Zen and Reconciliation
Nefertiri's Handmaiden
Disclaimer: I don't own Superman, and I'm too lazy to come up with a disclaimer more flashy than that.
Summary: The first time Superman actually had a real conversation with Richard White outside of "Do you have them?" and "She'll be fine" was through the second-story window of the house he shared with Lois.
Note: Part II, Chapter 4 of a multi-parted story following Lois and Clark making their way back to something like they were before - only different.
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Part II: Building Bridges
Chapter 4: Fathers
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The first time Superman actually had a real conversation with Richard White outside of "Do you have them?" and "She'll be fine" was through the second-story window of the house he shared with Lois.
Richard opened the window to his study at about six o'clock in the evening, even though it was freezing outside. Hopefully, Superman could take a hint. At nine-thirty, Richard was still sitting his leather armchair, staring at a novel, waiting. He hadn't flipped the page in about forty-five minutes and his tired eyes saw the words on the page as out of focus and blurry. Then there was a tap at the window frame. His eyes snapped up. There, framed by the curtains Lois had picked out, floated a man in a red cape. Richard took a deep breath and stood.
"Hello," he said.
"Hello," responded Superman, waiting for Richard to make the first move. Richard wasn't sure if this was polite or strategic.
"Lois told me."
Superman inclined his head. "She told me she would. Before you say anything, I want to thank you for being there when I wasn't. I recognize that your right to Jason exceeds mine. You are his father in a way I can never hope to be, and that's my own fault. I can only hope you'll give me the chance to be there for him now."
Richard blinked in surprise. "Well. I hadn't expected you to be quite so understanding."
Superman smiled. "I was raised by a man other than my biological father."
"You were?"
"My biological father died when Krypton did. I was raised by a human man. He was the best man I have ever known."
"Well… I had this whole angry speech ready. I - uh - guess it's not really necessary, now."
Superman grinned again. "If it would make you feel better to give it, I'm sure I probably deserve it."
Richard cocked his head thoughtfully. "You aren't nearly as stuck-up as I thought you would be."
"Well," said Superman seriously. "I messed up. I can't deny it."
Richard didn't know what to say to that.
Suddenly, Superman's head cranked to the right, and he looked out toward the city. "If that's all, I kind of need to…"
"Oh, please," said Richard. "Go do what you need to do."
Superman nodded. "We'll speak again soon." And then, with a whoosh, he was gone. Richard sank back down into his chair and looked out the window.
--
A week and a half later, Clark gently pulled his son's window open. Jason was snug in his bed, carefully tucked in. Clark wondered if it had been Richard or Lois who'd made sure his son's covers were warm around him. He felt a rush of jealousy and a pang of want. There was nothing he wanted more than to be the one to tuck Jason in at night.
But he'd lost that right when he'd run away to Krypton to escape the pain of losing Lois again. That had been weak, he realized now. It had been cowardly. It would have shamed his father - both of his fathers.
He smoothed back his son's hair and then stepped back into the shadow of the wall to watch his little boy sleep, a small smile playing across his chiseled features. This was a kind of love he'd never known before. This tie with his son - it couldn't be broken. Their blood was the same. No one - not even Richard - could change the fact that this little boy existed because of Clark.
There was a flood of light across Jason's bed from the hall as the door to his room opened. Clark didn't move. Richard stepped into the room, closing the door behind him most of the way. He stepped up to the bed and adjusted Jason's covers. Clark watched without speaking. When Richard turned to leave, he caught sight of the man in the shadows, and stilled a moment before he realized who it was. Then a look of understanding crossed his features. Clark inclined his head. Richard motioned to the hall and Clark followed him out.
Gently, he closed Jason's door behind him and turned to face Richard. The other man had his arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face. In that moment, he reminded Clark of someone, but Clark couldn't pinpoint who.
"You come here often?" asked Richard, speaking softly enough that Lois, downstairs in the kitchen, couldn't hear him.
Clark responded just as quietly. "Once in a while, when I have the chance."
Richard jerked his head to indicate Clark should follow him and the two men moved softly down the carpeted hallway to Richard's study. Richard seated himself in a large leather chair, leaving Clark standing awkwardly. "Please, sit down," said Richard, motioning to another chair. Clark sat, aware of how utterly incongruous he looked, red cape and blue tights in the neutral tones of Richard's study. The big red 'S' looked good from the sky, but it was pretty silly here.
Richard leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees. "What is it exactly you want?" he asked, more harsh than when he'd spoken to Clark the last time.
Clark was silent. He had an answer, but he wasn't sure if it was the one he should be giving Richard. When he responded, it wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the whole truth. "It's not about what I want. It's about what's right."
Richard sat back with a huff. "I wish you were easier to hate. I would be within my rights to kick your ass if you were any other guy. But you're Superman. How can I hate Superman?"
Clark thought for a moment and then answered. "At least that's good for Jason."
Richard stared and then started laughing. "That's exactly what I mean." Clark couldn't think of anything to say. So he didn't say anything. When Richard stopped laughing, he stared at Clark. Clark stared back, trying to read Richard. Then Richard sighed and brought a hand to his temple. "I'm always going to be second best, aren't I?"
"Lois made her choice. I'm just the guy in the shadows."
Richard snorted derisively. "The red cape isn't so productive to blending in."
"She picked you."
Richard sighed again. "For now."
Clark leaned forward. "I just want a chance to know Jason. I'm not going to try to get in the way. Lois moved on."
Richard's were sad and wise when he looked at Clark. "No, she hasn't."
Clark didn't dare to hope.