Related episode: 2.9 Lessons Learned

Suzuki-a methodology of teaching music, designed by Shin'ichi Suzuki

"Hey, did you get those proofs for geometry?"

I looked up from The Odyssey to meet Michael's eyes as he scribbled out his homework. Michael was supposed to be in gym while I had study hall, but we were sitting together on the floor in one of the practice rooms next to the orchestra room where the junior/senior winds were practicing.

"They're not that hard and I'm not letting you copy," I replied shortly.

He shook his head, making his long blond hair fall into his face. "Right. Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

He turned back to his notebook and I took another moment to study him. Michael always looked like he was short on sleep, but the bags under his eyes were a little darker than usual. His hands shook a little as he wrote out his equations and he was quieter than normal.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "I thought you had worked enough this summer that you could work less this year."

"Wasn't work," Michael muttered, not looking up at me.

"Then what was it? You look exhausted and you're not thinking straight."

He ignored me and kept writing. Despite the fact I was pretty much the only person who talked with him and got actual conversation in return, there was still only far I could push him until he shut down on me, too. Michael had been alone for a long time, but I wouldn't give up on him.

I sighed and opened The Odyssey again. On impulse and to show Michael that I wasn't going any where, I turned sideways and leaned back so that my head rested against Michael's lap, opposite his notebook. I felt him freeze underneath me and heard him stop writing.

"Um, Rachel?"

"Yeah?" I responded casually, propping my book open on my bent legs.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"I'm very comfortable."

"Okay, then."

We each went back to our homework and spent the rest of the period in companionable silence. It wasn't until we were standing and gathering our things for the rest of the morning when it occurred to me what other people would think. So many people thought that Michael and I were seeing each other, that we were sleeping together, doing drugs together, and whatever else puerile, teenaged minds could come up with. Honestly, I was surprised Mark didn't make a big deal out of it, but the one time he asked me, I told him the truth and he hasn't asked since. Not like that kept everyone else from gossiping.

I liked Michael. We could talk to each other like we couldn't with anyone else, like my dad's job and his dad in general. He told me almost a year ago that he wanted to be friends because I didn't judge him. Even though I had other friends, it was nice for me, too, to have someone who didn't think Dad's job was cool or look at me funny when I worried.

"There are more rumors about you and Michael," Alicia told me in band later that morning. "Claire saw you come out of a practice room today, told Jenny and everyone else she bumped into in the hallways."

I rolled my eyes. "'Lish, we've had this discussion before."

"Yeah, I keep hoping if I repeat myself, you'll actually listen to me one time."

Needless to say, Alicia thought I was insane for being friends with Michael. Sometimes, I thought she actually believed the rumors and not me when I said Michael and I were only friends.

"I can't believe Mark doesn't have a problem it," Alicia said, another repeated argument.

"Mark knows there's nothing to have a problem with," I answered, ignoring the little voice in my head admonishing my grammar. Predictably, the voice sounded like Reid.

I looked up from my music in time to see Alicia pouting.

"Look, can we drop it, please?" I asked.

Alicia bit her lip and glanced at me sideways. "You're still driving to the new mall tonight, right?"

Through sheer force of will, I didn't roll my eyes or frown or glare. Lately, it seemed like anytime Alicia was upset with me, I ended up driving her to the mall or a movie for her to get over it. Maybe it would get better once she gets her own license.

"Yes, I'm still driving to the mall opening tonight," I told her.

"Good. They have a new jewelry store I want to check out."

Sometimes, I wondered why Alicia and I were friends.

"I looked online and saw they have a set of earrings that would look great with that bracelet of yours."

And then I remembered that Alicia was still a genuinely good friend, just a little superficial sometimes.

By orchestra, Michael looked better rested, so I was betting that he had slept through lunch and maybe one of his afternoon classes. He walked with me back to my locker at the end of the day.

"Look, you know I wouldn't have really wanted to copy your work, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I know," I assured him. "That's why I was so surprised when you asked."

"I just wasn't thinking."

"I know. Don't worry about it."

Michael finally accepted that it was all right and followed me outside. "So, waiting for your mom or dad today?" he asked.

"Mom," I answered. "Dad left yesterday for Cuba."

Michael looked at me askance. "Cuba? What is he doing in Cuba?"

"All he told me was that he had to interview a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay," I told him. "And he left early. There was a text waiting for me when I woke up."

"So, another souvenir tee shirt on the way then," Michael joked.

I smiled. "Well, it's not like he's going to bring cigars."

Michael walked off when we saw Mom pull up. She might not have the same prejudice against him that Dad does, but she's not a fan either. She's worried he'll be a bad influence on me or something.

"Have you heard from Dad at all?" I asked when we got home.

"Nothing new, sweetie," she answered. "I think this case is different from their usual ones, so it might be longer this time."

I shrugged. It's not like Dad hadn't ever gone two days without talking to either of us before, but he was getting better about not doing that. Last year had started with him actually texting or calling me directly whenever he would leave. And really, the biggest reason he started doing that was because I had started looking up local news reports for the cities he was going to in order to find out what was going on. Sure, I could still do that even now, but it's kind of like an unspoken agreement between us.

"Could I push my curfew to 10:30 tonight?" I asked. "It's a longer drive for the new mall."

"What new mall?" Mom looked up from the mail she was sorting.

I raised my eyebrows. "The new mall that's opening tonight in McLean. You said I could go with Alicia."

Mom groaned slightly and brought a hand up to her eyes. "Oh, Rachel, I'm sorry. I told Mary that I would cover part of her shift tonight. I can't loan you the car."

I added my own groan to hers. "Alicia is not going to be happy."

Mom patted me on the shoulder. "It's an evening opening, right? How about I drop you girls off and see if Mrs. Burke can drive you home."

"Since that seems to be the only way we're going…" I muttered.

Alicia was, in fact, not happy, but didn't have any other suggestions. So, after dinner, Mom drove us out to the mall and dropped us off at one of the main entrances. I looked around and felt a little grateful that I didn't have to worry about a parking spot. And we would have until 10:30 pm to shop since Mrs. Burke would be picking us up.

"This is so cool," Alicia said as we walked in.

I took in the scene and wondered what was wrong with me. There had to be thousands of people there and every single one of them was in a rush. Normally, I don't mind the mall and I don't mind shopping or the crowds. I mean, it's not like high school is a place of peace and quiet. But lately, I keep seeing large crowds of people and thinking about how many bad things could happen because of what I've learned from Dad's cases and my own reading.

Yep, being the daughter of an FBI agent was a bit of a downer sometimes.

I didn't share my growing unease with Alicia since I knew she wouldn't understand and it would just annoy her. We met up with Liz Peterson and a few other girls from school and then forced our way through the throngs of people to the stores we wanted to visit.

We lost ourselves in Deb's and Torrid for clothing. Alicia steered us to the small boutique jewelry store and pointed out the earrings she had mentioned earlier. They were long strings of silver and turquoise beads and a perfect match for the bracelet Dad had bought me in Mexico that was also silver and turquoise. The store sold beads as well so I picked up a few ounces worth of seed beads and signature beads to play with at home with Mom for our jewelry making.

Liz, Alicia, and I separated from the others and stopped at Auntie Anne's for warm pretzels and sat on the fountain ledge in the mall's center, underneath the large glass ceiling. There was still light streaming through, so we had plenty of time and thought to pace ourselves. I was contemplating another pretzel when I heard glass shattering above me and screams from all around us.

I was looking around at the screaming people, so I didn't notice the body not even ten feet away from me at first.

"Oh my God," Liz whispered. "I think he's dead."

I stared at the guy dressed in dark clothing, lying in a heap on the floor and his eyes wide open and staring. He didn't look that much older than we were.

"I think you're right," I told Liz.

Ignoring Alicia's hands on my arm, almost cutting off the circulation, I looked up and saw several glass panels had broken with the guy's fall and there was a man standing on the roof and looking down at us all.

"He's dead, he's really dead," Alicia whimpered next to me.

I wanted so much to give into hysterics or run away, but Alicia was falling apart next to me and Liz was still stunned. Luckily, mall security showed up and kept most everyone calm and away from the body but didn't let people rush away in panic.

"We're investigating right now, folks," one guard was saying. "It's either an accident or a robbery gone wrong. Please be patient."

I wrapped one arm around Alicia and one around Liz, keeping myself together because I needed to. Just when I thought I was under control, I was shocked for a second time.

"Hotch?" I called out when I saw that the suit-clad man was within hearing distance.

The unit chief of the BAU spun around on his heel until he saw me at the crowd's edge. "Rachel! What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Shopping," I answered, the 'obviously' implied in my tone. "What happened, what are you doing here?"

Hotch looked significantly at my friends and the other people around us. I guessed that he couldn't or wouldn't tell the absolute truth with too many people around.

"Listen," he finally said. "How are you getting home tonight?"

"Mrs. Burke will be picking us up."

"All right. I need to talk with the local cops and then I'm taking you home. Your friends should probably call for an early pick up."

"Okay."

Hotch left us and cut his way through the crowd of shoppers and mall security. While he did his thing, I dragged Liz and Alicia away from the growing throng of people, coming to see what had happened in morbid curiosity.

"Alicia, call your mom," I prompted. I gently poked her when she didn't respond. I looked over at Liz who was also still in shock. "See if she can drive Liz home, too."

Liz shook herself off. "No, it's fine, I can drive. Alicia, I'll drive you home."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, sounding like her old self. Liz is typically a very calm person, but I knew how shocking it could be when you get caught off guard by a dead body. At least she hadn't had a panic attack like I had less than a year previously.

"All right. I'll talk to you two tomorrow."

"Hopefully you'll have answers," Liz said softly, taking Alicia by the hand and leading her toward the closest exit.

"Yeah," I muttered once they were gone. "And I hope that I'll be allowed to tell you them."

I pushed my way through back toward the now taped off area, appearing to be just another gawker. But I watched on as Hotch was joined by Morgan who was followed by a handful of other officers.

"I think they just said five more guys are dead on the roof," someone whispered near me. Another said three dead on the roof and another person said there were still two assailants being pursued throughout the mall. No one knew why though.

Mall security was pushing the crowds back even further to let the paramedics in with the gurney to take the body away when Hotch found me again.

"Let's go," he said shortly.

I realized that I had never seen Hotch as an agent before. Granted, I had only seen him two or three times a year, but it had always been socially. It reminded me of when I'd seen glimpses of what Dad's like when he works and I wondered if this was just how all BAU agents acted on the job.

Morgan caught up to us at the large black SUV, not surprised to see me so Hotch must have told him.

"Did your friends get picked up?" Hotch asked, getting in the driver's seat while Morgan took shot gun and I climbed in back.

"Liz drove them both home," I answered. "They'll want to know what happened," I prompted.

Hotch and Morgan exchanged a long look before Morgan turned around in his seat to face me. "The news will say it was an attempted robbery."

"So what really happened then?" I asked.

Another look, then Hotch asked, "How do you know that's not what happened?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you guys are here for one thing, Dad's been in Cuba for two days for another. Last time I checked, the BAU doesn't cover robberies, or attempted ones, or need to interview someone in Guantanamo Bay to do that."

Morgan was staring at me like I had suddenly rattled off one of Reid's lectures and Hotch kept looking at me in the rearview mirror whenever he could.

"I'm not stupid, you know," I pointed out, probably sounding as petulant as I was feeling.

Morgan shook his head and smiled at me slowly. "No, no you're not stupid, sweetheart. But I'm hoping everyone else buys it."

"No one else knows you two are FBI or knows where Dad went," I explained. Maybe other insiders would figure it out, but I wasn't thinking normal people would.

"Regardless, we can't break protocol," Hotch said. I recognized the "that's the end of it" tone. "It was a robbery that was stopped before anyone got hurt and that's all anyone needs to know."

"Yeah, that's why you told me to send my friends home and decided to drive me yourself," I shot back at him.

Neither of them answered that. Instead of driving me home, Hotch actually went to their offices, parking in the underground garage.

"Finally getting the tour, I guess," I commented.

"Go, man, I'll take care of Rachel," Morgan said as we got out.

I didn't know what was going on—another surprise—until Hotch was gone and Morgan turned to me. "Haley and Jack were supposed to be at the mall tonight. Hotch can't reach her."

Probably my dad would freak out once he hears that I was there and came ten feet close to a corpse. Suddenly, I remembered the body as it had crashed through the glass ceiling. There had been a pool of blood growing underneath it that I hadn't noticed at first. My friends weren't around needing me to be strong, it was just me and Morgan in the garage.

With my hands shaking and my breath coming in shallow pants, I slowly sank to the ground.

"Whoa, whoa, easy, girl."

I didn't have Dad around this time to focus me and snap me out of it, so I forced my breath to deepen and slow down, though my hands continued to shake.

"I'll be okay," I assured Morgan. I looked up into his worried face and had another flash of memory. "You were on the roof. Hotch was right there with security inside, but you were on the roof."

Even looking so concerned for me and then surprised that I had realized what he had done, he was still one of the most good looking men I had ever seen.

"Yeah, I was on the roof," Morgan confirmed. "But let's get you home, okay?"

I nodded and let him haul me to my feet and over to his car. I went quiet during the ride home and so did Morgan. I was so zoned out that Morgan had to shake me a little when he pulled into the driveway at my house.

"Will you be all right? Is your mom home?" he asked, stepping out of the car to walk me to the door.

"She's working, but I'll be fine," I assured him.

"Are you sure? You look a little shaky still."

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

Morgan still didn't look happy, leaving me on my own, but after making sure I got the door unlocked and went inside, I saw him drive away. Once I locked the door again behind me, I went down to my room and flung myself on my bed. Hannah came out from my closet and jumped up to join me. I cuddled her closer, bringing her up onto my chest where I could feel her purring vibrate near my own heartbeat. In addition, Hannah began kneading my collarbone while I scratched her head.

I had never before been this close to a case Dad was working before. I had always just seen the aftermath or seen him get the call to come in. But watching Hotch and Morgan as agents made me wonder if that was how Dad really was and if he was putting on an act for Mom and me. Which was real, Dad on the job or Dad as, well, my dad? Did Mom think about that? Did Haley?

I already knew I would never ask Dad about it. He was too good at responding to my questions without actually answering them. Mom would just tell me to ask him. Reid or Hotch or Morgan would probably just say the same.

Eventually, I got up and changed into pajamas and crawled under my covers, Hannah tucked up against my ribcage and my arm wrapped around her. Just before I fell asleep, I heard my phone buzz the alert for a text message.

Just landed, safe and sound. Love you, Rae, and talk to you tomorrow. –Dad

I had a feeling we would find a lot to talk about.

Notes:

There was really no doubt that I would write this episode this way considering the location of the final show down. Teenage girl, shopping mall, not a stretch. I also thought it would be cool for her to see Hotch and Morgan in the field.

Other than that, not much to say this week. Thanks to everyone who has read this and/or left a review. I'm having some upheavals in my life currently and hearing from all of you is keeping me positive. Also, and I swore I would never do this but, I might have to have a small hiatus for this story right before the finale. One of the upheavals currently going on is that I'm moving and I haven't had a chance yet to set up my computer to get back to writing. But, I could also be set up within a week and that won't be necessary. Fingers crossed!

Next update will be next week Thursday, hope to see you then.

Cantoris