Operation Impending Woops 2
"Red, take a look at this," Purple insisted, shoving a digital tablet into the other Tallest's face.
"What the heck Purple?" Red questioned, smacking his hand away. "Can't you see I'm trying to watch this super amazing puppet show?" Seriously, almost nothing was better than puppets. Explosions came close, but even they weren't as interesting over a longer period of time.
Maybe exploding puppets would be good. He should make that happen.
"But I really think you should read this," Purple pressed.
"Ok, fine," Red agreed as he took the tablet from Purple. His eyes traveled over the Irken letters. "Huh... according to this we're supposed to visit each of our allies during the first month of our coronation or they automatically get put on Irk's invasion list..."
"..." both of the Tallest were quiet for a moment.
"You know, I remember one of the advisors saying something about that," Red commented after a little while.
"I don't," Purple admitted. "I was way too loopy on those pain meds to remember anything that week."
"Don't you mean for that day?"
"Nope."
Red rolled his eyes. "You weren't supposed to take ALL of them you know." He let out a sigh. "No wonder you were acting so weird..."
"I saw so many strange things," Purple admitted, rubbing his forehead. "What a week."
"So it's already been three months..." Red mused, tapping his chin. "How many former allies turned enemies do we have?"
"I don't know," Purple responded. "Tallest Miyuki allied a lot of planets to the Empire... so probably a lot."
Red handed back the tablet to Purple and shrugged. "Oh well. There's nothing we can do about it now if they're already marked for conquest."
"Yeah I guess... but I think Vort was probably on there too and we've been allies since forever..." Purple said as he turned off the device and held it at his side.
"Someone should have reminded us to go do that," Red spoke, suddenly feeling a bit irritated. What the heck were they paying those advisors for? Wait... were they paying their advisors? Oh well, regardless they should have still said something!
"I know right? But at least we had that Battle-Borg Tournament with the Jackers and the Hobos, so they're not on the list." Purple shrugged and offered a smile. "That's something anyway."
"We're probably the first Tallest in history to completely forget..." Red sighed and rubbed his temples. "And we're going to look like the biggest jerks when the Control Brains start assigning the Elite to invade planets."
"Well uh... maybe we could pretend we did it on purpose?" Purple suggested. "You know, so we don't look like stupid jerks at least."
Red thought about this for a while before nodding in agreement. "Ok, if anyone asks we totally meant to invade Vort and anyone else who accidentally ended up on our hit-list."
"Yeah ok," Purple remarked.
"I'm sure we can find a good excuse."
"How about galactic conquest?" Purple suggested. "It's not like Irk hasn't used that excuse before."
"Sure, that sounds good," Red said as he returned his attention to the monitor. "I'm going to finish watching this now, so either be quiet and watch or go away."
"Ok, but we should probably start organizing stuff on Conventia-"
"That can happen later," Red motioned at the show he was watching. "Puppets now."
Purple rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but he didn't say anything because he'd started watching too.
Author's Notes: An alternative title: 'Please Pay Attention to Your Job Description Guys.' I thought it was a bit too long, thus the current title. This snippet and the last one is based off a thought I had a long time ago which was "what if the Tallest aren't actually evil, they're just lazy and incompetent?" Woops. Well. Here you go.