Girl wakes up in bed, in a building. Some guy is standing there, waiting
for her to talk to him.
Girl: Why are you waiting there? Am I naked or something? Are you checking me out?
Girl lifts blanket and looks.
Girl: OK, I'm not naked. Get the elixir!
Girl stands up, walks to the clock and takes the elixir. There are always elixirs hidden in clocks. Always. She checks the door; it's locked. Really.
Girl: So Arvis, what's up? I mean… Where am I?
Mode 7 kicks in and blurs the screen a little. Old man somehow notices this.
Old Man: Whoa! And I only just removed the crown!
Girl: …head…hurts…
Mode 7 kicks in some more.
Old Man walks over, picks up slave crown. Crown hovers in front of him.
Old Man: Easy! This is a Slave Crown. The others had complete control over you while you were wearing it.
Girl: (mutters to herself) That's what you think. (Out loud) I can't remember a thing… *snicker * thus I cannot be held responsible…
Old Man: What are you talking about?
Girl: I have amnesia. I have no memory.
Narrator: A mysterious young woman, controlled by the Empire, and born with the gift of magic…… Please enter a name.
Author: Let's see…
Otaku: She still has a slave crown on in her picture.
Author: Shhh! I'll call her "Tina."
AOHell Instant Messenger: Sorry, that name is already taken. May we suggest Tina23 or Tina13 or Tina1337.
Author:…Aw crap. This is what I get for being creative. "Terra" it is!
Girl: My name……is…Terra…
Outside, the big doberman brothers of the chihuahuas she toasted earlier run up to the house and bark, using the classic MIDI bark. Soldiers walk up to the house and bang on the door.
Soldier: Open up! Give us back the girl and the Empire's Magitek Armor!!
Terra: Empire…? Magitek Armor…? I don't know anything about THOSE…
Terra gives a "sweet innocent girl" look. Audience goes "awww… She couldn't possibly be evil…"
Old Man: Look, I have to get you out of here! I don't have time to explain!
Terra: …ew. Don't touch me. Hentai.
Old Man: ….
Terra shoves him and runs out the back door. As she crosses a bridge, a soldier sees her.
Soldier: She's up there!
Terra ignores him and heads into the mineshaft.
She steps on a glowing dot on the ground.
Narrator: An eerie glow surrounds you. Want info about Save Points?
Terra: No, I've only played this game fifty thousand times…
Terra opens a treasure chest.
Narrator: Got "Fenix Down!"
Terra: Don't you mean, "Phoenix Down?"
Narrator: No… I mean "Fenix Down!"
Terra: But, you're misspelling it…
Narrator: I don't hear you…
Terra walks some more until she sees a doorway. A soldier pops out of it.
Soldier: Got her!
The soldiers corner Terra.
Terra: You think you've cornered me. But now you're in Fire range! Hahahahahahaha!
The ground breaks below her and she falls.
When she lands, Terra struggles to move, but collapses. Mode 7 + fadeout = kickass special effects.
Girl: Why are you waiting there? Am I naked or something? Are you checking me out?
Girl lifts blanket and looks.
Girl: OK, I'm not naked. Get the elixir!
Girl stands up, walks to the clock and takes the elixir. There are always elixirs hidden in clocks. Always. She checks the door; it's locked. Really.
Girl: So Arvis, what's up? I mean… Where am I?
Mode 7 kicks in and blurs the screen a little. Old man somehow notices this.
Old Man: Whoa! And I only just removed the crown!
Girl: …head…hurts…
Mode 7 kicks in some more.
Old Man walks over, picks up slave crown. Crown hovers in front of him.
Old Man: Easy! This is a Slave Crown. The others had complete control over you while you were wearing it.
Girl: (mutters to herself) That's what you think. (Out loud) I can't remember a thing… *snicker * thus I cannot be held responsible…
Old Man: What are you talking about?
Girl: I have amnesia. I have no memory.
Narrator: A mysterious young woman, controlled by the Empire, and born with the gift of magic…… Please enter a name.
Author: Let's see…
Otaku: She still has a slave crown on in her picture.
Author: Shhh! I'll call her "Tina."
AOHell Instant Messenger: Sorry, that name is already taken. May we suggest Tina23 or Tina13 or Tina1337.
Author:…Aw crap. This is what I get for being creative. "Terra" it is!
Girl: My name……is…Terra…
Outside, the big doberman brothers of the chihuahuas she toasted earlier run up to the house and bark, using the classic MIDI bark. Soldiers walk up to the house and bang on the door.
Soldier: Open up! Give us back the girl and the Empire's Magitek Armor!!
Terra: Empire…? Magitek Armor…? I don't know anything about THOSE…
Terra gives a "sweet innocent girl" look. Audience goes "awww… She couldn't possibly be evil…"
Old Man: Look, I have to get you out of here! I don't have time to explain!
Terra: …ew. Don't touch me. Hentai.
Old Man: ….
Terra shoves him and runs out the back door. As she crosses a bridge, a soldier sees her.
Soldier: She's up there!
Terra ignores him and heads into the mineshaft.
She steps on a glowing dot on the ground.
Narrator: An eerie glow surrounds you. Want info about Save Points?
Terra: No, I've only played this game fifty thousand times…
Terra opens a treasure chest.
Narrator: Got "Fenix Down!"
Terra: Don't you mean, "Phoenix Down?"
Narrator: No… I mean "Fenix Down!"
Terra: But, you're misspelling it…
Narrator: I don't hear you…
Terra walks some more until she sees a doorway. A soldier pops out of it.
Soldier: Got her!
The soldiers corner Terra.
Terra: You think you've cornered me. But now you're in Fire range! Hahahahahahaha!
The ground breaks below her and she falls.
When she lands, Terra struggles to move, but collapses. Mode 7 + fadeout = kickass special effects.