First thing I want to say is I'm so sorry for not updating, I got grounded and yeah...my mom took my computer away...

So without Further a do...

Enjoy~

"The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of."

- Charles Perkhust

"Butters?!"

He didn't say anything, he just kept sobbing into his hands. I touched his shoulder, he jumped back, and I saw his eyes; he's terrified right now. "Butters? Do you want to come in?"

He nodds slowly, rubbing his eyes. When he sits down the first thing I ask is, "Butters...what happened?"

He's still for a moment, my words leaving him temporarily paralyzed. He shakes his head 'no' then starts to cry. My arms wrap around him, on their own it seems. He looks up at my face; I hold him tight. "Butters...", I say for what seems to be the tenth time, "What happened?"

"I told him no." I freeze, Butters has just spoken and the words echo in my body like a church bell.

I start to get serious, grab Butters' shoulders, and stare into his gaze. "Who'd you tell no, and why?"

"I told him no." He says, his eyes tearing up again. "I told him no. I told him no. I told him no, Kenny! Why did he do it anyway?!"

"WHO?!" I yell, he's taken back a little by my screaming, but it's not stopping him. Not by far.

His eyes become so watery he probably can't see properly out of them anymore and cries out, "Clyde! I told Clyde no!"

He grasps my shoulders like he's going to fall off a cliff if he doesn't. His head falls onto my chest and tears start pouring down his face, getting my shirt wet. I'm pissed now. "What the fuck did he do to you?!"

A muffled sob comes from Butters' frail body and he up at me and says, "He..."

I can't take it anymore. His sobbing face is ripping my heart in two. I place my finger over his lips and stop him from saying anymore. "Shh, It's okay. You don't have to say anymore." I embrace him with one arm around his waist, the other in his hair. "It's almost one in the morning. Let's go to sleep, okay?"

He swallows hard and nods slowly. He follows me into my bedroom where we both end up laying in silence; I can't sleep. Neither can he, I can tell by the way he's breathing. The whole situation isn't settling too well with me. I don't like the fact he says it's got something to do with Clyde...What did he do?

- - -

Without realizing it, I must have fallen asleep while basking in my thoughts because it's morning now. Butter is still asleep...either that or he's really good faking it. Last night's events are still haunting me, but I'm trying to on the bright side of things. Well, at least Butters is with me for right now. This much is enough for now.

Butters' breathing begins to get uneven; he awake now. "Butters", I say placing my hand on his head; he jumps a little, but I pay no mind, "Are you okay?"

A shrug comes as his reply, and he turns to look at me and says, "Kenny, I had a nightmare...about last night."

"Really?" I squeak out, I'm still a little worried he's going to burst into tears again. "What happened...If your ready to talk about it, that is."

His face is expressionless as he turns to the ceiling; his arms are folded over his body. "No...I don't mind. I trust ya Kenny." He sighs loudly before he begins. "Well ya see, I went over to Clyde's house 'cause he picked me up from school. I ended up tellin' my parents I was stayin' the night 'cause Clyde's on their list of 'acceptables'...It was gettin' late and Clyde's parents had been gone for a while, and I was gettin' tired so I laid down on his bed and..." He starts to shake like he's going to cry again, but no tears fall or even appear in his beautiful blue eyes. "H-he pinned me down a-and started to-touchin' me. A-at fist it was just my neck and chest but then...Oh Kenny! I feel so disgusting! How can you even stand to look at me?!"

"Butters!" I yell at him. "Don't you ever talk about yourself that way! I can't stand not to look at you!"

His eyes brighten as he looks at me and he says with much enthusiasm, "Really!?"

"Yeah. Butters your amazing no matter what anyone says and no matter what happens, and today I'm gonna kick Clyde's ass for what he did to you! He's gonna missin' limbs when I'm done with him!"

He sits up and looks at me. "Kenny...is that really such a good idea? I mean gee, I know Clyde did those things, but does he deserve his limbs torn off?"

"He deserves his dick torn off for what he did!" I cannot help but be furious, I love Butters a lot more than I should love someone of the same sex. He's the only light in my path to self-destruction, as Emo as that sounds. "I should go to his house right now and kick his sorry ass!"

"Let's start with breakfast, okay?" Butters says, an agreement coming from his stomach.

I'm just about to get up and check my empty kitchen for something to eat when I realize I'm no longer home. My stomach growls, no amount of food the day before could keep this damn thing from grumbling. "Right." I say, stretching out the 'I'. I look over to my wallet, which is sitting on the floor next to my bed (I have no bed frame, so the mattress just sits on the floor) "Well, if memory severs me I probably don't have much on my but...", I grab my wallet from the floor and look inside, "I've got twelve dollars...want to go to McDonald's and get a McGriddle?"

Butters rubs his stomach and says, "That sounds good. Do you have a change of clothes?"

"I think you'll just have to wear those pants again, but I do have a shirt you can wear." I get up and go to my dresser. "It's cold, and I mean really cold so you can wear my parka and I'll wear hoodie."

"But Kenny!" He yells in concerned voice. "You'll freeze without a jacket!"

"I'll be alright", I explain, "I grew up with no heater, I think I'll be fine."

I throw him my parka and black band tee Stan got me at last year's warped tour. I actually hated the tee-shirt. Stan only bought it for me because I couldn't afford a ticket; I punched for him it.

Butters gets up to go to the bathroom and I say dryly, "Butters?" I wait for a nod. "We shower together in gym. I've seen your chest before."

He blushes, gives a quick nod, and says, "R-right."

He slowly unbuttons his shirt and I can't help but feel a little turned on. He looks so innocent and sweet. I just wanna pounce on him, but at the same time I wanna cuddle him like a teddy bear, but I can't do that. Not after what happened. Maybe just a comforting hug...

He's zipping up my parka as I walk towards him. His back is turned away and he doesn't put the hood on like I normally do. He turns around and I embrace him. He blushes and looks up at my face, my eyes are closed and I'm actually fighting tears; I say softly, "I'm sorry."

His innocent curiosity shines as he asks me, "For what?"

My lips and hands and hole body tremble as I tell him, "For not protecting you. I knew he would make you do something you didn't want to and I was too stupid to warn you...I'm so sorry Butters. From now on, I'll always protect you, okay?"

He smiles and returns my hug. "Okay. Kenny is my guardian."

"Now", I say, wiping the tears from my eyes and forcing a smile, "how about that Mcgriddle?"

- - -

When we get our food, Butters is the first to speak, "Kenny?"

"Yeah?"

He's blushing like crazy and I can't help but smile, he's so cute. "I didn't ask out Clyde."

My sandwich falls from my hands and a loud crunching sound comes from the paper beneath on impact. "What?!"

"I-I didn't ask out Clyde! He-He asked me out and I-I said yes. I don't even ah...like Clyde!" He confesses; My heart crumbles.

"Then why did you say yes?!" This whole situation is just breaking my heart. Why would he leave his best friend to fend for himself if he didn't even like the damn guy?!

"Because...", he starts to blush again and takes a long pause, "'cause-'cause...well..."

I grind my teeth a bark out, "Just spit it out already!"

"I wanted to ask you out!" he blurts out. My eyes shoot open wide; his start to tear up. "I wanted ta ask you out, Kenny. I really like you...you're the only person who doesn't tell me to shut up whenever I talk, and actually considers my ideas instead of immediately rejecting them just because they're childish or girly. I like you so much it hurts! B-but, then you told me that we were too different and I thought 'might as well give up' when Clyde asked me out, but...I can't give up on you Kenny! I like you...maybe even love you Kenny!"

[Ya know, as mood killing as it is, I never thought someone would confess to me outside of a McDonald's.]

I open my mouth to say something, but words wont seem to form. I'm confused, so very confused. Butters likes me? Love didn't screw me over this time? What the fuck is going on here?!

Butters finally speaks again, "Kenny...that-that was a major confession...wasn't it?" I nod, it's the only thing I can do. I'm still in a temporary state of shock. He blushes. "And normally a confession needs a acceptance or a rejection...right?"

I nod again. I know what he trying to say. He wants to know if I like him too, but I can't tell him. I would ruin Butters, which is the only thing that keeps me from pulling anything perverted on him. I swallow hard and finally words come out, "Butters I..."

He leans over and his lips cover mine. My eyes open wide and I start to kiss back. He tastes too good to resist. His sweet soft lips are trembling and he starts getting weak under my control. I dart my tongue out into his mouth and he lets out a tiny, almost inaudible moan. His mouth tastes like sirup and honey and I can't resist it, I explore his mouth. I slide my tongue over his pearly white teeth and down farther into his mouth. That's when he starts fighting back, lashing his tongue out at mine and he moans again, a little louder than last time, and it wakes me up.

I dart back and look at Butters. He's confused. "What's uh...wrong Kenny? Am I not good at k-kissin'?"

"No", I assure him, "Your great at that, but...I'm not exactly sure I'm what your looking for Butters. I like you, and you like me, but...I'm no good for you. Your so innocent and pure and I'm so disgusting and perverted...were opposites, so why do you like me so much?"

He laughs and I'm tempted to kiss him as he just did to me. "I already told you why silly, because you're the only one who sticks by me when no one else will...maybe that wasn't the case when we were kids but...it is now, and that's a-okay by me."

I lean in for another kiss and he is the first to pull away. I look at him confused. "I'm so glad you like me too Kenny. This is probably the happiest moment of my life, so...thank you. I never thought I'd feel this way, and you made it possible. Thank you so much." He embraces me tightly and my arms wrap around him as if by themselves. "Unfortunately....I really need to get home. My parents are going to ground me for not coming home last night if something was wrong, so...", he places a soft kiss on my lips, "Bye Kenny." He gets up and walks away slowly not even bothering to look back.

I watch him until he's out of sight.

- - -

I shove my hands into my pockets and head towards the mechanic's shop. I mean, hey, I'm out, might as well see if they'll hire me, right?

I reach a fairly small mechanic garage and look at the sign that reads 'Hal's Mechanics' and walk into the open garage, only to see Mr. Her walking out of his office while cleaning some random car part. He asks, "How can I help ya?"

"Um, are you hiring? You see, I've just been emancipated, and I kind of need a job." I hate to sound desperate, but I've got bills to pay.

He scratches his head and looks to the sky before saying, "I dunno, what kind of job ya lookin' fer kid? All of our office positions er filled."

"That's okay!" I assure him. "I'm more of a mechanic anyway."

He gives me a reluctant look and stays that way for a short time before saying, "I'm not so sure I should let you work on the cars, ya see, were not doin' so great lately and I ain't go no money to spend on accidents you make."

"Don't worry, I've been working on cars since I was seven. I have a good nine years of experience. Please Mr. Her, I need this job."Again, begging disgusts me, but god damn it I need this job! He sits and thinks for a long while and I say, sounding even more desperate, "Please Mr. Her, I need this job. I'm a great mechanic, just let me prove it to you!"

He puts his hand to his chin and rubs his small beard, "hm..." he looks a different direction, "hm..." another direction, "hm..."

I'm starting to get pissed at this point and finally I yell, "Can I have the job or not?!"

He seems to snap from a trance, "what?...oh, okay kid, show up next week at one and we'll see if you can fit the part then."

I'm ecstatic, I almost jump with joy, but I know that would be unprofessional, so instead I hold out my hand and say, "Thank you so much Mr. Her."

He returns my hand shake and nods, then turns around, and heads back into the garage.

- - -

The distance is short but my walk home feels more like a journey than a stroll. I mean, between thinking about Butters and resisting the temptation to enter the all too near Red Light District my brain is cramped. I have to get home quick.

When at last I reach my apartment I turn around and slam then lock the door. All my thoughts about hookers and Butters began to mash together and now my pants are tight and I can't think strait. All I can think about is Butters giving me a lap dance while striping himself, and need less to say...I need a bathroom.

I may be one of the horniest bastards in South Park, but masturbation has never been something I enjoy. It's like lying to yourself, ya know? I can get sexual release from just about anyone I want so I've never really had to worry about 'fulfilling the need' so to speak, and I would, really, I would, but I can't. Not with Butters on my mind.

I run to the bathroom and lock the door and no sooner do I sit down do I realize how hard I've become between entering my apartment building and getting to my apartment.

As if by some kind of sick reaction, as soon as my pants come down my hand wraps around my throbbing member and I stroke it slowly to begin. My imagination must really like to get creative because when I close my eyes, there's Butters, stark naked, riding me and my cock jumps completely hard when this happens. (I mean, Butters may be the sweetest thing ever, but that doesn't mean I don't want to drag him in a closet and have my way with him from time to time)

After that embarrassing ordeal is over (clean-up and everything under the sun.) my phone rings, which is strange because no one should have my number except my parents, and they don't give a rat's ass about me.

I get up and answer the phone, "Hello?"

A very familiar voice answers back; Stan. "What the fuck Kenny?!"

"What?"

"How come you didn't tell me or Kyle that you moved out?! And on you birthday dude!" For a split second I almost think I'm talking to Kyle. Almost. No one can yell quite like Kyle, well...maybe except his mom...

"Didn't think it mattered. Butters knew. How'd you get this number anyway?"

A large, angry sigh comes before he says, "I called you parents to see if you'd moved out yet and they gave me this number...uh, hold on, Cartman's calling..."

There's silence coming from Stan's end and all I can think about is how confused I am. I don't get it, when did Stan and Kyle start caring about me anyway? They never cared all those times I died...Butters was the only one who bothered to show up to all my funerals...could it be that -

"Kenny?!"

"What?"

His voice sounds so concerned as he says, "It's Butters, he's in the hospital. We-We're not sure what happened yet..."

My body freezes, I hang up and run out the door.

yeah...sorry about all the drama, but I have to keep you guys interested, right? Well, I don't know when the next update will be, hopefully in two or three weeks at the most.

Until next time,

-Lilly Lane