AN: Disclaimer and Copyright. I do not own anything. Obviously.
Wow! So I was really happy with all of the feedback I have gotten from this story, thank you all and please keep them coming! I'm Sorry about the long wait for this chapter but I had a rough time getting it to be how I wanted.
Avoid the Void- Thank you so much for your kind review, I was so excited to be the one to recieve your first review for a story, and I'm sorry for getting you all emotional!! haha thanks! This chapter is for you!
Anyways Please let me know if you have any suggestions for the upcoming chapters.
As always, please READ, REVIEW AND ENJOY!
-Cassandra
Cuddy ran to the door and swung it open, her blue eyes shining with hope.
"Wilson." She said plainly, looking at him with confusion running along her delicate features.
"Yeah Lisa, who did you think it was?" He said with concern dripping from his voice.
Cuddy shook her head and mentally kicked herself for being so stupid, he was gone and it was just sad to keep getting her hopes up.
"No one." She stood to the side, granting permission for Wilson to enter.
He walked through the door and looked around the House. Wilson walked into her living room and flinched. There were empty bags of chips, cookies and pretzels, two old pizza boxes, Chinese take out and three glass bottles of bourbon, tequila and whiskey.
"Cuddy…" He began, worry etched over his face.
"I'm fine James, I just haven't gotten around to cleaning. Don't worry about me."
Cuddy said sitting on her couch and picking up the bottle of bourbon. Wilson sat across from her and attempted to grab the bottle from her.
"Lisa, No. It's two in the afternoon, you are not drinking."
Cuddy moved the bottle from his reach and took a long drink.
"It's dark somewhere in the world James. If you really think about it, and believe me I've had plenty of time to, there is darkness every where. It's always floating above our heads, waiting to fall and enclose you into it. I don't wanna drown in the darkness James. I can't. "
They sat in silence for a while just lost in their own thoughts when Wilson remembered something.
"Cuddy, your birthday is in two days isn't it?"
She nodded without looking up at him, still looking down at the coffee table where a picture of her and House sat.
"Well, why don't we call everyone and go out to Kelley's to celebrate? Honestly you don't look a day over thirty two."
Cuddy removed her eyes from the picture and replaced them to stare into Wilson's. He fidgeted awkwardly, feeling like she could see right through him with the piercing deep blue eyes.
"I have nothing to celebrate about." She said coldly, standing up and walking into the kitchen.
Wilson sighed. He knew this was hard on her, and he wished he could help…but it was hard on him too. He wanted her to see that. Standing up, he followed her into the kitchen and leaned against the door frame.
"Really James, I am another year older, my husband is dead, I don't have any children, my job is a pain in the ass, and I'm alone. There is nothing to celebrate."
Wilson sighed and bit his lip, he observed Cuddy as she stood with her back to him washing the dishes in her sink. She was wearing a pair of oversized light gray sweat pants, and a black spaghetti strap tank top, her hair was down and naturally curled.
When she turned around, it broke his heart to see her with tears streaking down her face. She held out a red coffee mug that still held coffee in it, she dumped the coffee down the drain and caressed the cup. Wilson noted that if he was in her situation he probably would have kept the cup and not washed it, he was shocked when she slammed the glass mug down on the floor and it broke into a million little pieces.
She slid down the counter sobbing and sitting in the glass. Wilson ran over to her not attempting to avoid the glass because he had shoes on, and lifted her into his arms, her bare feet were now covered in blood and she had scratches on her hands.
Wilson carried Cuddy into her room against her protests and sat with her on the king sized bed.
"I miss him so much Wilson." She sobbed into his chest.
"Me too." He whispered into her ear while rubbing circles on her back.
They sat together crying for an unknown amount of time. Eventually Cuddy had stopped crying and sat against her headboard holding House's old pillow. Wilson lay on his back horizontally and kicked his feet against the side of the bed. They talked about older times before House and Cuddy got together, Cuddy's desperate wanting for a baby, Wilson and Amber's new relationship and many other things for hours on end.
The two friends were silent, lost in their own memories when Cuddy suddenly gasped.
"What is it Lisa?" Wilson asked reaching for her hand.
She looked around the room, her eyes searching for something.
"Do you ever feel like he's here"She whispered as she ran her fingers over the pillow.
Wilson stared at her, his expression unreadable.
"Sometimes, yeah."
Cuddy nodded.
"I do too, I can feel him at night. Sometimes I hear his cane thumping around."
Wilson nodded and yawned. Looking over at Cuddy he bit the inside of his cheek.
"Cuddy are you alright, do you want me to stay here with you tonight? Or would you rather me call someone, I'm sure Allison and Remy would want to be with you. You guys can have a girls night like you used to."
Cuddy shook her head and punched the pillow.
"I don't want a girls night, James I WANT MY HUSBAND!"
Wilson sighed heavily.
"I'm calling Allison. Stay here and try to go to sleep."
He stood from the bed and walked to the door.
"I don't need a babysitter Wilson." Cuddy said coldly.
Wilson opened the door and looked back at her.
"Yeah you do." With that her bedroom door was closed and she was finally left alone.
"House…are you there?" She whispered softly.
"He's trying to help, he might be doing a shitty job but he's handling this the best way he can." Cuddy felt House's rough hand caresses her cheek, she leaned into his tough and inhaled deeply.
"I know." She whispered.
"Blame me, not him."
Cuddy nodded and fell back into her fluffy pillows. She shivered and could've sworn she felt him pull the blankets over her.
"I love you, so much." She whispered before falling into a deep and heavy sleep.
Cuddy woke up to the heavenly aroma of cheese pizza filling her senses.
She looked at her cell phone and read that it was 12:45 PM.
Standing up she began changing into a pair of House's blue boxers and his old Rolling Stones tee. Cuddy walked into the hall way and heard four familiar voices talking in her kitchen. She listened.
"It's bad." She heard Wilson say softly.
"Well I don't blame her, he's gone and not coming back, I lost a husband once too you know, and it's really, really hard to get over." Cuddy recognized Cameron's kind and soft voice.
"Yeah, I actually kind of miss the old cripple." Cuddy smirked, Remy had always pretended to dislike House but inside Cuddy knew she had a soft spot for him.
"Well I know one thing, Lisa needs us right now. We need to be here for her now more than ever."
Amber's voice was strong and Cuddy knew that she could count on her friends. She just didn't know if her friends alone were able to hold her together.
Cuddy walked into the kitchen and smiled.
"Hey guys." She said before grabbing a piece of pizza and going to her fridge to get a beer. She turned around and looked at her silent friends.
"What?" She asked looking down at herself. "Is there something in my teeth?"
Cameron stood up and walked across the kitchen to her close friend. She grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. Cuddy stood still, not hugging back. Once Cameron pulled away, Cuddy noticed the tears in the younger woman's eyes.
"What's going on?" She asked looking around the room at her coworkers and friends.
"Nothing." The all replied at once. Cuddy shook her head, curious but too mentally weak to figure out what was happening.
"Let's play a drinking game." Cuddy suggested, trying to break the silence.
The three other women nodded their heads and smiled widely, excited to do something other than mourn. Wilson shook his head.
"I have to go into work early tomorrow, but if you need anything-"Amber cut him off.
"We'll call. Goodnight babe." Amber kissed Wilson on the cheek and Cuddy's mind began to twirl with memories.
FLASHBACK:
She had found him at the park. Slowly she walked up behind him, careful not to make a sound and let him know she was there.
"Cuddy, Why are you here?" He mumbled and pulled out his orange bottle of Vicodin.
"That obvious huh?" She asked sitting beside him on the wooden picnic table.
"I smelled you." He replied popping 2 pills and placing the bottle back safely into his jacket pocket.
Cuddy lifted her brow, amused.
"You smelled me?"
House smirked at her.
"Did I st-st-stutter?" Cuddy snorted and looked at him out from the corner of her eye.
"You always smell like a mix of Jamaican blend coffee, and some kind of expensive and erotic perfume. It's just…you."
Cuddy nodded.
"I like it." House said smiling at her while leaning in and placing a quick kiss on her cheek, his lips were gone the second they landed but from a touch that small from his lips Cuddy was already hooked.
"Me too." She whispered before grabbing the collar of his jacket and pulling him in for another more passionate kiss.
END FLASHBACK:
"Cuddy, Cuddy, Are you alright?" Cuddy looked up to see Remy close to her face looking concerned.
"Oh, I'm fine, sorry." She said running a hand through her tangled hair.
"What were we talking about again?" Cuddy asked looking at three of her closest friends.
"We asked you what you wanted for your birthday." Amber said smiling.
I want my husband. Cuddy thought silently while taking a drink of beer.
"You can't always get what you want." Her conscious, which annoyingly sounded like her crippled husband stated.