Author's Note: I like to write about how things are going with the fic in author's notes. Hm, let's see. The hits to this fic have eclipsed those to my much older Hunter X Hunter fanfic. Amazing. But then again, they had stat resets back then, not that it really has anything to do with the fic itself... I'm also guessing that there is greater readership in the Hana Yori Dango fandom than in the HxH one; despite having less fics in this category, there seems to be more readers.
I am also aiming to at least get one chapter out a week; but sometimes it may not go all to plan, so please bear with me! I try my best, honestly! It's actually quite ambitious of me, since I am the type that is barely at home.
Being the superbly organised person that I am (yeah, right), I've already planned up to the ending for this fanfic! Weehee! The only thing left to do is to write it up and work out its details. But yes, I have a general idea of the events that will build up - planning is definitely needed because one event will affect another.
Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango does not belong to me! But the plot of this fanfic does.
Family Planning
By Onkiu
Chapter Four: The F4's expedition into the library.
"Nrrgghh..." muttered Tsukushi, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
She looked around at her surroundings. This wasn't her room; it was large, spacious and furnished lavishly. She looked around at the tasteful yet familiar decor and instantly realised where she was - one of the many guest rooms of the Domyouji mansion.
"So, you finally woke up, sleepy head," smiled Rui placidly.
"Now I know where you get that inhuman strength of yours," said Domyouji. "You take on after your mother. Like mother, like daughter."
"I heard it took her two blows to knock you out." said Nishikaido. "With a frying pan, that is."
"And yet, your skull didn't even crack. Poor people must have thicker skulls," said Mimasaka.
"What are you all doing here?" she muttered. "Were you all watching me sleep... wait, how long did I sleep?"
"Eighteen hours, and no, as if we'd want to watch you sleep. We'd only just arrived." said Mimasaka. "But I reckon Tsukasa did watch you for all eighteen hours. Have you wondered how you manage to get out of the car and into this room?"
The truth of it hit Tsukushi as Domyouji caved in to his violent tendencies and gave Mimasaka a taste of his fists.
"I called them here," said Domyouji, "Not to make stupid comments but to help me - I mean, us, - with our plan."
Tsukushi slapped her forehead. So he still hasn't given up...
"To be honest, I think this has got to be one of the best ideas that Tsukasa has ever come up with in his life," said Nishikaido, "But given that Tsukasa was the one who thought this up, there's still many flaws."
"Firstly, if you wanted everyone to believe you, you shouldn't have told us the truth behind it," said Rui. "But that's said and done because of Tsukasa's stupidity. Now that we know about it, we will help you with everything we can."
"That's right," said Mimasaka. "The more people that know about the fact that you're not pregnant, the greater the chance that it will be leaked out. Besides us, I don't think you should tell any more people about it."
"So, I can't tell Sakurako or Shigeru or Kazuya?" said Tsukushi.
"Nope."
"Not even Yuki?"
"Sad to say, not even her."
"Wouldn't having a few of our close friends know help? I mean, many hands make light work?" said Tsukushi.
"I think we should play this safe. We don't need blabbermouths. After all, it's a very delicate plan we're working out," said Nishikaido. "Plus, with the F4's brilliant minds, we're bound to come up with the perfect plan."
Tsukushi couldn't help but think that the biggest gossip queens of them all (no, all of Eitoku) were Nishikaido and Mimasaka, and having them know the plan would be more dangerous than having Sakurako, Shigeru, Kazuya, and Yuki combined knowing it. She also had a feeling that anything that the F4 puts their 'brilliant' minds to would end up being quite a fiasco; she thought back to their failed plans back when they tried to get Domyouji and her together. In Tsukushi's mind, Sakurako would probably come up with something more clever than the F4 ever could; she had the sly, evil and cunning mind needed for this kind of stuff. Thinking back to the scheme Sakurako had developed that lead to even more intense bullying of Tsukushi really made her blood boil, despite being so long ago.
"Secondly," said Rui, cutting through Tsukushi's train of thoughts. "You guys will need to acquire some knowledge about pregnancy, and plan this out carefully. It would look suspicious if you didn't know how many months pregnant you were, or some basic knowledge about parenting."
"And if you didn't have a tummy to prove how many months pregnant you were," added Nishikaido.
"You might even need to obtain some proof of your pregnancy. I doubt Tsukasa's mother would just take your word for it," said Mimasaka.
"I bet you only told us your secret because you couldn't name how many months pregnant Tsukushi was," Rui added accusingly.
"'COURSE I KNOW!" said Domyouji hysterically, trying to change the subject. "I just felt like informing my dear friends of the truth."
"Well, how many months then?"
He wasn't going to escape this question.
"Ten." Domyouji had a very smug look on his face, and looked so confident about it that had not scientific evidence disproved his theory, people would most likely be mislead to believe likewise.
"He really IS an idiot," muttered Mimasaka, slapping his forehead. He'd just verbalised Tsukushi's thoughts; Domyouji's stupidity, in her eyes, had just reached new lows.
"You need to do some serious researching on this subject, my friend," said Nishikaido sympathetically, patting Domyouji on the back.
This was how Tsukushi found herself being dragged towards Eitoku's vast library the very next morning. As she was about to enter class for her first period, she found the F4 waiting for her outside the classroom.
"C'mon Makino, we have some work to do," said Nishikaido.
"But I can't afford to cut class," she said, "Tuition is too expensive."
Plus, I don't want to contribute any further to this stupidity, she thought.
"Too bad, this concerns your baby," said Mimasaka in a particularly loud voice for the benefit of the class that had gathered around the doorway trying to get a better glimpse of the F4.
"You didn't have to be this loudly!" hissed Tsukushi. "And no, I'm not cutting any more classes, I've done it too much this year, I need to catch up on study..."
"Oh no, you don't," said Domyouji. "If you don't come, I'm going to make you come."
He heaved her up into his arms as she kicked and struggled, trying to break free. But Domyouji was still physically stronger than she was. Despite her lashing at his face and scratching, he managed to get her to the library without retaliating against her. They arrived at the library, and at Tsukushi's screams of "Let go of me!", Domyouji dropped her most inelegantly onto the floor.
"You know," mused Nishikaido, "Despite having gone to Eitoku Academy for all of my life, I've never stepped inside the library ever."
"I have," said Rui, to everyone's surprise, "I've tried this place out as a sleeping spot. It was not good. Too many girls were hiding behind the shelves whispering about me, so I had to move back to my emergency staircase."
"Well, let's take this brave step into the unknown!" Mimasaka laughed gaily as he pulled the glass doors open and pushed them inside.
There were not many students in there at this time of the day; most either did not have a free period at that time or were simply not inclined to cut classes as the F4 habitually did. Even if they did have time off, most Eitoku students would not have gone to the library unless it was necessary; it was seen as a hangout for nerds, losers, those without friends, and the majority preferred to be absorbed in the excesses of materialism - in the form of shopping.
The library was fairly quiet, and a few students were in there reading a book or doing some research. The F4 certainly had a strong presence - as they entered, the students who were studying looked up at them with a look of admiring awe. They found themselves a little corner of the library to begin their research, but as they were taking books out, they found that the students who were in there had crept up behind the shelves and were spying at them from in between the gaps of books.
So much for the secrecy of their operation; but it was lucky that no word had been said about the lies behind it. At first, they tried tolerating it, but news seemed to have spread that the F4 were 'studying' in the library. It got more and more crowded as the school came to peek at them studying from behind the shelves, and it was on that day that a new record had been set - the number of people gathered in Eitoku library at any one time.
Domyouji could handle it no more. He did not want any more people knowing the truth than was needed to. As the whispering and the pointing grew to an amount that they could no longer bear, Domyouji stood up, slammed his book shut, and ran towards the groups hiding behind the shelves, screaming, "GET OUT! LEAVE!"
Such was the fearsome nature of his look and ferocity of his words that the students started screaming and running for their lives out of the library. Even the librarian, who had hidden behind the shelves to watch, ran out and had to spend the rest of the day in the staff room. A new record had once again been set; it was the very first time that the librarian had been kicked out of the library in her service of twenty years.
It was only the five of them left in the library after that.
"Okay, let's really get started," said Mimasaka, slapping his hands together enthusiastically. He really seemed to be enjoying this. "We're going to make your pregnancy so convincing that even you'd be fooled."
"But isn't the aim to get Domyouji's mother fooled?" said Rui.
"Yes, and that too. Well, we're going to make it realistic!" said Nishikaido, clapping his hands together in glee.
Tsukushi could tell that they were enjoying this.
Mimasaka and Nishikaido set themselves loose over the library and came back carrying various books in their arms. Domyouji did a smarter thing by pulling out various recent scientific and medical journals, and Rui went off to search on the internet, coming back with some hard copies of various websites. Tsukushi refused point blank to participate any further in this sorry affair.
They began sifting through the useless information (which Domyouji's selection of journals had a lot of; it was mostly research articles of various irrelevant topics) and managed to strip it down to the most basic information they needed.
"I can't believe that the first research I ever did in school was not even homework that needed to be handed in," muttered Nishikaido, a comment totally ignored unsympathetically by Tsukushi. After all, he was one of the most enthusiastic supporters of this stupid plan.
"First thing you need to know, Tsukushi," said Rui seriously, "Is that, as a pregnant woman, your stomach will be growing quite a bit over the next few months. You're going to have to be able to state how many months you are pregnant and have the tummy to prove it."
"The stating how many months bit seems easy enough," muttered Tsukushi. She could ignore Nishikaido, Mimasaka, and Domyouji, but she could never ever bring herself to ignore Rui. "But what about the tummy?"
"There's two choices," said Mimasaka. "The first one, most obviously, is just to really get pregnant-"
Tsukushi gave him a most painful kick in the nuts.
"- OW! But it would solve all our problems, and this whole fiasco wouldn't really be a lie after all..."
"What's the second choice?" demanded Tsukushi, utterly refusing to listen to the implications of the first choice.
"You're going to have to wear a fake tummy for a few months," said Rui. "Being a skinny girl, I doubt you'd ever gain the padding to form a somewhat believable bulge." Tsukushi didn't really know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. Should she be pleased that she was able to maintain her nice, slim figure, or be insulted by the fact that she really can't afford to put enough money into food to make her fat?
"Here's a list of foods and medications that you should avoid during pregnancy," said Nishikaido, handing a list over to her. "And a list of foods and medications that you should be taking more of during pregnancy. Remember to avoid indulging in it, or else you're going to look like you want to harm your baby."
Tsukushi took a look at the list and nearly felt like fainting. "Must I remember all this? Ibuprofen, aspirin, warfarin..."
"Well.. um, no, I guess not. Not like other pregnant women remember it."
"Most importantly, you should abstain from smoking and drinking." said Mimasaka, nodding sagely.
"Does it look like I smoke and drink?" snapped Tsukushi sarcastically.
"Makino, you need to know about the changes to your body during pregnancy," said Nishikaido, holding up a book. "There are signs and symptoms of being pregnant. It's just like a disease."
"I'm not freaking pregnant!"
"Anyway," continued Nishikaido, ignoring her outburst, "You're about one month pregnant right now. No tummy, but aware of it. As a pregnant woman, you might suffer some back pains, sore breasts, cramps, breathlessness, and your facial complexion may change a bit."
"Hmm... I can fake the back pains, the sore breasts, the cramps, and maybe the breathlessness... but how the hell am I to change my complexion?" She was starting to find the art of pregnancy rather interesting.
"I don't know... I suppose we'll have to ... scribble on your face..."offered Nishikaido lamely.
"Do anything to my face and I'll do it to yours."
"Don't worry, being the handsome genius that I am, I'll think of something."
"You sure know a lot about this stuff," said Tsukushi snidely, "Have you gotten one of your many girlfriends pregnant before?"
"NO. WAY." said Nishikaido dangerously. She took this as a sign to not press this matter any further.
Domyouji grabbed the book from Nishikaido without asking and gasped, "Whoa! So many side effects of pregnancy! Hey, Makino, you're going to have to act tired as well... and what's flatulence? Is that like feeling flat?"
"No, it means passing gas heaps," said Tsukushi. Then it hit her; she would be the one to have to do all this. "Oh man, are you going to make sure I have to fart heaps? But I really can't do that! It can't be forced, it's a natural thing!"
"We'll be feeding you lots of baked beans," grinned Mimasaka evilly.
"There's more from this site," said Rui, pulling out some sheets of paper, "Lactation - you can easily hide that; same with insomnia, headaches - just complain a lot; nosebleeds - "
"I'll give her something perverted to thing about," grinned Domyouji, knowing what exactly he would do, but he was promptly smashed by Tsukushi in a most spectacular round house kick that would even put Chuck Norris to shame.
"- and incontinence."
"That occurs in the later part of pregnancy," said Nishikaido. "Just complain to the teacher that you need to go on toilet breaks a lot."
At least that's one symptom I don't have to worry about yet, thought Tsukushi.
"But the most important matter is to prove that you're pregnant. I think it would be best to see a doctor as well," suggested Rui. "To make this fake pregnancy believable, you're going to need an antenatal visit to a doctor and obtain some kind of proof. Acting is nothing next to something substantial. Tsukasa's mother is an iron woman... she's not going to believe it when only a few teenage kids say it's true. You're going to need a statement from a trusted expert."
"How are we going to find a doctor is going to go along with your idiotic plan?" said Tsukushi. "No doctor in their right mind is going to say I'm pregnant when I, obviously, am not!"
"Have I ever mentioned to you about my older brother, Shouichiro? The one who broke away from our family's thousand year old tea ceremony tradition to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor?" said Nishikaido. "We're going to pay him a visit."
Next Chapter: Despite Tsukushi's objections, the F4 delve further and further into this irreversible lie! How, oh how, will they cover up this deceit? Will Dr. Nishikaido help their plan, or hinder it? Find out in the next exciting installment of Family Planning! (end shameless plug).
Meh, I had to do a bit of research on pregnancy for this chapter. Every bit of research you read Tsukushi and the F4 doing was done by me too. I've never been pregnant so I don't know anything. o.o
Shouichiro Nishikaido is actually a canonical character, who was mentioned ever so briefly as breaking away from family tradition to enter medical school. How lovely to have a canonical character at my disposal; I despise having to make up original characters unless it is absolutely necessary; and only as a plot device.