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It is not easy to cope after a loved one dies. You mourn and grieve. They say mourning is a natural process you go through to accept a major loss.
There are millions of profound poetic quotes floating around out there about the beauty of life and the sting of death.
The departure of a loved one, especially one taken long before they were due, should never relate the experience to a rose, even if it is likened to the thorns.
People die. It's the one universal truth that people can always rely on.
Darry sat at his seat at Ponyboy's funeral, eyes bloodshot, throat dry. He still remembered that day...getting the visit from the police telling him that their parents had died in a car accident.
"They died almost instantly. I'm sorry son."
But the car accident hadn't been his fault. He didn't yell at them or hit them. He had done those things to Ponyboy. If he hadn't lost his temper, if didn't hit him, he wouldn't have ran away and get into a confrontation with socs at the park.
Pony would have been safe at home. He would have woken up the next day in his own bed, started cooking breakfast, and during the middle of cooking it he would have walked away, daydreaming and burned it.
Throughout the whole week, he had worried out of his mind about Ponyboy, waiting for news about him, trying not to think about the worst. But the worst had come true.
It wasn't fair. Their family has been so close, so many times before. Now, three out of the five were gone now.
After getting the news about Ponyboy from the cops a few days ago, Darry stood frozen, unable to move. Then, unable to stop himself Darry fell to his knees, balling like he had never done before.
The worst part of the whole thing was having to tell Sodapop.
It was something he had never felt before, like being helplessly trapped underwater, drowning. Darry felt shock and the total invasion of misery, his shoulders trembling so hard, overwhelmed by guilt.
Throughout the next few days and even now, he wondered if Ponyboy knew just how much he loved him.
How could he know? You never said it.
Going back to when their parents died, he wasn't just big brother anymore. His mind went to all the times he yelled at him, sometimes for just the smallest things and wondered if that did damage to their relationship.
Darry remembered being Ponyboy's protector, looking out for him. He felt his heart ache and eyes begin to sting when he thought...
"Why wasn't I there to protect you at the church last Saturday?"
But the question wasn't really necessary. He knew the answer.
Darry looked around and saw Dally, Steve, and Two-Bit standing together, their hands in their pockets, all three of them had red eyes from crying. Ponyboy was their brother just as much as he was Darry's and Sodapop's.
Johnny was still in the hospital, unable to attend the funeral of his best friend.
Darry observed Dally closer and noticed he still had a slight black eye. As much as he wanted to stay mad at him, he couldn't. He realized now he was just trying to help them.
Sodapop had stayed by Ponyboy's casket, eyes swimming with tears and bottom lip trembling until Steve came over and gently took his wrist and led him away.
Darry started thinking about how close Sodapop and Ponyboy were and how he envied them.
The two of them only got closer after their parents died, and he and Pony only drifted apart. Sodapop liked having a little brother.
Even though he would never say it out loud, he wondered if Soda thought it was his fault. Darry wouldn't have blamed him if he did.
Darry took a deep breath, feeling like he was going to pass out or throw up at any minute.
He had never been able to cry before, but now his eyes were sore from doing so much of it. Tears started coming down his cheeks again,
Darry wanted to scream, let out every ounce of emotions he had in his body.
People started looking at him.
"Maybe I am screaming."
Sodapop looked like he wanted to crawl up into a little ball. Dally and Two-Bit rushed over to Darry, grabbing him on either side.
"I can't take this."
The End.