So this story is going to get progressively more intense starting now but I promise to balance it out with fluff.
Ch.4 As My Childhood Treasures Burn
(JAKE)
"Dad," I call into the house. He had texted me and told me to come home at lunch, without Clare or Maya which was odd because he still wanted me to watch them at school. I could hear him doing some drilling upstairs so I went up there. The sound was coming from my room, he was installing a metal ring above my bed, it wasn't very big, maybe three inches but was being held in by a thick steel plate.
"Oh good your home," Dad grins.
"What's that for?" I ask Dad looking at the metal ring.
"Come," Dad says and I follow him into his room seeing an identical ring above the left side of his bed, the side Helen used to sleep on. "These chains," Dad says pulling out two thick medal chains, each link is maybe an inch big and half an inch thick, "attach to the rings above our beds and the other end of the chains attach to the metal rings on the back of the girls collars."
"So we can force them to sleep in our beds?" I ask salivating at the possibilities. I loved watching Clare and Maya do their household duties in their uniforms. I wanted so badly to feel Clare's plump breasts, make Maya touch me but Dad hadn't let me do anything but watch them yet. I hoped that the chains meant forcing them to sleep in our beds which meant we could touch them.
"Yes but not just yet, it's only been a week since they started servicing duties and they are still grieving the loss of their mother. We have to be somewhat careful, they could still break the rules, and they aren't under our control yet. We won't even tell them about the rings and they'll continue to sleep in their own room and beds for at least a couple more nights," Dad tells me.
"But forcing them to sleep in our beds, that means we get to touch them right? I mean touch them however we want right?" I ask hopefully.
"Yes, we'll start this weekend contain yourself until then," Dad says and I can't wait for this weekend. "Now get back to school and keep an eye on them. We should slowly pull them away from their friends, don't let them get too close to other guys," Dad instructs and I grin.
Getting back in my truck I drive back to school, Clare is outside eating with Eli and Adam. I leave her be for now and go in to find Maya, she's eating in the caf with Zig and Tris. I sit down next to Maya and she straightens up getting a little nervous and looking at me.
"Enjoying lunch?" I ask.
"Umm yes," she says timidly.
"Eat up, you'll need your energy," I tell her and get up.
"What did he mean by that?" Zig questions as I walk away.
"Jake's weird," Maya replies.
Did she just call me weird? She'll pay for that later, time to go mess with Clare now. After we beat Maya with the spoon we've had Clare so obedient she'll hardly look at us. She's scared that one wrong look will lead to further punishments for her sister, and she's right. Grabbing my lunch from my locker I sit on the front steps and just watch her, not saying a thing just watching her. I see her get nervous; see her squirming in her seat and trying to avoid looking at me. I watch as Eli and Adam look at her worried but when they ask her what's wrong she tells them nothing. She's shrugging them off and pushing them away for us; Clare will be fully in our control in no time and once she's in our control entirely Maya will follow close behind.
(MAYA)
"Mo is starting a band, we should try out Maya," Zig tells me seeing the poster on the bulletin board as we walk to our lockers.
"Yes and if you guys make it I can be your first groupie," Tris smiles, "you know when I'm not busy with Eli's movie."
"Umm I don't know guys, I'm kind of busy," I say not sure how else to explain that my stepdad demands I be home straight after school to be a servant.
"Oh come on Maya you're like the best musician in the school," Tris prods.
"Auditions aren't until Friday, I'll think about it," I answer slowly.
Our afternoon classes go by all too quickly and before I know it the bell has rung and I know I have to meet Jake on the steps. I see Clare on the steps, Fitz smiles at her and says he'll see her tomorrow before he goes to work.
"You aren't looking at boys are you Maya?" Jake's low voice next to me makes me jump and I tense up.
"No just watching Clare," I shake my head.
"Was she talking to Fitz?" Jake asks.
"They have classes together and she tutors him," I point out.
Jake doesn't say anything else and we go out to the steps, Clare's smile fades when she sees Jake but I don't blame her. Without a word we follow Jake to his truck and get in, Clare slides into the middle, she almost always does so that she's between him and me. Jake drives home but he's grinning differently today, there's more carnality to it and instead of staring at me or Clare he seems to be caught up in some fantasy in his head. Glen of course isn't home when we get there, sometimes he's home and sometimes he's not but as he's his own boss he makes his own hours. As has become our routine Clare and I go upstairs and change into our uniforms. I hate these uniforms and I'm beginning to hate the color black, I'm sure my sister feels the same about crimson, not that I'm too fond of it either. Our chokers of course never come off and when we get downstairs we have to give Jake our cell phones and he puts on our matching ankle bracelets, black for me and crimson for Clare of course. We have to start with the laundry and then house cleaning, Jake sits at the table to do his homework but watches us more than doing his homework. We finish the housework in time to make dinner; I begin preparing chicken while Clare is chopping vegetables. I add the chicken to the pot and Jake is behind me suddenly, pressing me into the counter and his arms around me. He pretends to wash his hands but I feel sick now, mostly because I can feel that he's hard. Hearing the front door open we know Glen is home and Jake steps away from me.
"Clare come take my coat," Glen commands her and she goes.
As she walks past Jake he smacks her butt! It's a hard slap but it's not meant to be a punishment it's meant for Jake's pleasure and he is grinning from ear to ear now. My sister on the other hand yelps when Jake's hand hits her butt and freezes in place. Glen looks angry but not at Jake, he's angry at Clare.
"Do you have a problem with what Jake did Clare? Do you think you have rights in this house Clare?" Glen asks and she shakes her head, Glen looks at me now. "Maya do you matter?" He asks.
"No," I shake my head.
"Who matters in this house?" Glen asks.
"You and Jake," I answer.
"You know that you are less than nothing don't you Clare?" Glen asks her and Jake laughs a little.
"Yes Sir," she answers.
"Then next time Jake does that you will continue on with what you are doing. You two are worthless and exist only to take care of us. Spank her again Jake but this time Clare ask him for it," Glen orders and we both look at him like he's crazy but Glen just gives her a harsher look.
"Will you slap me on the butt again Jake," Clare says with a trembling voice.
Jake smiles like he's just been given the best Christmas present, pulling his hand back and giving Clare another slap, this one harder than the last. She yelps this time but doesn't stay frozen and walks over to Glen taking his coat. She hangs it up and we continue making dinner, after standing at Glen and Jake's side while they eat, cleaning up when they're done and eating ourselves we are finally excused to our rooms to do homework but have to remain in uniform of course.
"If it stays like this I'm going to kill them or myself," I whisper to Clare when we're behind the closed door of our room.
"Maya don't talk like that, it can't stay this way forever," she tries to assure me.
"I was thinking of trying out for a band that Mo is putting together. I want to try out, to get out of this house at least a few more hours a week but I don't think Glen will let me," I confess.
"Try out Maya, I'm sure you'll make it, you've always had a gift for music," Clare smiles at me.
"What about Glen?" I ask.
"I'll worry about Glen, I'll convince him it's necessary, he keeps saying we need to appear normal and joining a band is something normal," she says.
"Thanks Clare, you're the best I love you," I smile at my big sister.
"I love you too little girl," she smiles back calling me by the nickname Mom used to call me and I wish Mom were still here, I miss her so much.
(CLARE)
"I think we'll have to go over all of that again," Fitz says to me as we leave math class. "I'm so behind, I'm going to fail out," he sighs.
"No you won't, I'll get you caught up, don't worry about it," I tell him as we walk to our lockers.
We grab our lunches and decide to sit in the memorial garden for today's tutoring session. Fitz opens his book and stares at it like it's written in ancient Greek. I start going over what we learned yesterday, when Fitz still doesn't seem to get it I slow down and take a different approach and his face changes, relaxing a little so I know he's getting it.
"Thanks Clare you're a lifesaver, I don't think I'd ever understand it without you explaining," Fitz smiles.
"I knew you'd understand, we just have to find a way to get you to connect to it," I grin.
"Only because you know how to explain it," he says.
"See if you can figure out the next few problems on your own," I tell him getting out my journal and beginning to write.
Friday October 7th,
This morning Glen woke us extra early, he wanted French toast for breakfast. I was tired after he kept me up so late. Worst of all he woke me up in the middle of a wonderful dream about Owen. I smiled when I saw him this morning; he was talking to Bianca and Drew and didn't see me. We were paired together in parenting though, he was so close and my heart flutters every time he's around. But even if he does like me back, which I doubt, Glen would never let me go out with him, he hardly lets us do anything anymore.
My writing is interrupted, not because Fitz needs my help though but because Maya suddenly bursts through the door and we both look at her.
"Clare I made it! I'm in the band, so is Zig, Imogen and Adam! We even have our first rehearsal after school," Maya squeals excitedly.
I haven't seen her this happy in ages, not since before Glen, seeing her so happy makes me smile. Fitz is smiling too, her happiness is contagious and it's a nice feeling given that lately we've forgotten what happiness is, we've felt nothing but misery and hopelessness.
"That's great Maya, congratulations I knew you would make it," I smile getting up to hug my sister.
"Thanks, I'm going to write some music, I feel so inspired now," Maya grins and rushes out of the room.
"She's excited, what was she talking about?" Fitz asks when I sit back down.
"Mo put together a band and Maya tried out, she hasn't been that excited in a while," I tell him.
"Has she been playing music long?" Fitz questions.
"Since she was about three, she's musically gifted; she picked up an instrument and just knew how to play. She can play just about any string instrument but she's sort of stopped in the last couple of years. It's nice to see her so happy and excited about it again," I reply.
"Speaking of gifts you used to write a lot didn't you? I remember you won an award in grade nine for a short story," Fitz comments.
"Yeah, I uh…haven't been writing much, aside from my journal," I tell him pointing to the journal sitting on the bench now.
"How come you haven't been writing much?" He asks.
"Umm…home has been…things are busy at home," I stumble over a response.
He opens his mouth to ask but then he goes back to his math problem. I eat a little lunch and continue helping Fitz with math getting him caught up for the week. When the bell rings Fitz walks with me to our lockers and Adam's at his.
"Congratulations on making the band," I smile hugging Adam, "watch Maya during rehearsals," I whisper in his ear, he gives me a look but he doesn't say anything.
"Thanks and I will," he tells me.
I put books in my locker and then we walk to art where we find Drew, Bianca and Owen already at our table. With Thanksgiving approaching we've been given the task of creating what Thanksgiving this year means to us in whatever medium we want. Bianca is working in clay and creating a diorama of Adam's family around a table that includes her. Drew was also working with clay but he was making him Bianca and Adam on the basement sofa watching TV and eating a lot of food. Owen and Fitz were drawing, Owen working in chalk and Fitz in pencil; Owen's drawing was about family and sports. Fitz of course was making an amazing sketch of food and friends; he drew a likeness of Owen, Drew and Bianca that looked like photographs. It was incredible and everyone had complimented on it. I had chosen paints but other than a few lines and shapes in dark colors I had nothing else on my page.
"Having trouble deciding what Thanksgiving means to you Clare?" Bianca asks when she sees my painting.
"I just don't know what to put," I tell her.
"Just put whatever you feel like," Mrs. Dawes tells me. "It needs more color, how about some crimson like the color of your choker?" Mrs. Dawes suggests.
When she says this all I can think of is Glen telling me that he chose this color because it represents sex. Suddenly I feel ill and rush out of the classroom dropping my paintbrush on the floor.
"Clare!" Owen calls after me, he catches up to me quickly and gently grabs my arm. "Clare what's wrong?" He asks.
"Nothing I just have to use the washroom," I tell him.
"You ran out very abruptly for just having to go to the washroom," Owen argues.
"I feel sick, my lunch is coming back up and unless you want it to end up on your shoes let go of me," I insist.
Owen releases me and I run to the washroom, I don't actually vomit but stand over the sink coughing and feeling ill.
"Hey Owen said you were sick, are you okay?" Bianca asks coming into the washroom.
I rinse my mouth and lean on the sink nodding, "Pull it together Clare, this is not normal, you're going to be in trouble already and if Glen finds out you're breaking down in school he'll likely lock you in a room, or punish Maya again." After internally scolding myself I look at Bianca. "Yeah I'm okay I think the meat in my sandwich was bad," I tell her.
"You want to come back to class or see the nurse?" Bianca questions.
"I think I can go back to class," I reply.
She puts an arm around me and we walk back to class, I apologize for running out and Mrs. Dawes says it's fine. Owen is giving me a worried look but I'm too ashamed to look at him. When the bell rings I leave class as fast as I can and go straight to my Core French class that I have with Jenna. We don't sit together and we don't really speak because she stole K.C. in grade nine and I guess I've never forgiven her. Of course Glen started dating Mom around the same time and my life began to turn to tell hell piece by piece. Knowing that Maya has band practice after school I leave Core French as fast as I can and hurry to auto shop it's also Owen and Eli's last class.
"Hey Clare," Eli smiles when he comes out of the room.
"Hi I'm waiting for Jake," I tell him just as Owen walks out and I could swear that I see some disappointment on his face.
"See you tomorrow, I'm meeting Fiona and Imogen to work on the movie," Eli says giving me a smirk before walking off.
Jake walks out with Sean just behind, Jake gives me an evil grin; while Sean gives me a kind smile.
"Hey Clare," Sean says coming to give me a quick hug.
Jake doesn't like the hug, I can tell by the look on his face and I see Owen look back at us for some reason.
"We should get home," Jake says pulling me from the hug. "Where's Maya?" Jake asks when we're far enough away from Sean; Jake's also squeezing my arm hard enough that I'm sure it will leave a bruise I'll have to cover up.
"Maya has something to do, she'll get a ride home later," I tell him.
"Dad's not going to be happy," Jake comments.
"I know but he wants everything to appear normal doesn't he and that means sometimes we have things to do after school," I point out.
"You're telling him," Jake remarks as we get in his truck, "I bet he'll punish you and then punish Maya when she gets home."
I just nod; Jake drives us home without another word but a malicious grin on his face the whole way. It's Friday and Glen is usually home early on Friday so I go straight upstairs and change into my uniform. Jake takes my phone and puts on my ankle bracelet then I go about tidying up until Glen comes home.
"Where's Maya?" Glen asks as I take his stuff.
"She stayed after school," I inform him.
"What do you mean she stayed after school?" Glen growls twisting the choker around his fingers so that it tightens around my neck, not so tight that I have trouble breathing but tight enough that I'm scared.
"She joined a band, she's trying to keep up appearances that everything was normal and she was asked to try out weeks ago," I tell him hoping that this version of the truth is enough to placate him.
"A band will take up her time," he snarls.
"Yes I know bu…"
"If she is not here then you will be preforming both your duties and her duties until she returns and you will both be punished for this," Glen informs me, shoving me away.
"I want to punish her now," Jake says rubbing his hands together.
"And we shall, Jake start a fire in the fireplace," Glen instructs.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"You have not been spoken to, start making dinner," Glen orders.
He goes upstairs and I begin making dinner but I'm worried as to why they need a fire. A dozen thoughts race through my mind but nothing could prepare me for what does happen. Glen comes downstairs just as Jake has the fire going, he's holding our family photo album the one from before he and Jake came into our lives. Mom had kept it hidden but he must have found it.
"When you defy me Clare you will regret it. Your life before this was a dream Clare, this is your life now, you do not matter, you are nothing, you live to serve us and you have no rights," Glen says before tossing the photo album into the fire.
"NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I scream rushing for the photo album but glen grabs me holding me firmly with one arm across my chest.
"Jake take all the pictures of Helen and her family off the mantle and toss them into the fire," Glen instructs.
"NO!" I scream.
Jake only laughs maniacally and throws all the pictures in the fire, he has a pleased grin on his face and the more I cry the more Jake seems to be amused.
"Helen's music box now," Glen tells him.
"NO Glen please," I beg sobbing heavily.
"Next time one of you decides to do something that will take up your time discuss it with me first," Glen growls in my ear.
Jake takes the music box from the bookshelf, a music box my grandmother gave her, and he throws it in the fire! It breaks against the burning firewood, pictures and photo album, the house already filling with a foul odor from the burning pictures but all I can think is I'm watching my childhood burn away. Jake opens the doors and windows, turning on the fan to air out the house. Glen lets go of me and I sink to my knees on the floor, sobbing as I watch the fire devour my memories.
(OWEN)
It was Saturday afternoon and I was downtown, Thanksgiving was Monday and Mom had asked me to pick up some stuff for her from some shop down here. We had family coming in tomorrow and Mom was cooking dinner and wanted everything to be perfect. I was walking back to my car when I saw Sean and a very pretty woman with him walking toward me.
"Hey Sean," I grin.
"Hey Owen," Sean smiles, "Paige Owen is one of my best students. Owen this is my girlfriend Paige," Sean introduces us.
"It's nice to meet you Paige," I smile, "I'd shake your hand but they're a little full right now," I apologize.
"It's okay we were just going to grab some lunch would like to join us?" Paige offers.
"Uh sure great if you don't mind," I reply.
"Not at all," Sean says and I smile.
I follow them down the street to a diner and we get a table. Nothing I have is perishable it's all linens and decorations. Sean tells Paige how I'm good with cars and help him after class sometimes and she smiles.
"You know Sean and I met at DeGrassi," Paige tells me when our food comes.
"Really?"
"Yeah we both went there; I was a grade behind because I got into some trouble. We never dated or were even really friends in high school but we hung out with some of the same people at times. The girl I dated on and off through most of high school is now married to the guy Paige dated for most of high school," Sean tells me.
"No way, so do you know Clare then?" I ask Paige.
"Clare Edwards?" Paige asks.
"Yeah I just found out the other day that Sean knows Clare," I tell her.
"Yeah, I knew her older sister better but we hated each other," Paige admits. "I really only saw Clare a couple of times before Darcy left."
"So how do you know Clare so well?" I ask Sean.
"I wouldn't say I know her well, Darcy was raped on a DeGrassi ski trip, she was drugged and for a while thought she had sex with her boyfriend Peter," Sean is explaining.
"Peter, the guy that runs the Dot? Or did until about a year ago?" I question, now that I'm thinking about it I do remember him talking to Clare a lot.
"He still does but he went away to school last year," Paige informs me.
"Yeah Darcy was dating Peter but she started remembering the rape and she started breaking down. She became self-destructive and tried committing suicide a couple of times. With her erratic behavior and the fact that Maya was only nine I think she was sent to stay with her Grandparents. Clare was twelve and kept around but her parents were so busy with Darcy that Clare was often left on her own. Darcy's ex…" Sean is saying when Paige cuts him off.
"And mine," Paige speaks up.
"Yeah Spinner dated Paige for most of high school, anyway Spin and our friend Jay looked out for Clare, I was with them and helped out a few times too but I never met Maya and don't know Clare as well as they do," Sean explains.
I only just learned that Clare had an older sister a few days ago but now I learn that Darcy was raped! I suddenly feel a little more protective of both Clare and Maya, not wanting either of them to ever experience anything like that.
"So where is Darcy now? I know you said she left but why and where?" I inquire.
"She went to Africa, she started to heal from her rape and her parents convinced her to atone for her sins. So she went to Africa to do mission work," Paige explains.
We talk a little more and Sean pays for lunch saying he'll see me Monday. I wave to them and get in my car to drive home and realize for all the times Maya's been at the house and all the times I've gazed at Clare I really don't know either one. I drop the stuff at home and head to the Dot hoping that Clare or Maya will be there honestly but neither one is and I'm rather disappointed. Fitz is here of course as he's working, he grins at me when I come in and I go up to the counter.
"Hey when's your break?" I ask him.
"I can take one now," he tells me looking at the other guy behind the counter and he shrugs. Fitz grabs us a couple a couple of coffees and we sit at a table in the corner.
"Did you know Clare and Maya's sister was raped and went to Africa?" I ask him.
"I didn't even know they had a sister until you told me," Fitz replies.
"Yeah Sean, the auto shop teacher, and his girlfriend Paige told me. I don't want either of them to ever go through something like that," I tell him.
"Yeah, we'll watch them closely I don't want either of them to go through anything like that either," Fitz nods.
Update next Sunday starting with Saturday morning for the girls and probably including Thanksgiving.