[EDIT: author's note: I am very proud of this chapter. The blood idea was based off of Dead Mans' blood for Vampires combined with Sam's Demon Blood. If you haven't cought onto this, Cas's baby needs a steady stream of Grace, so his powers are limited. If I had to explain that I guess I suck at writing after all. There are going to be some really characteristicly Supernatural WTF moments. I appologize for nothing.

WARNINGS: Kidnap, Torture, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Temporarily Pregnant Dean, Drugged Castiel, Poisoned Castiel, Sick Castiel, Mind Fog, Alchoholism, Anger Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Problems with Pregnancy, General Mind-Fuck]

4: Torn and Frayed

I should have known better than to let you go alone
It's times like these I can't make it on my own
Wasted days and sleepless nights
And I can't wait to see you again

I find I spend my time waiting on your call
How can I tell you babe? Back's against the wall
I Need you by my side to tell me, "It's alright"
'Cause I don't think I can take anymore

Castiel was half conscious. He could feel the iron, hot against his skin. The child inside of him was restless. His stomach burned the way Dean's soul did when it touched him. He was weak. He reached for his Grace, but it lay dormant inside him, unmoving, dark, and cold… His heart was pounding as he slowly raised his head.

"Good morning brother…"

Castiel couldn't see. Everything was fuzzy. He blinked rapidly, but it didn't work.

"Tell me how you are feeling. I am in the middle of an experiment… You see, I have found that the intake of monster blood has a special effect on our kind… It is different depending on the monster. You look awful… This is vampire. What kind of effect is it having?"

Castiel's vision went completely white as his nerves lit up like they were on fire. He struggled, but he was restrained with iron chains. It felt like something was scraping at his insides.

"Why?"

"What effect is it having?"

Lucifer waited patiently.

"I'm on fire…"

Castiel's eyes were glazed over. His elder brother was torturing him… He couldn't think…

"Why brother?..."

Castiel rasped out.

"Well I don't owe you and answer for one, but since I actually give them instead of expect you to blindly except me, I'll give you one."

Castiel heard the sound of a chair or stool being pulled up.

"You won't let me do what I want little brother."

Lucifer sounded closer now. Castiel focused through the pain, which had intensified.

"I want that precious Nefilim inside you and you just had to sink your claws in kicking and screaming. The pain will continue Castiel, only if you continue to say no to me."

Castiel's head dropped back to his chest. It was too heavy…

"In the words of the one I love…"

Castiel ground out, gritting his teeth.

"Bite me…"

Castiel could feel the vampire blood poisoning him. The heard something rattle next to him and a rush of fire into his arm where the needle was resting.

"Wrong answer, just upped your dosage. Now, this is going to be very unpleasant, seeing as how we haven't built up your tolerance yet."

Sam blinked rapidly. There was Blood-rain in his eyes and he was seeing spots. He could hear Dean howling in torment. Maybe he was hurt! That did not sound right somehow… Lucifer had told him that he did not want to hurt Dean. Something smelled off about that, but somehow, Sam believed him.

"Dean?!"

Sam blinked, the better to see.

"Bobby?! Cas?! Jo?! Ellen?!"

Sam squelched gracelessly to his feet as he called out for his family. He could see everything now, but in different shades of red. It was better.

"Right behind ya son!"

Sam reached out and helped Bobby to his feet.

"Ellen?! Jo?!"

"We're here!"

Sam nearly tripped. It was a demon. All of the demons they had been fighting were now corpses. Lucifer must have no more need for them.

Bobby helped Ellen and Sam helped Jo once they finally found them.

"Dean?! Cas?!"

"CAS IS GONE!"

Dean's voice was downright dangerous.

"That son of a bitch took him!"

Castiel was not aware that he could scream that much. Maybe somebody else was screaming because that retched sound couldn't possibly be coming from him. Not until blood welled up in his throat and the screaming stopped was he sure that that agonized sound had come from his poor vessel's vocal chords. He realized that his true voice had been present as well when he opened watering eyes. Lucifer's guards were scattered all over the floor, their heads haloed with pools of blood. Castiel was limp. He coughed weakly and a copper taste met his tongue. A warm trickle of the stuff ran down his chin. He could still hear an echo of a scream and he knew for sure it wasn't him.

I'm sorry…

Castiel willed, hoping that the tiny unborn thing inside of him would understand.

I'm so sorry…

Castiel closed his eyes and waited, knowing that his brother was approaching.

Bobby grumbled as his other cell phone rang.

"Yeah…"

He took a swig of beer. Let's just say that he was in a piss poor mood. Dean had gone ballistic because his sweetheart had been taken from him. Now he and Sam were having a sharing and caring session out by Dean's car. Bobby wanted no part of it. He stayed inside with the Harvfeles and tried to discern what to do now that the potentially most powerful being on earth was in the hands of freaking Satan.

"Hey Bobby, Garth here. So I'm in South Dakota and this wicked weird stuff is going down like you don't even know!"

Bobby ran a hand over his face. He did not need this right now.

"That's right ya idjit now tell me so I know!"

Bobby barked at the twiggy hunter on the other end.

"Have you ever seen a bush spontaneously catch fire and then yell in enochian?"

Bobby knitted his brow. Maybe he was interested in this.

"What did it say?"

"I don't know, but it sounded like it was in a whole lot of pain. I recorded it. I'll send you the file."

Bobby had a pretty good feeling he knew who had started the fire. He scribbled down some notes.

"Anything else weird?"

"Actually…"

Garth paused,

"Get on with it ya idjit."

Bobby growled.

"I just saw on the news that like half of Minnesota dropped, ears bleeding and all that! Apparently there was a sound and the entire state's supply of glass was shattered in like a second. Then most of the people exposed to it died. Those who survived said it wasn't just a sound, it was someone screaming. The bush just stopped talking at like 7 pm."

That smelled angelic to Bobby.

"OK Garth, we may be dealing with Angels here so keep your head in the game. If you see a really dorky looking guy with wings, you grab him for us. He's kind of important."

"Gotcha!"

"Call me if you find anything!"

Bobby hung up and went to go tell the Winchesters.

Dean's mind wasn't in the game. Sam was giving him a pep talk, but all he could see was that scruffy face, blue eyes wide with panic and chapped lips screaming his name. Cummon Cas… Hang in there, I'm gonna find you…

"Dean, you still listening or what?"

Dean looked up from his boots to his little brother. No, not really. He was freaking out, but he needed to put on a brave face. If he couldn't keep it together, panic might ensue.

"Yeah, yeah Sammy…"

Dean leaned back against the smooth, cool, metal of his baby's hood. Even she held little comfort.

"Great…"

Sam's tone indicated that he did not believe him.

"Dean… He's gonna be ok…"

Dean didn't want to hear it.

"Oh yeah right Sam! Cas is gonna just come out smelling like a rose after being taken from us by the Devil! Thanks for that by the way!"

Dean snapped.

"I'm going inside!"

He stomped off, not waiting for Sam to answer. Sam could shove it! This was all his fault! Dean almost ran right smack into Bobby the door banged open.

"Somebody's got their panties in a bunch…"

Bobby grumbled. Dean gave him a look that could sour milk.

"Hey Sam, git over here! Dean, don't you say a damn word!"

The two stood there, looking more like petulant children than anything else. Bobby herded them inside and called for Ellen and Jo to come downstairs. The rag-tag group huddled around the bar, morning beers in hand. They looked more like a gang of alcoholics that fearsome warriors.

"Garth just called with some news that might lead us to Angel Boy. SIT DOWN DEAN! I wasn' damn finished!"

Dean plopped back down onto his stool, with a murderous expression on his face.

"Garth said that a ton of people dropped dead in Minnesota from blood loss out the ears. According to the News, it was a state emergency. Those who were unaffected claimed to have heard someone screaming. It lasted all night and early into the mornin'. Then Garth found this bush that was on fire, but wasn't burnin, like in the old testimate. It was shouting in enochian. Garth sent me the audio file… I'm warnin ya. It ain't pretty…"

Bobby pressed play on his laptop screen. An all too familiar voice rang out through the speakers. Sam glanced anxiously at Dean. The elder Winchester had gone white and his hands gripped the edge of the bar so hard, his veins were popping. It was Cas. He was crying out in obvious and terrible pain and in between words, he would let out a bloodcurdling shriek that made Sam wince visibly.

"Turn it off…"

Dean hissed. His jaw was clenched and his teeth ground together.

"Turn it off!"

Dean punched the bar, managing to dent it and splinter his fingers. Bobby hit the space bar before Dean could do any more damage. Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder, but said nothing.

"It translates roughly to 'We are on fire!' over and over again"

Dean stood up again and began to pace.

"So far all we know is that the voice came from Minnesota. We don't have an actual location or anything."

"So what you do is you follow the miracles. Hello!"

A sandy haired man stood next to Sam with a bored look on his face.

"So Deanie Weenie, we gonna find Baby Mama or what?"

Sam crossed his arms and pinched his lips together.

"Gabriel…"

"Hey Kiddo."

Gabriel turned back and addressed the group as if he were commanding an audience.

"Kay so I know what town he is in, but brother Luci warded the place, so wherever he is, I cannot see it. I can point you in the right direction."

Dean looked ready to go with Gabriel, but the other three had questions. Sam was particularly disturbed.

"Why? You're the trickster. Why should we trust you?"

Gabriel smiled impishly.

"How far is Dean willing to go for you? I'm a big brother too you know. He's my youngest sibling and he's kind of important, especially right now."

Gabriel held out his hand.

"Who's coming with?"

Dean looked up.

"I'm going with Gabriel. Sam, Bobby, you come with me. Gabriel, you're taking us back when we've got Cas right?"

Gabriel shrugged, grinning.

"He'll be pissed if I don't Dean-o!"

Ellen and Jo agreed to do some research in order to pinpoint where Cas was being kept. Ellen had grown fond of him and was anxious to see the Angel safe. Dean went up to pack a bag and Bobby intercepted Sam as he went to get his own bag.

"You know what we have to do right Sam?"

Bobby's face was stone cold serious. He and Sam had had this conversation earlier.

"Yeah…"

Sam grabbed his duffle bag and jogged to the bar where Gabriel was waiting. He had turned the bar into a Disco with loud Bee Gees music and a disco ball.

"Hey Kiddo!"

"Gabriel… When Bobby gets here, we have to leave pronto!"

Sam decided not to ask the Trickster about the room. Gabriel had no doubt gotten bored.

"I always did enjoy a little prank. I was just about to ask why we're leaving Dr. Hodgins, but I know why, and I don't really even care."

Sam decided not to ask why Gabriel was using so many Bones references and shrugged.

"He's gotten too emotional about it. It won't be helping Cas any, so we're leaving him."

"I said I know why kiddo."

Gabriel added a couple of go-go dancers to the bar.

"Don't really care. I'll get you there, I'll get you back. All of the other stuff is really not that consequential."

Sam looked Gabriel up and down.

"Then why help?"

Sam knew that, archangel or not, Gabriel was consumed with fear. He just wanted to run and hide from his problems, but his brother needed him, so it was time to step up. Sam sighed internally. Gee… that didn't remind him of anyone… Bobby approached, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Well, not silence. More like wailing of "More than a Woman."

"Do I even ask?"

Bobby grumbled.

"No. Now let's go!"

Dean was good and ready to punch a hole in the wall.

"Damn it Sam!"

His deep bellow reverberated through every room.

"You can't just leave!"

Ellen bound into the room, shotgun in hand.

"Dean, you mind tellin' me why you gave me such a fright?!"

Ellen lowered her gun a little, checking the room.

"Sam, Bobby, and that winged son of a bitch just left without me!"

Dean roared, pacing, trying to manage the anger and panic. How could they do this to him? Cas was his responsibility! Cas was his angel! They had a connection! It might help them find him!

"I need a drink."

"If you ask me, they left you here because you ain't seeing straight. You're so attached to Blue Eyes that you can't focus and your anger is out of control. Dean, just give Sam a call. Talk to him. I'm sure his reasons ain't bad."

Dean downed a shot of whiskey and eyed Ellen offer the brim of the shot glass.

"Yeah, like when he broke the final seal and Lucifer rose from Hell. Nah… His intentions were plenty good then, but look where they got us…"

Dean paused to pour and down another shot. Ellen raised an eyebrow.

"Good God Dean. You sure have turned into a crybaby."

She turned to leave.

"Oh, Blue Eyes doesn't like it when you binge drink. You should take better care Dean. Get some rest. You know, eat something? It there's one thing I gathered about him, it's that he cares more about you than himself. Don't screw it up."

The mark that Castiel had left on Dean's arm was cold and clammy. Dean rested his other hand against it praying the words 'please don't be dead' over and over again. He cradled his cell in his other hand. His thumb hovered over the speed dial. He had Sam's contact in his phone as "Bitch," at least his first cell. The other two were "Little Shit" and "Mop Head." Dean almost snorted, but couldn't. He called Bitch. When there was no answer, Little Shit, and finally, Mop Head picked up.

"Dean, I can explain…"

Sam sounded like he had been waiting for this call. There was a whole lot of static interference.

"No you can't."

Dean snapped. There was a static filled silence.

"What is all that crap?"

"There's a snow storm. Its December in Minnesota Dean."

"I'm not stupid…"

Dean winced, tired from last night's battle and soar from the injuries.

"You guys find him. You don't find him in a week and I'm driving down there myself."

Dean growled.

"Dean…"

Dean knew what Sam would say.

"Yeah… Call me with any updates. I'll be here, you know, doing your job…"

Dean sighed at the thought of research when he could be out there bringing his angel home safe.

"Just… Get some rest Dean…"

Dean grumbled. Everyone kept saying that as if they had never had a few scrapes before. He hung up on Sam and rolled over. Dean lay on the covers in his clothes, the way he always did, but there was no soft black blanket of feathers this time. No angel curled up under the covers, sheltering him with a wing. Dean stretched out an arm. Feeling what little comfort there was to feel, Dean passed into an uneasy sleep.

He no longer felt that he was on fire, but the skin of his vessel felt as if he had been burned clean off. The holy fire still burned around him. Castiel could feel it and hear it simultaneously. He dared to open his eyes just enough to see blurred shapes through the pain. The holy fire cast a sickly glow over the walls of the warehouse. The bodies in which the demon guards had inhabited were stretched out across the floor, empty, blood forming halos around their heads. Castiel did not bother to move. He was so tired. He could feel a small consciousness inside him pushing at his mind. It too emulated unhappiness. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned his head. Castiel willed the tiny being to understand. He was not hurting the child intentionally. He wanted it to know that it wished for its safety and that was the reason why he was doing this. He wanted to do the right thing…

"Father…"

Castiel croaked. Blood bubbled up in his throat and a single bead dripped out of the corner of his mouth and down his stubbly chin.

"I need to know… Am I on the right path?... I need to know if I am on the right path…"

He wished to be an angel… To be one that followed orders… He wanted so badly for someone else to lead the way… He was doing the right thing, but it was so painful in every way. Castiel felt Lucifer approaching before he actually saw the fallen archangel. He was whistling the popular tune "You are my Sunshine," cheerfully.

"Goodness baby brother, the mess you've made."

Lucifer tutted at him as he ambled up to the outer edge of the circle of fire.

"So am I going to get a "yes" today?"

Castiel opened his eyes fully, unperturbed by the blazing of Lucifer's silver wings.

"Bite… Me…"

Castiel managed to grind out between clenched teeth. Lucifer raised his eyebrows and waggled a finger.

"Wrong answer."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and Castiel heard a nasty crunching sound. Several brittle bones in Castiel's wings snapped. He made a pathetic gurgling sound as the pain hit his sensitive wings.

"I'll give you a second…"

Lucifer smiled placidly, crossing his arms and tilting his head as Castiel's back arched and he wiggled in pain.

"How about now?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Castiel.

"Never…"

The word came out as a whimper, but it was what the angel could manage. Lucifer sighed, pursing his lips.

"Good thing I got you a present then, isn't it?"

Castiel could make out another pint bag in his brother's hand as Lucifer held the other out, palm up. The tube raced to his hand.

"Got it fresh just for you. It's Wrath blood. It put up a bit of a fight, so this is all that was left, but I'm sure I don't care."

Castiel could feel the tainted liquid begin to enter his veins.

"Anyway, you tell me what you felt when I come back and we'll have this little chat again, yes?"

Castiel glared at his elder brother as he left. He was acting braver and stronger than he felt. He closed his eyes, vessel aching to be cradled, to be supported be someone else's weight... His only real comfort was the Mark on his hip, warm under his clothes. Castiel began to sweat, the blood would be taking effect in no time at all. He reached out to the tiny consciousness inside him and tried to comfort it.

Dean, you have to find us soon…

It had been a week! A whole WEEK. Dean was agitated beyond all belief. He kept calling Sam over and over again asking for their location. He needed it in order to help them, but Bobby had finally intervened and bellowed at Dean that he was being an idjit wasn't helping. The only reason that Dean was sure the angel was still alive was the mark on his arm. Sometimes it was feverish. Other times it was cold and clammy. He couldn't really explain it, but he'd seen weirder. Dean hadn't actually realized how much he would miss Cas's company at night until he had to go without him. The angel's warmth and divine comfort had actually helped the Winchester sleep a few more hours each night. Now, the bed was as empty as it had been before. The only evidence that Cas had been there at all was a pile of pillows and a few fly away feathers. Dean stretched out his arm, trying to pretend that the warm weight of Castiel's vessel rested atop it. He didn't actually want to sleep, but Ellen would yell and Jo would pout if he didn't. If he persisted, they would call Sam who would give him a lecture on the hazards of sleep deprivation with Bobby calling him an asshat or idjit in the background.

At least Sam, Bobby, Garth, and Gabriel had been keeping him informed. Yeah, Garth had been permitted to join the great angel rescue but oh no, not Dean! From what Dean had heard over the phone, Garth was… Special… At any rate, Dean was a better hunter and knew Cas best. He should be out there… Dean traced the soft edge of a charcoal black feather. He was tired, sure, but sleep did not come easy when his angel and his child…

Dean blinked and became very alert very suddenly. It didn't mean it was actually his kid, like part of him, but he felt like it was his. He felt protective of the angel who happened to have a soul child growing inside of him. If Dean wanted to protect Cas, he reasoned with himself, then of course he would be protective of something growing in the angel's body. Dean managed to put that topic out of his mind, stroking the feather with a finger until he passed out.

Dean was comfortable in his reclining lawn chair. In one hand, he held a fishing pole, in the other, a bottle of beer. He stared out at the calm scenery. From the dock, he could see the placid lake, lush greenery, and blue mountain perfectly. Maybe he'd get a bite today… Maybe he wouldn't… He didn't really care out here. Everything was peaceful. Dean heard a bird fluttering along…

"Hello Dean…"
The voice was low and scratchy like a dying fire. That hadn't been a bird! It was an angel. Dean jumped up, dropping his Beer and fishing gear. Cas looked awful. His wings stuck out in directions they weren't supposed to go. He was covered in sweat and blood.

"Cas!
Cas's brilliant blue eyes were wide, frightened, and desperate. Dean threw his arms around him. His stomach lurched as he felt Cas shudder in his arms, unable to handle being touched.

"I've been worried dude! Where are you?"

"I don't know Dean… It's snowing outside… There have been storms, other than that, I don't know…"

Cas pulled away. Dean wanted to resist, to pet his hair and give him comfort, but he knew better. Cas gave him a meaningful look. In his cupped hands, he held a small, white ball of light. Dean knew what it was without asking.

"I need you to take it…"

Cas's eyes pleaded with him not to argue.

"Just hold it. I'll be back tonight. I don't have much time. Lucifer will be returning soon."

Dean wasn't exactly sure why he wasn't asking more questions as he nodded. Castiel swiftly pressed the hot ball of light into Dean's chest. Cas was gone as soon as he pulled away…

"Typical… Didn't even buy me dinner first…"

Dean woke due to an intense heat inside his body. He was not exactly thrilled, but at least the child was safe for now. Dean rolled over, still so damn tired. He could deal with this later. He wanted to sleep.

Castiel felt terrible about leaving his child. The poor thing wouldn't last very long in a human body, so he needed to act quickly. At least it was Dean, the father. That should buy him some time. Luckily for Castiel, his Grace was returning swiftly. He closed his eyes, praying for strength… Castiel willed the wounds that he could not heal to bleed. He must put out the holy fire. All he had was his vessel and his Grace. He waited until about a pint had been drained before he willed the blood to run toward the ring of fire. He was beginning to feel dizzy, but he could deal with that later. The fire went out with a hiss as his blood bubbled sickeningly. Castiel waited just a moment before unlocking his shackles. The resonant click seemed to have gotten the demon guards' attention. One of them ran at him in a blur. He raised a hand and smote it. His eyes were clouded and his vessel exhausted. The other guard tried to evade him by swooping around, but he was still an angel. Angels would always be faster. He didn't even feel himself smite that demon. He just knew it had happened when he heard the heavy thud of its body hit cold cement.

Castiel leaned against the wall, wretching. It had to be blood, nothing else was that color red… The angel wasn't even sure how he had gotten out or where he was, but he was out. Castiel staggered, urging himself to move forward. He needed to get away. They couldn't find him again… Castiel was maybe a couple of miles away from the warehouse when he had to stop. He was so cold and so tired… He groaned as he landed, hard, on his broken wings, Castiel stared at the sky. He had to have fallen… The snow was nice on his wings. They were going numb… They didn't hurt anymore… The rest of his vessel was starting to lose feeling as well… The snowflakes were really very beautiful. Each and every snowflake was different. The crystal structure changed from one to the other. They sparkled, yet they were cold and soft all at once… Castiel's throat hurt… He realized that he must be breathing in the precious things. How sad that he had to kill something so beautiful… The snowflakes melted as they fell upon his skin. Castiel just watched and felt and marveled at his father's work. If he had a choice, he would want to be a snowflake… When he fell from the sky, he would melt away…

Dean wasn't even comfortable on his dock. He was soar and hot all over and his head was pounding. That and he was in no mood for beer. Just the thought of it made him want to hurl… He heard the rustle of wings.

"Cas?!"

Dean groaned as he stood, joints cracking.

"Did you get out? Do you know where you are?"

Cas looked even more out of it than usual. He blinked at Dean, but no verbal answer was forthcoming. Castiel just gave a small nod.

"Cas…"

Dean felt as if a pit had opened in his chest as he took the angel in his arms once again. He was so fragile and frail looking. Dean felt one cold hand against his chest and all of a sudden, he was a whole lot more comfortable.

"Wait! Cas, are you sure that's a good idea?! You aren't in any condition-"

Dean was silenced by those damn eyes. The angel had to stop playing that card. Cas pulled away slowly.

"Thank you Dean…"

Dean could barely hear him.

"Yeah…"

Dean mussed his damp dark hair.

"Just come back safe…"

Sam hung up his phone.

"That was Dean."

He, Bobby, and Garth (and on occasion Gabriel), had been hauled up in Motel after Motel. They had been, what Garth had dubbed, Minnesota hopping. Right now they were in a tiny little town by the name of Moose Lake. Gabriel, who had decided to stay for a while, teased Sam that he didn't realize that Sam had a lake and a town named after him. Sam had ignored him for the most part.

"What did lover boy say?"

Bobby grumbled. He had had his fill of Dean trying to catch up with them and calling for updates.

"Dean says that Cas just visited him twice in dreams. He said Cas dropped the baby off with him for about an hour then returned to pick it up. According to Dean, Cas escaped but doesn't know where he is. Apparently Cas's wings are broken and he's covered in blood, but he's alive."

Gabriel, who had finally found something worthy of looking up from his candy, sat straight up.

"Whoa! Hold on two seconds!"

Gabriel vanished and returned about a minute later with more candy and a map.

"So I just went to talk to some of my peeps-"

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You have peeps?"

"Sure do Moose Port! Eyes and ears everywhere!"

Gabriel threw a candy wrapper at Sam before returning to his map.

"They've been on the prowl for angelic miracles too. They said that the miracles were happening here."

Gabriel pointed to a pink circle on the map.

"and now they are happening here."

He gestured to a purple circle on the map.

"That and I know where he is cuz he isn't inside Lucifer's wards anymore. Shall I take you?"

Gabriel wore an impish grin. The three humans gave Gabriel a variety of incredulous looks.

"Hello, Trickster! Come on, let's go!"

Sam blinked the snow out of his eyes as he steadied himself from the flight with Gabriel. He looked around, squinting due to blinding white snow. The air was crisp and cold, stinging his cheeks. Sam turned to Gabriel.

"Where is he?"

Gabriel shrugged and indicated the aria in front of their feet.

"Should be right here."

Sam scanned the ground.

"Cas?!"

He bellowed.

"Cas, where are you?!"

Garth grabbed Sam's arm with boney fingers.

"Look!"

Sam squinted. Feathers… Black feathers, stark against the fresh snow. Sam bound forward and knelt next to a clump of them. The stuck out of the snow at an odd angle and were obviously attached to something. He seriously hoped it was Cas and not some enormous dead bird. Gabriel gave Sam a pointed look.

"Sam, you need to stand back."

With a single snap of his fingers, Gabriel swept the snow out of his way.

"Good lord…"

Bobby whispered, kneeling where Sam had been.

"Not so much right now. Sam, you grab Cas, everybody else, hold on tight!"

Gabriel was actually looking very serious as he laid his hands on the humans and took flight.

Dean was the one to answer the door when the hunters and angels returned.

"Hurry up!"

Gabriel had appeared inside house, yelling at Sam like he owned him.

"Dean, clear off the bar!"

Ellen was already on it. She swept everything off, not caring if it broke when it hit the floor. She grabbed a bottle of vodka. Cas looked even more awful than Dean had imagined. He was soaking wet and ashen. His wings were broken in several places and feathers fell out in large quantities. There was blood, but he wasn't bleeding any more. He looked so small and fragile as Sam rushed him to the counter. Dean tried to clean the angel's face with the sleeve of his jacket. Cas let out a weak cough and a drop of blood landed on his hand.

"You're gonna be ok Cas…"

Dean whispered more to himself than to Castiel himself.

"You're gonna be ok…"

He smoothed wet, blood matted hair out of Cas's face. The angel's eyes were closed. He wanted so badly to see those clear eyes. Gabriel and Ellen were busy at work, tearing Cas's clothes to get to his skin.

"Dean! A little help!"

Sam bellowed as he ran from the room to get blankets. Dean stood, feeling numb.

"What can I do?"

He asked Gabriel. Gabriel shook his head,

"I can't heal all of these. Some of them are spiritual… Get some blankets…"

Dean began to leave, but there was a tug at his sleeve. It was light and he almost didn't notice it, but he stopped.

"Dean…?

That voice was so welcome, low and crackling. Dean fell to Cas's side.

"Hey…"

Dean was so happy.

"Yeah, I'm here… You're gonna be ok…"

Castiel gave Dean one of those adoring 'oh my savior' looks before turning away. His eyes were tightly shut and his chapped lips pursed. Dean just knew he was in pain. He ran soothing hands over his face and through his hair, just wanting him to feel better.

"Hay… Sh…"

Sam was back, handing him towels soaked in hot water, some alcohol, cotton swab, and some blankets. Dean didn't realize it, but it was just him and Gabriel now. He was so intent. Cas didn't open his eyes, or acknowledge him again, but he seemed calmer. Gabriel healed what he could, but Lucifer had done something to Cas. He was sick. Even after his injuries had all been healed, it still felt like something was wrong. He was sweating and running a temperature. Gabriel had never seen anything like it. He had gone off with Sam, Bobby, and Garth to discuss possibilities. Jo had come down to help Dean and her mother. . Dean cleaned Cas off best he could. He gave him some fresh clothes, dressing him awkwardly with Jo's help. Dean was fussing over the angel. Angels weren't supposed to get sick and Cas was a special angel. This couldn't be good for the baby…

Castiel was in a bedroom. It was the one at Ellen's. Dean was there and so was their child, still inside of him, still waiting to be born. He sat on the edge of the bed, muscles tense. Dean looked angry. He didn't want Dean to be angry with him.

"Why did you have to go and get pregnant Cas?"

The words cut into him like an Angel Blade.

"I didn't mean to Dean… I wouldn't have done it on purpose…"

He was whispering. Whispering because he was scared.

"You knew that it could happen though right? You knew and you didn't say anything!"

Castiel's eyes were wide. He hadn't even known he could get pregnant until he was pregnant.

"No…"

"That's a bunch of bullshit!"

Dean backhanded him across the face, leaving a mark that stung. He thought Dean would never hurt him again!

"I'm sorry Dean…"

It was his go to. An apology usually worked and he didn't want Dean to hit him again. It hurt more because it was Dean doing the hitting.

"Whatever. You always say that."

Dean turned away from him. His back and neck muscles bunched and tense.

"How could you get yourself kidnapped!?"

Dean was in his face now.

"All you had to do was grab my hand! Was that really so hard?!"

Castiel didn't answer him this time. Dean should know that he had been pulled away. He had tried, but it hadn't mattered. There was a glint of something silver in Dean's hand. Castiel placed a defensive hand against his lower abdomen.

"Don't hurt it…"

He pleaded. His voice was weak and it cracked. It was too late. The angel blade was inside of him, inside of the child. Together, they screamed.

There was a high pitched sound that woke Dean violently. He covered his ears.

"What th-"

He had heard that sound before. An angel's true voice.

"Cas, hey!"

He reached out and shook the screaming angel violently.

"Wake up!"

Cas stared at him with huge, delirious blue eyes.

"Don't hurt me…"

Dean was taken aback. His chest felt tight. He wouldn't.

"What?!"

"Don't hurt it!"

Cas curled up in a ball under the covers, looking very small. Dean reached out, feeling lost and cold.

"Cas, you were dreaming…"

Cas gazed up at him, looking more like an injured animal than an angel of the Lord. Dean got up from his bedside chair and curled up around him so that he couldn't bolt.

"Hey… I wouldn't hurt you…"

He tried to sooth, rubbing the angel's arm. Cas was shaking violently and his breath was shallow.

"Is… that what nightmares feel like?..."

Cas rasped. Dean nodded, feeling the Angel's face. He was soaked in cold sweat and he was still running a temperature.

"Yeah…"

"Dean…?"

Cas coughed tasted warm copper.

"I missed you…"

Dean squeezed a little tighter.

"Yeah buddy, missed you too…"

Cas was silent for a moment.

"I'm dirty…"

Dean couldn't help but snort.

"Yeah. Getting tortured will do that to you."

Cas was silent for another moment.

"I need a shower Dean…"

"Alright, here…"

Dean smirked and hoisted the angel into his arms, blankets and all.

"I can walk. This is not necessary."

Cas protested, but Dean didn't put him down until they were in the bathroom. He sat Cas down on the toilet seat and started the water.

"How do you want it?"

Dean asked without turning around. Damn, now he was pampering the guy… Cas was busy removing the blankets and his boxers. He looked up, Dean's backside in his face.

"Oh… Warm… Warm, but not hot…"

Dean turned around to see Cas sitting there, completely naked.

"Oh shit!"

Cas blinked.

"Calm down Dean."

He squinted.

"Warn me next time."

Dean shook his head. Cas did not seem convinced.

"This is a shower. If I am not mistaken, people undress before they get in."

Cas stood his ground. He stuck his chin out stubbornly. Dean's eyes slid down his body. He wasn't showing yet. There was something different. Maybe he just hadn't noticed it before. He hadn't seen Cas naked since that one time in his dream. It was a scar, dark against his hip. He realized he was staring and went back to checking the water.

"It's a burn scar."

Cas didn't seem to miss a beat. He even moved a little so that Dean could see it better. It was eerily familiar. A scar in the shape of a hand…

"Like the one you left on me…"

"Yes Dean."

Cas stood mostly still under the jets. His legs were wobbly and Dean felt an urge to get in there with him so that he could hold him up. He tried not to watch, but couldn't bring himself to leave. If Cas fell or something, he wanted to be there. Finally, Cas shut off the water. He was too shaky getting out. Dean had to do something.

"You really shouldn't be up and around…"

A soft towel wrapped itself around Castiel and he was hoist up into Dean's arms again.

"You are most likely correct."

He mumbled into Dean's warm body, not wanting to argue.

"I'm sorry Dean…"

Dean was met with the saddest puppy dog eyes. They even rivaled Sammy's.

"Sorry for what Cas?"

"Everything."

Castiel buried his scratchy face into Dean's neck and mumbled something.

"Hay wao! No chick flick moments!"

Dean laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh stop it Cas, you didn't do anything wrong!"

Castiel was silent. He was probably tired. Dean had nasty memories of being tortured in Hell and the Angel boss of hell had been wailing on Cas for a week and a half. Even if his body had healed, it takes something out of you. Dean checked to make sure the cost was clear, knowing that this would look really bad. He was clothed, but Cas was wrapped up in nothing but a towel. He would have dared Sam of Bobby to give a shit on any other day, but the angel wasn't exactly at the peak of health. Dean hadn't taken advantage of him and he didn't want that to be the assumption. Yeah, he was a little hard, but who wouldn't be with all that warm skin and nakedness pressed up against him? It wasn't as if he planned to do anything about it… Right now… Dean shook himself mentally and set Cas down on the bed.

"I'll get you something to sleep in."

Dean turned away to get a T-shirt and Boxers out of Cas's bag. He was treating Cas like a wife and he knew it. Whatever, the guy was sick.

"I'm comfortable…"

Cas's naked little body curled up into one of the blankets. Dean gulped.

"Cas, buddy… It's a human thing… I need you to put something on…"

Castiel was silent, but his wings rustled unhappily.

"Too hot…"

He took the boxers proffered to him however. Dean gave him a shirt, which he promptly threw to the edge of the bed. At least now he was wearing something. Dean turned around to put on a fresh pair of night things, feeling the angel's laser eyes on his back. Dean climbed into bed and allowed the unhappy creature to cling to him like a barnacle.

"Hey… How you doin' there?..."

Castiel rested his head against Dean's chest, holding him so tight that it was almost painful.

"I'm alright Dean…"

Castiel did not want to be a bother… Not until he had an answer to whether his child lived or not… If he could confirm that it had died… He would say something… If it was alive, he needn't speak up at all… Dean needn't know …

"That's a load of crap…"

Dean leaned back against his pillows. If the angel had been feeling better, he would have pushed, but there was no point. Cas seemed to be even more stubborn when he was ill. Dean glanced down at the angel, watching him sleep and hoping that the nightmares would stop.