Multiple Blessings

(Chapter Four: The Backup Plan)

Elliot watched her from an angle as she sang along with the church choir. Olivia sat with her hymnal in her lap and curled the tip of the page in her fingertips as she studied the words. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her. There was no doubt in his mind that God had sent her to him, his own personal angel.

"What?" he heard as his eyes met hers and he realized he'd been caught staring.

"Beautiful," he mouthed as she smiled.

Elliot loved to see her smile. And in the weeks since she had lost the baby he could count the times he had seen her smile on one hand. Today was a good day.

"I was thinking," he whispered as he leaned into her, "maybe after church we could go for a drive. Maybe get some dinner at that little Italian place you like so much. What do you think?"

"Aren't we supposed to have dinner with the kids like we do every Sunday after church?"

"I thought maybe today we could do something together….just us."

Olivia shifted her eyes to look into his and smiled gain.

"That sounds nice," she said with a nod.

Elliot smiled and kissed the side of her head. He stretched out his arm and slipped it around her and Olivia leaned in against him.

After church they kissed the kids goodbye and climbed into the car. Elliot drove around for a while, then parked the car at a lookout point so they could talk.

"You wanna get ice cream?"

"Before dinner?" she asked.

"Sure. Or one of those pretzels you like so much."

"Okay."

They walked for a little while down a jogging path under some shade trees.

"So what is going on?" she asked popping a chunk of soft pretzel into her mouth.

"What do you mean?"

Olivia smiled.

"I mean, you act like you've got something on your mind."

"I guess I do."

"Do you wanna share it with me?" she asked with a smile as she turned to feed him a bite of pretzel.

"I love you," Elliot mumbled through a mouth full as he kissed her lips.

"I love you, too."

"I've been thinking….I mean I know that you said you didn't want to talk about the baby thing again….but I think we should."

"Talk about it?" she asked as tears pooled behind her dark eyes.

"Have one."

"El, I have explained this to you the best way I know how. I can't. I just can't go through all of this again. We can't afford to keep going it and there is no guarantee that I could get pregnant again anyway."

"There is never a guarantee, Olivia. But if we don't try again we know it wont ever happen. I don't care about the money, I care about you. I love you and I want you to be happy. This is the one thing that will make you happy."

"I am happy."

"Truly happy, Liv. A baby is the one thing keeping all of your dreams from coming true."

Elliot watched her stare at the ground and he knew she was trying not to let him see she was crying.

"Sweetheart, I know how bad you want this. I want it too. And we can't just give up on a dream because it is a little difficult to reach. If we do, it will never come true. And in my opinion giving up is much more a tragedy than trying unsuccessfully. We still have embryos at the clinic. Enough for one more round. I just don't think it makes sense to walk away without giving it our all. It doesn't have to be right now. It could be months from now or a year from now….whenever you feel that you're ready. But I think we should try this one last time."

"Then what?" she asked wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. "If it still doesn't work….then what?"

"Then we could consider other options."

"What other options, Elliot?"

"We could put out an add and look for a surrogate. We could pay someone….and the baby would still be ours. Or there is still adoption."

"No agency is ever going to approve two cops to adopt a baby."

"Maybe not. But there are other ways."

"Like black market?" she asked with a worried look. "Those people steal babies and sell them to the highest bidder!"

"I was talking about an international adoption. You go through a private attorney who arranges all of the details. The babies are from other countries, usually from orphanages filled with children of all ages who need good homes. The lawyer works strictly for the cost, so it isn't like you are buying a baby."

"How do you know all of this?"

"Do you remember Jim and Sarah Watson from church? This is how they adopted their baby girl, Leah. The people they dealt with are very trustworthy and have helped thousands of couples adopt babies. He gave me the number of the lawyer who handled their adoption. Jim said Leah was one of over a hundred babies in a Chinese orphanage up for adoption. He and Sarah flew over and were able to see some of the babies. He said that they fell in love with little Leah the moment they first saw her. A few weeks later they were flying back to finalize the adoption and bring home their baby girl."

"Is this something you really want to do?"

"I think it is something we should at least consider. You know, think about it for a while. All I am trying to say is that I think it is a little too early to just give up all hope. We may not be ready to try again just yet, but someday I think we should. I love you with all of my heart, Olivia. And I know you have so many wonderful qualities to offer to a baby. You would be an amazing mother and I think that we would have a pretty great kid together."

"Maybe you could call that lawyer and set up a meeting. Just to get more information….just to learn more about international adoption and see if it is something we would be interested in."

"Yeah?" Elliot asked as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and brushed his nose against hers lovingly.

"Yeah," she replied staring at him with soft eyes. "And maybe in a couple of weeks, we could try the Invitro one more time. It seems like a waste just to leave unused embryos."

Elliot smiled as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"But Elliot…."

"Yes?"

"Whether it works or not….this has to be the last time. I just can't keep doing this."

"Alright," he agreed with a kiss to seal the deal. "We will try one more time and I will set up a meeting with that lawyer….for our back up plan."

"I love you so much," she whispered as she closed her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

Elliot tightened his arms around her waist and kissed his wife tenderly.

"I love you too, my angel. And there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you."

"I know," she said with a smile. "How about you take me to dinner?"

"Alright," Elliot laughed as they started back for the car, "I think I could arrange that."

"Good. Because I am starving," she laughed.