Hey everyone I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while I just got out of hospital and then my charger went missing :/ hope this chapter is what you've all been waiting for, also I'm not going to change the way that I've written Finn to be. Hope you still love it though xxx
Previously:
"I'm sorry Noah. I needed someone and everyone, including myself, convinced me that I have no one. I should've known that I'd have you and Mike. I still don't want to be here but I know I have people who care, I love you." I whispered.
The Glee Cub walked in and I froze up I don't want them here. I don't want them around me. Noah let out a growl.
"What do you losers want? I thought I told you you're not allowed to see Rachel." Puck growled at them.
"Calm down Puck." Mr Schue said. "We heard what Rachel said. Why do you feel like that Rachel?"
"Babe you don't have to say anything to them, just tell me and me and Mike will kick them out." Mike nodded along with what Noah said.
"It's fine Noah if they really want to know what they've done then I'll tell them don't expect an apology from me because not one of you ever apologized." I said looking at the Glee Club.
"Rachel…" Mr Schue started but I cut him off.
"No Mr Schue you asked me and now you're going to stand there and listen. Singing about it or one simple sorry won't fix this, the damage is already done." I started, looking down at my arms at the only release I now have. "I'll start with you Mr Schue. You talk about being a family but it doesn't matter if it's me getting bullied or that you've hurt or gets hurt. The club can say anything they want to me but as soon as someone lays 'a hand' on or says anything about the others it's a fight and we need to sing it out. I know I'm a diva but I have feelings too and you completely ignore them!" I yelled, running my fingers over my stiches pulling them a little to keep calm. Everyone looked at me shocked.
"Kurt and Mercedes; you told me that 'us divas need to stick together', but every chance you're bad mouthing me, putting me down, trying to get ahead in your own popularity even if that means hurting me.
"Finn; all you do is use me for your own selfish needs. You only want me when Quinn doesn't want you. Don't you like being alone? You always try to change me and are embarrassed by me. You are part of the reason why I couldn't be seen with my two best friends in public.
"Tina, Artie and Sam; you have never said anything directly to me, I don't know about when I'm not around, but not once did you ever make any effort to stick up for me. You say we can be friends but never have you tried, you avoid me like the black plague just like everyone else.
"Santana; all you do is make sarcastic remarks about people and I am one of your favorite targets. Do you know how hard it is to be me?
"Brittany; you just go along with whatever Quinn and Santana say, even if you know its mean. Admittedly you have been nicer since you found me crying.
"And lastly Quinn! Where do I start with you? Ever since middle school you hated me. Is it because I'm friends with Noah and Mike? It doesn't matter, you hated me for no reason! You always pick on me, never want me, made sure I didn't get on the Cheerios. You are just a bitch. If I have someone's attention you have to do something to mess everything up. You try and make it so that I never succeed. You've been a bitch since I met you, you need to lay off!" I said looking at each person individually.
"None of you tried to get to know me, to see what was going on, why I wore those clothes or why I was that way and none of you will! Because the way I see it you don't really care you just want someone to blame for this, well you have your answer, you all are some more so than others. Now please get the fuck out!" I growled. They all stood there shocked. Finn went to say something.
"No, I don't want to hear your half ass apologies ok? Whatever you have to say I'm too tired and can't even get my mind around the fact that you think just saying sorry will make all of this better and make it go away!" I said. "Now. Get. Out! Try talking to me tomorrow." I told them and rolled over. The tears silently streaming down my face and I felt their presence in my room. I turned and just stared at them.
"Rach, that was uncall-" Finn started.
"If that word is going to be uncalled for, you better shut your fucking mouth right now! You know what's uncalled for? Being bullied for 13 years for things you can't change or things that aren't true! What's uncalled for is having no one you can turn to in public and pretty much behind closed doors, because you're a freak!" I said with an angry tone.
"Rach you could always turn to me, I love you." Finn said just above a whisper.
"That's funny you can't even say it loud enough for people to hear. The things is you don't like me, you like the idea of being with someone."
"Rachel can we please talk about this?" Mr Schue asked.
"I've said all you need to hear right now, what, do you want me to take my clothes off to show you all my scars? Do you need to know how many pills I took? How deep I cut? Why my dad's left me? Why no one wants me? You don't get to know anything about me." I snarled. "What else can we possibly talk about?"
"The fact that you made me out to be a bitch!" Quinn yelled.
"That's because you are!" Noah and I yelled back. "What don't like the fact that I fight back now?"
"I am not RuPaul, you deserve whatever is dished out to you!"
"Get the hell out right now!" I growled. Everyone looked so shocked. Quinn stood frozen. "Now!" I got the satisfaction of Quinn scurrying out of my room terrified of me.
"Rachel!" Finn yelled.
"Now if the rest of you would follow suit and get the hell out. It would be greatly appreciated." I said turning on my side not looking at anyone. Why did I have to fail? Why couldn't I just be dead.
Everyone slowly started to leave and Noah leant down and gave me a kiss.
"I'll be back tomorrow as soon as I can." He promised.
I just nodded and closed my eyes hoping that sleep would come.