohol and Nate had finally left for the club after blabbering endlessly about how 'amazing' Blair had been, the phone rang. So she got the message, Chuck thought grimly to himself as he picked up.

"What is wrong with you?" She screeched into the phone. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Well, hello to you, too," he drawled. At least he could still get her blood going, if that counted for anything anymore.

"So now you pick up, huh?" She said venomously. "Why, so you can gloat?"

"I don't have anything to gloat about," he bit back. "I've just laid my cards out on the table. Now you can decide what your next move is going to be."

"You're pathetic, you know that?" She sighed as her hand nearly crushed the phone in frustration. "This really is your weakest card ever."

"It's the only one I have left." He shrugged, not even caring that he had already let her win by even having this conversation. "You saw to that."

"What does that even mean?" She asked, outraged once more. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?"

He winced at the notion that he was someone to feel sorry for, but as long as he wouldn't remember this phone call in the morning, he could run with it all he wanted right now. "I put myself out there, and you just laugh in my face." He paused to down another drink before continuing. "I always knew you were a first-class bitch, I just thought you were at least loyal to your minions."

Before she could interrupt to either defend herself or attack him, he finished with, "I guess I should be thanking you for stabbing me in the face instead of the back."

"Excuse me?" Blair cried, almost pulling her hair out because she didn't have him there to grab or kick. "You ruined my cotillion on purpose. You tried to keep me away from Nate when I wasn't even planning on…" It was there that she faltered. That was not information that she wanted him to have.

Chuck sat up straight just then. "Planning on what?" He prompted. "Keep talking, Waldorf."

Blair shook her head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

"The truth always matters," he shot back. "Just tell me, for once, what the hell is going through your mind."

"Don't you know already?" She replied sarcastically. "I thought Chuck Bass knew everything."

He rubbed his left temple with his free hand. "Blair, I swear to God—"

"God doesn't listen to you," she scoffed. But something, whether it be the unearthly amount of alcohol she had just imbibed or the broken sound of his voice from far away, made her think that honesty wasn't such a bad thing after all. "I've called you, like, 28 times in the last week. I was worried about you. I called you hours after Nate and I… Does that mean nothing to you?" She sighed, hating herself for always having to be sincere around him. "Think about it."

After a brief silence, during which he tried to remind himself that she was his best friend's girlfriend once more, he finally spoke up. "I assume Nathaniel failed to properly excite you, and you were calling to chew me out for not training him properly." His tone was full of bitterness.

"You're so full of it," she spat. How dare he make her sound so disgustingly sexual? "For your information, I had the best sex I've ever had in my life with Nate. It was perfect." That was definitely the first flat-out lie she had ever told Chuck.

"Is that so?" He whispered, his voice shockingly low and gravelly, already doing more for her than Nate's hands ever could. "So, you're telling me he made you come multiple times…Maybe even just by using his fingers?"

"Well…"

"Does he even know where to touch you?" Chuck continued, sounding warmer now. "Does he know the spot that makes you completely lose control?"

"Chuck, please, stop right now…" Blair whispered back, closing her eyes and trying not to imagine Chuck doing those things to her right then. Thank goodness she and Nate hadn't made anything official yet, because this had to count as some form of cheating.

"I just hope you remembered to say his name. Because you were clearly thinking of mine," he finished, using all his willpower to remain unaffected by the picture he was painting for her. "There's only one reason a girl would call another guy after sleeping with the man of her dreams. I know that much."

"Clearly, you don't know enough," Blair answered, incensed that Chuck had made her feeling so uncomfortably turned on. "It's different with Nate. There are feelings there, so of course it was more special."

Chuck fell silent, and she knew those words had stung him. She waited for his biting comeback, but when none came, she knew she had gone too far. "Chuck, I'm sorry… That's not even—"

"Shut up," he commanded in as clipped a tone of voice as he could manage. "I get it. We had our little fun, and now it's time for your 'feelings' to take over. I mean, we all know I have no feelings. I'm a robot." He let out a sharp laugh and tried to calm himself by taking a deep breath. "Butterflies? What the hell was I talking about? It was clearly indigestion, because they're long gone now. Maybe your party just served some rotten sushi."

Blair already felt like she wanted to vomit and then maybe die. She wasn't used to having the power to hurt Chuck, and she had no idea what to do with it. How could she make this better? The only way she knew of was impossible at this point. He couldn't be trusted anymore, she couldn't ever give herself over to him again, and Nate could never find out that she ever had.

"Can't we just forget about this, Bass?" She pleaded with him. "I'm with Nate again, I know, but the three of us have always been so close."

"Maybe you misunderstood me before," Chuck said, smirking once again. "You are not going to be with Nate. Not unless you want him to know the truth about you."

"Why are you doing this to me, Chuck?" She said, with more anger and less compunction this time around. "Aren't we supposed to be friends? You've always been on my side before—"

"Maybe I was never your friend, Princess. Did you ever think about that?" he replied coolly, in a voice he himself didn't even recognize. He already regretted the words before they were out of his mouth. "Maybe I just wanted to be the first inside of you, fucking you senseless. And this was just the only way you'd let me. Well, now that's over, so I'm—"

He didn't get to finish whatever disgusting bullshit he was spouting, because Blair had already hung up. Good. That was exactly what he wanted.

He threw his glass against the wall and watched as it shattered into a million little pieces. As many pieces as the heart he had never had in the first place.

Somehow, he managed to drag himself to the bed and crawl under the covers, hoping maybe they would suffocate him before Nate got back.

Nearly half an hour later, Blair was still lying on top of her bed, crying her eyes out. Dorota had attempted to get in the room several times, but Blair had bolted it shut. She tried to control herself, tried to quiet her sobs, or at least stop thinking about Chuck's words. Or what he must have been feeling to be able say those words. Unfortunately, the mere fact that she was crying over Chuck Bass made the tears fall even harder and faster. She was going to run out of liquid in her body soon.

The phone she had thrown across the room began buzzing, indicating an incoming text. As she moved to find it, she thought that she could at least be thankful that it wasn't broken.

She opened it to find that the text was from Chuck. Whether that made her happy or desperately sad, she had no idea.

U know i didn't mean any of that.

She nearly smiled through her tears. Of course he didn't mean it. He just knew how to hurt people. And so did she.

I know. I didn't mean it either. She sent the acceptance and apology back to him, glad to see that even the worst of their fights could be resolved with a few written words.

Ur still not allowed around N.

She scoffed in disbelief. Was he serious? Rolling her eyes, she readied herself for the upcoming battle when he returned. Chuck Bass better bring it, because the game was definitely on.