Author's note: This is from Spock Prime's POV. This completes the story, and I hope you've enjoyed it. To those of you who have read it, thank you so much. Feedback, as always, is welcome and appreciated.
Five weeks after he had received the first message from his younger counterpart, Spock sat in one of the colony's single occupant shuttles, gazing out the viewport at the magenta and azure-hued clouds of gas that made up the Mutara Nebula. He had thought to never see this place again, except in his darkest dreams.
He had died here, once, in his universe. The Enterprise had been crippled in battle, the warp engine mains knocked offline, and Khan had enabled the Genesis Device to be used as a weapon to wipe them all from existence. They all would have died there had he done nothing. He knew that he alone could withstand the intense radiation in the reactor chamber long enough to bring the mains back online and get them to a safe distance. He also knew that it would kill him. But he had been the captain of the Enterprise: it was his responsibility to ensure the safety and lives of his crew, even at the cost of his own. His sacrifice would buy their lives. It was not really so high a price to pay, not when you thought about it…
Sometimes, in his dreams, he was back in the chamber again, the corrosive ache of radiation gnawing at his bones once more. He could hear McCoy and Scott pounding fiercely on the other side of the transparent aluminum wall, pleading with him to get out before it was too late… He made a small noise of dismay and shook his head, chasing the memories away. That had happened, quite literally, in another life.
Spock gazed out at the nebula again, drawn by its beauty and its mystery. Deep inside those magnificent swirls of color, hidden away from view, gas clouds were condensing and collapsing, forming new stars, new worlds, and possibly new life. The Enterprise had been assigned here to observe the process first-hand and to test a new sensor array that might make navigating emission nebulas such as this one easier. When he had learned three weeks ago that this was where he would rendezvous with the ship, he had almost laughed. True, he had died at Mutara, but he had also been reborn there as well, his damaged body reformed healthy and whole by the Genesis wave. Life would come from here again, only this time instead of being his life, it would be life that came from him. The irony of the situation did not escape him.
Spock checked the chronometer, although his internal time sense told him he had 1.37 minutes before the Enterprise was due to arrive. He permitted himself a small, private smile. It had been a long time since he had seen the ship and her crew, and it would be good to see them again, even if they too had been altered by this universe.
Nothing registered on his instruments, which was to be expected. The emissions from the nebula played havoc with sensors, but this was the appointed place and the appointed time… Spock looked out again at the nebula in front of him. All appeared normal, but then he noticed a small increase in the internal luminosity of the cloud, just above and to the left of his direct line of sight. The glow was diffuse at first, but over the passing seconds resolved itself into several distinct points of light. He felt his heartbeat increase and his breath quicken as the points shrank and brightened from pale pink to white in a pattern very similar to a starship's running lights. His breath caught as the cloud began to swell and bulge, then parted to reveal the emerging edge of a silvery-white disk, followed by twin nacelles… He watched as the Enterprise slowly glided from the clinging veil of the nebula and gracefully came to rest five hundred meters off his port bow. He looked at the ship and felt a surge of joy he didn't bother to suppress. She was beautiful, simply beautiful.
The subspace static that had been his lone companion while he awaited the arrival of the Enterprise crackled and broke as he was signaled by the ship. Clear and strong, he heard Lieutenant Uhura's voice over the comm, giving the standard ship-to-ship hail. He allowed himself a small sigh at the sound of her voice. How he had missed his friends! Today he would see them all again, as they had been in their youth. A part of him longed to look into their bright faces once more and remember the days when they had served together. But another part of him ached at the thought, because these weren't really the same people he had known and cherished. Those people were dead and gone, lost to him either through the passage of time or through his journey into this universe. To remain in the presence of their doubles for too long would be to dwell on what was past, and nothing fruitful could be gained from that pursuit.
The hail came again, stirring Spock from his thoughts. He answered and received docking permission and instructions. Quickly he maneuvered behind the ship, taking in the sight of the subtle curves that graced her form, a contrast to the sharp, clean lines of his Enterprise. He guided his tiny shuttle into the hangar bay, noting that it was much larger on this ship than it had been on his. As Spock donned his formal travelling robe and powered down the engines, he wondered what other differences he would observe.
When he disembarked from the shuttle, he found the command staff, attired in dress uniform, waiting in a neat line for him. An honor guard was also in attendance, granting him the formal welcome of an honored dignitary. Déjà vu struck him as he descended the ramp. Once he had been the one standing in dress uniform, awaiting the arrival of a Vulcan ambassador. That ambassador had been his father, and Sarek had ignored him, just as he had for the previous eighteen years. Spock had hidden the pain of the rebuff, but he had not denied that he had felt it.
He took all of them in as he approached, noting that they were not ordered by rank as they typically would be. Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy stood side by side, their heads bowed together as they quietly conferred. Next to the doctor stood Commander Spock, who looked completely at ease standing in the middle of the hangar bay in dress uniform. He wondered if his alter felt as nervous as he did… Lieutenant Uhura stood beside the commander, bringing up the end of the line.
As Spock came to stand in front of Kirk, McCoy moved back and he noticed that one of the doctor's hands was tucked behind his back, most likely already spread in the formal Vulcan greeting of the ta'al. He had never been able to get it quite right…
"Ambassador," Kirk said with a warm smile, "it is a pleasure to welcome you aboard the Enterprise." Spock couldn't help but notice the dark circles under Kirk's eyes and immediately he was concerned for the young captain. Kirk had taken command of the ship at a much younger age than in his own timeline, and it appeared the stresses were taking their toll. He would have to speak with him before he left and see what, if anything, he could do to help his old friend.
"It is a pleasure to be here, Captain Kirk," he replied honestly. The captain flashed a wide smile at him as he inclined his head towards the rest of the officers lined up to greet him.
"May I introduce a few members of my crew?" Kirk said, his tone light. Spock lifted an eyebrow at the captain, silently acknowledging the joke, and began to walk down the line of officers.
Beside the captain, McCoy pulled at his stiff satin dress collar with one hand, looking every bit as uncomfortable as he had all those years and a universe ago. As he came to stand in front of the doctor, McCoy's hidden hand shot from behind his back, his fingers painfully spread in a close approximation of the Vulcan salute. It would have been an almost perfect greeting had it not been for the grin plastered across the doctor's face.
"Live long and prosper, Ambassador," McCoy drawled in halting Vulcan, drawing a surprised look from Kirk.
"Peace and long life, Doctor McCoy," he replied in Vulcan, returning the gesture. "I thank you for greeting me in my native tongue. I am honored."
"Uh, what?" McCoy said, reverting back to Standard. Looking a little lost and apologetic, he hooked a thumb towards the young Vulcan standing next to him. "Begging your pardon, sir, but he only taught me that bit. So you'll have to speak in Standard or I'm gonna think you've got something caught in your throat."
"That's what you get for showing off, Bones," Kirk murmured under his breath.
"I was just trying to be polite and show the proper respect, Jim!" McCoy said as he turned to glare at the captain.
The Ambassador caught sight of Uhura looking down at the deck, trying her best to hide the smile blooming across her face and failing. Kirk didn't even attempt to conceal his smirk.
"I should have known you were settin' me up," McCoy grumbled at the younger Vulcan, who merely regarded the doctor with a raised eyebrow before he looked away.
Spock felt a pang of nostalgia then, watching these younger versions of himself and his friends interact. The familiar pattern of feuding between the younger Spock and this universe's McCoy pulled at him the most. He had enjoyed their endless rounds of verbal thrust and parry, and he missed them. What he would give for another round with the doctor just one more time…
In front of him, the younger Vulcan raised his hand in greeting, which he returned in kind.
"Greetings, Ambassador Selek," his counterpart said in Standard, using the name he had adopted when he had joined the Vulcans, "The colony honors us with your presence. We come to serve."
The words were almost the exact same ones he had spoken to his father so long ago, and they struck him like a dagger to the heart. He must make certain that this Spock and Sarek never fell into the same pattern of bitter silence that had claimed the relationship between him and his father. He would spare them both that pain.
"The honor is mine, Commander Spock," he replied. "But I believe you are mistaken. It is I that comes to serve."
The commander nodded ever so slightly in acknowledgement, and Spock moved down the line to speak with Lieutenant Uhura.
This was a difference: Uhura had rarely attended formal greetings for dignitaries. Perhaps the protocol was different here, or maybe she held another position in this universe. Whatever the reason, he was glad to see her. They had been good friends for many years.
"Welcome to the Enterprise, Ambassador Selek," she said, her voice music to his ears.
"Thank you, Lieutenant Uhura," he answered. "I am pleased to be here." He gave her a nod and allowed the tiniest hint of a smile to touch his lips. She smiled back in response and cast a sideways glance at the commander standing next to her. His alter glanced at her with minimal movement of his head, and he thought that Uhura's playful smile also looked a little smug…
"Guards dismissed," he heard Kirk say behind him to the security team, and he turned to watch as they filed out. There were some familiar faces in the line- Leslie, Combs, Patel, Duran- along with ones unfamiliar to him, including a Deltan and an Andorian. As the last of the guards exited the hangar bay and the doors swished shut, he heard McCoy clear his throat in a blatant attempt to gain his attention. He turned and regarded the doctor openly.
"So, Ambassador, do you want the grand tour that Jim's itchin' to give you first, or should we head down to Sickbay?" Spock watched as the doctor tugged at the stiff dress collar, obviously ready to get out of his dress uniform.
"I would like to speak with the Ambassador for a moment, Doctor," the younger Spock interrupted, "if you do not mind."
McCoy made a dismissive sound and shrugged. "Sure, Spock. I figure you're kind of holdin' the trump card here, so go ahead." He turned and motioned for the others to follow suit. Kirk readily joined him, Uhura trailing a few steps behind.
"Ambassador," the younger Vulcan said in their native tongue, hands going behind his back.
"Commander," he replied, adopting the same posture. "What did you wish to discuss?"
"I would ask why you abstained from the vote regarding my inclusion in the breeding program," his counterpart stated bluntly, his body language tense. "In all other instances, you cast a negative vote. Why did you not continue to do so?"
"I abstained in your case because I do not wish to interfere in your life," the ambassador replied. "Were I to cast a vote either way, I feel I would have been making a decision regarding you and your affairs, something I have avoided whenever possible."
Spock watched as the younger Vulcan frowned slightly and nodded as he considered his words. His posture had even relaxed a little. An eyebrow lifted on his alter's face and he gazed directly at him.
"You almost make it sound like you are following some variant of the Prime Directive in regards to me," the commander said thoughtfully.
Now it was Spock's turn to frown and nod as he considered.
"Essentially, that is correct," he replied. "You need to be allowed to live your life unhindered by the experiences I had in mine. This is the primary reason I do not contact you often."
"An admirable goal. I commend you for it."
Spock bowed his head slightly in acceptance of the compliment. "Were there other things you wished to discuss, Commander?"
"Negative," his counterpart replied. "Except … I would like to express my gratitude to you for undertaking this action on my behalf."
"One does not thank logic, Spock," he murmured softly. "However, you are welcome."
Far behind them, McCoy was complaining loudly about the discomfort that his dress uniform was causing him. Spock watched as his alter cast a quick glance over his shoulder at the doctor and then turned back to look at him. "Perhaps it would be best if we went to Sickbay before Doctor McCoy becomes even more disagreeable. I would be willing to escort you, if you so desire."
"Not just yet, Commander," he said. "While we have this unique opportunity, I would speak with you about a certain subject. I do not wish to meddle in your life, but there is something you should know." This next part was not going to be easy…
"I am aware," he continued, "that your parents did not choose a bondmate for you in your youth."
Spock watched as his counterpart straightened, a sign that he was uncomfortable with the subject matter. It had been a delicate subject for him as well when he was young, but it had to be discussed.
"When your Time comes," he continued, regardless of the other's discomfort, "do not wait. Pon farr does not ease if you attempt to ignore its presence or delay its onset."
His counterpart looked frozen to the spot. The Vulcan mask was firmly in place, but behind it the younger Spock's eyes showed surprise and a hint of fear. Had he ever been this easy to read? Undoubtedly. Perhaps even more so.
"I take it from your words that you have experienced pon farr?" his alter finally asked.
"I have," Spock answered honestly. "Many times, in fact."
"I… see. That we should be subservient to the ancient drives is… regrettable. I had hoped my Human heritage would spare me this. Apparently, this is not be the case."
"I too had hoped to be spared," Spock said gently to his younger counterpart. "But I was not. As we are genetically the same being, it is only logical to presume that you will also experience it. When you feel its onset, do not hesitate. Take a mate, even if only for a temporary liaison. You may find that it can actually be quite… pleasant."
The younger Vulcan opened his mouth to speak, but closed it before uttering a sound, a look of confusion briefly crossing his features. Spock watched as the commander cast a quick glance over his shoulder in the direction of his assembled crewmates, noting that Uhura had turned around to look at them. Indeed, he realized that she had been standing in such a position that she could casually observe them the entire time. And now she and the commander were looking at one another. She made a move to leave the company of her comrades and join them, but the other Spock barely raised his hand and she held her place, slowly turning back around to face her companions but keeping the two of them in her peripheral vision.
Why had the younger Spock looked at her when he mentioned pon farr and finding a mate? And why had she been watching them- no, not them, but the younger Spock- the entire time? Was it possible that these alternate versions of himself and the lieutenant were engaged in a romantic relationship? Both of his brows shot upwards at the thought and he almost smiled. If so, then perhaps his counterpart would not have to worry too much about pon farr after all…
"May I inquire as to the nature of the relationship between you and the lieutenant?" Spock asked, genuinely curious.
The commander turned around and pulled himself up again, almost seeming to bristle at the inquiry, as though a rival was encroaching on his territory.
"I have no comment on the matter," he replied. Spock looked at the younger Vulcan, noting the challenge in his eyes, and then he did smile at him. Not that a Human would have called it a smile, more a softening of the facial features, but the Vulcan in front of him clearly recognized it as such and reacted by becoming even more stolid.
"Your lack of comment has told me all I need to know," he quipped. He would have said more, but at that moment McCoy began to approach them, the others falling into place behind him.
"Hey, Spock," the doctor called out as he crossed the distance, "if you're done talking to yourself, I kind of need to… ah…" McCoy faltered, looking back and forth between the two of them, a bewildered expression on his face. "Oh hell. This is downright weird. You, Ambassador," he said, pointing a finger at him, "I need you in Sickbay. Now if you'll come with me, please."
Amidst the light laughter from the small group, the Ambassador spared a final look at his younger counterpart. But he was already moving off to join Lieutenant Uhura, who stood almost a meter back from the rest of the party. Spock watched as she reached out and briefly touched the younger Vulcan. It was no more than the slightest brush of her fingertips against his sleeve, but it was a gesture that spoke of intimacy and familiarity. In his own timeline, the lieutenant had rarely touched him, and only then when he had been in some kind of distress. He watched as his younger self turned his head to her, his softened gaze meeting hers.
Spock knew well how he behaved when he was in love. He knew the signs. The body language, the mannerisms, the liberties he would permit that under other circumstances would be all but forbidden. He saw those signs now, between the commander and the lieutenant. It was fascinating to view them as an outside observer.
And now he understood exactly why this Spock did not wish to comply with the order. Most of the Vulcans that had declined had done so because they were required to breed outside of the bond with their mate. Watching this younger version of himself with the lieutenant, he understood that this Spock had already found a mate, one who accepted him just as he was. This Spock had not been bound to T'Pring as a child: he had been free to choose a partner on his own, an option he had been denied. And even after he was freed, he had not availed himself of the opportunity to take a bondmate. He had lived without that opportunity for so long that it had become second nature for him to be alone.
"Please tell me you two weren't that bad in your day," the doctor said as the doors slid aside and they walked out into the corridor.
"No, we were not," he replied honestly. He did not mention that he and Uhura had only been friends, and now he found himself regretting that they had never shared anything more.
Spock found his thoughts drifting to the apparent relationship between the Spock and Uhura of this universe. It was clear to him now what he could have had, and that he had been a fool. He was simultaneously pleased and jealous, neither of which did he try to suppress. Silently, he wished them luck as the turbolift opened across from Sickbay.
McCoy showed him to a diagnostic bed in the privacy of the currently empty intensive care unit while he went to change out of dress uniform in his office. He lay back on the bed and listened as the panels blossomed to life above him. Barely a minute had passed before McCoy returned, back in uniform, smoothing down his rumpled hair with one hand while he carried a tray with various medical instruments and several hypos in the other. Three hypos lay side by side, while a fourth was placed on the other side of the tray, far apart from the others.
Spock watched as the doctor took a number of detailed readings. After several minutes of noncommittal grunts from the physician, McCoy finally commented.
"I can see you've been taking those supplements like I asked you to," McCoy said as he picked up a hypo from a tray and held it up for him to see.
"Now this one will help disguise the fact that the sample is coming from a subject somewhat older than the one the Vulcans are expecting. Hopefully those arrogant bastards will chalk up some of these differences to the fact that our commander is a hybrid and that he's just as tainted as they always thought."
Spock watched as the doctor replaced the first hypo on the tray and retrieved a second one.
"This one will help make up for the lowered sperm count. Yes, you've been taking supplements to help with that, but this will help even more. I figure as long as we can give them at least one vial, then they can just shut the hell up. They oughta be glad he didn't pull his stubborn as a mule routine and flat out refuse like he originally wanted to. Jim thought he should fight the order in court, but Spock said he didn't want to go through all the appeals. Can't say I blame him there."
"And last but not least," McCoy said as he held up a third hypo, "this little baby just plain makes you feel good. Now this won't hurt. Much."
The ambassador closed his eyes as McCoy discharged the contents of the first hypo against his arm. No sooner had the hypo been pulled away than he heard the door swish open, accompanied by the sound of two sets of booted footsteps.
He looked up to see Kirk and his counterpart enter the room, both of them back in standard uniform. The younger Spock immediately went to lie down on the biobed next to his and Kirk came over to stand next to McCoy, who had not yet left his side. He looked up at the captain, who was studying the readouts on the panel with the doctor.
"Everything look okay, Bones?" Kirk asked and received a nod in reply.
"Yep, Jim, he's fit as a fiddle," McCoy said. "There's no reason the Ambassador can't go for a swim in the gene pool."
Spock watched as McCoy moved to the other biobed. Beside him, Kirk looked down and placed a hand on his shoulder and a hip on his bed. Spock took in the captain's wide, tired smile and again he felt concern for the young Human.
"Thank you for doing this in his place," Kirk said quietly, motioning in the direction of the younger Spock with a brief tilt of his head. "It means a lot to him. Not that he'd ever tell you or anything…"
"He had very logical reasons why I should be the one to contribute in his stead," Spock said, enjoying the feeling of Kirk's hand on his shoulder. So many times in the past Kirk had rested his hand there, in an unasked for gesture of comfort or solidarity, one friend lending support to another.
But Kirk was getting up, removing his hand as he swung his legs off the bed and onto the floor, a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"So, he had logical reasons for cheating, hmm?" Kirk teased. "Why that's … fascinating!" Spock rolled his head on the pillow and watched as the captain walked over to the commander's bedside.
"Well, whaddya know? Not only did you cheat, you got someone else to do it for you. And it was the logical thing to do. Damn, but you're good!" Kirk chuckled and patted the other Vulcan on the shoulder before he moved towards the door.
"Let me know when you're done with them, Bones," Kirk said, pausing just outside of
sensor range of the door. "I want to show the Ambassador around." And then Kirk turned,
walked through the opening door, and was gone.
"Everything looks good so far," McCoy said him as he looked up at the biomonitor above his bed. "Ready for the next one?"
"Of course, Doctor," Spock replied. Almost immediately the second hypo was discharged against his arm. McCoy put the emptied hypo back down on the tray, retrieved the one that had been separated from the others, and headed over to the commander's bedside.
"I believe you are overdue for your contraceptive shot, First Officer Spock," McCoy drawled. "You ready to rectify that?"
"That is an illogical query, Doctor, as I would not otherwise be here."
"Last time I waste my bedside manner on an unappreciative Vulcan," the doctor grumbled as he placed the hypo against the younger Spock's neck.
"Such restraint in the future would be appreciated," Spock's alter said as the contents of the hypo were discharged. McCoy walked back to the Ambassador's bedside, dropped the empty hypo on the tray, and picked up the last one.
"Now tell me honestly, Ambassador, did you give your Doctor McCoy this much shit?" McCoy teased as looked at the readings again.
"I merely stated facts, Doctor McCoy," Spock replied, noting that the younger Vulcan was now sitting up on his biobed and rubbing at the side of his neck, a look of mild discomfort on his face.
McCoy shook his head and sighed. "That means 'yes'. Here I am, trapped in here with two Spocks! And me just a poor old country doctor…"
"I'm not letting the two of you gang up on me," McCoy said to the younger Spock, "so that means one of you has to get out of here. Since you're done and just taking up bedspace needed for sick people, you need to get out of here. Go on, now! Shoo!"
"Thank you, Doctor," the commander said, one eyebrow rising in amusement. Spock watched as his counterpart neatly slid off the bed, landed on his feet, and made his way out the door.
"Okay, looks like you're ready," McCoy said. "How about we get this out of the way, hmm?"
"I couldn't agree more," Spock murmured, ready and willing to contribute to the survival of his species.
Two hours later, Spock was finishing up the tour of the Enterprise with Captain Kirk. They had covered the ship from stem to stern, and while much of it was familiar to the Ambassador, other portions were completely foreign. The changes in Engineering fascinated him, and the Bridge was much larger and brighter than the one he had served on. However, despite the differences, the Enterprise was essentially still the same ship.
Finally, they arrived at the Observation Lounge and the end of the tour. Outside the thick bulkheads of transparent aluminum, the Mutara Nebula swirled around them like an ocean of fuchsia and cerulean ink. Spock paused at one of the viewports to gaze out at the nebula, Kirk by his side. He shifted his gaze from the nebula to the Human's reflection. The captain appeared haggard and uneasy, and Spock was about to inquire as to what was upsetting him when Kirk spoke.
"Spock…" Kirk began, then looked around as though uncertain how to proceed. Spock turned to look at the young captain, watching as the Human ran a nervous hand over his hair and sighed, then pursed his lips as though considering what to say. To Spock, the captain looked scared, something he had rarely seen.
"Does something happen here, in the Mutara Nebula?" Kirk finally blurted. "I've been anxious since we got here two weeks ago. I haven't slept worth a damn, and I can't shake this feeling of… of… dread, like we're in some kind of danger here. Spock, I don't like asking you this, but does something happen here that I can avoid?"
Spock regarded the young counterpart of the friend that had known him so well in his own universe. This young man, burdened with so much responsibility, so much weight on his shoulders… and now this. Somehow, he had picked up on part of what had taken place here. Kirk could have only come by that knowledge from him, and only from the brief meld they had shared on Delta Vega.
He had sought to impart what he knew about Nero and the destruction of Romulus, but somehow Kirk had garnered this stray fragment of information as well. It should not surprise him. Nero was his Khan, the one so bent on vengeance against him that nothing except death would stop him. Nero would haunt his dreams and memories until he joined with the All, just as he knew the phantom of Khan had never stopped stalking Kirk in his sleep. Spock had realized that while standing on the icy plains of Delta Vega, watching helplessly as Vulcan vanished forever from the sky. He must have inadvertently transferred that thought, that feeling, to Kirk, and now the young man was suffering because of it.
Spock considered carefully what to say. He could say nothing and allow events to unfold as they had in his universe. It was quite possible that the crew of this Enterprise would never encounter Khan. But if they did and Kirk marooned him out of pity again, would this Khan also come looking for revenge? And would this Spock have to make the same decision he had made, to step into the reactor chamber and lay down his life so that others might live?
But things could not be the same here, even if those events occurred exactly as they had in his universe, without even the slightest deviation. Spock was certain that his counterpart would not place his katra in McCoy. He had only done so as a split-second decision, knowing that it would be extracted from the doctor at Mount Seleya. But Mount Seleya and the priestesses who resided there were gone, lost when Vulcan was destroyed. With that avenue closed, the other Spock would perish in the chamber, and his katra would be lost along with his life.
"Jim," he said at last, "it is possible that you will encounter an individual who identifies himself as Khan." Spock paused, choosing his next words carefully.
"If you meet Khan Noonien Singh, I would implore you not to show him the leniency or the mercy to which you may be inclined. In my universe, you did, and many innocent lives were lost. To prevent those deaths, you must not let him live if you find him. Kill him and those with him, as well as those that would join with them. To do anything less sows the seeds of sorrow."
"Oh god," Kirk whispered, his eyes closing as he gripped the rail in front of him and briefly bowed his head under the weight of Spock's words. Almost immediately, however, Kirk looked back up and turned to face him, determination evident in his eyes.
"Are you sure there's no other way?" Kirk asked quietly. "I mean, what if I marooned him somewhere without a ship, or-"
"No, Jim," Spock interrupted. "I do not believe there is any other choice, which I genuinely regret. You wished to know what happened here, at the Mutara Nebula? We fought Khan. Many members of the crew died … and I died with them."
Kirk stared at him in stunned silence, anguish written all over his face.
"You … died … here? Then how is it that you're here, if you died?"
"Through an unforeseen side effect of a device that has not yet been invented and an ancient Vulcan technique that perished with our planet," he answered. "Jim, I do not task you with this lightly, but if you do encounter Khan, it must be done. He must die."
Kirk looked away again, appearing to stare into the nebula, but Spock knew that he was focused inward instead, working on the problem and trying to find another solution.
"I have to think about this and it's going to take some time," Kirk murmured. "I can't just do this because you said it needs to be done. I'm sure you can understand that."
Spock glanced over at the young Human by his side, recalling a time when he had pronounced the need for someone else to die to serve the greater good. Kirk had been in love with Edith Keeler, but in the end he realized her death would save millions. The captain looked as haunted now as he had then, and Spock hated to do this to him. But there was no other solution that he could see.
"I would expect no less, Captain," Spock said. "Whenever possible, you always weighed all the options open to you and never operated on blind faith."
Kirk turned to look at him then, the ghost of a smile playing about his lips. "It sounds like there's hope for me yet," he said. Spock recognized the attempt at humor as a way for Kirk to ease his tensions. He favored the Human with a thoughtful frown and nodded.
"Indeed," he replied. He was about to say more, but a shrill whistle from the comm drew their attention. Together they made their way to the comm, which Kirk answered.
"McCoy here," the doctor's voice said. "I've got a package ready for transport for the Ambassador. Do the two of you want to come here and pick it up, or should I come deliver it to you?" Kirk cast a glance in his direction, silently asking him to decide.
"I would prefer to meet us in the shuttlecraft bay, Doctor," Spock said.
"Of course," McCoy replied. "Meet you there in five minutes. McCoy out."
As they turned from the comm and the view of the nebula outside the window and headed for the turbolift, Kirk cleared his throat. Spock turned to look at him as they walked.
"While you're warning me about things I need to avoid," Kirk asked a little hesitantly, "is there anything else I need to know about? Any wars I need to prevent, plagues I need to cure?"
Spock considered what to say. He could warn them about the Borg, maybe even circumvent the Dominion War… But what if by speaking about these things, he hastened them instead? The Federation had barely survived those horrors, and that was with 24th century technology. If he brought them into those conflicts sooner, many more billions might perish through death or assimilation than would have if he had remained silent. Sometimes having foreknowledge of certain events was a terrible burden.
Spock shook his head in the negative. Now was not the time to speak about what might lie ahead. He needed to consider and weigh the possible consequences before he spoke. When he arrived back at the colony, he would discuss this in depth with T'Pol. She was often able to see things he could not, and he found her perspective to be most insightful.
When they arrived at the shuttlecraft bay, they found McCoy waiting for them by Spock's shuttle, a small pouch in his hands. The doctor bounced lightly on his heels and smiled at them.
"Here you go, Ambassador," McCoy said as he held the pouch out to Spock. The Vulcan took the pouch and opened it, noting that it bore two specimen vials, of which only one was filled.
"I wish to thank you for all your help, Doctor. I believe this would not have been possible without your assistance."
McCoy made a small, dismissive noise and shrugged. "I'm just doin' my job," he said. "Now if you gentlemen will pardon me, I need to get back to Sickbay. A pleasure meeting you, Ambassador."
"It was a pleasure seeing you again… Bones," Spock replied, watching as the doctor's eyebrows rose and he swallowed uncomfortably. McCoy looked as though he was going to speak, then thought better of it and beat a hasty retreat towards the exit.
"I think you liked doing that to him," Kirk said lightly as the doors slid shut behind McCoy. "As a matter of fact, I think you've always doing that. Am I right, Spock?"
"I do not believe I am liberty to discuss such matters, Captain," Spock replied, the Vulcan mask firmly in place.
Kirk laughed and patted him on the shoulder once again.
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," the Human said as he turned to face him in farewell. Instead of giving Spock the Vulcan salute, Kirk extended his hand. Spock took his hand in his and shook it in the Human manner for several seconds before Kirk loosened his grip. Spock did the same and let his hand return to his side.
"Be well, Spock," Kirk said with a smile.
"I shall endeavor to do so. Please do the same, Jim."
Kirk nodded and walked a few paces away, giving him his own form of leave. Spock turned and entered his shuttle, where he began the automatic power-up procedures. While the shuttle's engines cycled back into active mode, he removed his formal travelling robe and opened the small stasis chamber placed in the aft section of the small shuttle. Inside the container, a dozen small tubes were carefully nestled in protective packaging, each of them neatly labeled as to who had provided the material and when and where it had been acquired. There was more than one Vulcan who had agreed to contribute to the reproduction of the species but had not agreed to join the colony. Two empty slots remained, and he filled one of them with the latest sample, leaving the last one vacant. It seemed somehow fitting.
As he powered up and left the Enterprise and glided through the Mutara Nebula, Spock considered his next course of action. There were still other things for him to do in this universe besides help his people. He had found the colony world, and he was making a genetic contribution to the continued survival of their species as well. Children would come from his body now, something he thought would never happen. Within a year's time, if all went well, he would actually get to hold an infant he had fathered, a brand new living being that could not have been created without his help. He felt his heart race increase in anticipation of the event, eager to assist in any way possible. And while he had some small experience raising a child, he had not been Saavik's biological father, as much as he had wished to be.
Spock closed his eyes and sighed. Saavik.
Was she in this universe? In his timeline, the Romulan Tal'Shiar had captured Vulcans and imprisoned them on a desolate planet codenamed Hellguard. They had tortured and forced their Vulcan captives to breed with them as part of an experiment to infiltrate the Federation. The experiment had ultimately failed, the few Vulcans who had survived the experience had been murdered, and the resulting Vulcan/Romulan offspring had been abandoned and left to die, Saavik among them. If the Romulans had done the same here, then there were other Vulcans survivors, and he must find them.
She would only be an infant now, but Spock clearly recalled the first time he had seen her. She had stared at him from the edge of the fire, too afraid to come any closer but too curious to run and hide like the other children. She was starved, naked, and filthy like the others, but there had been the undeniable gleam of intelligence in her eyes. He had left an opened ration bar for her and watched as she devoured it in a matter of seconds and disappeared back into the night. He had known then that he must save her and the others like her, no matter what it took.
He had to discover if the Romulans had done the same in this timeline. If so, he must find their victims- the children and the captured Vulcans alike- and bring them to the colony. There was no one else to do it, and if he did nothing they would suffer and perish. He had seen enough of that to last a lifetime.
Spock looked out at the stars as he exited the nebula and sped towards the colony on autopilot. "I will find you, Saavik-kam," he whispered to the eternal night. He could do no less.
There was more to being a member of an endangered species than mere procreation, Spock mused as he engaged the shuttle's warp engines. Those that still lived needed to be protected, by any means necessary. If it meant charging Kirk with the duty of killing Khan to save his counterpart in this universe, then so be it. He could only do so much on his own. He had to help his people in their quest for survival at the same time as he searched for Saavik and the others that had been left for dead on Hellguard. None of what lay ahead would be easy for his people to deal with, but they would have to adapt if they were to survive. Some of the acts the Vulcans would have to engage in would be ones of sheer desperation, but there was little else left to an endangered species. It was the only logical course left open to them. Spock only hoped it would be enough.