Chapter 4

This time when the undercover detective looked into the cracked mirror of the tiny bathroom next to Jo's own designated room, the bruise on her left cheek looked a bit darker and a lot more painful than it had, just enough time having passed for it to fully develop. The bags underneath her eyes were more pronounced as well, and she looked like she hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks. This was not untrue, per se.

The laughter of the man she had had a one-on-one encounter with in the next-door room resounded as he undoubtedly bragged to his little friends about having gotten the 'older chick' to suck his dick. It made Jo's stomach turn. She couldn't exactly hear what he was saying, though. She eyed herself carefully in the mirror and saw that she was only a ghost of the person she had been before the undercover operation started. The fresh memory of the kinds of things she had had to do to stay in and not blow it, made it really impossible for her to stay there right now.

She knew that she was taking a risk, but she also knew that that risk was quite small. Sanchez or his pals wouldn't bother her anymore tonight. In fact, after he had emptied himself in her mouth, he had told her very literally that she could go as often as she pleased if he got that in return. It was the last 'that' she would ever do, though. She needed to leave this place for a few hours. Pushing off of the sink, she let her gaze fall upon a window that she could disappear through rather easily, if she wanted. So that is what she did.

Gently pushing the window down a bit but not entirely so that she could get back in later, Jo Danville set off into the unknown, sure not to return for the next few hours, no matter what happened. Her feet carried her to the harbor, the only place in this toxic neighborhood where she felt remotely like the person she truly was and not like the person Jo was pretending to be.

Resuming her spot right on top of the container that she had taken as her own for the past few nights, Josephine Danville lay back on the cold metal. The detective's mind swam. How the hell had she gotten into all this mess? She had been on top of things. She had followed the rules. She had hung with the gang in the beginning, had been invited to come to the squat four days later and had been allowed to smoke some joints with Sanchez and his friends that evening. She had been accepted as part of the gang the next week, so to speak. They had all predicted that it would take her longer, and it was odd that it hadn't, but beneficial, so she hadn't worried too much. She maybe should have.

She sighed, turning on the receiver end of the earpiece, only to listen to silence. Her sleeve fell back on its own far enough for her to be able to read her watch's dial when she raised her dominant hand. She noticed that it was after 11PM, already. While she had seen him still at the lab past that hour more than once, she realized the Lieutenant had better things to do now with his time than listen to her. In emergencies, of course, she could switch to another receiver with a tiny button within the headset and call for back-up, but overall, Mac was her only contact at the lab. "I wish you were awake," she whispered to herself more than anything. She assumed that he was having a night with Christine, and he deserved the down time for all the hard work he did and the many years of long hours he had wasted at the lab. Christine had been the Lieutenant's reason to leave earlier the past few weeks, even if he did still live at the job more so than anyone else she knew.

"I am."

When she heard the voice, she felt a bit taken aback, tensing up for a few seconds before relaxing. She hadn't expected him to still be listening for her right then, and it shocked her a bit that he was after all. Lots of thoughts and questions were going through her mind, but she didn't let him know. Mac seemed to feel that something wasn't entirely right, though. Maybe he had heard that small crack in her voice that she had heard herself as well.

"What's going on?"

"I just didn't expect you to still be awake, I reckon," Jo responded slowly, telling herself that that was not a lie, per se.

"Jo… I'm no fool."

Just that small comment from him on the other end −− just that −− created a flare of warmth, of familiarity, of home, within her, despite the fact that she had felt icy cold ever since she had opened the door to Sanchez' face and knew what she had to do. Maybe even before that moment, when he had called the name of the woman he knew her as and she knew that she would have to pay for her cocky attitude. It was somehow nice to know that she couldn't fool Mac, that he still knew her well enough that he heard that something was up with her even across the distance, even after Christine −− or rather, during Christine, Jo Danville reminded herself. She felt a bit cold again, all of a sudden. It was so hard not to be as open as she once was, to just be herself then. She was so far from whom she truly was, had pretended so much for so long. She wanted to be her again, if only for now. "I've had to go a lot further for the sake of the operation than I would have imagined," she admitted.

"What did you do?" Mac asked, and a sharp edge came to the Lieutenant's voice, his thoughts running wild with the possibilities.

She opened her mouth to say it, but she felt that she couldn't just tell him that she had given a blowjob to an 'associate' of the man they were investigating, someone who gave her the best shot at finding 'the target'. Lizarro hadn't shown up at the squat yet, though, and that was discouraging, especially since she hadn't even heard anyone speak of or about him. An acid taste filled her mouth all over again. Jo's non-answer was answer enough.

"Jo, it isn't worth that much. The operation ends now."