Chapter 4

AN: Very long, but no good place to break it.

"Derek," she said, backing into his office carrying a box of files. When she turned, she was surprised. He was sitting at his desk, playing with his bobble-headed dog that she got him. Her picture was up on his desk too. She hadn't noticed it there for a long time.

"What's up, baby girl?" he said, smiling his trademark grin at her. He looked absolutely delicious, and kind of relaxed. This was not like him recently. Derek recently was a tense person she didn't care much for. It was throwing her off.

"Completed files and printings. Hotch said I needed to bring them to you now." She dropped them on his desk and turned to go.

"Hey, sweetheart," he called. "Please sit for a while. Take a break, cop a squat." She glared over at him suspiciously. He added, "Please."

For so long, if he asked her for anything, she would go through fire to get it for him. Now, she didn't know if she wanted to expend the effort. "I really have work to do, Agent Morgan."

His face ran the gamut of emotions. He looked shocked, and then hurt, then disappointed. Then something changed. "Okay, baby, I understand," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe later?"

She was trying desperately to figure out his angle. A couple of months back, she would have been begging to spend time with him. Now, she was guarding her heart. She didn't want him to hurt her, not anymore, not ever again. He left her, left their friendship cold. Yet, she felt guilty, too. Wasn't his friendship worth fighting for? He was with her so many times, he even saved her life.

She had to sort it all out in her head. "Maybe," she said, and left.

It was late in the day. Just about everyone was going home. Penelope had a light to turn off on her map, and then she was going to shut down and go home. She logged off, clicked restart, and pushed the button to power save the many screens in her office. When she turned around, Derek Morgan was leaning in her doorway. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, something he usually didn't wear anymore.

"Can 'maybe' be now, baby girl?"

"Derek," she said, then cursed herself. Agent Morgan! Not Derek, not hot stuff, not sweet cheeks. Think distance, Penelope! "It's closing time, I'm going home."

"Can I come with?" he said, smiling at her.

"No," She looked at him and scowled. "What is up with you?"

He just continued to grin at her. "That's why you should want to talk with me, figure things out, laugh and tease."

"Morgan, I'm tired, and I don't have time for stupid games."

That knocked the smile right off his face. "Come on, Penelope. Cut me some slack, please?" He let out a frustrated sigh. "I miss you. I miss us. I made some big mistakes. Please, talk to me."

She closed her eyes, so she didn't have to see the pleading look on his face. She didn't know what to think, what to say, what to do. Her heart was beating, and with each beat, it ached. She was saved from having to answer.

"Listen," he said. "Just hear me out, and you can decide what you want to do. Give me five minutes, baby girl. One for each year of our friendship. That's all I ask."

She scowled over at him again, but plopped down in her chair at her desk. "Talk."

He smiled at the minor victory. He turned the chair around and straddled it, leaning over the back to look at her. "A couple of months back, I had some of the hardest times in my life. Stress here was higher than I ever had it, Hotch was on my ass like a bad diaper, then I got this promotion I didn't want or ask for. I became involved with someone. My heart started telling me that I needed a change, or I was going to lose my mind. I took that as needing to distance myself from the BAU."

"You could have shared that with me, Derek. I was your best friend."

He shook his head sadly. "That's where the problem was. I felt that you were part of the BAU, too. Especially when we argued about Tamara. I just couldn't see straight, and I didn't feel that I could confide in you. I just thought I needed time, and distance."

His sad eyes hit her heart like a heat seeking missile. "Baby girl, a man has never been so wrong as I have been. I blamed the BAU for my pain, and I lumped you in with that. When in reality, you were saving my life. I threw away my best friend with both hands." He ran a hand over his face in disgust. "I was confused, and God knows I don't deserve another chance. But I need you in my life. More than anything else."

"Derek," she said, tears in her eyes. Her beleaguered heart was aching, but another part of it was reaching out to him. Out of everything, she missed his friendship the most. The rest could wait.

"Baby girl," he said, standing up then kneeling in front of her. "Please say you still need me just a little bit, too?"

With a sob, she threw herself into his arms. "I missed you! I missed you so much!" They were both kneeling, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, placing little kisses on her face and head. The warmth soothed her battered heart. It was a natural place to be; she belonged in his arms. She leaned up to kiss his cheek, and found his lips instead.

The shock was instantaneous, surging throughout her body. It was intense and electric. She immediately pulled back. How could a little brush of lips cause that much sensation? She glanced up at him. She knew from the way he was looking at her he felt it too. He had an odd look on his face, like he was fighting something.

Whatever it was, it must have passed, because he just smiled at her again. "You going to the ball tomorrow, Cinderella?"

She laughed. It felt so good to laugh with him again. "Yeah, with Kevin."

"Okay. I'll see you there, then," he said, standing up, and holding a hand out to her. "I'll keep an eye out for your glass slipper." She laughed again, her eyes twinkling at him. He pulled her quickly to her feet, and held her one last time before they left for the night.